Chapter 14 – Rattle

Lithien nudged Pilín with her heels and leaned forward in the saddle, whispering encouragement into the mare's ear. The animal nickered in response, before bolting forward.

She glanced to the side, if only to see surprise painting Elladan's features as she passed him in a sudden burst of speed. The ellon called after her and spurted his own horse forward, but she was quickly gaining distance.

The hooves thudded against the ground as they raced down the road winding through the forest. Gîl, Elladan's steed was a great runner, coming second only to Glorfindel's Asfaloth, but she couldn't keep up with the black mare.

Lithien slowed down only when she heard cobblestones clicking beneath Pilín's hooves, and trotted around the fountain slowly, mischievous grin plastered to her lips. Elladan burst into the courtyard several seconds later, scowling when he saw the smug expression decorating his friend's features.

'You should have told me!' he exclaimed coming to stop next to her.

'Tell you what, exactly?' Lithien asked, feigning innocence. She patted Pilín neck.

'That she has a hawk enchanted beneath her skin and can fly almost as well as they do…'

The elleth's smile widened.

'But you wouldn't have agreed to bet with me, if I have told you.'

'Of course I wouldn't! No one likes to place bets if there is no chance to win them!'

'And yet you do so quite often, brother' a voice interrupted them. 'What were you two betting for, this time?' Elrohir descended the flight of stairs behind them and smiled at the two, demonstrating his newly healed shoulder by bowing with an exaggerated flourish.

'The privilege of telling you how much fun we've had, while you were sitting here, bored out of your mind' Lithien said, dismounting swiftly. 'But if Elladan claims, that I was cheating, then I can cede the reward to him.'

'And since when lying is not cheating, I wonder?'

'I did not lie' the elleth objected. 'I merely didn't tell you the whole truth…'

'I am glad to see the two of you in such great moods' the younger twin interrupted them. 'It is not going to last tough; all the other scouts have already returned. Where were you? Father was starting to worry...'

'Journey like ours can take several weeks. I dare say we were rather quick about it' Elladan pointed out. 'Let us take care of the horses and we will meet with him soon.'

'Maybe, but the news you have are eagerly awaited…'

'Then the two of you should go on ahead' Lithien interrupted them. She was almost certain that Elrohir was acting like this on purpose. So many hundreds of years and yet, so little have changed. He could only blame himself for not being able to join them, this time.

Still, supper was going to be enjoyable. Especially after he will hear about the troll.

Without waiting for permission, she took the reins from Elladan.

'I will join you as soon as I am done with them.'

The older twin regarded her with a frown. Galaren's letter was still safely tucked away in his hip-pouch, but the sooner he would be able to give it to his father, the better. He promised to keep Lithien out of trouble, but he knew all too well, that once she sets her mind to something, it was nearly impossible to make her change it. He was willing to bet, that even right now, she was stalling.

Lithien turned around and left them, before he got the chance to object.

'Do not drag her into it, if she doesn't want to' Elrohir came to stand next to his brother. 'I, for one, am rather glad, that she is not willing to just run off into the wilderness together with the hobbit.'

'If only her brother would be so easily assured' the older twin mused.

'How bad did they argue this time? Don't look so surprised' Elrohir smiled at his brother. "It had to be serious, if she is here, instead of back in Lórien with him. I was sure she was going to stay there, all things considered.'

'You don't have to tell me that…' the other ellon grimaced. 'But I give up on trying to figure it out… Come' he nodded towards the staircase. 'I will gladly let father handle this; she needs some sense knocked back into that stubborn head.'

'All of that, because you are afraid, that Galaren will take personal offence?' the younger twin grinned.

'Might be, because I have always found the quiet kind of anger rather terrifying' Elladan replied, climbing the stairs.

When Lithien finally made her way to the library, the twins were already gone. She was rather sure that Elladan didn't need her, except for, maybe, addressing the contents of Galaren's letter right away. And she wasn't looking forward to that. He didn't have to drag others into their personal matters. Yes she was rather brash with him, more so than usual, but she knew that it was wrong. And she was going to apologize, just as she always did.

She had no idea what had suddenly made him so angry. It wasn't the first time they have argued, nor the first time when she has disregarded his wishes. They have always managed to reconcile afterwards. She didn't get how her wish to remain in Rivendell and do something, was so much worse than their usual arguments. Galaren was well aware of her temper; he could not possibly expect her to stay with him. Especially not after being ordered to do so.

She found the lord of Rivendell standing by one of the tall windows. Even from the spot where she stood, she could recognize Galaren's hand in the letter Elrond was reading.

The frown etched into his features, when he glanced up at her, didn't bode well.

'Ah, so you have finally decided to show up.'

'Elladan knows the same things I did, so I decided, that I was not needed when he was relaying the news. My apologies' she curtsied and tried not to wince when the bodice of her dress ground into her bruised ribs. Maybe wearing a wired dress wasn't the smartest idea, after all.

Elrond quietly regarded the elleth before him. She studiously avoided his eyes right now, well aware of his displeasure. And yet, the line of her shoulders was proud as if she was readying herself for a fight.

The ellon sighed; he wasn't surprised. Slightly disappointed perhaps. Many centuries have passed since he had met her for the first time. And he was well aware that, while possessing many virtues, she was not free from vices. And they were the same ghosts that troubled her father – Daugion, while being a brilliant leader and strategist, was also a prideful and stubborn man. Unwilling to accept or understand anything that wasn't catering to his view of the world.

He has lost his oldest son because of that. Deeply wounded his two remaining children. And in the end he lost himself to his own bitterness and despair, because he refused to see anything that extended beyond his own pain.

Lithien was both different and similar to her father. He was sure, that she would not approve of the comparison, though. Most of the time she was brave, fiercely loyal and protective of her friends. He had some firsthand experience with that.

But she could also be proud to the point of arrogance and heedless to the opinions of others. And Galaren was the one that had to battle that side of her most often.

Lithien shifted slightly under his scrutiny, fiddling with the hem of her dress. The silence was getting heavy and difficult to bear.

It was exactly what he had in mind.

'Tell me' the ellon started, as if pondering something. 'Do you love your brother?'

Lithien flinched and stared, for a moment too stunned to respond.

'You know very well, that I love Galaren dearly' she said after several, long moments, surprise shifting first to confusion, and then to irritation. The question was unjust and made no sense.

Lord Elrond kept looking at her, one eyebrow slightly raised, completely unimpressed.

'This letter tells me otherwise' he carefully rolled the piece of paper. 'It was nothing more than a confirmation of my earlier worries. I am well aware that there is a tension between you and your brother and that it lasts much longer than your latest argument…'

Lithien was opening her mouth to respond, but a slightly raised hand told her that the ellon wasn't done yet. The elleth folded her arms in front of her, but remained quiet.

'However, I do not understand the reason behind it. You two being similarly stubborn is definitely not enough to warrant that. Galaren did not give me a sufficient explanation either. Do you think you might have one?'

Lithien pursed her lips, not even trying to hide her annoyance. She was angry with Galaren for bringing their problems to attention and annoyed with lord Elrond, because he always knew how to make people talk without having to pull their tongues. She was often subjected to that particular manner of speaking and saw it employed a great deal more. It was an easy and surprisingly effective way of gaining information he wanted. You could always try to omit the truth, but there was no point in doing so.

It never worked.

She didn't want to talk about it. They should be able to work out their problems between the two of them, however unlikely it seemed. Lord Elrond didn't have to know everything.

Because she knew who was at fault here. And admitting to her wrongdoings was never something she found to be easy to do.

There was a time, long ago, when she had allowed Galaren to organize her life to the point where she resigned from her duty as a warden. At that time she had thought it might be a good thing to do. But she had soon realized that a sheltered life of a noble born lady wasn't something that could have ever make her happy. Galaren was reluctant, but he had allowed her to return to the border patrol. He never ceased trying to keep her as far away from danger as possible, though. She was rarely allowed to leave the forest with the patrols. And every time, when she was trying to tell him that he didn't have to do that, she was mostly ignored or given a vague excuse.

She didn't want to wilt away, polishing armors or spending hours up in the trees, watching a motionless horizon. She knew, that Galaren was taking care for her to the best of his abilities, but she gradually ceased to care about it. And, instead of trying to talk with him about the behavior that was slowly suffocating her, she took to contesting his every decision. Sneaking with the patrols even when she was told that she couldn't go. Leaving the forest on her own several times. Or escaping to Rivendell whenever she could. She couldn't deny that, on more than one occasion, such behavior had landed her in trouble.

With Galaren almost always being there to help her out. He was nothing but patient with her and her whims, even if he often heard nothing more than a few unsavory words as an expression of gratitude.

No wonder that he had finally snapped.

From one argument to another, they slowly drifted apart and, while they still stood side by side on the battlefield, it was becoming more and more difficult for them to find a common ground. As much as Lithen was trying to shift the blame for that to Galaren, she couldn't do this. Not while being completely honest with herself.

Lithien sighed. There was no way to get out of this now.

'I will take you falling quiet as a good sign' lord Elrond said, his lips curling in a small smile. He could almost guess the elleth's thoughts from her expression alone. 'But we are here to talk. And as much as I appreciate your company I cannot spend the whole day admiring the view' he nodded toward the glassless window.

'He has not stopped coddling me since I resumed my warden duties and I honestly cannot stand it, but he never listenes' Lithien replied, not quite able to hold the ellon's gaze. 'He never listens, when I am trying to tell him that his worries are unwarranted.'

'And you thought, that going against his wishes, would be a good way to prove him that you are much more responsible than he thinks you are.'

'Well maybe not…' she didn't dare to say, that doing so pleased her. At least for a short time, while the feeling of freedom was still fresh.

'You know very well, why he is so worried about you…'

'I do, but does that mean that I have to forever repent for one mistake I have made when I was still inexperienced?' she interrupted him. She knew it was a bad idea, even before a small crease appeared between his brows and confirmed it.

'That one mistake has nearly gotten you killed. Could have left you permanently maimed' he ignored a brief flash of pain that crossed the elleth features. 'When you have first arrived to Rivendell, you were still limping and far from full recovery… Your injury very nearly costed your brother his sanity. Why do you find the fact that he cannot bear the thought of losing you so detestable?'

Lithien felt her cheeks heating up. She always loathed the feeling of shame, settling hot and raw in the pit of her stomach, but right now nothing she had done allowed her to counter lord Elrond argument. Despite the fact that she knew, deep in her heart how unfair he was being right now.

She would have done anything for the sake of her brother. Whether it meant supporting him on the battlefield or shouldering some of his responsibilities. Even forcing Legolas to continue his journey alone with her, was done because she was concerned for Galaren.

She was also contradicting this thought with almost every word that left her mouth.

She would have laughed, if she wasn't in the middle of this mess.

'You need to understand' Elrond continued. As long as she was sulking in silence, it mean that she was listening to him. 'That you are far more important to Galaren then you probably realize. You are not only his younger sister; you are the only family he has left. He wasn't as fortunate as you with finding so many other people to care for so deeply…'

'That is not true. He found himself someone else whom he cherishes, as you well know…'

'Of course, and I do believe he had made an excellent choice' the elf lord smiled. 'But I know that nothing would have diminish the pain he would have feel if anything was to happen to you. And you know that too, because the loss off Calanon still haunts you. I would never believe that you could ever wish to make your brother suffer in the same way.'

Lithien escaped the ellon's gaze again and faced away from him. It was the last name she wanted him to bring up right now.

And one of the few that truly mattered.

When she had met him, there was hardly anything likeable about her and she wasn't even trying to change that. Still Calanon had admired her for whom she was, in spite of all her faults. He had never wanted her to be anything else than herself and she appreciated this much more, than she was ever able to convey through words. He helped her regain confidence, when she thought that not much of it has left.

He only ever wanted her to be happy. And she was.

But she lost him. And the wound was still marking her heart, even if time had dulled much of the pain. Yet it still felt exposed and raw whenever someone touched on it.

Lithien shut her eyes, hiding her welling feelings behind the closed eyelids.

Of course she never would have wanted Galaren to face such a torment. He already suffered because of her once. And it was more than enough.

She wasn't surprised by the soft press of fingers against her chin, turning her face back toward the elf lord. Elrond looked at her with a fond smile, his thumb softly caressing her cheek.

Not many people were allowed to see such a display of vulnerability. A glimpse of softness that usually lay hidden beneath wry humor and layers of steel. It was a saddening thought – life should have never harden someone like that.

'You, my dear, are brave and headstrong young woman' he said, causing her to smirk. 'Which are both admirable qualities as long as you stay mindful of those who care about you' the ellon admonished softly. 'And while I don't think your brother to be entirely faultless, the change needs to come from somewhere.'

Lithien's brow twisted into a frown.

'I know that' she sighed, some tension dropping from her shoulders. 'But it feels a lot like forsaking myself and I am not willing to go that far.'

'I would never demand such a thing from you' Elrond assured. He certainly did not want to make her feel like she has to make a sacrifice in order to mend the rift between herself and her brother. 'Galaren may sound like this is something he wants, but I am sure that this is not true for him either. As much as he dislikes you getting in all sorts of trouble he admires your bravery. He always did.'

'Nevertheless, he wrote you a letter' she replied. 'And I doubt he had done so, solely to complain about how much trouble I am giving him.'

'You would be surprised' it was his turn to smirk. 'But his letter is not entirely about you. I will also make sure to send him a proper response' the elf lord added. 'And you are correct; your brother is also asking for a favor.'

Lithien swallowed down the question that instantly pushed itself into the front of her mind and patiently waited for Elrond to continue.

'Your brother wishes to keep you out of the harm way more than anything' he said and Lithien had to bit her tongue to stop the instant, annoyed response. If she was to become more receptive to her brother worries, it would do her some good to learn how to tone her irritation down.

'Since he is aware that his attempts to reason with you were so far unsuccessful, Galaren resigned to asking me to deal with you' the ellon smiled at her. 'In his own words I am the only person that hold any sway over you.'

Her mouth twisted into a humorless smile, but she once again remained quiet. Galaren's judgement was not wrong. There wasn't many things she would not have done for Elrond.

'He gave me plenty of sound reasoning for his request, but I shall keep it brief. I can see you are growing impatient' Lithien didn't miss the not too subtle attempt at lightening the mood. 'Your brother wishes you to remain in Rivendell, until the danger abides. And in case I will not be able to keep you in here, I am to send you off to the Grey Havens with the rest of my people…'

'This is not possible' Lithien interrupted him, crossing her arms over her chest. 'I will never get onto the ship, unless my brother will be right next to me. And I cannot believe that he would keep me away from his side when the war might be upon us any day. I cannot bear the thought of leaving him to fight the upcoming battles alone.'

'Galaren only wishes that you will stay safe. I think he believes that you had seen enough war. He is safe for now within the woods of Lórien. He is also a brave warrior and a talented leader. I don't think he would ever seek an unnecessary risk in battle.'

Lithien heard an unspoken unlike your father loud and clear in her head, no matter if Elrond had meant to actually say it.

'You said, that Galaren would not be able to bear if something was to happen to me' she said. 'And yet, it seems, he cannot fathom, that I feel the same way about him.'

Elrond gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze.

'This is something you can only work between the two of you. But you should be glad to hear that I am not planning to force you to do anything against your will. I know you and I am well aware how often doing so had not worked as planned' they shared a smile. 'But if you would listen to a well meant advice, I would consider heeding Galaren wishes this time. I doubt you will be able to reconcile with arrows whistling past your ears.'

'It's hard not to agree with that' Lithien's mouth pulled into a hard line.

'But you will do only what your heart desires' Elrond said. 'I can only ask you to consider your next move with your brother in mind. Take as much time as you need. We will see each other at supper.'

Lithien bowed her head at the gentle dismissal. Ironically, time was not something she had right now. She turned to leave at the same time the ellon moved for his desk.

'He told me not to change' Lithien spoke suddenly and Elrond stopped in his tracks, turning around to glance at her.

'He said so quite often' the elleth continued, her voice carefully measured. She was facing away from him. 'And when I held him that day, he made me promise to never go against of who I am. I intend to keep that promise. I will think about Galaren's request though. Until later, my lord' she made a small curtsey and headed for the exit again.

Elrond watched the elleth go, the memory her words brought bright in his mind.

'Calanon also told you not to be afraid to move on' he reminded her, his voice barely loud enough to carry over.

Lithien froze mid-step, telling him that she has heard him, even if she refused to look around. Several heartbeats passed with neither of them speaking, before she quietly walked away.

Lithien has spent the next couple of hours outdoors, wandering around the gardens and letting the views and the soft murmur of the running water ease her mind. But as much as she appreciated the beauty of the afternoon slowly shifting into the starlit evening, it was not enough to rid her of the guilt completely.

At least no one could have said that she did not deserve it.

In the long run, her musings changed noting. Returning to Lórien to aid him was the only reasonable thing to do, despite lord Elrond's prompting to stay in Rivendell. She would stand by his side just like she always should have. She had always valued deeds higher than words and maybe that was where her biggest fault lay.

She would have never forgive herself if something was to happen to Galaren while she wasn't there to help him.

On the other hand, going back to Lórien now would do nothing to solve whatever issues they might be having. She was not naive enough to think that Galaren will be pleased to see her back.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the gentle murmur of voices coming from the shaded path that crawled below the terrace she stood upon. She looked down and allowed her curiosity to win, taking a step back into the shadows to better conceal her presence.

Soon it became obvious that the newcomers wouldn't take notice of her even if she would be sitting on the railing at full display. She doubted if they noticed anything besides each other.

Lithien smiled to herself watching as Aragorn and Arwen passed below her, holding hands and smiling. They were usually much more mindful of who could see them and she really couldn't blame them for that.

Neither could she completely understand them. Love however, fortunately for everyone involved, was not meant to be understood. It was to be felt, raw and honest in its intensity. She knew both of them well enough to know how committed they were to each other and how happy they were in those rare moments when there were no concerns to hunt either of them. She watched their love blooming from childish infatuation into something deeper and more profound.

A whisper of steps surprised her enough to make her act on instincts, even if she knew that there was no actual danger. Not in Rivendell. Her hand only found air as she spun towards the sound.

'Well if it isn't my lucky day' Legolas said, a smile brightening his face. 'Unless it is your common practice to carry around hidden weapons, even when you are being told not to?'

Lithien relaxed and straightened, regarding the prince carefully. His disposition reminded her about the first conversation they've shared. One that quickly spiraled out of control. After that they weren't showing much sympathy toward each other. She wasn't entirely sure what to make of this sudden change.

'Hardly, my lord' she replied. 'It is merely a precaution. I usually carry my weapons out for everyone to see.'

And there was that slight cringe she had expected to see, swiftly exchanged with another smile. Lithien was starting to wonder what was he planning to achieve by acting like this, if not another argument, when she was, yet again, surprised.

'And you're carrying them for a reason…' he shook his head slightly, almost as if to himself. 'But that won't do. I have a name and I would be glad if you would start to use it' he took few more steps toward the railing and glanced into the, now empty, garden below, continuing before she got the chance to respond.

'You seemed thoughtful when I saw you… Am I interrupting something?'

She was willing to bet, that he had heard Aragorn talking when he approached.

'Not at all' she dropped the pleasantry this time. 'If anything, I would find a distraction pleasing.'

She wasn't fond of such a forced familiarity, but she decided quite some time ago to give up on whatever petty grievances she came up with. She wasn't entirely faultless here, that much she could admit. But her problem, is she even had one, laid with the Woodland King, not with his son, however annoying he could be.

If doing something as mundane as forgoing a title was going to help them start fresh, it was all too easy to oblige.

After all she was only talking to him in such a manner, because it was something to be expected from a noble born lady.

Legolas, not privy to her thoughts, only smiled and offered her a hand.

'Walk with me then. We will have a chance to finish the conversation that was so rudely interrupted last time.'

Lithien nodded her assent and smiled, but chose to walk on the other side of the ellon.

'Forgive me, but I would like to spare my ribs any unnecessary poking' she decided to explain, not sure if he had taken offence.

She despised, when talking with people felt like an attempt to thread a swamp.

'So the troll did get you after all' the prince commented, his smile turning into a grin when he spied her surprise. 'And here I thought, that it was only something Elladan used to spite his brother. I should warn you – Elrohir is planning to get revenge for the last tongue-lashing he got.'

'He needs to address this with his father then' her face scrunched up in a grimace. 'It was not a first time when I have called him an idiot. He is well used to that by now.'

'I have no doubts about it' he chuckled and they turned into a shaded alley. Lithien was playing well, but he could easily sense her apprehension. He didn't mind though; from what he had managed to find out, she had plenty of reasons to be careful with offering her trust.

'If I recall, our interrupted conversation revolved mostly around bruised ribs…'

'And it still does' she interrupted him with a smirk. 'I was, however, fully aware of the risk…'

'The troll could have easily ripped you in two. I am glad that you are unharmed.'

Lithien couldn't quail the suspicion blossoming in her chest – she only hoped that she kept it well out of her eyes. He sounded honest, when she expected the words forced out only by the power of good manners. She could believe in an attempt to make amends, but such a blatant change? Hardly possible.

She had no idea, what should have happened during her absence to warrant that. Especially since she made a certain effort to remain unlikable.

'And I do remember that I was in the middle of apologizing for my behavior during the party when Elladan decided to interrupt us' Legolas continued, changing the topic and ignoring the fact that he obviously made a step too far a second ago.

'There is no need for that' the elleth raised her hand to stop whatever words he might have ready. 'I accepted you apology though I didn't have the chance to voice it out at the time. And in all honesty, we are even. I know, I hadn't make the easiest companion.'

She already admitted to plenty of wrongdoings today. Doing so a few more times wasn't even difficult.

Legolas rewarded her with another smile and she had to fight an urge to ask what he was hiding behind it. He will tell her, in time, if she will be patient enough. And even if he won't, there were several people she suspected to be involved with his sudden change of mind.

She didn't have to be gentle with either of them.

'Well then, at least let me praise your sword-wielding skills' Legolas said, turning the conversation in a different direction. He could see that things weren't going the way he had planned. Lithien was upset with something before he had found her and she was reluctant to believe him, even if his intentions were pure from the moment he decided to seek her out. 'I have not had the chance to do so yet.

He knew how to pick his battles. And he already knew enough.

It was Lithien turn to smile. She took pride in her abilities and she wasn't humble enough to pretend that the compliment did not please her. And it was an easy thing to talk about.

'Thank you. But I have to say that you have also greatly impressed me.'

She had no doubt that the past will eventually become an obstacle that will have to be addressed. For now though, it could still be ignored.

With only a moment of hesitation, she wormed her arm into the crook of his elbow and gently rested her hand upon his forearm. She turned her eyes down before she could felt his, boring into her face. She really hoped that they were at least a bit surprised.

Time will tell if she was right in her judgment.