Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended.

Thank you Ann, Jess and Steph, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process.

Welcome to all of you new readers this week. Special thank you to Sheena (Savannah-Vee on FFN) for her help again this chapter, she helped me with the dialogue for Lauren Mallory and to Jess for her lovely review of this story on The Little Known Ficster. The link is on my profile along with where to find previews for Ch 15.

Monster

"I knew she wasn't dead. They would have thought I was crazy or delusional from the morphine, but I knew she wasn't stillborn."

I couldn't stop myself from asking her.

"How did you know?"

"I heard her cries."

And suddenly Esme's words came back to me. The first time I saw them change Bella's dressings, I asked if Bella had ever talked about the baby. "When she's coming out of the morphine…she says she hears the cries."

"Bella, why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know if I could believe myself."

Bella's eyes picked up and met mine. The light that I knew so well, the life within her that drew me to her, was being smothered. I wanted to shake her shoulders and revive her. Bella's voice was very small.

"They kept some of the pain at bay with as much morphine as they thought the baby could stand. It didn't do much, it was always there, only the degree of agony varied.

The night I delivered I felt the twinges; the pain wasn't like the burns. It came and went, growing stronger with each passing hour. I knew it was the baby coming. She was coming too soon. The nurses and doctors told me there wasn't anything they could do to stop it. The labor continued. I don't know for how long, but eventually Dr. Varner stood at the edge of my bed to deliver Serena. Lauren was there wiping my face and neck with cool cloths. She kept encouraging me, saying that it wouldn't be much longer. Other nurses that were there lifted my legs to help me push, but the agony from the burns was too much. I tried; I don't know for how long, but eventually Dr. Varner saw that I couldn't manage the pain any longer. He looked up at Lauren and nodded. The nurse beside her reached for a mask and laid it over my face. I thrashed around to get out from under it. Lauren rubbed my arm, saying it was going to be okay. It wasn't okay; I didn't want to be unconscious. I wanted to know if our baby survived. I moved my chest, pretending to breathe in the ether. I held my breath for as long as I could. When I couldn't stand it any longer, I sucked in the gas in ragged breaths. The nurse must have been distracted by the orders from Dr. Varner. She watched the clock and counted my breaths, but she pulled the mask away too soon. I was still. My eyes were shut, but I was faintly aware of what was happening. Dr. Varner barked out more orders to the nurses. I could feel their hands pushing down on my stomach to guide the baby down. There was so much more pain, but eventually they pulled Serena from me."

"I don't know how much time passed, but I heard her Edward. I heard her cry."

I sat there stunned into a silent horror by her account. It was so much worse than I had feared. I couldn't do anything to take the painful memories away, but I could help her now.

"We will find her," I vowed.

Bella's determination became more and more resolved.

"I know we will."

I started the car, and we rolled down the drive and out onto the main road. Harrow was small, and we would reach Lauren's home in only a few minutes.

We stopped at the little row of houses along Grove Hill Road, and I parked the car. I went to get Bella's wheelchair when she grabbed my arm.

"No. I'll walk. I want to look into her eyes."

I nodded and walked around to her side to open her door. We gingerly made our way up the steps, and I banged forcefully on the front door. I heard the quick movement of feet and a shushing sound. Suddenly the lock unlatched, and a woman peered out from a cracked opening behind the door.

"Lauren Mallory?" I asked.

"Yes, I'm Lauren."

Lauren was a younger woman, maybe in her mid thirties. She was dressed in a long green robe. Her hair was still in curlers from the night before. Her right hand clasped around the edge of the door, and a cigarette shook between her fingers. Her voice was small and raspy. Everything about her appearance demonstrated that she was on edge. Her eyes flickered toward Bella standing off to my right side. The recognition was instant, and she dropped her head exhaling in defeat. She opened the door half way and gestured to invite us into her home.

"Come in."

I grabbed Bella under both of her elbows and helped her up the last step and into Lauren's home. Her eyes met Lauren's, and the stare sent a shiver through the woman. Once we were both inside, she motioned for us to follow her into the kitchen.

"Please sit down."

I helped Bella sit in one of the wooden chairs surrounding the little round table. Lauren went to the stove to heat water for tea. The woman was shaking. She went through the pleasantries of making tea solely for the freedom of doing something other than meeting my wife's baneful stare. Eventually she sat down at the table herself and drew in a ragged breath.

"You know why we're here," I said.

Lauren looked down at the cup between her hands.

"Yes, I knew as soon as Jenks told me you were coming."

"Serena's not here," she whispered.

The fury in Bella started to boil. I could tell that it took every ounce of her strength to grip onto the remaining inches left in her composure.

Lauren looked down so that she didn't have to meet our eyes when she spoke.

"Dr. Varner said you wouldn't survive. Your burns were so severe, and it was only a matter of time between the pain and the likelihood of infection. He decided to take the baby back to the U.S. so that it wouldn't grow up alone and orphaned here in London. I told him that I would take her and raise her as my own, but he was adamant. He said he knew a kindhearted couple in the states who couldn't conceive a child of their own. He wanted to bring Serena back to them."

Bella was enraged.

"Why did you tell me she was dead?"

"Dr. Varner said that it was the most compassionate thing to do. He didn't want you to suffer any longer. He said that knowing the child had survived would only make you fight longer and harder against what he said was inevitable. I didn't want to do it. I knew it was wrong, but I owed him."

"You owed him?"

"Yes. The baby you found today at Mill Hill was my son, Eric. He got sick with typhoid fever at only two months. He went quickly. His immune system couldn't fight the disease. When my other two sons became ill, it was Dr. Varner who got them admitted to the hospital so they could be treated before it took them from me too."

Bella screamed in fury at her.

"You abhorred MONSTER! You knew what it was like to lose a child and still you kept her from me. You let me think she was dead, putting me through this agony -.

I caught Bella's arm as she reached back to strike the woman.

Two little voices came from behind the corner in the pantry.

"Mother, are you okay?"

Lauren whispered back toward the pantry.

"I'm fine, babies. It's okay. Go back to playing."

The faces of Lauren's young sons appeared from the shadows. They ran for her side, clinging to her and clutching her robe. Bella dropped her arm from my grasp with horror in her eyes. I wrapped my arms around her and whispered into her hear.

"It's alright. You didn't do anything. They didn't see."

Bella slumped forward; she was probably ashamed of her actions toward Lauren. I held her hand and continued for her when she couldn't.

"Lauren, how do we find Dr. Varner? We will find him eventually, but it will be easier if you help us. You owe Bella at least that much."

Lauren pulled her boys close to her chest as she sat back into the chair. She was probably weighing her loyalty to the doctor against the agony she could see in Bella's face.

"I lay flowers at Eric's grave every week. The only reason there weren't any there today was because I knew you were coming. I didn't want to make you more suspicious but the fear I had that you would take him away was terrifying. I haven't been to work since Jenks told me you were coming."

She paused for a moment to look in Bella's eyes. There was a shared agony between them.

"I know now what my decision has put you through. I'm so sorry for that. I won't be able to make up for the pain I've caused you, but I'll try to help you."

She got up from the table and went toward the bedrooms of her little house. The boys were her constant shadows, never loosening the grip on her robe. Their eyes were still wide with fear and concern for their mother. The oldest was about six while the younger one was about four. When Lauren returned, she had a piece of paper in her hands.

"This is from Dr. Varner. It's his home address in Indiana. He said for me to contact him if I ever needed his help."

She looked up in pleading into Bella's eyes.

"I know it seems impossible to believe, but he had good intentions that night. He was trying to do the best for you and for the child. He's a good doctor. I just wish I would have had the strength to try to see things through your eyes. My own memories should have been enough to guide me to do the right thing, but they weren't. I'm so sorry."

She reached forward to touch Bella's hand, but Bella refused her. She struggled to stand on her own. I got up quickly to support her. Bella nodded toward the door, clutching the paper with Varner's address in her hand. She turned back to Lauren. Her expression showed her struggle between the anger, sadness and compassion that she felt toward the woman. In the end, her eyes welled with tears as she spoke.

"Lauren, I know you thought you were doing the right thing. Thank you for helping me to deliver Serena safely and for all you did to keep me alive so that I have a chance to find her again."

The words were as generous as Bella could offer her at that moment.

oo!OO!oo

I stared at the road through my glassy vision as we made our way back to the hotel. The morning started with my concerns for Bella and the devastation of holding our dead daughter in our arms. Now I could only feel stunned to know that she was alive and somewhere in the U.S. New images filled my head; a pink baby with brown curls and deep chocolate eyes like Bella's. She would be nearly four months old by now. I wondered if the future held a chance for us to raise her and see her grow. Bella rubbed her fingers over the address in her hands. She was staring at it intently, memorizing the address and probably envisioning the joy of holding Serena. Finding her would become a mission we would accomplish together.

When we got to the hotel, I was already planning the next steps. We would need to get some food and ice down Bella's legs. I guessed that they were swollen again from our trip today. Once we cleaned up and ate, we would make the drive back to back to Stoneleigh Park. Carlisle would check her out and we'd make plans to go back to the U.S. I'd contact Colonel Swan to find out more about Dr. Varner and confirm that he still lived in Indiana. We'd have to be careful not to alert him to our search. I didn't want him running…

My thoughts halted as we reached the door of our hotel room. I grabbed the key from my pocket and unlocked the door. I pushed Bella into the room and flipped on the light. I saw her mantilla slide off of her lap. I turned to shut the door behind us and toss the key onto the desk. As I turned back to Bella, I saw her lifting a page out of a brown letter envelope. I was moving toward her to retrieve her veil when I saw the expression change on her face. She went white, and her eyes pulled back in fear.

"EDWARD!" she gasped.

I ran to her side and realized from the header that it was a warning from ETOUSA.

"Can you carry me down two flights and out to the car?"

"Yes."

"Grab the bag."

The training that had been engrained in us taught us to keep everything we held valuable in a single bag. Everything else could be replaced or wouldn't give away our position. I raced to sling the bag over my arm and grabbed Bella from her wheelchair. The quickest exit was the stairwell at the end of the hall. I didn't know the threat, but I assumed that if Colonel Swan found us in the hotel, someone else could find us too.

I swung Bella up into my tight grasp and took a step back toward the door. I was frozen in place by three loud bangs against the door. My heart pounded in my chest, and I looked around for a place to put Bella to give her some cover. I dumped her into the tub in the bathroom. Her eyes were wide with fury.

"No."

"Stay here."

She was already rummaging through the bag to find her service arm as I made my way back toward the door. The banging came a second time. I peered through the keyhole and a collapse of air rushed through my chest.

I put the pistol back into its holder and yanked the door open. Jasper stood there breathlessly. He was not calm. He stepped into the room as I closed the door behind him.

"Are you both okay?"

"Yes."

"Grab her and go down the west stairwell. Seth is waiting in Colonel Swan's car. I'll take two minutes to sweep the room, and I'll follow you out."

"Two minutes," I said emphatically.

I ran back to the bathroom and grabbed Bella and the bag. She was relieved to find Jasper but didn't have a chance to speak. I was already out the door half running toward the stairwell. I ambled down the two flights of stairs grasping Bella in my arms. She held her pistol in her hand hidden by her white veil. I stood her on her feet as we reached the outer door. I grabbed for my service arm.

"Stay here. Colonel Swan's car is supposed to be right outside."

Bella stood still but leaned forward to cover me. I cracked the door and heard the running engine just a few feet away. The car was a military vehicle. I lunged back and swooped Bella into my arms. I opened the door and shoved her, a little less gently than I should have, into the back seat. I tossed the bag onto the floor and ran around to the far side. I watched the door, intently looking for Jasper and gasping to catch my own breath. Jasper banged through the door behind us just thirty seconds later. He carried Bella's wheelchair and another bag over his shoulder. The trunk was open and Jasper piled them both in and slammed it shut. He threw himself into the front seat as Seth hit the gas.

A moment later, I caught my breath enough to speak.

"What the hell is going on?"

Bella answered for him.

"There's been a leak."

"Yes." Jasper nodded. "You two were the only ones left out there in the open. Colonel Swan sent me to get you yesterday at Stoneleigh Park. I missed you, and by the time I contacted him for additional instructions, it was late in the day. He ordered me not to drive back to London in the dark."

"I'm glad to see he learned something from the last air raid," I commented morosely as I glanced down at Bella's braced legs.

"He contacted the hotel that you said you were staying at with Bella. He didn't go after you himself because you weren't staying under your real names."

"We decided it was best to use aliases after we hit the security checkpoint outside of Blakelands."

"It wasn't hard to find you. I just asked for the American soldier whose wife was in a wheelchair. They immediately gave me your room number. You have no cover. It would be easy for anyone who was looking to find you."

"Who's looking?" I asked.

"Someone close. Colonel Swan said they had an old list of operatives, but the paperwork came from his office. Whoever it is, they're close enough to know you and to know you're both still alive."

"Where are we going?" Bella asked.

"Colonel Swan's quarters."

The Last Breath Historical Research and Reference Guide:

Chapter 14 Monster

Story reference: Bella describes trying to stay awake by not breathing in the ether during Serena's delivery.

Historical Significance: Ether was the medication used for anesthesia in WWII. It was part of the medical equipment given to each hospital and station.

Source: -dept(dot)com/hospContents(dot)php

Story reference: Edward and Bella travel to 103 Hill Grove in Harrow, UK

Historical Significance: In chapter 13 I listed the address as Grove Hill. The location of Laren's 'fictional home' is actually 103 Hill Grove, Harrow.

Source: http:/maps./maps?hl=en&q=&ie=UTF8&hq=&hnear=103+Grove+Hill,+Harrow,+Greater+London+HA1+3,+UK&gl=us&ei=o1pTTJGhIsP-8Aan9PCoAQ&ved=0CBMQ8gEwAA&cd=2&split=0&vps=1&jsv=260d&sll=51.578099,-0.334027&sspn=0.006641,0.01929&geocode=Fbi8EgMd-Nj6_w

A/N: What do you think; too much of a right turn at the end of this chapter? I tried to give everyone a bit of warning about this during the trip from the 8th to the Grimms Dyke.

Did the confrontation with Lauren turn out as you had expected?

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think.

- First Blush