A/N: I'm serving up one of my notorious "plot sandwiches" today. Lemon, followed by plot, followed by lemon.
Much love going out my lovely ladies, algonquirt and mskathy. They know my characters as well as I do (sometimes better) and always tell me when I'm messing up. Big thanks to all the readers and reviewers here too … thanks for joining us on the ride!
A few of the great fics that I've been reading lately: Mr. Horrible (of course), The Trip Home (I swear, I'm the last one to join that party), Poughkeepsie, Bella and the Billionaire and A Life Extraordinary.
BPOV
I had three kinds of dreams about Teddy.
The first kind was happy … dreams where we were together. Sometimes I dreamed about the time before, when we were young and innocent and had our very own secret world to share. Other times, I would dream that we were grown up but had somehow found one another. And we were happy. In those dreams, Teddy always looked the same as he did when we were young – just taller and older. I always woke from those dreams feeling good.
Bad dreams were very bad indeed. The black monster (I still thought of it as that, even though I knew its name now) played prominently in those dreams. It had never bothered much with us as children, but in my imagination, I was forever pursued by it, waking as it landed on my back or prepared to tear my throat out. The worst were the ones where it hurt Teddy while I stood by, unable to help.
Then there were the really good dreams. In which Teddy came back to me, not as a boy, but a man. And loved me as a woman. I woke up from those dreams, sweating and gasping, my orgasm still echoing in my body.
There was something a bit pervy about having a sex dream featuring the boy you had a crush on when you were 13. Even if he was all grown up in the dream. What did it say about me that my first crush was still my best sexual fantasy?
Maybe it says that your first crush was the smartest, handsomest, sweetest guy in the world. Who has since turned into the smartest, handsomest, sweetest – and sexiest – man in the world.
I was interrupted in the middle of one of those really good dreams by that same wonderful man who was sound asleep against my back. He seemed to be having his own good dream, which was what woke me.
Edward let out another moan as his erection pushed hard against my thigh. He was still naked, and his arousal was leaving a damp trail on my leg. I was hot and bothered from the dream, and from last night.
God, I want him so bad.
The thought of him inside me, loving me, nearly drove me out of my mind.
Neither of us is ready yet.
Sighing, I got out of bed, pulled on a shirt and went to the bathroom. When I returned, Edward was sprawled across the entire bed, arms outflung. Bed hog.
I pulled off the shirt, moved his arm and wiggled back into his embrace. He made an adorable, snorting little grunt as he was startled out of whatever fabulous dream he had been having. And discovered a mostly naked woman in his arms.
"Bella?" he slurred. "Oh God." Edward shifted his erection away from my thigh and struggled up against the covers. "Sorry," he mumbled.
"That's okay," I said in the semi-darkness. It was just after five in the morning. I took a close look at his face as he winced in pain. "Do you still hurt?" He nodded. "I left the medicine in the bathroom if you want it." Edward stumbled out of bed and wandered from the room stark naked, which made me giggle. I heard him cursing violently in the bathroom as he disinfected his mouth. Then he came back in. Drooling.
"Bedder," he said, climbing back in beside me. I snuggled close and ran my fingers up and down his back. Edward made a little sound of happiness and showed every sign of going right back to sleep.
Nononononono!
"Hey," I whispered to him. His eyes came back open. "I wish you wouldn't go back to sleep." He pushed his hair back from his face and let his gaze wander down my body. Edward got that half-scared, half-desirous look in his eyes. I took one of his hands and placed it on my breast.
"It's okay for me to do this?" he asked. Against my thigh, I could feel his morning arousal leap to attention.
"It's more than okay for you to do this," I whispered. He brought his other hand up, and slowly caressed me. He watched in fascination as my nipples hardened under his touch. His eyes flashed up to mine, darkening with lust.
"Does that feel good, when I touch you like that?" he asked. I nodded, biting my lip.
"Yes," I said a little breathlessly. "I want you to touch me. All over." I watched the war between hunger and insecurity battle in his eyes, then felt his fingers start to circle my nipples, making me moan with desire. His touch was light and maddeningly arousing. After years of a man who had been too rough, too possessive, Edward's gentle hands were like heaven. After several minutes of this, I wanted to scream with need.
"Edward," I breathed, taking his hand off my breast and pulling it down my body. I could feel him tense up. "Don't be scared, I'll show you how, my love."
Before he had time to stress about what he was about to do, I guided his hand down my belly. It slid over my abdomen and down between my thighs on top of my panties. I kept my hand on top of his as he traced my sex through my underwear. I realized with embarrassment that I was wet all the way through. His fingers rubbed gently up and down me, exploring. When I could stand it no longer, I brought his hand back up and tugged off my panties, tossing them aside.
I moved his fingers downward, slowly guiding him through the soft, damp curls that covered my sex. I was soaked and slippery, making it easy for him to run his fingers over me. Edward was barely breathing beside me, either in concentration or pure nerves.
I guided him along, skimming my opening from bottom to top, finally making contact with the hard little nub at the top. I couldn't hold back a gasp when he touched my aching clit for the first time; I needed this so badly. I gripped my fingers around his and guided him very carefully, running gentle circles around it. He was a quick study, and it wasn't long before everything felt comfortable enough for me to let go of his hand and fall back on to the pillows and into the sensations he was causing between my legs.
Edward's long, slender fingers teased all around my sweet spot. The fact that he was utterly inexperienced and had no way of knowing how fast and hard he was about to make me come was all the more arousing. He was just lost in the thrill of touching a woman intimately for the first time. Pretty good for a first-timer, I thought hazily. As if to prove my unspoken point, he ran two fingers experimentally down either side of my clit, giving it a gentle squeeze. That sent me rocketing over the edge.
My back arched and I had to bite back a scream as my orgasm ripped through me. I put my hand over his so that he didn't pull away too soon. When I finally came down, I looked up at him tentatively. His eyes were wide with wonder, and my heart came leaping up into my mouth. I could see Teddy in him more clearly at that moment than I ever had before.
"Was that … good?" he asked anxiously. I let out a gasping little laugh.
"What do you think?" I asked, turning my flushed face to his and kissing his top lip. "Yes, that was wonderful." I felt his erection resting against my hip, and I reached down to run my hand over him. "You enjoyed it too?" Edward blushed hotly.
"Sorry," he mumbled, embarrassed. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been like a teenager lately."
"It's normal," I told him, rubbing him up and down, making him bite his lip with pleasure. "It's so normal, Edward."
"Nothing … normal … about … me," he moaned, pushing into my hand.
"You feel pretty normal to me," I whispered, picking up the pace a little. "Actually, you feel much more than normal. You feel big. And hard. And perfect." I punctuated each word with a firm down-stroke. His eyes were closed, his hands were clutching at the sheets, and I knew he was close.
"So … not … perfect," he said, panting. That pierced my heart a little, that even on the brink of ecstasy, he couldn't accept that he was worthy of love. I leaned forward and pushed my forehead against his, my hand moving urgently over his hot, twitching erection between us.
"Open your eyes," I whispered. He did, his green eyes wide and frantic as his body wound up. "You're perfect for me, Edward." He looked back at me for a split second, then cried my name as his orgasm burst through him.
He rested for a couple of minutes, then wiped both of us off before turning back to pull me into his arms. My naked body curved into his, and I'd never felt closer to a human being in my entire life than I did at that moment.
Edward held me tight against him for a while, then his arms started to relax a little and his breathing got deeper. But just as he drifted into sleep, he sighed.
"Love you, Bella," he mumbled. And then he was gone.
I waited a few more minutes until I was sure he was under. Then I pulled back and softly kissed his forehead.
"I love you too, Teddy," I whispered.
~~ - ~~
EPOV
The next two weeks were a blur of final papers and assignments, going to class and studying. Exams started on December 12, and the days were flying past.
To make matters worse, I was uneasy – for no apparent reason. In the span of those two weeks, I had two panic attacks and another unexplained flashback. Most of my dreams were terrifying … an endless series of nightmares through which the black monster stalked. The few dreams that weren't nightmares were unabashedly erotic. I had even had a wet dream for the first time since I was a teenager. Thank God it was a night that Bella didn't sleep over.
The nights that she did, I slept like a rock. No nightmares, no dreams. Just sleep. And waking with her warm, fragrant body in my arms. Heaven.
We spent as many nights together as we could manage because we rarely saw each other during the day. Being in two very separate academic programs didn't help, although our buildings weren't terribly far apart. One of us could usually make a mad dash through the constant fall rain to steal half an hour together. On one such trip to Tolman Hall, we ran into Tyler, that guy who had been bugging Bella for a date. Bella, her fingers intertwined with mine, was deep in conversation with Alice. Bella had pointed him out to me once before at a distance, but this was our first time seeing each other face to face. Tyler's eyes narrowed when he saw me, staring me up and down with an incredulous look on his face.
The man standing beside him looked up in mild curiosity. They were standing a respectable distance away but facing directly toward me.
"What's up, Ty?" he said, following his friend's gaze. Now the two of them were staring at me. I fidgeted beside Bella, resisting the urge to twitch at the knot of my tie. "Who's the Boy Accountant standing with your little Rapunzel?"
"I could be wrong," said Tyler speculatively, "but I think he is Alice Cullen's brother."
"Alice Cullen?" said his friend. "Oh, the short-haired chick with the freaky eyes? I guess their parents can only breed weirdness because that guy looks like a spaz." I felt every muscle in my body tense up as anger flooded into me. Alice's eyes suddenly darted over to mine.
"Edward," she said in a low, warning tone. "Just wait." Her eyes went blank, and Bella turned to look at me in surprise.
"What is it?" she asked. I didn't answer, just kept looking at Alice, waiting. "Edward, what's wrong?" I let go of her hand, my eyes never leaving the two simpering idiots in front of me. Bella swung around and saw Tyler and his friend standing there, both of them laughing at me. At us.
"Can't believe she's fucking that r-tard," said Tyler, looking right at me. "She must be a serious loser. Glad I didn't waste any time boning her."
"No hitting. It won't be necessary," said Alice in a steely voice, her eyes snapping open. And with that I was gone. "You know, people who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder sometimes have uncontrollable fits of anger," I heard Alice say to Bella as I moved forward.
I watched the smirks drop off their faces as I covered the distance between us in record time. I might have glasses and plastered hair and a tie … but I wasn't small or skinny. Or afraid.
I was enraged.
"Tyler, isn't it?" I said in a low, dangerous voice. He backed up a step, alarmed by the look on my face. He held up his hands in a defensive posture, and his friend looked like he wanted to be somewhere else entirely.
"Yeah, what's it to you, freak?" Tyler responded sullenly.
"It's nothing to me. Except that I just heard you insult me, my parents, my brother and sister and my girlfriend. And that, you stupid motherfucker, is plenty to me." Alice had told me once before that I was the scariest looking person in the world when I was angry and, judging my Tyler's reaction to my appearance, I'd have to say she was right. His eyes were wide and terrified, and his friend was edging quickly away.
"Dude, I was just talking … you know … nothing personal, I mean," he stammered. I clenched my hands into fists to keep from grabbing him. This was a public space, and laying a beating on him here would get all of us in trouble. Not that I knew anything about laying a beating on anyone; I had never won a fight in my life. Emmett had always rescued me as a teen when things got physical. But it was remarkable how rarely that had to happen, especially as adults. Tyler was a bully. And bullies almost always backed down when confronted by their victims.
Being a card-carrying lunatic never hurt either.
"Nothing personal that you just called my girlfriend a loser?" I snarled, feeling my lip curling. "Nothing personal?" I let my voice rise in volume, just a little bit. Friend was now gone; he just vanished like a trap door had been sprung underneath him. Tyler took another step back.
"You're a fucking crazy man, you know that?" he stammered.
"Yeah, I do," I replied, leaning in closer into his face. "I am a fucking crazy man. I even have the papers to prove it. So don't fuck with my family or the woman I love. Don't even think about being anything other than courteous to them. Or you will find out exactly how crazy I am." I let every bit of my rage bubble up into my face. Tyler's eyes widened so far I thought his eyeballs were going to fall out. If I hadn't been so furious, I probably would have found this amusing.
"Okay. Okay. Just leave me alone, man," he said nervously, stepping away. He backed slowly away, picked up his bag and fled. I stood there for a moment, shaking with anger. It would take a few minutes for the rage to drain away from body.
~~ - ~~
BPOV
I couldn't hear most of what Edward said to Tyler, but the body language alone told the story. Within less than a minute, Tyler had taken off with his tail between his legs, casting a wary glance behind him. Edward watched him go, his body stiff with tension. Not knowing how to handle this in the least, I turned to Alice for advice.
"Don't go near him for a bit," she advised. "It takes him a while to calm down after an outburst like that. If you get in his face, he'll scream at you." Alice suddenly grinned. "Or in your case, he might throw you down across one of the tables and …"
"Okay, I get the picture," I said hastily, rolling my eyes. "What on earth did he say to Tyler?"
"Not much," said Alice, dragging a chair out for me. "It's all in the approach. Edward is terrifying when he's angry. But it's all window dressing. He doesn't get physical, really doesn't even threaten to do anything. He just looks very, very scary." Alice grinned. "I don't think you'll get any trouble from Tyler again." We sat there for a moment while I tried to figure out how I felt about what had just happened.
"What are you thinking?" Alice asked softly. I struggled with my answer for a moment.
"That no one's ever stood up for me like that," I finally replied. "I'd rather he didn't make a habit of it. But I have to say, it felt pretty darn good."
~~ - ~~
EPOV
I tapped softly on my bedroom door, then pushed it open. Bella was curled up in my bed in one of my t-shirts, reading a sheaf of notes.
"Hi," I said awkwardly. "May I come in?" Bella smiled and dropped the notes on the bedside table.
"It's your room, Edward." I edged in nervously and sat down in my desk chair. "How was the rest of your day? Did you scare anybody else shitless?" I blushed scarlet with embarrassment. I opened my mouth, and word vomit came spewing forth.
"Bella, I am sorry. So sorry. I don't know what happened, I just heard what he said and I lost my temper. He was saying such terrible things, and I had to do something. I didn't mean to embarrass you or Alice, and I promise it will never happen again." I had to stop to take a breath. I watched in horror as Bella hopped off the bed and stalked toward the door. "Please don't leave, please just talk to …" I stopped abruptly as she closed the door.
And locked it.
She sauntered back across my room, and I suddenly realized she wasn't wearing anything except my t-shirt. Her hair was done in one long braid, tapping against her bare thighs as she walked. Bella stopped in front of my chair and leaned over. I could see straight down her shirt to her luscious breasts and beyond.
I was very confused. And very aroused.
"Edward," she said softly. "Thank you for standing up for me today. It meant a lot to me. Can I show you my appreciation?" She asked so sweetly and looked so sexy that my head was spinning. I nodded dumbly. And tipped my head back to receive the searing kiss she planted on my mouth.
I was short of breath when she finally broke it off and slid on to my lap. She straddled me, her mouth capturing mine again. Her fingers ran up and down the back of my neck, then slid around to start loosening my tie.
"Is there anyone else you need me to stand up to?" I mumbled as she yanked off my sweater and sent my shirt flying into the corner of the room. "Because I would gladly do so."
"I'll let you know," she whispered, moaning as my hands slipped under her t-shirt and started tracing the curves of her breasts. I made a little sound of disappointment as Bella slipped out of my grasp and off my lap. She knelt on the floor in front of me and pulled open my jeans. "Lift up, baby," she said, tugging my pants down over my hips. My boxers went with them, releasing my aching hard-on. Bella leaned her elbows on my thighs and wrapped one small hand around me.
She started leaning forward, and I suddenly realized what she was about to do.
"Bella, are you sure … uhnn!" I cried out as Bella's lips slowly descended over the head of my erection. The feeling of her mouth wrapped around me was like nothing I'd ever felt in my life. It was hot, wet and so tight as she made her way back up, sucking the very tip of me. One hand stroked the base of my penis while the other one gently squeezed my balls. I nearly arched out of the chair when her tongue started lapping at the underside of my cock. She reached up and shoved me back down with surprising force, then set a slow, steady rhythm on my penis.
Holy shit, I am getting a blow job!
I made the colossal mistake of looking down at her while she worked me over. Her pink lips were wrapped firmly around me, and she had a look on her face of utter concentration. She pulled her lips away and teased her tongue down my length with a little smile on her lips. Bella was … enjoying this.
That finished me. I could feel the heat starting to build in my testicles, the pressure starting to come in waves through my lower body. Bella's mouth slid down my straining shaft, sucking and licking the whole way. I was writhing in my seat, trying so hard to hold it back but knowing I was fighting a losing battle. I reached down and pushed at her head, but she swatted my hands away.
"Bella," I gasped, nearly incoherent. "Bella … gonna … move or I'm gonna … can't … oh … oh …oh Jesus!" I screamed – loudly – as my orgasm erupted and I blew frantically in her mouth, unable to hold it in another second. My head tipped back in the chair as I sat there, my heart pounding with exertion. Bella got up off her knees and slipped out of the room while I recovered. She returned in a moment with a wide smile and a bottle of water.
"That was …" I panted, "… the best thing … I've ever experienced … in my whole life."
Bella kissed me and smiled.
"That's the idea, love," she whispered.
~~ - ~~
A/N: So, a little shameless self-promotion, first. One of my other stories, Behind Enemy Lines, has been nominated for the May Reader's Choice Awards pick of the month on Cullen Boys Anonymous! If you feel inclined, the voting is taking place at http://cullenboysanonymous[dot]freeforums[dot]org/may-reader-s-choice-awards-poll-vote-here-t1782[dot]html. You have to register for the forums to be able to vote.
Come join us on the thread on Twilighted! Everyone is welcome to float your theories, suggest plot ideas and just generally enjoy some laughs in the community of some terrific writers and readers of Twilight fanfic.