Disclaimer: I own nothing except the characters of Lili, Leo and Mairead.
As usual thank you to everyone who has reviewed/followed and favourited this story. I'm glad you're all enjoying it.
I apologise for some of the time discrepancies in this chapter, but I'm twisting things a little to fit with my plotline. Hopefully it won't distract you too much.
Let me know what you all think of this chapter, as always comments and suggestions are welcome
xx
Chapter 13.
They'd been in Rivendell four days and the entire time, Lili had the unsettling sensation she was being watched. Every time she looked over her shoulder or around she saw no one, but the sensation remained. It was making her edgy. She even disliked the idea of sleeping alone in the rooms Lord Elrond had so graciously offered her and other than her first night there, in a proper bed, sleep had eluded her.
So for the third night in a row, Lili found herself roaming around the dim-lit gardens under the silver light of a full moon, putting off the idea of going to bed.
Hitching up the skirt of the long gown she'd been given, while her own clothes were being washed, Lili moved across the grass barefoot. Luckily the nights were warm here and she found herself enjoying the bare foot 'summer' feel.
Sitting on the marble bench, she released a sigh and listened to the tranquillity of night, the soft call of insects, the twinkling, trickling sound of water falling in the nearby pond. If it wasn't for the unsettling sensation of being watched, Lili would have been perfectly content to stay in Rivendell, but now she couldn't wait to leave.
Restlessness was setting in, she wasn't a girl who liked to sit still for long, back in her own world she would haven constantly on the moving, working in the pub, giving riding lessons on her spare days off at the local riding school.
She spent her days with the dwarves, though she saw little of Thorin or Gandalf. In the company of her travelling companions she found herself laughing more often than not and the sensation of being watched lessen although it didn't completely disappear.
Kili had even promised to give her an archery lesson in the morning. Apparently, he thought she had the right build to be an archer and he admitted, in a whisper that the Elves boosted some of the best archers in all of Middle Earth.
"Lili?"
With a start Lili, lifted her head, her emerald eyes fell on the solitary figure of Thorin. His powerful features drawn into a surprised frown as he looked at her.
Thorin walked slowly down the steps into one of the many gardens in Rivendell, his mind whirling in a jumble of thoughts and fears.
After Lord Elrond had revealed the secrets of the map, one thought had surged through his head. Time was against them.
They needed to find Erebor's secret entrance and open the door, before the last light of Durin's day.
As he'd expected Elrond did not think their quest was wise, but he wasn't going to let the worrying of an Elf stop him from reclaiming his people's rightful home.
He was not some young, ignorant fool deluded enough to think he could simply walk across half the world and knock on the doors of Erebor. He knew there were risks, Orcs hunted them and there was a true chance Smaug was yet alive and still guarding his treasure.
Entering the peaceful gardens, he found his gaze drawn to a small figure seated on a bench, surrounded by sweet-smelling blossom trees. As he looked he realised the ebony haired figure was Lili, she was sitting silently, shoulders tense and back straight, her slight frame draped in the silvery grey fabric of an elvish gown that was clearly too long for her petite height.
She appeared oblivious to his presence, her thoughts elsewhere, as they had been from the moment they had arrived here. Her unease was not lost on him.
It had, however, surprised him he'd expected her like the Halfling to have welcomed the hospitality of the elves and revel in the chance to indulge in a few home comforts. Instead she was unsettled and restless, something was clearly bothering her and it went deeper than her finding herself in middle earth, though he didn't doubt that had to be playing on her mind.
"Lili?" He called softly as he approached, hoping not to startle her.
Despite his intentions, the raven haired woman still jumped at his presence, her entire frame going rigid before her gaze found his and she visibly relaxed.
Offering a small smile, she shifted on the bench and he watched the tension seep from her shoulders. What ever was bothering her, it was enough that she seemed to welcome his presence. The notion pleased him.
"Is something wrong?" he asked, his gaze sweeping over her features, noting the tiredness behind her soft smile. Was she having nightmares again?
At his question, she stilled again and hesitated before she slid along the bench to make room for him to sit beside her. Her gaze darted around them for a moment and he scowled, something other than him was making her nervous.
Taking her silent invitation to sit down, Thorin lowered his solid frame down beside her and for a moment they sat in an expectant, tense silence.
"What is it?" he pressed, his voice dropping to a low rumble, as he fixed her a stern stare.
Again she hesitated, letting her hands rest in her lap as she opened her mouth only to close it again with a shake of her head.
She had never been particularly comfortable in his presence, preferring the company of his nephews or Balin and the hobbit. "Do you wish to speak to someone else?" he suddenly asked.
Immediately Lili shook her head and to his surprise she placed a hand on his arm, "No, it's not that," she assured him and sighed wearily, "I'm just not sure how to…you'll going to tell me I'm being foolish."
He quirked an eyebrow at her statement, before he found his gaze drawn to the small hand resting on his arm. "I can't tell you anything unless I know what's bothering you," he pointed out.
With a start, Lili quickly removed her hand and tucked it back into her lap with a small blush colouring her cheeks. Clearing her throat, she sighed again, "I think I'm being followed. I mean, I haven't seen anyone but it's just a feeling."
Thorin straightened as she spoke and cast his gaze around the dim light garden, suspiciously.
"It might just be because I'm restless," she added quietly, "I'm not used to sitting around with nothing to do, but I'll admit it's unnerving me a little." She admitted as she shifted slightly beside him.
Turning his gaze back to her, he resisted the urge to take one of her hands in his and offer her a physical comfort. "If it is unsettling you enough you don't feel safe, then it is not nothing," he told her firmly, his gaze narrowing as he considered the possibility that Lord Elrond was having Lili followed.
"Come," he instructed, rising to his feet, "I have something that will help us both combat the restlessness of this enforced dotage."
Lili eyed him suspiciously as she slid to her feet, hitching the hem of her gown enough to show a brief glimpse of her pale smooth legs, ankles and bare feet.
Thorin forced himself not to think about the show of skin that left him wondering if the rest of her body was as smooth and pale.
Durin's beard! He snarled at himself, irritated with himself that his thoughts could be so easily turned into a carnal rush of heat and hunger.
Yes he could admit Lili was pretty and just recently her bright smiles, often for Fili and Kili, made his gut twist with bitterness. She was everything a dwarven woman wasn't, refreshingly delicate, all soft curves and gentle touches. While, he could admit she fascinated him, he wasn't about to treat her with such disrespect.
Lili obediently rose to her feet, careful to lift the hem of her stupidly long gown so as not to trip on it. Curious as to where they were going, she glanced at Thorin and froze at the look on his face.
His sapphire eyes had darkened and his features were pinched with…hunger?
For the briefest moment she was transported back to the one night she'd been talked into going clubbing with Leo and his squad mates.
She'd spent the evening dancing with Leo's best friend, Ryan a cheery Scotsman. They'd danced so close, their bodies brushed against one another, she wasn't overly confident but he'd made her feel empowered and he looked at her like he was mentally undressing her the entire night. Which he had later told her that was exactly what he'd been doing.
That look was impossibly close to one Thorin was currently giving her. She felt a heated blush threatened to fill her cheeks. Thorin Oakenshield was definitely not imagining her naked. The thought made a rebellious lick of heat curl low in her stomach and she immediately gave herself a firm, mental shake.
Don't be so bloody ridiculous Lillian! Hell will freeze over first.
With an abrupt turn, Thorin had his back to her and was making his way up the nearby flight of stairs, expecting her to follow, which she would out of curiosity if nothing else.
"Why not simply speak to her?"
Mairead tensed at the familiar voice at her shoulder, as she tore her gaze from the pair leaving the garden. She shook her head silently, guilt, regret and unbridled longing squeezing her heart hard enough it hurt to breathe.
Tears burned in her eyes again.
It was her! I still can't believe it.
"I would not know what to say to her," she admitted weakly, tears making her throat tight.
She'd shed a lot of those in the last four days, from the moment Elrond had told her of Thorin Oakenshield's company's arrival in Imladris and of the human girl in their midst.
It had been four days and still she couldn't find the courage to do the one thing she'd longed to for nearly twenty years.
The woman she watched from a distance was exactly how she'd pictured the four-year old daughter she'd left behind to be. They had the same green eyes and delicate features, but where as Mairead's own hair was a mass of flaming red, her daughter had inherited the midnight shade from her Father.
"She is your daughter, Mairead. Surely no words are needed."
Turning she stared at the wizard stood beside her, "It has been twenty years, Gandalf. Twenty long, years. She might not even remember me or even wish to. She and Leon were four years old when I was ripped away and returned here. I abandoned them whether willingly or not it doesn't matter, as a Mother it is unforgivable."
She hadn't dared hope she'd ever see either of her children again.
Nearly twenty years had passed since she was unexpected returned to Middle Earth, without warning she had been ripped from her world a second time with no clue as to why or how and forced to live with the devastating knowledge she'd been helpless against whatever force had bought her back and as a result abandoned her four-year old twins.
"If anyone understands what it's like to have your world disappear in the face of a new one, it's Lili." Gandalf mused, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder before turning and moving down the corridor, where Elrond waited expectedly for him.
Lili tensed resisting the urge to look over her shoulder, as she followed Thorin up the next set of stairs and onto a small walk away, where she could see another flight of steps to her right, leading up to the familiar arching building that was synonymous with the organic feel of this place.
Just up head she could see the small figure of Bilbo, who appeared to admiring the view of the Rivendell by night fall.
From one of the arching chambers nearby she could hear the loud, merry laughter of the rest of the dwarves and couldn't help but wonder why Bilbo still refused to join them.
Thorin stopped just behind Bilbo and Lili stilled beside him, when they stopped she realised, the hobbit wasn't taking the view but listening.
Just below them on another walkway, was Gandalf and Elrond immersed in deep conversation. They're voices carrying easily on the breeze and aided by the 'open plan, living with the elements' feel of Rivendell's design.
"…Of course I was going to tell you, I was waiting for this very chance." Gandalf explained hurriedly. "Really I think you can trust I know what I'm doing."
"Do you?" Elrond challenged softly, as they walked. "That dragon has slept for sixty years. What will happen if your plan should fail? If you wake the beast?"
"What if we succeed?" Gandalf defended instantly, "If the dwarves take back the mountain, our defences in the east will be strengthened."
Lili frowned curiously, Gandalf had an ulterior motive? Risking a glance at Thorin she was surprised to see him looking undeterred by the conversation, he looked calm.
"It is a dangerous move, Gandalf," Elrond warned.
"It is also dangerous to do nothing." Came the wizard's swift argument, "Oh come, the Throne of Erebor is Thorin's birthright, what is it you fear?"
Lili's heart fluttered nervously. Elrond was afraid? Unconsciously she placed a hand on Thorin's arm.
Bilbo shifted on silent feet and turned to leave, his gaze landing on them and he flushed guiltily for being caught eaves dropping on a conversation that concerned Thorin.
Lili felt Thorin tense, the muscles bunching under her hand, but he remained silent as he offered Bilbo a calm glance. His attention focused on the conversation below them.
"Have you forgotten," Elrond snapped sharply, "a strain of madness runs deep in that family. His Grandfather lost his mind; his Father succumbed to the same sickness. Can you swear that Thorin Oakenshield, will not also fall?"
The tension seemed to seep from Thorin and he turned away, Lili's hand slipping from his arm. Regarding him, she saw the heart wrenching mix of emotions play on his features and gleam in his eyes. He looked grief-stricken and afraid, her heart thumped painfully for him.
Instantly she replaced her hand on his arm squeezing gently, willing him to look at her.
"Gandalf, these decisions do not rest with us alone," Elrond continued, his voice carrying faintly up to them, as they walked away. "It is not up to you or me to redraw the map of Middle Earth."
Bilbo peered at them over his shoulder, his expression sympathetic as he looked at Thorin, his gaze full of pity.
Without looking at either of Lili or the Halfling, Thorin moved away from the comforting touch of Lili's hand. He didn't need anyone's accusing glances or pity. His heart twisted sharply with grief and the terrifying notion that he too might fall to the same sickness of the mind that had cost him his Grandfather and Father.
"Thorin," her voice caused him to hesitate and frustration zipped through him. Of all the conversation to eaves drop on, in the hope of learning some information, he had inadvertently gained more insight into his family's tainted bloodline than he'd wanted to know and she had witnessed it. The Halfling too, though he cared little about the Hobbit's view of him, but Lili, for some reason her opinion mattered to him and that knowledge infuriated as much as it surprised him.
Continuing his route towards the training arena, he'd located earlier that day, he realised he needed the therapeutic calm that came from training more than he had thought.
Passing under the archway he appeared in a large open circular arena, surrounded by twisting archways and pillars and the floor was lined with soft, pale sand. The area was lit by several lanterns hanging on the pillars around the edge of the arena floor throwing out warm golden light that chased away the shadows.
In the father corner, stood a straw filled dummy, used for sword practice and several round targets of various sizes hung around the walls for archery along.
Lili appeared soundless beside him, her bare feet muffled to silence on the sand as she took in their surroundings.
Her emerald gaze found him and she offered a gentle smile that made his chest ache. He didn't want her pity.
"You know, my sword arm is still weak," she commented with a small shrug, "If you'd like some company," she added thoughtfully, her eyes searching his.
Thorin was suddenly struck by how much wiser she seemed, standing there in the golden light of the lanterns, with her ebony hair tumbling around her shoulders and dancing at her elbows like a midnight waterfall, in sharp contrast to the glittering silver gown adorning her petite frame.
His gaze travelled to braid still decorating the left side of her hair, the silver bead catching the light as she shifted slightly on the balls of her feet. He felt his mouth twitch in a tiny smile.
Her eyes glittered like flawless emerald gems, as she watched him, curious and for the briefest moment almost wary.
She expected him to take his emotions out on her, send her away with a flurry of angry, bitter words. She hoped he wouldn't, she didn't think he should be alone after that bombshell; he looked like he needed a friend or at least someone to keep him company, even if he wouldn't admit it.
Lili couldn't imagine what that must've have felt like to hear other people discussing your mental health so callously. Thorin didn't show any signs of being mentally unstable; if anything he was the most sound of their company. Steadfast.
He didn't send her away but he simply stood watching her as she stood with him in the training arena. His sapphire eyes sweeping over her, like he was committing her to memory.
As he trailed his gaze over her, the dark frown that had marred his brow lessened and his expression turned decidedly gentle.
The smallest smile, made one corner of his mouth curl and he nodded, "I don't like being idle either," he admitted after another moment of heavy silence.
She nodded and then glanced down at the overly long trail of fabric that was the skirt of her gown, pooling around her feet.
Hmm, not exactly training attire.
Gathering up the excess fabric in her hands, she lifted the skirt until the hem was just above her knees and then proceeded to twist the light material into a knot, where it rested against the side of her left, lower thigh. "There," she huffed satisfied she wasn't at any risk of tripping over during training.
The sound of Thorin clearing his throat drew her gaze to the dwarf prince and she was surprised to see him staring at the ground, looking uncomfortable.
For a moment she blinked in confusion, before her mind offered up a snippet from one of her long forgotten history lessons.
She couldn't remember which time period it was, but she vaguely remembered something about it being considered scandalous for a woman to reveal so much as her ankles in public.
She blushed slightly as she looked down at her bare legs and feet. "I'm guessing you're about to tell me how inappropriate this is," she mused softly, "However, my own clothes are being washed and in my world short dresses and skirts are perfectly acceptable." She offered with a small smile, shifting her feet when Thorin still refused to raise his eyes.
"Leo always said, when he was on a deployment they had to be ready for anything, nothing could distract them," she paused, forcing herself not to squirm as Thorin's sapphire orbs finally raked over her in a slow perusal.
Licking her suddenly dry lips, she continued, "Think of this as a deliberate training distraction."
The muscles in Thorin's jaw bunched and his heated gaze found hers, "Very well," he agreed, his voice a husky growl that caused Lili's heart to flutter with unexpected anticipation.
Thorin realised Lili's ignorance as she hitched her gown scandalously high, but it still didn't stop the rebellious heat scorching through his blood and his eyes traced every inch of bare skin on display.
Berating himself he immediately dropped his gaze and willed himself to find the words to explain to her, he cleared his throat, only he didn't trust himself not to voice the thoughts suddenly flooding his head.
For the love of Durin. It's not her fault, get a hold of yourself!
"I'm guessing you're about to tell me how inappropriate this is," her voice made his muscles involuntarily tense. "However, my own clothes are being washed and in my world short dresses and skirts are perfectly acceptable."
He held firm, refusing to lift his eyes, as her words slid through the haze of his mind.
"Leo always said, when he was on a deployment they had to ready for anything, that nothing could distract them."
That caught his attention and he found his gaze drawn to her, tracing the length of her legs and sweeping over her to meet her stare.
His tracked the movement of her tongue as it flicked to wet her lower lip, he bit back the urge to swear.
"Think of this as a deliberate training distraction," she added quietly.
He felt his jaw clench as he reigned in his self-control. A distraction that was something he could train himself to ignore. Just like the conversation he'd over heard between Gandalf and Elrond.
"Very well," he agreed his voice husky with the unexpected hunger she'd caused in him.
Holding her gaze, he was astounded to see a flash of answering heat in her emerald eyes, before it vanished and was replaced with determination he'd come to recognise during her training sessions.
Turning he quickly shrugged off his cloak and removed his bracers until he was stood in his light tunic.
She moved across the arena to a rack where several blunt swords were held and he couldn't help but follow the curve of her calves as she walked, supple and elegant.
Neither of them spoke during the training session, unless is was necessary and Thorin found himself grateful for Lili's silent understanding that he didn't wish to discuss what they'd heard and for the fact she'd provided a distraction for his mind. Her distraction proved harder to ignore than he'd thought and as a result he was sporting a bruise to his right shoulder, where Lili had struck him with her blunt weapon, as well as a bruised ego. Snapping his bracers back in place, he found his gaze drawn to her, a sense of contentment settling over him.
Releasing the knot, that held her gown above her knees, Lili let the fabric tumble around her legs with a soft rustle. She was flushed from their sparring, but there was a proud gleam in her eyes behind her tiredness, she was improving.
She shook out the ache in her arms and rolled her shoulders against the stiffness building in her muscles with a small moan.
"Can I smell sausages?" She suddenly asked, casting him a curious stare.
Sniffing the air lightly, Thorin shook his head and rolled his eyes. "I suspect the others have grown tired of the elvish fare and decided to have a midnight snack."
Lili grinned softly as her stomach let out a perfectly time growl, "I might have to gate crash. They're not the only ones needing a bacon sandwich."
As they ascended the stairs and made their way towards the chambers where the others were 'camped' Lili faltered and turned back to look over her shoulder. They were definitely being followed.
She frowned looking towards Thorin who cast his gaze around the shadows of the hallway suspiciously; his big hands curled into fists at his sides but after a brief pause shook his head. He couldn't see anything amiss.
"Who are you?" Lili suddenly demanded sharply, moving a step closer to Thorin. "Why are you following me?"
For several long moments, they stood in the hallway waiting for someone to reveal themselves and Lili's heart beat a frantic rhythm in her chest. She knew there was someone there; she could feel their eyes following her. She wasn't imaging it, was she?
After all Thorin hadn't sensed anything out of the ordinary.
Releasing a heavy sigh, she shook her head and offered Thorin an apologetic half-smile, "Perhaps I am imagining it."
Turning back up the corridor, Thorin's hand gripped her arm gently, "Lili," he murmured and nodded back behind her.
Turning she followed his gaze and felt her heart freeze in her chest as she watched a figure emerge from a particularly dark corner. A woman with the same flaming hair and green eyes that had haunted her since her mother had vanished when she was a child.
Oh…it's not...it's not possible. It can't be.
Thorin felt himself still, as he took in the older woman standing before them. She was small, only marginally taller than Lili, with faint lines appearing around her eyes and mouth, marking the passage of time. She a had a mass of flaming red hair, tamed in an intricate braid and her eyes were the same familiar striking emerald-green as Lili's.
She could almost pass for kin, if he wasn't aware Lili's family were worlds away.
Dressed in a simple gown of dark green with a heavy black cloak draped over her shoulders and pinned at her throat with an ornate brooch, the woman looked decidedly guilty and overwhelmed as her own green eyes locked with Lili's.
Everything about the woman, screamed Dúnedain.
Beside him Lili had gone deathly silent, almost as though she had stopped breathing. Glancing at her, he realised she was in a state of shock. The colour had drained from her features and her eyes were too wide, as they remained locked on the strange woman in disbelief. A hand covered her mouth as though she didn't trust herself to speak.
Does she know this woman?
Shifting his attention back to the mysterious woman he narrowed his gaze suspiciously at her, "What business does one of the Dúnedain have following a member of my company?" he snarled.
The woman didn't even flinch, her gaze unwavering as she stared at Lili.
"Thorin," Lili stirred as she sucked in a shaky breath and locked her glittering gaze on him, unshed tears threatening to slide down her cheeks, "She's my Mother."