Chapter 14

For a second, we're all frozen in the chilly night air. For the first time since the countdown ended, we are all completely still. We're in waiting, ready to anticipate the other's movement, but no one wanting to make the first move. We do have some options; wait and see if the fire draws in other tributes for a fight. Of course, that will provide us with an opportunity to narrow down the remaining tributes even further.

It is likely, however, that we are the only ones still awake, or paying any attention to the fire-starter. It is as though I am the first to reach this conclusion. Twisting my fingers, I break out of Cato's grip and run, full-speed, into the woods.

Being the most graceful and the smallest, I can actually run pretty quietly. But, if I didn't know who was behind be, I would assume I was being chased by some pack of elephant mutts. It doesn't matter, though, not like it would for the others. Noise caused by the outer district's tributes is, in essence, them broadcasting their location across the arena, specifically to us.

We, on the other hand, find delight in making this noise. It gives us yet another chance to prove to the others that we don't fear them, that we don't even consider them to be real opponents. One may think that, when they hear us, the others would run. Quite frequently, at least the way it always seemed to happen in the past, was the tribute attempting escape would run right into whoever they were running from. We have nothing but reasons to carry on like this. And so, of course, we do.

After about ten minutes and a mile and a half or so into the forest, we smell the smoke. Though the campfire has obviously burned out a few hours ago, and we likely saw it in its final stage of burn-out, the embers are still glowing a soft orange, giving a false sense of security. Then, we find the tribute who started it.

If I remember correctly from the night of the interviews, her name is Sanannah, and she is from District Eight. Surprisingly, when we walk over to her, she is still fast asleep, blissfully unaware of our presence.

At least, she is until District Twelve trips over a twig, snapping it inches from her ear. When her eyes snap open, Cato and Glimmer are standing right over her face, with Marvel and I next to opposite shoulders. District Twelve hovers awkwardly about a yard from her feet. I watch as her eyes dart around, searching for a way out. Panicking, she launches herself into a fast crawl, attempting to get past Twelve. He is leaving her the biggest gap, of course. But then, always having had near-perfect reflexes, Cato grabs her around her waist. His coming attack really was a blink-and-you'll-miss-it kind of thing. One second, She was fighting against him, trying to wriggle out of his arms, and the next her blood is on his hands. As I hear her drawn-out, cold scream, something cold seems to twist inside of me. It's the exact thing I experienced at the Cornucopia.

I can't let the others know about these flashes. I know what they are; guilt. One of the very things we trained against. If they find out, they will abandon me for sure. I don't need them, that's for sure. I just have to stay with them. That's how it always has been, back in the district. I need to make them proud. Everyone back in the training center who ever said I was too small, not powerful enough, I'll make them eat their words and stay true to our district's traditions. So I have to bury these emotions as deeply as I can. As I was the first to come in, I am the first to turn away.

But, only fifteen yards away, some of the others start to debate going back. Of course, Glimmer has to have chosen this moment to fill her head with something other than air.

"Shouldn't we have heard the cannon by now? Or seen the hovercraft? I mean, we're far enough away for them to send one in. Aren't we? Let's go back."

"No!" I protest a bit too loudly and much too insistently. "I mean, we can't." Flashing yet another falsely sweet and flirtatious smile, I continue. "I have complete faith in Cato. He knows what he's doing."

Rolling her eyes, Glimmer turns away from me. Annoy Glimmer? Check.

After a moment of debate, with Cato and Marvel taking my side, and Twelve taking Glimmer's, we decide that one of us may as well go back in. Hoping for an opportunity to leave Twelve behind, I attempt to flatter him. "Why don't you go? It would be such a great chance to prove yourself. What? You aren't loyal to us or something? Should day four come-" I pause for dramatic effect, and glance at the wet redness still glistening on Cato's hands. "A bit early? No? Well, then, go on."

After a second's hesitation, he does. After his footsteps stop, there is no sound until the cannon fires.

It takes a moment for him to re-join us, though. So I decide that I may as well seize this opportunity.

Startlingly, though, Glimmer already is. Batting her long eyelashes, she is trying to flirt with both of our district partners at once. "Let's just leave him behind. Please?"

Before either of them have the opportunity to respond, Twelve is back. Glimmer, who was just moments ago complaining about him, shrieks with joy. "That was totally fabulous! I mean, we didn't see it but-" Breaking off, she gives him one of the dazzling smiles she continuously was giving the audience last night. "You're one of us now."

To be honest, though, I'm starting to regret being considered a part of this group. What does it mean to be a part of it? To sacrifice humanity for tradition? To substitute emotion for instinct? I don't know. So I go along with it; it's all that I know, after all. So I join in with the others, celebrating our so-called ;victory.'

But looking around at the faces of my allies, now in full view thanks to the rising sun, I can't help but wonder how many other smiles are forced. Quite frankly, I don't know if mine will ever be real again.