The previous Tuesday afternoon, Emma had texted Killian for the first time with what she got on the math quiz. Killian kept to his word and hadn't talked to Emma since their study group, but that didn't mean he wouldn't check his phone religiously to see if she texted him.

When he checked, again, after a particularly bad swim practice and still heard nothing, he decided to take things into his own hands, ignoring everything Walsh had said to him Sunday night.

Did you get your most recent quiz back?

He put his phone in his back pocket and walked out of the locker room with Phillip, but immediately ignored his friend and his friend's girlfriend when he felt a buzz. He quickly snapped out the phone to see a one-word response.

Yes.

He studied the text, trying to decipher it. Was it a good yes? A bad one? Is she ignoring him because of his poor behavior from the other night? Millions of thoughts ran through his head until he felt like there was another whole person occupying his brain. Dismissing everything in his mind, he typed out his reply.

And…?

But Emma didn't respond right away. And she didn't respond after he drove to the Community Center. And she didn't respond after his swim class.

Yep. She was clearly avoiding him.

I apologize I wasn't able to help more on Sunday night.
I feel absolutely awful. I hope the quiz still went okay.

He drove home, going crazy with thoughts about the other night and how he left things with Emma. She needed help with math, and all he did was fight with her boyfriend. That was not a very gentlemanly thing to do.

It was only when he was changed and starting to write his history paper that he got a response.

It didn't. I got 5/10.

Killian felt worse than ever. They had been making progress, and she was on the right track to getting back in Mr. Spencer's class by next trimester. He swallowed as he thought of her what her face must have looked like when she got the test back: disappointment, anger, failure… The list would go on and on.

I'm sorry to hear that. We'll just have to work harder
this week. I know you can do it.

Killian had assumed that would be the end of the conversation, setting his phone aside and beginning his paper. When his phone buzzed, he furrowed his brows in confusion and picked it up.

The conversation was far from over.

Don't worry about it. I'm used to it.

Well, by the end of the semester, you won't be. I refuse
to let you fail another one of your math tests.

I don't like people pitying me.

I'm not pitying you. I'm merely stating how it was my
fault for this minor setback, and I refuse to let it happen
to you again.

That's not something you can promise…

Oh, but it is, and I have.

Why?

Why what?

Why are you so determined to help me?

Killian had to take a break for a moment. He obviously was not going to go into some deep message about his feelings for her, but he also wanted to show her that he thought she was special. He needed to think of the exact right words, and he wished it hadn't taken him as long as it had to find them.

Because for some reason, you see yourself as a goose,
even though I know you're a swan.

It was cheesy, and he knew it when he pressed the send button, but Killian didn't care about that. All he cared about was that Emma was upset, and he wanted to do anything he could make her smile.

Her response was small, but it was progress, and that was all he had hoped for.

Is 2:45 in Mr. Spencer's classroom still okay?

She may not have acknowledged his statement, but setting a date for their next tutoring session meant she hadn't given up on him as her tutor. He made sure to reply as fast as his hands could type.

Absolutely. I'll see you then, Swan.

Because for some reason, you see yourself as a goose,
even though I know you're a swan.

It was so sweet, so meaningful. So… philosophical, which made sense. He was the smartest 17-year-old she knew, of course he'd have a way with the words. She had no idea what an eloquent response would be, so she lamely replied with a date and time for their next tutoring session.

He was right. She did see herself as a goose – always has and always will. Her parents gave her up as a baby. They're the people who are supposed to love you most, and they didn't even want her. Then, there were the Swans, who took her in for three whole years before returning her. She was always bouncing around from place to place after that, until somehow being paired with Marian and Robin. Even with their kindness and support, she never felt like enough for someone to want her to stay. She was a goose. Who wants a goose when there are swans out there?

And now there's Killian, saying she's a swan.

Why did he have to be so damn sweet? Most boys would have dropped it after she said that she's used to it. Hell, most people would have changed the subject or ignored what she said. But, as Emma scrolled up through their text conversation, she saw how he wouldn't let it go.

She saw how he couldn't let it go.

Emma put her phone to sleep and rolled to her side, tucking one hand under her pillow and curling herself up into a little ball upon her bed. She didn't know what to do. It had only been a couple weeks that she's known the guy and her whole life has been changed.

She had been happy before. She liked her life. She had great friends, a stable home, a boyfriend that she loved…

No. A boyfriend that she loves.

Why did thinking of Killian always do that to her? She'd either push Walsh into the back of her mind or not even remember her boyfriend's name, or she'd use terms of endearment in past tense. It shouldn't be like that.

Emma slowed her breathing by taking deep breaths, ignoring the squeezing pain in her chest.

She sat up and walked over to her computer, opening it and clicking the Skype icon. Emma then made a call to Walsh, needing to remind herself why she loves him so much. Walsh didn't answer the first time she called, or the second. It was the third time in a row that his face came to view on her screen. She let out the breath she was apparently holding and gave him an appreciative smile.

"Hey, Em. Everything okay?"

"No."

"Want to talk about it?"

"No."

Just like she predicted, he dropped it instead of pushing on, like Killian had. "Then, what are you calling about?"

"I missed you today," she admitted. "I miss you in general. I've been so caught up in my life that I've put everything else above you, and I just needed to see you."

Emma watched as Walsh gave her a big, genuine smile. He looked relieved, and Emma couldn't help but feel guilty that she had made him so stressed – even if it had been his stupidity. "I miss you, too."

The couple talked about life for a good hour and a half, catching up on what each other have been up to (and not-so-subtly ignoring any topic relating to her tutor). He only stopped talking when Emma took a big yawn. "You need to go to bed," he teased, and Emma laughed.

"Do not."

Walsh didn't buy it. He grinned and said, "I can see the bags under your eyes, babe. You need to sleep."

Emma frowned at his words. She knew as soon as she hung up, her mind would go back to thinking about Killian, and that was the last thing she wanted to do that the moment. "I'll just go get some caffeine and we can talk more."

Walsh cocked his head but nodded in agreement. He leaned back in his chair and started texting on the phone while Emma walked all through the house until she got to the refrigerator. Upon investigation, she realized there was no pops in there that would wake her up, and she refused to drink coffee. She sighed as she turned back around to go upstairs.

When she sat down, she shook her head. "Sorry, Walsh. There's nothing here."

"Well then, babe? You need to go to sleep. I'll see you tomorrow. Love you."

"Love you, too."

Walsh gave a last wave before signing off, and Emma just sat in her chair, not knowing what to do.

She felt dirty saying the words to him, for more than one reason. She knew they were true, and Walsh probably did, too, but they felt wrong coming out of her mouth. With the odd feelings Killian was giving her, she felt like she was lying to Walsh, almost as if she was cheating on him. It was a wretched feeling, and one that was becoming harder and harder to shake off.

Emma stood up and started pacing the room. She was in the same predicament she'd been in for weeks now, and she didn't know what to do. She felt like her life was spiraling out of control, and she didn't have anything to hold on to to stop it.

Emma went over to her dresser and changed into pajamas and turned off the lights. She walked over to her bed and slid under the covers, shutting her eyes tight and hoping all of the drama would go away when she awoke the next morning.

She knew it wouldn't, but she still hoped.

"Did I do it right?" Emma asked, biting her bottom lip as a mischievous smile crept upon her face. "I practiced so we could finish early."

"Oh, yeah?" Killian replied. "And what did you have planned once we finished?"

Killian and Emma were sitting in Mr. Spencer's room. One minute, Killian had been leaning behind her, telling her about irrational numbers, and the next minute, they were face to face. "You tell me."

Emma leaned forward before gently pressing her lips upon his. She slowly leaned back to see his reaction, and apparently was pleased with what she saw. A fire started burning in Killian's stomach at the light kiss, but it was enough to encourage him to lean forward and take her lips in his again.

Killian drew his tongue across Emma's bottom lip, as if asking for entrance to her mouth, which she granted instantaneously. Just as he lifted his left hand to cup her face and pull her closer, a loud banging interrupted them.

Killian turned around to see Walsh standing in the doorway. "What the hell are you doing to my girlfriend?" he asked, storming in and pulling Killian off of Emma. Walsh pushed him up against the wall, his eyebrows leaning down in anger.

"I… It was…" Killian started, but before he could finish what he said, Walsh drew a fist back. Killian squeezed his eyes shut as he waited for the punch, but the blow never came.

Killian jumped awake in his bed, sitting up and looking around at his surroundings. He wasn't in Mr. Spencer's classroom at all – instead in his darkened bedroom. He looked at his clock and saw that he was up about a half hour before he needed to be, but knew it was pointless to attempt to go back to sleep.

Well, it seems like he'd be dependent on coffee today. But that shouldn't be new. His busy schedule has really messed with his sleep patterns, and he'd taken up the hot drink to get him through the day.

Killian rubbed his eyes, thinking of his dream and trying to figure out what it meant. It started as a tutoring session with Emma, and she kissed him, quick and sweet. He then kissed her, hard passionately. Walsh came in and caught them then got ready to beat him up. He went through the four steps in the dream over and over in his head, needing to figure out what his subconscious was telling him.

Obviously, he wanted a relationship. He wanted to experience love, and he wanted to do so with Emma. He already knew that – other people already knew that – and so it wasn't that hard to figure out why he had kissed Emma in the dream.

The tough part to decide was why Walsh came in and hit him. Well, it wasn't that tough. If something like this happened in real life, he had no doubt that Walsh would be furious. But, what was his subconscious telling him?

"You need to back off Emma. She's not available, you'll never get her."

No. He immediately shook his head, panic flooding through him. He would never purposefully put distance between Emma and him. He was too invested in their relationship to back out of anything, whether it was based on reality or fantasy.

Could his dream be true? He's only setting himself up for disaster by continuing this odd dalliance with Emma. She was in a relationship with his least favorite person, he was too busy to be anything more than her tutor.

It was like his heart was being torn in two.

His phone alarm suddenly went off, causing Killian to shake off any thoughts he had about dream interpretations. As he stood up, he pushed everything relating to his dream to the back of his mind.

He went to his closet and rummaged through his clothes to, once again, find a shirt that would accentuate his eyes.

Killian sat in his college math course in Mist Haven's oldest building. He completely forgot he had a midterm in the class that day and was dreading what the exam would bring. He hadn't studied for it – too consumed in his new life after getting accepted to Harvard – that the test just slipped his mind.

Killian took a deep breath as he looked at the first question on his Calculus 4 exam. He knew the concept from coming to class and homework assignments he did, but he wasn't confident enough in the material to feel like he knew what he was doing. Slowly, he picked up his pencil from beside his paper and started writing letters and numbers, showing his work and typing on his calculator.

Before he knew it, the professor was telling the class that the exam time was up, and he had to turn it in. Killian had luckily finished it, but barely. He didn't even get a chance to go over his work a second time, and usually he tried to do it thrice.

He used a shaky hand as he walked down the aisle to Professor Leopold, handing in the paper with his head down. "Thank you, Mr. Jones," the professor said. Killian couldn't even look him in the eye. Professor Leopold had once shared with Killian that he was the student creating the curve for the class, and he had much respect for Killian being so brilliant at such a young age.

What would he think when he graded this exam? How was Killian supposed to come back to class on Friday, knowing he probably screwed up getting an A? How was he going to look Professor Leopold in the eye ever again?

Victor's words started haunting him again. First, he had performed badly at the swim meet, and now he was positive he just failed this test. He had too much on his plate – he knew it – but he didn't know what to do. He had to work. He had to swim. He had to be in clubs. He had to go to school. There was nothing he was willing to drop out of his life to gain some more control.

Killian decided to just ignore any thoughts about the test and walked out of Mist Haven. There was nothing he could do about it now, anyway. He already turned in the exam. Now, all he could do was finish his afternoon at Storybrooke High before his tutoring session with Emma and teaching swimming later that night.

Killian pulled up through a Caribou drive thru and picked up his third coffee of the day.

Emma tucked her hair behind her ear as she entered Mr. Spencer's classroom at 2:48 that afternoon, prepared to apologize for her tardiness. Killian wasn't there yet, so Emma decided to set up the room as it always was while she waited.

She sat down and took out her math textbook and started going over the material for that day's session. She glanced up at the clock more times than she was willing to admit as the time went by. One minute, two minutes, five minutes later, Killian still wasn't there.

Emma's face morphed into concern as she took out her phone to see if he texted her. When there was nothing, she sent a quick message.

Hey! We were still meeting today at 2:45 in Mr. Spencer's
room, right?

Emma started placing her phone away when a gruff voice said from the door, "You are correct, Swan."

"You're late," Emma joked as Killian walked over to his seat. Again, he was wearing a nice polo shirt and dark-wash jeans, his hair perfectly slicked back. But, instead of his typical smirk, his face had indentations at the sides of his lips, clearly frowning before he came. He couldn't even fake a smile at her, and Emma knew something must be up.

"I lost track of time, and I must apologize for that." Killian slid into the seat across from her. "What are we talking about today?"

"Graphing systems with one solution," Emma started before cocking her head. Any awkwardness she had thought there would be was thrown out the window as she saw the poor kid. He was hurting, and all the insecurities she had of him being her tutor were immediately erased as she wanted to fix whatever was wrong. "Is everything alright? You seem… Off."

"I'm fine," Killian replied, but Emma saw right through the lie.

"Hey, remember when you told me we wouldn't be able to do math until I told you what was wrong? Well, the same applies to you, buddy. I'm not going to learn anything if your head isn't in the game."

Killian chuckled, even though a smile didn't reach his face. "I suppose it's a two-way street, isn't it, Swan?"

Emma nodded in response, pushing her notebook and textbook away from her, turning her body until it was completely facing her tutor. "You can tell me what's wrong – I promise I won't tell anyone."

Killian sighed as he began to list his day off for her. "I woke up much earlier than I should have, then I forgot about a math exam I had today and have no doubt I failed it, I'm doing so poorly at swimming, and I'm stressed with all my jobs. I thought I could handle all this pressure, but things are starting to pile up and I'm missing things that are important to me."

Emma sat at listened to Killian vent about all the things going on in his life. When he finally looked at her, his eyes were glossed over. He was on the verge of having a break down right in front of her, and all she could do was reach her hand over and grip it for support. "I had no idea how hard it was for you. You seem like the perfect person. I just assumed that everything came naturally for you."

Killian was staring at their hands before sliding it away. "Despite my superhero exterior, I admit that I'm just as human as you." He held his hand with his other, and Emma slowly took her hand off of his desk.

Emma and Killian sat and watched each other for a good minute. Emma didn't know what to say. She thought her life was hard, but Killian's was just as hard – just differently. "Do you need a break from tutoring sessions? We can take a couple weeks off if that'd help."

"No," Killian replied quickly, shaking his head. "I mean, look what happened when I abandoned you last Sunday. I'm not going to have you botch another quiz on my behalf. I just need to keep figuring things out."

"I was the one who agreed to let Walsh come along and left early with Ruby, you didn't abandon me. Besides, it wasn't even a formal tutoring session. You were just being nice."

"I let my childish feud take precedence over studying, at your expense. If anyone's to blame, it's me."

"How about we blame no one?" Emma gave what she hoped was a forgiving smile. "Let's just start over and erase that memory from our brains."

"Deal," Killian said, holding out his hand for her to shake. When she took it, her stomach lurched, but she couldn't find it in herself to be the first to let go.

Killian suddenly looked at the clock above Mr. Spencer's door. "Dammit! We only have 20 minutes left. Why would you listen to my sob story for so long?" Killian frantically let go of her hand and fished through the math material to figure out what they were talking about.

Emma shrugged. "You seemed stressed. Besides, we weren't going to get anything done, anyway, if you kept brooding at your desk."

Killian smiled and actually laughed. "I owe you another tutoring session now."

Emma replied with her own laugh. "As long as it's just us, okay?"

Killian beamed at her as they started their short tutoring session.