Where I Wished Not To Go

Chapter XIV: Behind the Door

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
and loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
and loved the sorrows of your changing face;

-William Butler Yeats

Rush and Young sat in comfortable silence playing chess and Young was losing spectacularly. They were on their sixth game when Young's radio sounded and he silently thanked the heavens because Rush kept accusing him of not trying and Young was beginning to lose his temper. It was Scott on the radio and he sounded quite exited so Young relaxed from the involuntary terror that always gripped him when the radio crackled.

"Colonel this is Scott, we have success." Young smiled and Rush looked up from the game. "We found some kind of small herring like fish as well as a few big spiny red ones. Not much luck on the flower front, we only found some purple leaves and weeds. Chloe's not gonna be happy."

"She'll make due." Young said, smiling into the radio. "Good work."

"Thank you, sir we…" Scott's reply was cut short by a scream and a long tirade of swearing.

Young's rose from his seat and yelled, "Scott what's going on!" He could hear Scott cures a few more times before laughter sounded through the radio and Young took a deep breath, rubbing his forehead and glanced at Rush who was smirking behind his hand and casting him an amused look.

"Sorry about that, sir." Scott sounded out of breath. "One of the fish bit Eli and he freaked out…" Scott was once again interrupted by Eli yelling in the background, "I did not freak out!"

Young chuckled. "Nothing to serious I take it?"

"No, sir… Put it down!" Scott told Young while apparently still talking to someone on the other end. "Sorry sir, I got to go."

"No problem Lieutenant, it sounds like you've got everything well in hand. Young out."

Young turned to Rush who was watching him thoughtfully, as if considering telling him something. But instead he got up from his chair, smiling faintly, "I should get back to work."

"Wait…You don't have to go." Young was suddenly very against the idea of Rush leaving and reached out and grabbed his shoulder but instead of flinching away Rush simply turned and looked at him.

Young pulled him closer and Rush let him with an amused look on his face. Young carefully placed his hands on his waist and to his surprise Rush responded by wrapping his arms around Young's neck and pulling him closer. Rush carded his fingers through Young's hair and kissed him softly. Young would never have associated Rush with softness before being kissed by him. When they kissed Rush was always soft and warm and his lips gave away just as much emotion as his eyes. Young kissed him back with fervour and felt passion rage through him like fire as he held Rush's body close to his. Young sneaked his hands in under Rush's shirt to feel his warm supple skin again. Rush sighed against his lips and Young drunk him down, relishing in every sensation as the heat from Rush's very soul seemed to warm him up from the core.

Air was becoming an issue and Young had to break the kiss but Rush held his head in place and landed one more quick kiss on his lips, like a signature, a secret sign to let Young know who he belonged to. Young knew full well those eyes would never let him go nor did he want them to. Their lips found one another again and Young moved his hands in slow circles over the perfect skin on Rush's lower back. Young felt himself grow hard and reluctantly began pulling away from the embrace, not knowing how Rush would react if he discovered his predicament. Rush seemingly equally reluctantly broke the kiss and looked at him a little annoyed. "What?"

"Nothing…" Young breathed and at the sight of Rush's ruddy lips and slightly flushed cheeks all Young wanted to do was kiss him again and carelessly pulled Rush to him again and recaptured his lips. Rush froze when he felt Young's hardness against his hip and pulled back further without releasing his hold of Young's neck. Young feared for a moment that he might have scared the other man of but then Rush pulled him closer and pressed himself against him. Young took a deep breath when he felt the resulting friction.

"I said I wanted you close, so don't pull away." Rush muttered and Young placed a kiss on his temple. Rush shuddered and rested his head against Young's shoulder and Young felt Rush was half-hard. Young wrapped his arms tighter around him and considered telling him everything was okay, because Rush suddenly felt so very innocent, trembling in his arms and hiding his face away. Instead he threaded his fingers through Rush's soft hair and placed another kiss on his head.

"How did we end up here?" Rush looked up at Young, frowning and an almost peaceful half-smile on his lips. Young smiled and cradled his cheek, feeling something deep and poignant in his heart that he hadn't felt since he was young. "I have no idea, I'm just glad we are."

The door swished open and Chloe walked in. Rush immediately shoved Young away from him, but gave Young the closest thing to an apologetic look he had ever received from Rush. Young tilted his head and couldn't help but smirk at Rush's dishevelled appearance. Rush self-consciously tried to flatten his hair and straighten his clothing before Chloe noticed anything. Judging by the smile on her face he needn't have bothered and Rush soon stopped and crossed his arms protectively and continued to glare at her. Chloe crossed her arms in a mirroring gesture with a knowing expression.

"Was there something you wanted?" Rush spat with enough venom to make her flinch but she quickly recovered. Young wasn't sure if Rush was more angry about being interrupted or about being discovered in such a compromising situation. Young hoped it was the first one. "If not I'm rather busy."

"I could tell." Chloe quirked an eyebrow and Rush scowled at her.

"Chloe, could you please put us out of our misery and just tell us what it is you want?" Young injected and took a step towards Rush when he saw a murderous expression forming on his face.

"Okay…" Chloe sighed, clearly disappointed but also a little relieved when she caught the look in Rush's eye. "Nick, Lisa wants to talk to you." At Rush's confused expression she quickly added, "Lisa as in Dr Park."

Rush's expression cleared and he nodded before looking confused again. "Then why didn't she just call me on the radio?"

Chloe waved her hand dismissively. "I was in the neighbourhood."

Rush glanced at her suspiciously before walking across to Young and leaning in closely he placed a chaste kiss on his lips, but before Young could react he was walking away again. Rush exchanged a knowing look with Chloe before leaving the room. Chloe turned to Young while trying to supress a grin behind pursed lips. "What was that about?" Young asked.

"Oh, nothing." She smiled and waved her hand dismissively again.

Young decided to let the matter drop and moved towards the doorway. Chloe followed him out into the corridor and joined him in the walk to his quarters where a fairly large amount of paperwork he'd been ducking was waiting. While they were walking she told him about the progress they had been making concerning the wedding. Apparently she, Camile and Varro had managed to put together a dress out of the sparse material they had, but there hadn't been enough for a veil. TJ was however sure she could make a nice hair arrangement out of the leaves from the planet for Park.

When they reached Young's quarters she suddenly stopped talking and fastened him with a stare worthy of Rush and moved into his personal space. "You do realise that if you hurt him I'll kill you?"

Young frowned and folded his arms. "That's quite a threat."

She didn't back down and Young had to admit to himself he was impressed by her resolve. "I'm tougher than I look." She narrowed her eyes and said, "You don't hurt him. Do we understand each other?"

"We do. I'm not going to hurt him again; that's the last thing I want to do." Young smiled and she practically deflated.

"Good." She sighed happily and patted his arm in a friendly gesture. "I know he's a difficult person but deep down he's a good man. He saved me twice when he could just have walked away and left me for dead, but he didn't. He's always been braver then people have given him credit for."

"You're right about that." Young muttered while thinking about all the crap that had happened to Rush. Chloe patted him on the arm again before turning and heading down the hallway. "I'll see you at the wedding tomorrow."

xzxxzxxzx

All the tables and chairs had been moved from the mess into the Gateroom along with an assortment of plants from the dome room to give the place a more festive feeling. Rush mostly watched from the sidelines but had leant them his IPod and IPod stand since he was the only one with even remotely appropriate music for the occasion. They had all agreed that Puccini was a better choice than for example Also Sprach Zarathustra which Park had vetoed.

Rush was leaning against the Stargate when Young joined him with a pained expression on his face and looked out over the chaos taking place in front of them. Rush hadn't seen Young since Chloe had interrupted them and worked through most of the night, apart from an unintended forty minute nap over a console. After he'd met up with Park in the dome room his head had been buzzing and he needed to distract himself from her request. He had no idea why she'd asked him.

Young sat down on a table next to him and fiddled absently with his sleeve while watching people running back and forth. "Was your wedding like this?" Young asked, glancing up at Rush.

Rush looked back at him and shrugged noncommittally. "Ours was a small wedding in a church near Middlesbrough. Only me, Gloria and her parents were there. Yours?"

"Emilie wanted the whole nine yards." Young shook his head incredulously. "The perfect church, the perfect flowers and the perfect food. Perfect dress and perfect man. She got everything but the last one." Young finished bitterly and Rush looked back over the crowded Gateroom.

"Park asked me to lead her down the aisle." Rush shot him an incongruous look and Young burst out laughing. "And I take it you have no idea as to why?"

Rush gave him a look that clearly stated that he though Young was a complete tosser and Young couldn't help but laugh again.

"Are you quite done?" Rush snapped and moved somewhat uncomfortably against the gate.

"Yeah sorry." Young gathered himself and looked up at Rush and found him glaring back. "Sorry, man it's just…you really don't know why she asked you?" Young's smile faltered when Rush looked away.

"Nick…" Young stood up and walked over to Rush who scowled at him. Young grasped Rush's hands and said, "She asked you 'cause you saved her life and because you're her mentor. Is that so hard to understand?"

Rush frowned. He had never thought about the fact that he might actually mean something to the people aboard Destiny. He knew Chloe cared and so apparently did Young for whatever reason. He barely knew Park, hadn't even bothered to memorize her first name, much less taken any interest in her. He still didn't. There were far more interesting things on Destiny then people to study. He looked back at Young when the latter squeezed his hands gently.

"Yes…" Rush grasped one of Young's hands in both of his and began bending and massaging the joints again like he had back in the observation room. "Yes, it is."

"More people care about you then you think…" Young was about to continue but was distracted by Rush's ministrations and, even though they felt rather good, had to ask, "What are you doing."

Rush shrugged and let go of his hand. "I like the feeling of bone."

"Is that a euphemism?" Young joked and it was Rush's time to break out laughing. "If you play your cards right."

There was a sound of running feet and a very out of breath Volker stopped next to them and leaned heavily against the gate. "Doctor Rush, Lisa needs you." He blurted out while wiping his forehead on the sleeve of his borrowed white shirt. "She's driving me insane. They all are. TJ, Camile, Chloe, Eli…Varro."

"What do you need me for?" Rush asked feeling rather like he'd made the biggest mistake in his life when agreeing to take any part of this. His fears were realised when Volker answered. "She needs you to do a 'practice walk' with her." At the disgusted look he received from Rush he added, "Yeah, I don't know what that's about either."

Rush sighed and admitted defeat. The sooner all of this was over the better. Since Volker had closed his eyes in exhaustion Rush quickly squeezed Young's hand before turning to walk away. Volker called after him, "Thank you for doing this, Doctor Rush. I know it means a lot to her. You have my eternal gratitude for saying yes and…and for getting her off my back."

"Your eternal gratitude, eh? Just what I always wanted." Rush muttered sarcastically but Volker smiled at him nonetheless. "Oh, and Ronald has promised never to murder you."

"Well, that's something." Rush turned and made his way through the ocean of people and Young thought he caught a smile before he disappeared into the crowd.