Title: What Dreams May Come
Summary: Bella and Edward settle happily into married life at Dartmouth but Bella's dreams of a mysterious child persist, drawing them into a centuries old deception with devastating consequences. A Breaking Dawn AU.
Rating: M
Disclaimer: Twilight and all related places and characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.
A/N: Another week, another chapter for you all! Thank you to all the reviewers new and old whose comments brighten my day like nothing else. When my muse seems to be stuck, you all seem to be able to kick it into gear again.
Quote: We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures – Thornton Wilder
Chapter 13: Thankful
I bit my lip, anxiety bubbling up in my stomach. I wanted to look up but kept my eyes firmly fixed on my lap, hands clenched around the strap of my satchel. I knew Edward was waiting just on the other side of the frosted glass door yet that knowledge was barely enough to sooth my jangled nerves.
Across the wide expanse of teak desk before me, Professor Sinclair ended his phone call and acknowledged me with a warm smile, his graying hair falling over his intelligent brown eyes.
"I'm sorry about that Bella. Now, I suppose you are wondering why I called you in here."
I nodded nervously, not trusting my voice to hold up. When he'd pulled me aside at the end of class yesterday and asked me to come speak with him, my mind had immediately conjured up every bad scenario, most revolving around him informing me my grade was not up to scratch. Edward had reassured me that wasn't the case, but I still had lingering doubts.
"It's about the last assignment, your essay analyzing and comparing the composition of Austen's novels?"
Here it comes; it was awful, you need to redo it, what do you think you're doing…
"…absolutely brilliant."
Huh?
My surprise must've been easily evident on my face because the Professor chuckled.
"I usually don't have the time to personally talk to my students about their grade, but your essay was so well written and researched that I felt the need to tell you in person. I do hope you're planning on majoring in English after this first semester, it would be a shame if you didn't."
I shifted uncomfortably in the seat, the glowing assessment of my academic achievements making my face burn red hot.
"Um, thank you?"
It came out more like a question and I cleared my throat, trying to regain my composure.
"And yes, I do plan on majoring in English."
Well, it wasn't exactly a lie. I did plan on being an English major, just with a few years break in between while I was a bloodthirsty newborn. Strangely, I felt a pang of regret at the thought. I was enjoying all my classes and with this confirmation that I wasn't an awful student, a part of me wished that I really would be continuing on to finish out college here at Dartmouth.
"Well, I'm glad to hear that Bella," Professor Sinclair smiled, handing my paper back to me, "You seem to have a real talent for identifying literary devices and your expository writing skills are amongst the best of the freshman class."
The pang shot through me again but I covered it with a grateful smile, ducking my head to hide both my blush and the hint of sadness in my eyes that I was unable to hide.
I must not have been quick enough though, for Professor Sinclair asked me gently,
"Bella, are you alright?"
"I'm fine," I replied automatically, nodding my head for emphasis, "I just…don't deal well with compliments as my husband can attest to," I finished with a weak smile.
He did not look convinced, but let it go, his warm smile reappearing.
"Alright, that was all I needed to talk to you for. Have a Happy Thanksgiving."
I rose quickly from the chair, stuffing the paper into my satchel.
"You too, thank you Professor."
I blushed again as I caught my foot on the chair on the way out, stumbling slightly before I escaped into the hallway to see Edward leaning against the wall. For a moment, I could have sworn his face was covered in an expression of concern but as soon as he saw me it transformed into one of his dazzling crooked smiles.
"Didn't I tell you it wasn't anything bad?" he commented smugly, wrapping an arm around my shoulder as we headed down the corridor.
"Yes," I admitted with a sigh, "And I should've listened to you, I know. I just…"
"Don't see yourself clearly," he finished, placing a light kiss against my temple, "You're brilliant love, I wish you'd believe that."
"If you keep reminding me like you do, I'm sure it might sink in sometime," I teased then changed the subject before he took that as an open invitation to lavish praise on me, "So, are we still leaving tonight?"
"Yes, the flight leaves at 11."
We reached the outer door, Edward pulling it open to usher me through into the fading hours of the afternoon, the late November air tinged with a bitter chill. The last month here at Dartmouth had been uneventful, just assignments, classes and playing Alice-lite to Keely's pseudo-Bella, helping her flick through wedding magazines and the like. I had been seriously tempted to call the real deal in to help Keely, but she wanted my help, so my help she had gotten. To be truthful, I actually wanted to help. The tentative time frame Keely and Cam had set for the wedding was about three months after my planned change, so attendance would be out of the question. I figured if I was unable to be there on the day for my friend, the least I could do is help organize it, no matter how much I cringed in the face of table settings and flower arrangements.
My dreams of Gabriel were also ever-present but with no new pertinent information contained within, only variations of the stone cell and mysterious captors. I was hoping that being able to discuss it with our family face-to-face might help, hence the reason we were heading to Forks for Thanksgiving a day earlier than originally planned.
"Great, an afternoon of packing to look forward too," I groaned as we walked across a campus filled with the happy buzz of students anxious for the holiday weekend to begin.
Edward chuckled, lightly hugging me to his side as he suggestively whispered into my ear, "Oh, I think I could make it worth your while Mrs Cullen."
I shivered as he winked at me. An afternoon of packing was looking up already.
"You're sure he's human?"
"Positive."
Carlisle rubbed his chin thoughtfully, eyes focused on the page before him. Around us, the rest of the family sat quietly, an assortment of books laid out around the living room. Edward and I had only arrived back in Forks that morning, but Esme and Alice had insisted we discuss Gabriel today so we could celebrate a normal Thanksgiving tomorrow. Of course, there would be nothing normal about a Thanksgiving dinner only one member of the family would actually eat, but as I had come to realize, the observance of holidays and the like made them feel more human.
"I have to admit Bella, that we have found little information that would seem relevant. None of our contacts or research has turned up anything about a mortal who apparently can live forever as we do and I am…reluctant, to ask the Volturi directly given our last contact with them was barely cordial."
I felt Edward tense slightly beside me at the mention of our brief encounter with a number of the guard a few months ago and I gently squeezed his hand, enough so that he looked down at me with a small, reassuring smile.
"I understand Carlisle and I just wanted to say thank you, to all of you, for looking into this and not thinking I've lost my mind."
"How many times must we tell you dear, you're family now and we'll do whatever it takes to look after you," Esme scolded gently, her amber eyes twinkling.
"Besides, we thought you lost your mind ages ago when you fell in love with that sullen lump right there," Emmett added, jerking his thumb towards Edward who rewarded him with a dark scowl.
"We'll keep looking Bella," Jasper promised, forestalling the inevitable fight between the two brothers with a wave of calming emotion.
"In the meantime, you're going to be late to meet Charlie and I still have to pick the perfect outfit for you," Alice added with a calculating look in her eye.
Charlie had volunteered to work tomorrow to cover the holiday shift for those officers who wanted to spend it with their families, so I would be having an early Thanksgiving dinner with him tonight while the other Cullen's had theirs, in a manner of speaking.
"You might want to hide, Bella, she's missed her human Barbie," Rosalie smirked as I was unable to keep from groaning.
Alice ignored her sister, clapping her hands and springing up from her position on Jasper's lap to grab my arm.
"Come on Bella, no time to waste!"
"Save me," I whispered to Edward, who merely shook his head amusedly and relinquished his grip on my hand so Alice could drag me upright.
"Have fun," he smirked and I sent him my best glare.
"Traitor," I hissed softly, much to Rosalie's amusement as I found myself being pulled up the stairs.
Before I could utter another word in protest, I found myself in Alice's room with the pixie in question rummaging around her closet with glee.
"Alice, it's just dinner with Charlie, not the president," I said impatiently after ten minutes of her holding out various items of clothing then discarding them with barely a second glance.
"Bella," she replied, tinkling laughter echoing from the closet, "I haven't been able to dress you for two months, let me have my fun."
Twenty minutes of unwanted primping later I found myself sitting in the passenger seat of Emmett's jeep tugging awkwardly at the jacket Alice had put me in, Edward having borrowed the jeep to drop it and me off at my…at Charlie's house.
"Are you sure you'll be alright to drive this back to the house?" Edward asked dubiously as we pulled into the driveway behind the cruiser, "I can always make sure I come back in time to pick you up later."
Waiting in the seat for him to climb out and open the door (I had no problem doing it myself, but he got a little annoyed when I didn't let him exercise his chivalric tendencies), I rolled my eyes.
"I'll be fine Edward. Go, have fun. Kill a mountain lion for me."
He chuckled as he lowered me to the ground before stealing a kiss from my lips that left me leaning breathless against the jeep and just the slightest bit dazed.
"I changed my mind, come back as soon as possible," I breathed out.
He nuzzled my neck with his cool nose, placing a light kiss against my pulse with another cocky chuckle.
"I'll see you tomorrow love," he whispered, disappearing into the rapidly fading light before I could gather enough wits about me to say anything else. Stupid, dazzling, vampiric husband. It was like being back in Forks had wound back the clock to me being all in awe and him being in control…I'd have to remedy that later.
Lost in thoughts of ways to make Edward lose control, I missed the crunch of gravel until Charlie's voice came from right in front of me.
"Hey Bells, I thought I heard you."
Pushing all thoughts of revenge to the side for the moment, I wrapped my arms around him in a hug.
"Hey Dad," I greeted him enthusiastically, surprised by how happy I was to see him again. I suppose it was a testament to how close we'd gotten that I missed him more after two months than I used to after an entire year, "Something smells good."
I wasn't kidding, there was an aroma of a well-cooked meal wafting out the front door, making me slightly suspicious since the last time I had seen Charlie his cooking skills were limited to microwaveable mac and cheese.
"Yeah, how does turkey with roast vegetables sound?"
He led me inside, looking slightly apprehensive as we approached the kitchen table. He gotten out the best plates he owned and there was a bunch of wildflowers sitting in a small ceramic vase in the middle of the table.
"Like heaven, but who are you and what have you done with my cooking-phobic father?" I teased, sliding into a seat as he retrieved two plates from the oven filled with slices of turkey, potatoes, carrots and pumpkin. It didn't take a genius to recognize that he'd obviously had help.
"He wanted to give you a good meal," he replied, sitting in the chair opposite with the nervousness still clear on his face till I bit into the turkey and smiled in approval. We ate in between comfortable chatter, Charlie asking me questions about my first weeks at Dartmouth. I found myself sharing more than I had anticipated, the proud look in his eye when I told him about my grades spreading a light flush on my cheeks.
When the last of the food was cleared away, we moved into the lounge room and silence descended. I could tell Charlie had something he wanted to share by the way he kept glancing up at me but obviously didn't know where to start.
"So who do I have to thank for getting you to cook a decent meal?" I asked lightly to break the tension but was puzzled when he started and seemed even more nervous than before.
"Uh, Sue, Sue Clearwater actually," he replied softly with a strange glint in his eye and I blinked in surprise. I knew he'd been good friends with Henry Clearwater before his passing, but I hadn't known that he'd been close enough to Sue to ask for her help.
I opened my mouth to tell him to thank her for me when I fully registered his fidgeting hands, hunched posture and nervous smile. Realization dawned and my mouth was left slack-jawed for a moment before I sucked in a deep breath. I had long come to expect that my father would never move on from my mother, so to realize that was not the case was slightly disturbing but I would not begrudge him any happiness. I had been worried that when I would inevitably disappear from his life that he wouldn't have anyone to lean on, so it actually gave me a small measure of relief to know otherwise. Though, I was going to have a word with Seth for not saying anything during his weekly calls to Edward.
"That's…I'm happy for you Dad," I replied with a gentle grin and he relaxed in his chair.
"Thanks Bells," he said, voice rough with emotion and in that moment I realized too, how much my approval meant to him, "Think you're up for sitting through a football match with your old man?"
"I think I could survive it just this once," I grinned and settled into a night of watching men in tights and helmets run up and down a field, content that Charlie would be just fine, no matter what the future held.
I gritted my teeth against the pain coursing through my nerves, determined not to give the reaction I knew they were hoping for. The dank walls of my cell seemed to close in around me, darkness blurring the edges of my vision. I had believed I had lived through all of the torments my captors could devise but this one was new, unknown and close to unbearable.
I tried to hold on to memories to distract myself, to cling to the few moments of remembered happiness which I played over and over again in my mind in an unbroken circle yet the agony was too great. I began to feel every one of my centuries pressing down upon my chest, the fragile heart within seized in this tormentor's grasp. I wanted to cry, to scream, to beg, to ask them for the thousandth time why they did this to me, why they killed my protector, why they hated yet in some way revered my living flesh.
Instead I clung hard to the encroaching darkness and let it carry me away to a place where nothing or no-one could touch my ever-crumbling soul.
I blinked in the bright sunlight, momentarily disorientated as my brain was caught between the remembered agony of another and the cool comfort of the body which lay beneath mine.
"Morning love," Edward whispered softly as I shifted on his chest, full awareness sweeping through me as I looked up into my husband's gorgeous features.
"Hey," I whispered back as he brushed my hair away from my face in concern.
"Another dream?" he murmured perceptively and I nodded slowly, guilt sweeping through me. Even though everyone was searching hard for any information, I always felt that I wasn't doing enough, that I should be focusing solely on finding Gabriel to the exclusion of anything else. I knew that wasn't practical, but my emotions never were.
"We will find something Bella," Edward reassured me yet again and I pressed a kiss to his throat in gratitude.
"When did you get back?" I questioned, unable to remember him joining me in bed. After leaving Charlie, I'd driven back here and buried myself in some of Carlisle's books on vampire lore before finally succumbing to the sleep pulling at my eyelids.
"About two hours ago. You looked so peaceful that I didn't want to disturb you but it was either joining you in bed or being roped into helping cook your Thanksgiving lunch and this was definitely the better of the two options."
I smirked, running my fingers down his chest.
"I bet it was."
Hoping for the chance to put my thoughts of revenge from yesterday into action, I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed as he gently put a halt to my fingers' exploration and drew me gently upright so I was sitting in his lap with his eyes locked on mine.
"Bella, there's something I want to talk to you about."
The seriousness of his gaze made me bite my lip and I nodded at him to continue.
"I want you to be truthful with me…" he trailed off as if unsure how to proceed before softly cupping my chin in his hand, "You wish you could finish your degree at Dartmouth, don't you?"
Shock at his perceptiveness flitted across my face. I wanted to deny it flat out, but ever since Professor Sinclair had talked to me a few days ago it had been tugging at my thoughts more and more. That's probably how he knew anyway as I remembered the look on his face when I'd first exited the office. He would have been able to see my reaction through the Professor's mind. However, as much as the thought of staying human for four more years till I graduated had become more tempting, I still had my heart set on staying a teen forever.
"I won't deny that I'm enjoying my classes, and that I would like to be able to graduate with my parents and friends watching on," I started slowly before placing my hand over his quiet heart, "But I don't want to put off becoming like you for too long, I don't want to look five years older than you."
"What if you could do both?" he asked, eyes never straying from my face as he gauged my reaction.
"How?" I questioned, unable to see how that could be possible. From everything I knew about newborn vampires, it would be at the very least a year or two before I could be around humans safely.
"Dartmouth only requires you to attend classes on campus for the first three semesters of freshman year and the first three of senior year. In between then, you can organize to study overseas, undertake a research project or something else off-campus to fill in the academic requirements of your degree. That would give you just over two years to adjust to being one of us, then you could go back and graduate with the rest of our class."
I turned his words over in my head, excitement filling up my veins as I realized it could work. It meant I would have to wait till next summer to be changed, but I'd still be 19. What was a few more months compared to what I would gain? I'd even be able to attend Keely and Cam's wedding and it gave me more time to figure out a way to help Gabriel before I no longer slept and received those dreams.
"Bella?" Edward prompted softly, concerned at my lack of response before I flung my arms around his neck in gratitude.
"I think that sounds perfect, thank you," I whispered into his neck, more thankful than ever that this amazing man was mine for all eternity.
"I didn't do anything," he protested with a smile.
"It's Thanksgiving, I can thank you all I like," I said somewhat childishly, burying my head into the curve of his neck.
"Aw, group hug!"
I suddenly squealed as large granite-hard arms picked me up from behind in a bear hug, swinging me around to see Rosalie standing bemused in the doorway.
"Emmett, put me down!" I laughed as he set my feet onto the floor, Edward's hand coming across to steady me.
"Haven't you heard of knocking?" he grumbled good-naturedly as Emmett decided to wrap his arms around Rosalie instead.
"Where's the fun in that?" she shot back at him and I blinked in surprise as she winked at me, "Esme wants you downstairs in half an hour."
"And we've got permission to come and get you if you're not, so no breaking any furniture," Emmett teased, wagging his finger at us as if he was scolding a naughty child before Rosalie dragged him away from the door.
"I'm beginning to wonder why we even decided we needed to come back and visit in the first place," Edward groaned, and I laughed, patting him consolably on the arm.
"Because you love us!" came Alice's voice from down the hall followed closely by Jasper's, "Because you know Esme and Alice would hunt you down otherwise!"
"Jazz!" I heard Alice call out, before Edward shut our bedroom door with a click.
"Happy Thanksgiving love," he sighed as I giggled softly. Despite the craziness at times, I couldn't imagine being a part of any other family.