Whatever

Chapter 14 : Bad Habits & Guilt

Rin was discharged from the hospital that evening at seven. She looked a little better but Kagome was taking a mighty lecture from the head doctor. Rin watched in silence while holding Rue tight to her chest. The three month old began to giggle lightly while grabbing a lock of Rin's hair. Rin touched her black waves with her soft fingertips before kissing the baby's forehead. Kikyou walked over to Rin with a small smile on her face,

"Rin, I hope I can trust that you're going to stop and become the good mother I know you can be" She said softly as Rin.

"I'm going to try...because I know Rue deserves better" Rin said more to herself than to Kikyou. 'I am so sorry Rue, I've been horrible but I don't know where I should start?' she thought,.

"I hope she cleans up her act as well" the dark voice came from behind Rin. Naraku walked up practically snatching the baby from her arms.

"Come to Daddy" he smiled bringing the baby up to his face.

"I haven't seen this little bundle since....well never" he joked Rue reached for his nose and he made a face at her.

"Give her to me Naraku" Rin yelled, the whole hallway stopped to watch.

"Is it wrong for a father to want to hold his daughter for the first time" Naraku said. Rue giggled uncontrollably as he grabbed her hand.

"Give me Rue" Rin said repeating her desire in different words.

"I've all ready given you that, haven't I?" he whispered in her ear as he placed the baby in her arms. Rin was silent to his words, after all what could she do in front of everybody. She did after all name her daughter after the very word that meant regret.

"Naraku leave now" Kikyou spoke out loudly, her eyes were fierce.

"Shut up Kikyou, you're lucky that I don't smack you right here" he snarled at her.

"You are the scum of the earth" Kikyou said, 'Kikyou stop, just don't make him angry' Rin thought as she watched Naraku walk away. Kagome walked towards the trio. She saw Naraku's retreating back.

"Rin are you alright?" Kagome asked looking over Rin's shoulder. Rue was reaching that way her little arms spread. 'Innocence is a curse, Rue. It truly is' Rin thought as Rue reached for the father who was so cruel. Rue's glimmering red eyes began to fill with tears as she let out a whine of annoyance. Rue began to full out cry Rin bounced her lightly in her arms trying to calm the distressed child.

"Shh" Rin muttered as the baby cried. 'Damn it, why do you want him so bad? Why are crying for him? Stop it isn't worth it.' Rin's thoughts blurred her actions for a moment as she almost dropped the crying bundle. Kikyou cradled her between their bodies.

"Rin don't let him get to you. I know its hard but don't let him get to you. All Rue knows is that Naraku is her father every child that is born knows its father when they come in contact with them. Its in her blood." Kikyou told her.

'That's right his blood runs through her veins as well as mine. She is his daughter, she is his baby, his....she is his...' Rin thought. Rin held the baby for a second and then handed her off to Kagome who held the child.

"Rin, if anything like this happens again. The doctor is going to report me to child services. Don't forget that I am your guardian and that I'm responsible for you and Rue" Kagome said, she was feeling the stress of a mother already.

"I'm leaving, I'll be back in the morning" Rin said walking away from everyone. Rin walked to Kouga's house where they agreed to meet earlier in the day. Rin looked at him from a distance as she walked over to him.

"Hey, heard you fainted at school?" He stated it was more a question of truth. Rin nodded he grabbed her hand and pulled her to him as his lips bent to hers. Rin opened her eyes and saw through her peripheral vision the crimson eyes of Naraku.

"Wait stop!" she said loudly looking to the side where she realized there was no one there.

"There's no one around, do you want to go to my room or the car or yours?" Rin looked at him. A plan that seemed ok at first forming in her head.

"Lets go to mine, its about time that you met, Rue" Rin said to him.

"Alright, I guess" Kouga said scratching the back of his head, gold eyes watched the scene unfold as Rin climbed into his car. They watched as Kouga's arm was stretched to the passenger's seat, where Rin soon began biting her lip. The car soon left their view.

Kouga pulled into the driveway of the Higurashi shrine. He and Rin made there way into the house. Everyone was there Kagome, Kikyou, Inuyasha, Rue, and even Sesshoumaru.

"You guys know Kouga, and Kouga knows you guys" Rin said.

"Rin can I talk to you?" Sesshoumaru asked his voice was empty of any emotion as it had always been. Rin would never get used to this tone being used when regarding her. She couldn't even hide the slight flinch as he said her name.

"Its ok, Rin. I'll call you later" Kouga said walking out of the front door.

"Talk" Rin said to Sesshoumaru her eyes hardened.

"Upstairs in your room" he said.

"Why would I take you up to my room?" Rin asked him.

"Why would you take him to your room, all I want to do is talk privately." he told her with a bit of edge.

"Fine" Rin said walking up the stairs with him right behind her.

Rin walked into her room remembering how a short time ago this room was a bright blue, now it was black walls her sheets were leopard print. Everything was different complete opposite of what it used to be.

"Rin, when are you going to tell me what really happened?" Rin looked at him as he asked the question she knew she wasn't going to answer.

"It doesn't matter now does it. We aren't together You left me, I didn't leave you." Rin said in a mocking tone.

"The only thing that I know is that you opened your legs for my half-brother...that is the only thing that fits and makes sense with this whole story" Rin's eyes watered as the words left his lips.

"I...well obviously I thought you knew me...but you don't and your never did" Rin yelled at him.

"You won't give me anything else to believe" Sesshoumaru told her.

"It doesn't matter does it. I mean think about it I've already been ruined, I'm a teenage mother and whore. I've been branded by the best" Rin cried she looked up to see tears in Sesshoumaru's eyes, he grabbed her and pulled her into his embrace she cried.

"I don't care what anyone calls you. Just tell me what really happened and I'll believe anything you say. Rin you know....you know that I'm in love with you" Sesshoumaru said tears fell from his molten eyes hitting Rin.

"I'm sorry...I can't tell you" Rin said. 'I can't tell you, because I know you'll do something stupid and this heavy feeling in my heart is guilt for what I've put everyone who cares for me through' Rin thought.