Chapter Thirteen
Edward's touch woke me up in the morning. It was soft and gentle, everything it should be. Just cold. But I didn't mind because I knew my alarm would go off any second. Edward smiled at me apologetically. I knew he hadn't meant to wake me up. And I knew that was the reason he quickly put the blanket between our skin. I sat up to get a better look at his face. He suddenly looked afraid--like he thought I would pull away or even hit him for waking me up.
"I don't mind how cold your skin is," I told him, and it was true. It was cold, yes, but I liked it. I liked everything about him. There was no such thing as a flaw when it came to him.
"Then why'd you wake up?" Edward asked, obviously not believing me.
"Internal alarm," I answered, leaning against him. "It happens all the time. Especially when I'm not dreaming about anything. I only sleep until my alarm if I'm having a good dream."
"Really? So what makes your internal alarm go off?"
"Nothing specific. Charlie still here?"
Edward nodded, closing his eyes. I glanced down at him. He looked relaxed still. I smiled because I couldn't stop it mostly, not that I didn't try. Edward wasn't some fictional character in the movies. He was real, even as mysterious as it was. He was mine too, and he didn't seem to object to my possessiveness. I didn't fully comprehend that he didn't sleep at all. Part of me wished he did because he looked amazing laying like that. But I wouldn't feel so comfortable if he was asleep. The fact that he was awake helped calm my fears.
"Where do you see yourself in ten years?" Edward inquired, opening his eyes.
I shrugged. "Never given it much thought, but I guess I'll be married, maybe have a kid or two. Done with college. Mom wants me to model or maybe act, maybe get into music too. Singing." I frowned thoughtfully. Like I said, I'd never given it much thought. At least not my future. The future in general maybe, but not mine. I had gone as far as what I would do to cope when I was no longer sixteen. After that, fate would work it out. I trusted the future. I knew I would have a future, and that was usually enough for me. I didn't have a Plan A, B, and C. I would find where I was meant to be without any plan. I would know it when I was there, and I knew that I was mean tot be in Forks then, meant to be with Edward.
"How many kids do you want?" Edward pressed.
"I'm not sure." I crossed my legs, sitting up. "Part of me wants a big family, but that's not always the best thing. I think I would probably go insane. But two or three have the capability to drive me crazy too. More than one at least," I answered finally, and switched off my alarm before it went off. "Never really thought about it, and my decisions change all the time."
Edward smiled. "I can't imagine you with kids at all," he admitted, and his voice sounded sad. "You're just a child yourself. It's... It's hard to think of you grown up, as an adult. You're mature, yes, but you're a kid at the same time."
"Will you miss the childish part?"
Edward looked away from me and stared at an invisible spot on my ceiling. "I won't be around then," he whispered.
"Why not?"
"It's hard to explain."
"I think I can keep up."
Edward shook his head. "It's nothing. Just forget about it, Timberlee," he said quietly, and touched my cheek. I tried to read what was behind the sadness in his voice, but I couldn't. There was nothing. I didn't know why he sounded so sad. But that didn't belong in his voice. I couldn't read what was in his eyes when he touched my cheek. It reminded me of a father touching his daughter's cheek, but it wasn't that kind of relationship. It was like he was trying to never forget the touch of my skin against his, like he wanted to remember how tan I looked compared to him. It was like he was putting pictures into his mind instead of on the walls, like I did.
"I'm not going anywhere, Edward," I whispered.
"You have to!" he told me fiercely. "You can't let me stop you from the life you want. Go home to your mother, go to Yale, get married, have kids. Don't let your feelings for me change the plans you've already made for yourself."
"It's too late for that. I can't change what I feel."
"Don't try to then! Just don't get too attached. Nothing lasts forever. You, of all people, should know that."
"Edward, what's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Then why are you acting like this? You're acting like you're going to leave or like I'm going to die, or maybe both. Please, just tell me. I'll do anything within my power if it helps. Don't shut me out."
Edward frowned, studying my face. I was pleading with him. He wasn't supposed to be sad when he saw me. I wanted to make him as happy as he made me. I wanted him to feel what I did when we were together. Instead, he spent the time savoring every moment. Not because he was scared it would end--because he knew it would end. Or at least that's what it seemed like to me.
Edward rolled off my bed, his shoulders sagging. "It doesn't matter," he replied. "You'll understand someday."
"And what if someday's not good enough?" I asked as he headed for my window--I knew he was leaving. "What if I want to understand now?"
"You can't. I'm sorry." And he was gone.
I closed my eyes. Nothing about Edward's behavior made me think he was going to leave me specifically. It just made me think he was leaving Forks or school or something else, not just me. But that scared me more than the thought of being dumped. Edward was the whole reason I could stand Forks and school. He was the reason for my sanity.
"Timberlee?" Charlie called, knocking twice on my door. "You up yet? Usually, you're up by now. You okay?"
"Fine, Dad. Just tired. I'm getting up."
It somehow felt like February 9th--my first day of school--all over again. I knew where I was going, but I had no clue what to expect when I hurried out to my truck after breakfast. I didn't know if Edward would be there or not. I didn't know if he would still be sad or if he would even talk to me. All I knew was that he wasn't telling me the reasons. Before, I thought it was one huge secret his whole family shared. But as I rolled over the conversation with Edward in my room that morning, I began to think there was more than one secret. I knew Edward was protecting his family. But who else was he protecting? Himself? Me?
I feel very... protective of you. It seemed like years ago when he said that, and I didn't know what he would be protecting me from by not telling me his secret. All I knew was that he had a secret, one that he wouldn't tell me... ever. I told him everything, and he apparently loved to listen to me.
The person protecting me suddenly struck fear into my heart, a fear that had always been there. But I never saw it before. I'm the bad guy. I'm the horror story you wanted as a reason we shouldn't be friends What kind of horror story was this Edward Cullen though? His gentle, caring touch. His beautiful smile that could lighten any mood. The way he looked at me, the way he talked to me, the things he noticed about me, the things he said to me. None of that was a horror story in my eyes. It was a love story. One no one could explain, but still a love story.
The charming, beautiful, flawless boy from Alaska, and the accident prone, shy, human girl from Los Angeles. Physically, it made no sense. He was perfect. I was a model, yes, but modeling had little to do with beauty. It had everything to do with talent. I was capable, but Edward was like a super hero--my super hero.
Mentally, it made no sense either. I was the city girl, daughter of an over-caring, doting mother and a cop. I was friendly, but shy--too shy to show how shy I really was. I was mixed up, confused, and incomprehensible in so many ways. Edward had secrets and abilities that made no sense, but he was the way everyone was supposed to be. He was a gentleman. He was loving. He was caring. He was perfect--completely flawless. As easily as he could get someone more beautiful, more mature, with less flaws, he picked me instead. That, most of all, made no sense.
How we fell in love didn't make any sense either. If he was a horror story, why wouldn't he tell me? Did he trust me so little. Or was he afraid I would leave and never come back? I didn't have the answers, but when I pulled into the parking lot and saw Edward leaning against his Volvo next to my parking space, I didn't need them.
Edward opened my door, smiling like we had been apart for a year. It hadn't even been an hour. He helped me out of my truck by lifting me off my feet as if I weighed nothing and setting me on the ground in front of him. He took my bag as we started towards building two for English. His arm around my shoulders, his grin widened. "You are the target of jealousy everywhere," he whispered in my ear.
"Good!" I replied, but it wasn't in spite. It made me feel good. All the stereotypes, all the grades, all the backgrounds, Edward had so many girls to pick from, and he chose me. He chose me. It seemed unreal.
"I showed Esme the scrap book you made. Minus the letter," he added quickly when he saw my horrified look. I didn't want anyone but Edward to read it. "I took it out. I'm trying to find a place for it in my room," he explained. "Anyway. Esme's all excited. She wants you to come over Friday night."
"Why? Does she not approve or... what?"
"No, no, no! She loves you already! Her and Alice have never been so excited before. They want to know you better. Is it okay if I pick you up Friday at six?"
"6:30 would be better," I replied. "I have to make Charlie dinner."
"Good. That's perfect."
I smiled at his enthusiasm. It was perfect though. I loved the way it rang off his voice when he said that. Edward had returned in perfect time, the Edward I knew. "So what's the plan for Friday?" I asked, entering the English room.
"Well, we might play some baseball, depends on the weather. Esme wants to show you off. Alice wants to take you shopping. Emmett just wants to hear some funny stories, or his version of funny. I just want you to have a good time."
"I will! I have a good time with you no matter what we do. Besides, I love Alice! She'll be my best friend if Jasper lets us. I swear he hates me. And I want to see your house."
Edward grinned. "You know, I never gave you a nickname like I said I would Sunday," he pointed out.
"You have one yet?"
"No, but I'm working on it right now. I'll come up with something though. I'm sorry if you're disappointed."
"Not at all. It just means you'll come up with something extra good," I said with a smile. I was anxious to see what would become my nickname and what would happen on Friday. Edward suggested Emmett would be there, which meant Rosalie would be there too. She was most of the reason I was nervous. I wasn't too scared of receiving their approval. Carlisle seemed too nice not to approve of anyone. Of course, it was different now that Edward and I were official. Alice apparently approved already. Emmett and Jasper would be okay, no matter what happened. Edward made Esme sound like Mom. And I already knew what Rosalie thought of me without being able to read minds. She made it obvious.
Once English started, we started to read Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. I'd read that one before too. But I didn't mind. We weren't reading it out loud, so I could just pretend to read. Mr. Sanders seemed to avoid giving us homework. Not that any of us minded.
I was thinking about Edward and our up-coming spring break. Edward was writing something furiously. I exchanged several confused glances with him, but he only smiled at me, shaking his head. And I let it drop after our fourth time through it. When the bell rang, Edward was folding up the small stack of papers. He was up before I was though, and was there to open the door for me.
Edward slipped the note into my hand as we departed. I frowned thoughtfully, but continued to my next class. I opened the note under my desk when I got there. Four whole pages. He wrote me four pages. All in one hour. I wasn't surprised he could write so fast. I just was surprised he had that much to say, and I wanted to know what it was all about. I couldn't have said that much, no matter how hard I tried, but I looked to the letter.
Timberlee Ember Stone,
I must say I was impressed by you this morning. I apologize again for upsetting you. Just know that sometimes life is unpredictable. I wasn't say that I would leave you. I don't want to leave you, and it's not in my plans, but my secrets go deeper than you know. I don't want you to misunderstand any of this. What I've told you is impossible to understand without one key point, and that's the one point I can't tell you.
Even though I can't tell you, that doesn't mean I don't want to. But most of all, I don't want to lie to you about anything. Please understand this. Don't make me have to lie to you. That would be harder than I can explain. Let's just leave secrets secret. I don't want to lie to you though, never in a hundred years.
I've waited for you a whole lifetime, Timberlee. An entire lifetime! An I don't want to lose you. I don't want to hurt you. I would do anything to save you from any kind of pain. I see that I've been too late by several years. But in the future, I promise to you that I will do anything to save you from pain of any kind.
Please, don't make me hurt you. I want to tell you the truth, but what happens when the truth hurts more than not knowing? If it comes to lying, I would avoid it as long as I could. I gave you the answer adrenaline once. But we both know that's not true. You knew it immediately, because it couldn't explain what happened. And I can't explain it any better than you can without telling something that I can't let loose. But I have no other explanation other than adrenaline that I can give. I apologize for the secrecy, but it's for your protection as much as it is for my family's.
You're sixteen. We've known each other for two and a half weeks alone. So far, I know just about everything about you that I could at this point. I feel like I've been deciding the pace for this relationship the whole time. I don't want to overwhelm you with mysteries to figure out. I especially don't want you to feel like we're moving too fast. I need you to tell me how you feel and everything that could help me.
I'm strong enough to push away cars. I'm fast enough to get there before you died. You have to tell me if I hurt you in any way. If this is going to work, you have to be completely honest with me, completely open. It's the only way I can do this. I love you too much to ever put a bruise on you or do anything else to hurt you. If I'm going to keep coming over at night and seeing you at all, I have to be sure I'm not hurting you. That's my greatest fear. I don't want you to regret our relationship because I hurt you.
The letter went on. Edward described why he was afraid to hurt me. He told me just about everything he could about it without actually telling me the much disputed secret. He told me everything but that one thing. His feelings, his fears, his reasons for the fears, what drew him to me, and so on. After I finished reading it, I had no doubts about his feelings. I tucked the note into my bag, taking deep breaths to calm my heart as it pounded.
On my way to lunch, I debated where to put my letter after I got home. I didn't know if Charlie ever went in my room to look around. Until Edward and I told him, the letter would have to stay hidden and it would have to anyway because Edward spent the entire four pages dancing around the truth.
Edward met me outside the cafeteria. He smiled and I returned the smile. We entered together. "Nothing romantic, but I'll buy you some pizza," Edward said.
I laughed. After we got through the chow line, Edward suggested we sit with my friends this time. Considering that Rosalie looked even more angry than before, sitting with my friends didn't seem like a bad idea. I wanted Edward to enjoy their company as much as I did, though I could never make him like Mike. He stood behind me, massaging my stiff shoulders gently as I ate. It felt good!
"Is it official?" Jessica inquired, glancing back and forth between me and Edward.
"Um..." I glanced at Edward, who was grinning and obviously waiting for my answer. "We're unofficially official," I answered finally. "We are, but Dad doesn't know yet."
"You're cute together!" Angela exclaimed. "Perfect couple."
I smiled. We did work well together. Edward was very much out of my league, but he loved me anyway. So I appreciated it much more. Edward squeezed the nerves on my shoulders. To anyone else, it would have hurt. But my case of TMJ made it feel good. He ran his hands through my hair every few seconds too, playing with the curls.
"When did it become official?" Jessica pressed.
"Um... Saturday?" I replied, and glanced at Edward for him to confirm, which he did.
"You guys should throw a party!" Lauren suggested.
"We could arrange that," Edward said in his gorgeous, velvet voice. "What do you say, Timberlee? Alice could have it planned in a few days alone. Sunday okay?"
"That's perfect!" Angela answered for me. "Where do we go?" She sounded overly excited, like Mom would have if she had been there to attend the up-coming party.
"Um..." Not my house because Charlie was there. Not Edward's house either for whatever reason he had. I looked up at Edward. He knew the area better than I did. He would know.
"The bar and grill outside of Port Angeles," he said.
"So is it like a formal thing or what?" Lauren asked.
"Semi-formal," Edward answered before I could. I elbowed him in the stomach because I was going to say casual, but I glanced over at Alice. I could practically see the plans she had. She wanted to dress me up. Unlike Edward, I could read her a little too easily and it was obvious she was going to torture me.
On the way to Biology, Alice joined me and Edward. She smiled, hooking arms with me. "We should go shopping! I want to surprise Edward with your outfit," she said.
"Won't he see it in your mind though?"
"Only if she thinks about it," Edward told me.
"Which I won't. We should drive to Port Angeles or maybe Seattle if you want after school."
"Sure, sure." Edward paused when I continued into the Biology room. "What?" I asked.
He shrugged casually. "Skipping class today," he answered, but his look told me he didn't want me to cut too. Not because he didn't want my company. Just because he didn't want me to get in trouble. By then, I knew the principal, Mr. Greene, enough to know that Edward would probably get killed for it. So I nodded. "Okay, I'll see you around," I said, and Edward smiled.
Alice hugged me quickly. "We should leave right after this period. There's so many good shops if you know where to look."
I smiled, nodding. "Sure, okay. Right after this period."
Alice skipped away then, leaving me alone. When the bell rang, Mr. Banner turned to us. "The hospital is asking for blood donations. Just for fun, I thought we could all see what our blood types are."
I stiffened. Blood and needles in one class? Fun? Never! Everyone else started the lab while I sat, still frozen in my seat, trying not to look. The boy in the next table pricked his finger and the light headed feeling came immediately.
"Is there a problem, Ms. Stone?" Mr. Banner asked, sounding like he was accusing me of raining on his parade.
"I already know my blood type," I whispered. The table in front of me started then, and I closed my eyes so I didn't have to look. "Can I go to the nurse? I feel really dizzy. Like I'm gonna pass out."
"Of course. Mr. Newton, please, help her."
"No, I don't need any help." But Mike was already on his feet, arm held out for me to take. We started towards the nurse's office. Edward sat on the curb by his Volvo, but he ran over faster than most were capable of when he saw me. "What happened?" he asked, looking into my eyes as if to check my vital signs.
"Nothing. She just got dizzy in class," Mike answered as if I couldn't answer myself.
"I don't like needles or blood," I told Edward, taking his arm and pulling away from Mike.
"It wasn't even her blood though," Mike muttered.
I glared at him furiously. "Edward can take me from here. Go back to class, Mike," I said coldly. Edward lifted me into his arms as if I weighed nothing at all. I rested my head on his chest as he walked smoothly, too dizzy to come up with a reasonable explanation for his strength.
The nurse gave me a full examination and concluded that I was fine. Hydrated and well-fed. She released me with a clean bill of health. Edward walked out of the office with me, his arm around my waist. We sat on the curb together, me clutching my stomach. "What's wrong?" Edward asked with a worried tone. But still the most gentle I'd ever heard.
I shook my head to get the images out of my head, but it didn't work--it never did. "Remember that school shooting?" I inquired quietly, weakly. "I was there. Blood just reminds me of the pools of red on the floor when my friends were dying. Needles remind me of when the medics trying to save the ones that didn't die right away. No matter what happens, I'll never be able to forget that, Edward. And worst of all, it was my fault."
"How?" Edward asked, making me look him in the eyes.
I shook my head again. "It doesn't matter. Forget about it. Forget I ever said anything."
"No, I can't do that. What did you mean by that? How was it your fault?"
I didn't reply. I didn't want to talk. Eyes closed and hands over my face, what could I say? Edward was worried and there was nothing more for me to say. I wasn't going to give in. Edward smiled gently though, hugging my shoulders. He breathed into my hair. "You want a ride home?"
"No. Alice is taking me shopping after this period. I'll be fine in a little while. The fresh air helps."
Edward's grasp tightened around me, but it still wasn't tight. He apparently knew exactly what helped in any situation. He couldn't read my mind, but he was close enough. Everything he did was at the perfect time, everything he said was right.
We sat on the curb together, my face buried in his marble chest, his arms around me, rocking just slightly. Alice saw us and ran over as fast as Edward had. She, too, looked worried. Edward looked up first. "She's fine," he answered, reading her mind or maybe just her face. "But I don't want her driving anywhere. You can take my car. Just don't let her drive."
"No," I mumbled, not moving.
"We can drive her car," Alice said, and I wondered if she could read minds too.
I nodded. "Alice can drive it. I don't mind. But if Charlie sees me in your car, even if I'm with Alice, he'll go insane."
Edward grinned up at Alice, rubbing my arm softly. "Fine. Go get some water for the ride and be safe. Don't let her out of your sight," Edward said to Alice in a warning tone, furious even, and we hadn't even left yet. I glanced at him, but he helped me to my feet without returning my look. "Have fun, okay?"
"I will," I promised. He kissed me quickly, and I wondered if it was because everyone was watching or for the same reasons be always pulled away so soon. But his smile meant more to me than his kiss anyway. I returned it because I knew he was concerned. "I'll see you?" Tonight, I wanted to say, but I didn't know if Alice was aware of our late night visits or not.
Edward nodded.
I was in a much better mood then. I got to see if Alice was anymore willing to give me answers. We drove back to my house. Alice listed off her ideas for the party on Sunday. They all sounded good to me. Sadah, Maggie, and Trooper were all in the back yard, but they backed away in fear obviously when Alice stepped out. I frowned. Dad was home though and came out looking interested to meet Alice.
"I know exactly where to go," Alice continued. "You'll look so adorable! I can't wait."
"Hey, Dad!" I greeted, hoping I wasn't as pale as I felt. "Me and Alice were going to Port Angeles to shop. There's a semi-formal party on Sunday. We wanted to go get our clothes for it."
Charlie nodded. "Have fun."
"Thanks. Alice Cullen, my dad," I introduced, setting my bags down on the floor. Dad, so far, didn't seem to realize I left school early, but I expected he would any minute now. "I just have to get my purse and then I'll be ready."
Alice nodded.
"The nurse called, Timberlee," Dad called as I ran up the stairs. "I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with you driving all the way to Port Angeles."
"Oh, Alice is driving. I feel better now anyway. Blood and needles just don't go well with me."
Alice remained downstairs to talk to Dad while I ran to get my stuff. I could hear her beautiful voice mixed with Charlie's rough, low voice. They were in the kitchen. I grabbed my purse and started down the stairs again.
"Well, she's adjusting much better than I thought," Charlie said, and I stopped on the last step, just out of sight. "But that worries me more than if she was still sulking. It's like I don't even know my own child."
"I'm sure she's fine. She's probably just trying to feel at home and get used to the whole new surroundings."
Charlie sat down. He didn't usually talk to strangers so easily. I'd grown up with the image of a shy man for my dad. But Alice was easy to talk to. I walked into the kitchen then. "Ready to go, Alice?" I asked, smiling. Charlie looked older than usual, but I knew why. He didn't feel any better, even after I tried to calm his fears by sitting through dinner with him. The best way after my attempts was telling him the truth about myself and Edward. He would definitely be concerned by that, but he wouldn't be left to discover the truth for himself. It was no better than Edward keeping his secret from me. It was worse because I wasn't protecting anyone but myself--Edward couldn't be hurt by a bullet if he could walk away after stopping a van with his bare hand.
"Yeah," Alice answered, and took my keys. She smiled at Charlie on our way. It felt strange to be sitting next to Alice as she drove down the road. As soon as we were out of sight of the windows in my house, she sped up to the speed that reminded me of Edward.
"We're all so happy for Edward!" Alice started cheerfully. "He's waited so long for you. You should have seen him on the days he missed school the first week. He was so quiet. He spent every minute talking about you when he was home. Or he'd just stare into space, and we all knew he was thinking about you. Other times, he would disappear and no one could find him. But he was so happy whenever he saw you! We're all so glad. We're going to be such good friends."
"Yeah, I hope so," I replied. "I just wish Rosalie would be more open. It would make things easier."
Alice glanced at me, looking shocked. "She's happy for you too. She just doesn't understand. There are reasons for her behavior. Just ignore her when she's rude. She'll adjust once she realizes you're not leaving."
"Why doesn't she like me? Is there something I did?"
"No! Nothing that you've done. She's just worried, or that's part of it. If you're physically hurt in this situation with Edward, we'll all get in trouble."
"That's why!" I exclaimed. Alice looked confuse and I smiled with a shrug. "He always tells me that if he hurts me, I have to tell him. He's so gentle--too gentle--and I appreciate it. It just didn't make much sense until now. Is that part of the reason he won't tell me the big secret too?" I asked.
"Part of it. We would all get in trouble if he told you."
"What if I discovered it for myself? Could he confirm it?"
Alice nodded. "But I don't think you'll figure it out. No offense," she told me with a smile. "It's just not the typical secret, and I don't think Edward wants you to know."
"Why not?"
"He's afraid you'll leave him when you do know."
"Oh..." I whispered, frowning. Why would I leave him when he told me his secret when he stuck with me when I told him mine? But those familiar words rang through my head again. I'm the horror story you wanted as a reason we shouldn't be friends. He was afraid that I would be scared of him. I didn't understand why though, and that was his secret. That was one of his fears.
Alice glanced at me. She must have noticed the tears I was trying to fight back. I didn't know how I could ever be afraid of Edward Cullen. The thought made me want to cry. He never hurt me once, but how low could his confidence be to not trust himself enough to trust that he wouldn't hurt me? And how little did he trust me if he thought I would be scared of him? Or was he truly a horror story? Was it really that bad?
I closed my eyes. "Does he trust me that little?"
"That's not it, Timberlee! He doesn't trust human nature and part of human nature is being scared of things like that. He does trust you."
"But he doesn't trust himself?"
Alice had no reply for that, and my guess was that it was because I was right. He didn't trust himself. Edward was scared to hurt me because he didn't trust he could control himself.
And then we reached Port Angeles. Alice ran around the car. She pulled me into a hug as soon as I stepped out. "You shouldn't worry about it. Everything is fine," she promised me. "He trusts himself enough to come see you every night, even when you're asleep. How much more could he trust himself?"
"He could trust himself enough to not be afraid," I answered.
Alice's hug tightened. "Stop worrying! I promised to give you a good time. I say we should look at dresses first. I want you to be the center of attention--you and Edward on your big night. So I'm going to make sure you both look absolutely amazing!"
"Are we going to look for decorations too then?"
"Mmhmm!" Alice answered, her voice higher than usual. "And stop by the bar and grill on the way home to reserve the party room. I say it should be from like one to six or seven. Is that good?"
"Yeah, that's great."
"Tomorrow, we should take a bunch of pictures of you two together to put on the posters and to send out. You guys have to be the hottest couple ever."
I smiled, feeling much better. "Except you and Jasper."
"No, no! I already know what we're wearing. It's nothing compared to what you'll be wearing. And you're the hostess, so you have to be the hottest girl ever! Edward said semi-formal. We're gonna find you a mini-dress to show off those gorgeous legs. And then we have to figure out outfits for you two to wear in the pictures too. And a place to take the pictures. I wanted to take them in that gorgeous clearing of Edward's, but he said no. So we'll have to figure out another place. Esme can help. Rosalie and Emmett too."
"Are you open to suggestions?" I asked thoughtfully.
"Of course! Do you have any ideas?"
I nodded as we started walking. "I ran away once when I was visiting. I was twelve. I found this beautiful, serene place outside of Forks. There's this old shack there. I have a drawing of it at home actually. I'll show it to you when we get back."
Alice linked arms with me, pulling me at a faster pace as we entered the store. The junior's section was in the back. "Do you want the pictures to be dressy or casual?" I asked, sorting through some jeans.
"We can do both. But you're the only one who gets to change. This is your day. You can change in the shack or we could set up a tent. I hope it doesn't rain or I swear I'll cry..."
I grinned. "Hey, can you find me some cute shirts--black, yellow, green, or blue. Size small."
"Sure. Why those colors?"
"Edward said they looked good on me. It's his day too, and I want him to think I'm hot."
Alice laughed. "Okay." She skipped away to a rack of shirts and started looking through them. I shifted from shelf to shelf looking, but Alice's spiky hair was easy to spot wherever I went. Alice came back with two everything--one in my size, one in hers. On our way to the dressing rooms, I saw a black mini-dress, flowered lace over a silky fabric. "Oh, my gosh! I have to try this on!" I exclaimed, and snatched my size off the rack.
Alice and I occupied the handicapped dressing room so we could see each outfit on the other without leaving. We tried on the same clothes at the same time. Outfit after outfit. I took at least ten pictures of us in each one to add to the memory. It felt like one of my shopping sprees back home in LA. It made me miss Phoebe even more, and Mom. I missed the crazy trips we made to buy one thing when we ended up buying a hundred or more.
"You look so gorgeous, Timberlee!" Alice exclaimed when it came time to try on the black dress I found. "We'll take pictures in that one definitely. Let's go look at formal dresses for the party now."
"Formal?" I repeated, terrified. "Edward said semi-formal."
"Of course he did! I told him too--in my thoughts. If they're only semi-formal, you'll really stick out. You have to look absolutely gorgeous, even more than normal. So formal," Alice explained happily, completely oblivious to my terror.
After trying on a total of twenty-seven dresses, Alice picked out three to chose from for the party. A silver, strapless mini-dress with a beautiful band of jewels under the chest. The fabric was a gorgeous silk. The second dress was purple with black ribbon at the top and the bottom. The last was also strapless. Blue with a black ribbon on the bottom hem and a black bow under my chest. I picked out the black dress, and a yellow dress with a huge petty coat and a pink bow around the waist for fun--I knew I would never wear it. Six new dresses total after I found a third laying on the floor. Alice insisted on paying for everything though, even the things I picked out on my own. I continued whining until the second she paid, and then I complained about how she shouldn't have done that. "I do have money," I mumbled angrily.
Alice only smiled.
We dropped the bags off in my car and ran across the street to the shoe store. We needed shoes to match our new clothes. Shifting through all the shoes, I glanced down the aisle at Alice. "You know, I've been thinking that I should just wear my old Converse for the pictures," I told her. "They look cute with anything. And I hate heels most of the time. Me, heels, and uneven ground is a sure ticket to a broken neck."
"Okay. You should add your own special touch anyway. So Converse it is."
"And we should make Edward a scrap book," I added. "It'll be a present."
"Good! Yes! This is so much fun."
I smiled. Shoes, belts, hats, jewelry, all sorts of things neither of us would ever wear, but we bought it all. I had the best time there, but it made me long for home, long for the sun too. But at the same time, the rain was perfect. I walked with Alice's skip to the next store--a book store. Our goal was to find a scrap book to show at the party, and another one for me to give to Edward. I spent another hour looking at books after we found two perfect scrap books, and then it was time to go home, stopping only at the bar and grill to make the reservation.
It was after ten when I got home. Dad had ordered pizza. I could tell he was disappointed when I told him I dropped Alice off at home. Of course, it was technically a lie. I dropped her off at the start of her street because she made me. I sort of got the feeling she was trying to keep me from Edward...
"How was shopping?" Dad asked from the couch.
"Awesome! It was amazing!"
"So I see," Charlie muttered as I attempted to carry as many bags as I could upstairs.
Tomorrow would be amazing too. After school, Edward would get to see me in "model mode" as Mom called it. A small hike, then we would take as many pictures as we could if the weather was nice. I was excited. When I reached my room, I knew Alice must have threatened Edward to make him stay away so he wouldn't see my new clothes. It took me a whole hour to put away the bags and bags of clothes. I went straight to bed after that, ready for it to be Wednesday. I wanted to be with Edward again, but I wasn't angry with Alice for keeping away--and I knew she did.