Chapter 14 – Running Out of Reasons to Run
Kwest watched as Jude ran out of the Studio, leaving Tommy standing at the door, tears falling freely. She ran past him, without noticing and out the front door. This was his cue to go find her. He had promised her, and now he had a chance to fulfill that promise.
He looked down at Angie, quietly drawing on some paper that Sadie had given her. He glanced up at Sadie, and then towards the door that Jude had just ran out of. Sadie nodded, signaling that she understood. She walked out from around the desk, sitting down next to Angie. They began to talk quietly, and soon, Sadie was drawing right alongside the little girl. Kwest got up, smiling softly. He rushed out the door, hoping he would be able to catch up to Jude.
He had no idea where she was headed, but when he watched her leave, she had turned left, so Kwest did the same thing. He scanned the street, seeing a blonde head in the distance, sitting on an empty park bench, her head in her hands.
He sped up, anxious to get to her. He pushed his own thoughts out of his head, trying to focus on Jude. Kwest had a thousand questions echoing in his mind, and Tommy would have some explaining to do, but it would have to wait. Right now, Jude needed someone, and that was the only thing that mattered.
"Jude." Kwest said, causing the girl to look up in surprise. She looked away, trying to control the tears she knew were falling. Kwest sat down, wrapping his arms around Jude, mentally telling her it would be alright. Maybe he was telling himself it was going to be alright, because frankly, he wasn't so sure anymore. Everything was coming undone, and Kwest wasn't sure what the next few days would bring. It seemed that everyone was unraveling, and Kwest couldn't imagine what it was like for Jude. She was right in the middle of everything, her heart being torn apart.
"I can't do this Kwest. I can't go back there. I'm through, I quit. It's too much to handle, and I can't take it anymore." She said, rambling on without realizing what she was saying. "It just hurts so much. I can't even think about it. I want to trust him, but I can't. I don't want to believe him, but I do. I want to smile, but I am crying. I want to just run away, but I can't seem to get more than three blocks. It's like everything has been turned around, and now I have to learn to walk backwards just to make it make sense." Jude finished, not sure what she was trying to say. There were all these feelings inside of her, and she didn't know how to get them out.
"It's ok to feel that way, Jude." Kwest said, squeezing her tighter. He pulled back just enough to see Jude's face, locking eyes with her before he continued. "Nobody expects you to trust him, he broke your heart. It's going to be a long time before those pieces are put back together. It's also ok to believe him, to believe in him, even if you don't trust him. That is a part of learning to trust him again, you have to believe that he has the capability to make things right, to earn your trust. It is going to hurt, and you are going to cry Jude, and there is nothing wrong with that. There will be moments like this when all you want to do is leave, moments you just need to break away, to escape for a bit. That's okay too." He continued, watching Jude carefully, praying that she understood what he was saying.
"But that voice Jude, the one that stopped you from getting more than three blocks away, that's your heart talking, and you need to listen to it. It won't let you walk away because it knows that you need to stay. As much as it hurts, you need to keep going, because if you quit, if you runaway, you are not just running away from Tommy, you are running away from yourself and your music too." Kwest stopped, glancing over at Jude. Ever so slowly she started to nod her head.
"Your right." she said quietly. "I have to do this, for me." She looked at Kwest, smiling softly. His speech had made her think about what she was doing, to help her organize all of the feelings inside her heart. "Thanks Kwest."
"Anytime, Jude." He said, breathing a sigh of relief. "I promised I wouldn't let you quit, and I meant it. Besides, if you leave, who is going to help me with Cyndi?" He said, lightening the mood slightly. It worked; Jude's face broke into a grin, the memory flashing in her mind. "What do you say we get some coffee before we head back?" He suggested, wanting to give Jude a little bit of time to collect herself. Besides, he was guessing it was going to be a stressful day, and he needed all of the energy he could get.
"Sounds good, I actually have some ideas for a song. I suddenly have some new inspiration." Kwest nodded, understanding exactly what she meant.