Title: Interesting Dynamics
Author: ZombieJazz
Fandom: Chicago PD
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Chicago PD and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Ethan has been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.
Summary: Hank and Erin are forced to re-explore their complicated 'family' dynamic when an unexpected 'family emergency' causes Voight to have to deal with demons related to his wife's death, his failings in parenting, and the challenges his work has created for his family and for his ability to be the father he wants to see himself as.
Justin sat up straighter in the armchair, looking away from the television, as he heard the key turn in the front door's lock. He didn't declare himself quickly enough, though – or he'd caused too much a creaked with his movement and distraction with the glow of TV, because his father's figure had barely stepped inside the door when he saw his hand moving for his gun and his other arm pushing his little bro back out the door.
Justin held up his hands, straightening even more. "Only me, Pop."
There was quiet and then he stepped more into the entranceway and stared at him. There was a clear look of disapproval to the gaze – but Justin hadn't really expected anything less. Thankfully they didn't have too much time to get into it right then.
"J!" Ethan called out and came around the corner and near charged him. "You came home!"
Fuck. The kid was a mess. When Erin said he'd taken the brunt of a fight, he hadn't quite pictured him looking that mangled. Kid too more than the brunt of it by the looks of it. But the kid was still so fucking small. Seriously, Justin wasn't sure that he'd grown at all since the last time he'd seen him – and it had been a good fucking long while. One visit from the time he'd gotten out of jail and then headed out to Basic. Kid clearly hadn't hit puberty yet – or at least not the fucking accompanying growth spurt. No wonder other kids were wailing on him. Well that, and Ethan had a tendency to be a little bitch. He had likely been a pain in the ass to the wrong person. Justin could sorta relate to that.
"Damn straight, I came home," he told the little fucking kid, batting playfully at him and wrestling him into a headlock, giving him a good noogie and then some fake punches to the stomach that Ethan seemed happy to oblige and do some jumping to avoid them like they were in a full on brawl.
"Watch his ribs," Hank muttered at him. "Not sitting with him for hours at the hospital again."
Justin gave his dad a look but released Ethan. He didn't want to be the one getting in shit for hurting his brother. And he also didn't want to be the one having to do a medical run with Ethan. He'd experienced both of those things in the past and the accompanying wrath of his dad. Wasn't down with dealing with that that night.
"Dad took me to boxing!" Ethan said with some enthusiasm after Justin let him go.
Justin gave him a surprised look at that and then looked back to Dad. "You're taking him to boxing and you're worried about me busting his ribs?"
Hank gave him an unimpressed look and then held out a brown bag of groceries at Ethan, who'd gone to staring at the TV screen where Justin had had the game on while he waited for his dad and bro to get home. He hadn't wanted to touch base by phone so he'd settled in for what he knew could be a bit of a wait. He'd sort of expected Ethan to be up segregated in the bedroom when he'd gotten there based on the briefing Erin had given him but the kid hadn't been. He hadn't been sure if that was a good sign or not. He knew if it was him he'd likely have snuck out and gotten in shit. He wasn't sure Ethan actually had the balls for that, though. So he figured he was with dad. But that wasn't necessarily a good sign either. Though, this looked pretty good.
"Turn off the television and go wash and chop the veg," he said sternly.
Ethan gave him a cautious look but didn't put up any arguments. That was the smart thing to do. It was basically always the smart thing to do with Pop. Justin had had enough arguments to know that there was a winner and there was a loser. And the winner was always the same. It was usually better to save yourself the grief. Though, it'd taken him a long-ass time to figure that all out. Maybe he was better for it. And, maybe Ethan was smarter than him if he already had it sorted in his own head that he was currently in the position where he should just shut the fuck up.
Justin held out the remote to the kid, who gave the Cubs game one more longing look before flicking it off. Likely the first bit of screentime the kid had had in days. Probably the last bit he was going to have for months. And he'd gotten all of thirty seconds. Then Ethan stepped over to their dad and took the bag, starting to move for the kitchen.
"You're staying for dinner, right?" Ethan asked with some timid hopefulness. "We got pork chops."
"Hell ya, I'm staying," Justin gave him. "Think I'm going skip out on dad's chops and chilling with you?"
Ethan gave him a small smile and glanced at their dad again, who still was giving him a bit of a glare, so the kid just sunk in on himself and slinked away. As soon as he was sorta outta sight and maybe sorta outta earshot, Dad turned the glare right to him.
"You better not be AWOL for this," he spat and pointed.
Justin held up his hands in some surrender at him. "It's legit, Pop. I got a mileage pass. I'm just here for the night."
Pop put his hands on his hips and eyed him.
"Bit of a waste of a pass and quite the drive for an overnight," Dad put back to him in that tone. That fucking tone that dad was expert at. He could put you right back into your place in about two seconds flat. Didn't matter if you'd gone into the conversation thinking you had it. If you thought you were prepared. Had decided you weren't going to back down. Dad still fucking knew how make sure you knew exactly where you were in the food chain that was their family.
Justin sighed and gestured at the couch dad was standing in front of. Pop just kept giving him that look – not budging. So Justin sat down anyways, reclaiming the armchair.
"Yeah, well, maybe it was a waste of a trip if you're taking him to boxing and grilling him chops. 'Cuz you guys all good now?"
Dad just kept looking at him. And he had the upper hand now too. But Justin had handed it to him. He'd sat down. Taken the submissive position. Let Dad tower over him. Like he liked.
"Bought you a steak when you walked out of the gates, didn't I?" Pop put back to him. It was clearly a smack-down statement. Make sure he really knew where he stood.
Justin looked down and shook his head. "Yeah, OK, Pop," he allowed but then went right back to his eyes. "Just that Erin said you had him on a bit of a bread and water regime for the first four-eight there."
Dad nearly rolled his eyes – not that he ever really fully rolled them. But he got that look that was just as good. He shook his head and looked off into the corner, his tongue popping out his cheek on the one-side. His clearly annoyed stance.
"Erin called," Dad put flatly.
Justin shrugged. "Yeah, Pop, she called. What'd you expect?"
Pop pointed at him, there was some clear anger in his face. But when wasn't there? "I expect my kids to fucking …" he just shook his head and looked away again – not even completing the thought.
Justin watched him for a moment but then shoved his hand in his pocket. "It's all good, Pop," he said and handed out the slightly crumbled photo paper to him. "I didn't come just to rag on you. Wanted to show you this."
Pop eyed him for a moment but then stepped forward and took the paper. It seemed to take a minute for him to clue in what it was but then his face changed. It softened.
"Oh, wow," Pop let out quietly.
Justin knew Dad was happy about the pregnancy. Excited. Excited to be a Popa? Or to have another Voight? Another fucking boy. Pop hadn't exactly expressed what was going through his head. But Pop never did. Maybe it was more he was happy for him. Taking it as a sign he was getting his head on straight. Or that he'd done right in the end? Justin didn't quite know but he did know that every time the baby got mentioned that dad changed. When Olive was around – he changed.
Pop shook the photo back at him. "You could've emailed me this," he said – but there wasn't an angry tone – a tell-off – in it.
Justin shrugged. "Nah," he said. "Then I wouldn't have gotten to see you looking at him."
"Mmm," Pop allowed and gazed the ultrasound photo for another moment and then handed it back out to Justin.
Justin shook his head and made a small gesture with his hand. "That's your copy."
Pop gave a little nod and gazed at the photo again. He finally backed up and sat down on the couch, still looking at it. Justin really wished he could read Dad's mind. It wasn't often that he saw the softer side of dad anymore. Sometimes he got glimpses. But it wasn't like when he was a kid and Mom could bring it out of him all the time. That he had those moments of being a really fun dad. A good dad. They did normal, fun family stuff. Fishing and ball games and the pier. Backyard barbecues and road trips. Camping. Some amusement parks along the way. They'd been a pretty typical family. But somewhere along the way that got lost. Dad got darker. Life got rougher. Things just got so fucking complicated. Justin wasn't sure that Ethan ever really got to experience their mundane family – and any remnants of it that had been left completely disappeared with Mom gone. Serving out what was left of his teens with just Dad – dealing with Mom dying – that'd been hard enough. Growing up with just dad? Especially the way dad was now? That wasn't no walk in the park for Ethan.
"Olive got her heart set on any names yet?" Pop asked while still looking at the shadowy outline of his baby boy on that paper.
"She seems pretty set on Henry," Justin said and saw Dad's head snap up again. There was some surprise there – not quite disapproval but surprise. "After what you guys went through. What you did for her. For us."
Pop just shook his head. "No," he said flatly. "You don't want to do that to the little guy."
Justin shrugged. "I don't know. Henry is kinda cute."
He got a patronizing look for that one. "Yea, real cute," Pop provided.
Justin allowed a little smile. "We'll see," he allowed. "See if it suits him when he gets here. But he's just kicking at Olive – so we're thinking, might be appropriate."
"Mmm," Dad allowed, his head bobbing with a small concealed laugh and a hidden smile. He looked up then, though. "Olive's doing good, though? With the move to the base? The pregnancy?"
"Yeah," Justin provided. "Real good. Making friends with some of the other girls. Starting to get the nursery ready. Trying to get another mileage pass for the long weekend. We were going to come in. See you. Her mom. Get the crib."
Dad nodded in acknowledgement of that and tapped on the photo. "And he's good?"
"Yeah," Justin agreed. "Doc says he's real good. Good size. Good heart rate."
Dad nodded again and just kept looking at the photo. Justin wondered if it had him thinking about Mom. Or their family. Or the times he'd seen the ultrasounds when him and Ethan were on the way. He could remember seeing the photos from some of Ethan's. But he didn't remember dad looking quite like this when they were around. But this was different. The whole context was so incredibly different. It'd been making Justin think of Mom a lot too. Fuck, it was making him think about all kinds of things. Things that had never even crossed his mind or registered before. But with his own boy on the way – it was different now. It had him thinking about Pop a lot too. Understanding him a bit differently. Getting it a bit more. And that's even before Lil Henry got there. Fuck. It'd be even worse when the lil guy got there. Justin was starting to think more and more Pop was just going to have been right – about more than he was ready to admit yet.
"Look, Pop," Justin finally said after letting the man sit there for a bit, "I know you're going to do what you're going to do. But I thought maybe if I came out and we talked face-to-face rather than me just trying to stick my nose into the family business on the phone …"
Dad slowly looked up at him. The disapproval was starting to crease there again but at least he wasn't all out barking at him yet. Justin let out a slow breath.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking," Justin said and gestured at the ultrasound. "With the baby on the way. I think I'm just … starting to get things a bit more. Like what I put you … and Ma through."
Pop didn't give him anything to that but did sit back in the couch and kept his eyes on him. That's really all you could ask for with Pop a lot of the time. It was actually a pretty good sign. At least he was being listened to.
"I keep thinking about how much it's going to kill me if I get deployed. To have to be away from my son. From Olive," Justin said and saw dad open his mouth to say something so he rushed to add. "But I'll do it. For my family. And the service. This country. I get you being away with work was about that too. You did it for us. And for the city. But you being tied up with work and sending your boy away? That's two different things, Pop."
Pop let out a noise and crossed his arms. "Justin, think back on what it was like around here with your mom gone. With you a teenager. Think about how that turned out."
"Yeah, Pop, that is what I'm thinking about. And, I think I would've been about ten times worse if I didn't have you at least checking in on me, looking out for me."
"I still do both of those things for your brother – while he's at school."
Justin sighed loudly and sat forward. "Dad, c'mon. Private school? Fucking boarding school? Us? He's never going to fit in there. He's always going to be a mark."
"He's fine," Dad said dismissively.
"Pop, he's not fucking fine. Look, Eth isn't like me and Erin."
Pop let out a sound at that. He was clearly amused and went back to staring at the blank screen on the television. "No, he's not."
"I know," Justin agreed. "He's a fucking weirdo. He's a pain in the ass."
"You were a fucking pain in the ass," Pop said and gave him a stern look. "Your brother is just … your brother."
"Yeah," Justin pressed. "And my brother isn't made for some preppy boarding school. He needs Chicago. And he needs you, Pop. Look, I get having him home again won't be easy. But Erin –"
"But what Erin?" Pop put to him. "You two. You're in your 20s now. Erin's almost 30, J. You two are supposed to be living your life at this point. And, I'm just – JUST – getting you both to the point you've got your feet under you. And, every time it seems like I fucking get you there, the fucking rug gets pulled out again. What you – and your sister – need to be focusing on is career and your own families. Getting settled down. Stable. Living your fucking lives. Not worrying about this."
"Pop, he's our baby brother," Justin said with some regret. "He's a fucking pain in the ass weirdo but he's our fucking pain in the ass weirdo. We love him. And, maybe me and Erin are at the point we've got our heads after enough out of our own asses and you've helped us get our keep stable enough on the ground that we're in a position we can actually help."
Pop snorted at that and looked at him. "J, you're in the army. You've got your own pain in the ass on the way—"
"Family, Pop," Justin said. "Family is everything. You said it all the time. I talked about it with Olive and I know it's not much but we'll start coming into town every chance we get. Weekends. Holidays. We wanted to anyways. We wanted you to be a part of the baby's life. And, hell, you could send Magoo out to us sometimes. The place on base is real nice. We got space. Nothing fancy – but we got space for him to come crash with us when you need the break or need the help."
Pop just made a small sound of acknowledgement that he'd spoken but didn't add anything to the discussion. Didn't argue against it or agree to it.
"Yea, I know it's not much, Dad, but it's what I can give ya for now. Erin will help too. You know she'd bend over backwards for you and Magoo. She's real worried right now. Not just about Eth. You too, Dad. You've got to be beating yourself up over all this."
His eyes came back to him sternly – warning him not to assess how he was feeling, not to push much farther on how he was raising his youngest.
"I don't know if you've made any decisions yet, Pop, but please just think about it a bit more before you commit to anything. Maybe it'd be good for all of us to have Eth around. Might be good for you too. You know … someone to come home too?"
He heard Pop flare his nostrils a bit at that. So Justin backed down and stood up in the process, gesturing with his thumb off to the kitchen.
"So, am I allowed to go spend some time with him?"
Pop gave him a look but allowed a small nod. Justin gave him a little smile.
"He looks like shit," he gave his dad.
Pop made a face. "Six stitches in his face. Two cracked ribs."
Justin shook his head. "Holy shit. Guess boxing is a good plan then."
"At least maybe he'll fucking learn to keep his hands up and his head down," Pop muttered.
Justin nodded and retreated for the kitchen. But he sure as hell didn't think that was something Ethan was going to get in one lesson. It'd sure taken way more hard knocks than that for Justin to clue into some of that shit. Maybe Pops would direct things a little differently this time around – because Justin kind of thought Pops might need this as much as Eth did.