Chapter 14

Jane was up early to head into the station. In truth, she hadn't really slept too much the night before. She wasn't able to quiet her mind once she got home from Maura's. She had kissed Maura. More than once. And Maura kissed her back. How was she supposed to get any sleep after something like that had happened?

As much as she wanted to let her mind linger on the details of the night before she knew she needed to turn her concentration to their current case. Jane had always been very successful over the years at balancing work and personal. She knew she would be able to give her attention to the case and focus on all of the information that would be made available on that day. Just as she knew she would spend time later thinking about the incredible night she had with Maura and what it could mean for them.

She was the first into the office that morning. That was as it should be. Both Korsak and Frost had stayed later yesterday working while she took the night to be with Maura so she hadn't expected to see either of her partners until later in the day.

She got to her desk and checked her email. She had been looking to see if they had been sent the photos from Cedar Junction but they had not yet done so. Korsak seemed certain that they should have the photos sometime today. Even though they could not confirm the actual identity of Walter Stills they really did need to know if the man they watched abduct Allyson Montgomery was Stills or did they have a second man they needed to attempt to identify.

Not seeing any new emails from Cedar Junction, Jane decided to finish reviewing the materials they emailed over to her yesterday. She hadn't looked through the visitors log for Pelton over the last 18 months as she had started working on the copies of letters the prison intercepted both to and from Pelton. Jane had wanted to review the questionable exerts to see if she could find any that might point towards the crime she was investigating. She would review the visitor's log after that.

What she was able to get through yesterday had been odd but nothing Jane necessarily felt helped her cause. So far the letters she had read weren't, in her opinion, written in any sort of code. They seemed to be more like incomplete conversations. It was clear that both Pelton and Stills, who was the only recipient of letters Jane had read to that point, seemed aware that prison official would be reading everything and they worked to keep their topics as vague as possible.

The prison had sent the files over in three emails. Jane had gotten through the first two emails the day before and as she settled into her desk she starting to go through the last file. As she read through the letters, she found it was much of the same thing. The prison seemed to being erring on the side of caution by what they flagged. While Jane didn't understand a lot of what she was reading as it was completely lacking in context, she hadn't seen anything that even remotely connected the letters and murder. Not any references to Pelton's crimes and certainly nothing about the murder she was investigating.

As she worked her way through the last of the email files, she was a little disappointed that there wasn't any letters from or to someone other than Stills. Since they did not know who Stills really was she was hoping to find another name in the files. Perhaps another possible lead. But to that point there wasn't anyone else.

Frost had struck out on family members for Pelton. His parents were deceased and he was an only child. While they were able to find records of two uncles, an aunt and a handful of cousins, none of them lived in or near Boston and it didn't appear as if they ever had much to do with Pelton. That left friends and outside of Jane's review of the last email and an examination of the visitor logs there didn't seem to be much luck with that either.

Jane worked her way through the last of the letters getting slightly frustrated that there didn't seem to be anything of use to her. She had about three more letters to get through when she finally read something that could be of help.

"Remember Walter- the eyes are more than the window to the soul. They are its gatekeeper. Possess the eyes and you possess the soul"

It wasn't much and there was certainly no context to it but it was the first thing Jane had read in the three emails full of writings where their known killer had made a reference to their prime suspect that they could link to Montgomery. Sure it was circumstantial but Jane would take what she could get.

Montgomery's eyes were removed. Pelton had killed two women ten years ago removing their eyes for an unknown reason and now she had a written reference from Pelton to the man they believed was their prime suspect about possessing eyes. Optimistic, Jane worked her way through the rest of writings but didn't find any other reference to eyes or anything else she could use.

She needed to get the photos from Cedar Junction. She checked her email again but the file still had not arrived. She sighed in frustration but turned her attention to the prison visitor's log. They had sent their records for the previous 18 months. As Jane flipped through the pages she found only three names.

Walter Stills was by far Pelton's most frequent visitor. He visited Pelton once a month from the beginning of the records. But, just like Korsak's contact had said, the visits stopped six months ago.

Pelton had two other visitors during that time frame. A Peter Manning had made three visits each about six months apart from each other. According to the logs, Manning was listed as legal counsel for Pelton. Jane made a note to check on Manning. Due to attorney client privilege she doubted that he would be able to disclose the nature of the work he may be doing for Pelton but they could investigate the lawyer to see if he or his firm specialized in anything in particular. Sometimes just knowing where a lawyer worked helped Jane to understand what the meetings could have been about.

The other name that appeared on the log was a Nancy Grant. Jane found that name just one time in the log and next to her name in the relation to prisoner column it was just labeled 'personal'. Jane again made a note of the name and was glad that the log at least gave them a few new leads to follow-up on. She would have Frost run both Manning and Grant when he came into the station. As much as she poked fun of Korsak about his lack of technological savvy, she wasn't much better at searches than he was. Frost was really the expert when it came to that.

She tried her email one last time hoping to find the photos from Cedar Junction. She now knew she was waiting for a picture of Walter Stills, his lawyer Peter Manning and a mystery woman Nancy Grant. Apparently the third time for Jane was the charm as the desired email was finally in Jane's inbox.

She immediately opened the prison photo of Walter Stills. As soon as the photo opened Jane knew she recognized him. She was looking at their mystery man from the parking garage.

R&I

Maura's morning had been fairly routine. She had gotten up at her normal time for a day she did not have to go into work. She had completed her morning workout routine like she always did. She spent several minutes interacting and feeding Bass. She even had started her coffee before heading upstairs to take a shower. There really wasn't anything about this Saturday morning that appeared to be different from her previous Saturday mornings.

Except she felt like things were different. She had kissed Jane last night. Jane had kissed her last night. Last night had changed everything and she found she couldn't be happier.

They had kissed. Not a small peck on the cheek kind of kiss. No. They had kissed. Admittedly tentative at first but Maura had been just as uncertain as Jane when she leaned in for that first one. But thankfully there was a second kiss. And then a third. If Maura had had her way there would have been a fourth. Probably a fifth.

As she headed back downstairs into the kitchen to pour herself a cup of coffee she couldn't help but think about how it felt to have Jane's lips on her own. To finally experience what she had dreamt about for months. Even with the tentative nature of their first kiss, Maura's dreams had not done the sensation any justice. The real life version of Jane was so much better than the dream one.

A part of her believed they should have talked after it happened instead of just saying good night. But as she thought about it she mostly believed that maybe it had been better that they didn't try to go through any analysis that soon. Maybe it was for the best that they both got to just have their first moments as maybe something more without the immediate pressure to have to define what that something more was supposed to be.

So she was fine that they left things as they did last night. She knew that conversation would happen. Considering what did happen between them last night there was no way to avoid having it at some point. But she wasn't worried about having that conversation. Last night had felt so natural, so right. She was sure that their conversation would be just as natural.

Maura couldn't remember a time when she felt more full of hope. She had been in love with Jane for a long time but had never really let herself believe that there was a chance for that love to be mutual. She had hoped. She had wanted. She just wouldn't let herself believe. Mainly to try to keep herself from being hurt or disappointed.

But when her lips met Jane's that first time she wasn't even sure if she leaned up into Jane or Jane leaned down into her. She really didn't know who initiated it. She thought maybe it was each of them. But what mattered even more to her was that Jane didn't pull away. She didn't stop what happened and in fact she knew for sure it was Jane that stepped into her and deepened that first kiss. She knew simply because she had not been capable of such a thing. She was surprised her legs hadn't given out on her.

Pulling away from Jane and not seeing any panic or uncertainty, that's what truly gave Maura hope. Nothing about Jane's reaction to the kisses they shared led her to believe she hadn't wanted it to happen. As in doubt as she had been about Jane's feelings for her prior to last night, she wasn't doubting that anymore.

Angela had been right along. Jane had wanted more than friendship.

Angela.

Maura looked at the time and realized that she was about to have an unexpected problem. She knew any minute Angela was going to make her way over to the house to get the details about their night. She was actually surprised that Angela wasn't in her kitchen at dawn.

For the first time all morning, Maura started to feel a little anxious. She was really stuck in a difficult position. For months Angela had been Maura's confidant. She had been the only person who knew that she was in love with Jane.

She hadn't meant for Angela to find out. She hadn't meant to tell her. But Angela being Angela happened to be in the right place at the right time to earn that piece of information.

R&I

"Hey Maura?" Angela called out as she walked through the side door. She had wanted to know if Maura wanted to finish watching the Civil War documentary they had started a few nights ago.

She made it to the kitchen and hadn't been acknowledged by the ME which surprised her. She knew Maura was home and since it was only 8:00 pm she didn't think Maura would be asleep.

"Maura?" she called out again still not sure where the woman was.

Not getting a response Angela decided she would walk through the lower level to see if she could find her. She wouldn't interrupt Maura if she was upstairs in her room. She headed into the living room and found the ME.

Maura was asleep on the couch. Angela would, from time to time, find Maura asleep on the couch especially if she had been working extremely long hours. Angela hadn't been aware of a case that was taxing either her or Jane but she just assumed something had worn out Maura.

Not wanting to wake her, Angela quietly went to the hall closet and removed a blanket. As she started to cover Maura with the blanket she noticed the empty glass of wine on the end table. She didn't think much of it as it wasn't unusual for Maura to have a glass of wine to help wind down from her day.

She had just finished covering Maura with the blanket when Maura stirred. Angela froze hoping that Maura would simply fall back asleep. She hadn't wanted to be the reason she woke up.

"Angela?" Maura asked not yet opening her eyes and her speech was a little slurred.

"Yes," Angela acknowledged in a soft voice now feeling bad for waking the ME up. "I'm sorry I woke you. You just looked a little cold."

"S'alright," Maura slurred again as she tried to sit up.

Angela couldn't help notice the slurred speech. The first one she thought was just because she wasn't awake but the second time the speech slurred Angela began to wonder. "Are you alright?" she asked just a little concerned.

"Mmm fine," Maura once again slurred.

A third time for Angela made her certain Maura was drunk. That surprised Angela. She had known Maura to have an occasional glass of wine but in the years she had known the ME she had never seen her intoxicated.

"Maura, honey," Angela started, "how much have you had to drink?" She also wanted to know what made Maura drink so much but knew to try to get one question answered at a time.

"Drink?" Maura repeated but didn't supply an answer. By now she was sitting upright on the couch but she was struggling to stay awake.

Angela's concern for her grew as Maura never seemed to have issues answering questions before.

"Yes Maura," Angela tried again. "How much wine have you had tonight?"

Instead of answering aloud Maura held up her hand and tried to count off glasses with her fingers. She was muttering something Angela couldn't understand but as she watched the number of fingers increase it was clear that Maura was in fact drunk.

Maura got to where four fingers were being held up and stopped. Just as Angela was about to take that as Maura's answer to her question she watched Maura move her hand back and forth in front of her as if she was mesmerized by the action.

Watching this Angela knew she wasn't going to get any answers with Maura in the condition she was. "Come on," Angela said gently as she helped Maura get up from the couch. "Let's get you into bed."

Maura seemed to think about what Angela had just said and then nodded. She let Angela help her up off the couch and allowed her to help her up the stairs. Angela put Maura into bed and tucked her in. Before leaving the ME to get some sleep Angela went into the bathroom to get a glass of water and some aspirin to place on Maura's night stand.

After placing the items down on the nightstand, Angela heard Maura mumble something. She paused to listen and just when she thought Maura had stopped mumbling and fallen asleep she heard her mumble again, "She doesn't love me."

Not knowing who Maura was talking about she wondered if Maura had a run in with Hope. That would explain why she might have been so upset she had gotten drunk. Angela didn't know all the details but she knew Maura's interactions with Hope had all been disasters to that point.

"Shhhh," Angela tried to settle Maura. "Go to sleep. It will be better in the morning." She re-tucked Maura in and straightened up when she heard Maura speak again.

"No. Jane still won't love me in the morning."

Angela froze and stared at the woman on the bed. Had she just said Jane wouldn't love her? She stood waiting to see if Maura would say anything else but nothing more came from the ME. Finally Angela walked out of her bedroom more confused than ever.

When Maura woke up the next morning she had no idea how she had gotten into bed. She was still dressed in the yoga pants and t-shirt she had put on when she first got home the night before instead of in her pajamas. As she started to get up she quickly stopped as her head was throbbing and the room seemed to sway.

Thinking back on the night she quickly ascertained that she had consumed too much wine last night. She looked over to her nightstand to see the time and saw the water and aspirin sitting there. She wasn't sure if it had been Jane or Angela who was responsible for that but she was eternally grateful. She took the aspirin and drank the water and laid back down until the room stopped moving.

After a few moments she tried to get up again and found she had better success. She headed into the bathroom to splash some water on her face and then went downstairs. For some reason, she wasn't too surprised to see Angela in her kitchen. When she saw that breakfast was being made she knew it was Angela that had helped her to bed the night before.

"Good morning," Angela greeted the ME.

"Good morning," Maura replied. Looking over at Angela she smiled. "Thank you for last night," she said. She didn't remember much of anything but she wanted to acknowledge and thank Angela for getting her to bed.

"Have a seat," Angela said. "I figured you'd need something in your stomach."

Maura sat as directed and watched Angela finish the last of her breakfast. She placed it in front of Maura and looked at her. "Are you alright?" she asked Maura with concern.

"I will be," answered Maura. And she would be. She hadn't meant to drink that much last night. But she had left Jane's apartment after trying to console her after Casey once again left her in a lurch. Seeing Jane upset over Casey had just really upset her. She shouldn't have let it. She knew Jane didn't feel for her anything more than friendship but it hurt to see the detective upset over someone Maura never believed was good enough for Jane.

Maura picked at her breakfast and Angela watched in a comfortable silence. After a few minutes Angela broke the silence. "Maura, you should tell her."

Maura's head snapped up. "Tell who what?" she asked. The look on Angela's face made Maura fear the answer. What had she said last night?

"Jane. If you love her, you should really tell her," Angela answered.

Maura almost panicked. She almost tried to pretend she didn't know what Angela was talking about. She almost tried to lie. But she didn't. Simply because the look on Angela's face was so open and warm and caring she couldn't lie. She just dropped her head.

"She doesn't feel the same way about me," Maura answered instead.

Angela reached across the table and took Maura's hand in hers. "And here I thought you never guessed."

R&I

That started the months of back and forth between the two women. Angela insisting that Jane cared for Maura on a level beyond friendship. Maura refusing to let herself really believe Angela could be right. But through it all Angela had been there for her and had been a sounding board for her.

But now things were suddenly different. Now instead of seeing Angela as a confidant she now had to see Angela strictly as Jane's mother. Jane's mother who routinely tried to interfere in Jane's personal affairs. Something Maura was well aware Jane hated and tried to stop at every turn.

So Maura knew she was now in a difficult position. As much as she wanted to share the joy last night had brought her with Angela she knew she couldn't. She could not be the one to tell Angela about what happened. Not without running the risk of upsetting Jane.

Jane was an extremely private person. Last night had just happened and they hadn't even had a chance to talk about what it meant for them and for the future. There was just no way she would be able to tell Angela anything before she and Jane had even had the chance to talk first.

But the woman was most likely counting the seconds before she could come over and get the details about their night out. Their date. Maura was going to have to figure out a way to handle Angela without letting her know absolutely everything that happened last night. For one of the few times in her life, Maura suddenly wished she possessed the ability to lie without breaking out in hives.

As if on cue, the side door opened and Angela entered the main house. "Maura?" she called out.

Maura took a deep breath and attempted to prepare herself for the onslaught of questions she knew were about to head her way.

"Good morning," she called out from the kitchen. She moved to the cupboard to pull out a cup for Angela and poured a cup of coffee knowing Angela would want one.

"So tell me about your night," was Angela's greeting as she entered the kitchen.

Maura had to chuckle that she skipped even saying good morning and got straight to the point. "We both had a wonderful evening," Maura answered her.

"So," Angela said with anticipation, "what did you guys end up doing?"

As Maura had pondered that morning how she was going to try to handle Angela, she decided it was fine to share most of the details with her. She just wasn't going to be able to share everything with her. She'd dance around that subject as best she could but she realized she was most likely going to have to tell Angela that she just couldn't reveal certain answers.

"Believe it or not," Maura started, "we went roller skating." She knew that would be safe to discuss outside their last skate and considering Jane's threats the whole Hokey Pokey bit.

"Oh my," Angela exclaimed. "She took you to Chez Vous didn't she?" While it was a question it really wasn't. As soon as Maura had said roller skating Angela knew exactly where Jane would have taken her.

"Yes," Maura answered, "she did."

"Jane used to end up there practically every weekend when she was younger and I swear she spent at least two summers there. We know the owners," Angela said with a smile.

Maura nodded. "I met Jake," she offered. "Jane actually arranged it with him so that we had the place to ourselves. Which was probably a good thing. I handled the skating part alright but I'm not sure I would have if there had been any other people skating around us."

Angela settled on a mental picture of both Jane and Maura skating. She let her mind wander a bit and could help imagine some intimate moments especially if they had the rink to themselves. She knew it was probably wishful thinking but she just couldn't help it.

"What else happened?" Angela asked hoping to hear something that would let her believe one of them finally came clean about how they felt about each other.

"Well," Maura started hoping she could tell Angela just enough to satisfy her curiosity but avoid the details she knew she just couldn't share. "We got to the rink and Jane had purchased new skates for me."

"Your germ issues?" Angela asked knowing Jane had already gotten Maura her own pair of bowling shoes for a similar reason.

"Yes, and then she went and wore rented skates. I still don't know why it can be ok for her to deal with bacteria strains and not me," the ME pointed out.

"Because she knows you have concerns and she wants to protect you," Angela pointed out. "Remember what I told you yesterday about how Jane shows her feelings through her actions? This is the type of thing I meant."

Maura couldn't help but flash again to Jane putting the skates on her feet. A smile swept across her face she just couldn't stop. She realized Angela noticed the smile and tried to head off questions. "She is very sweet in that respect," she said. "Once we got used to the skates, we skated a little bit, she talked about going to the rink when she was younger and she tried to teach me to skate backwards. I managed a little but the turns are harder than they look."

A little disappointed that there didn't seem to be any 'juicy' details Angela took a sip of her coffee. "Did you do anything else?"

"After we skated we had dinner and then came home," Maura answered still hoping her body wouldn't overly react to a sin of omission in the same manner it would react to an outright lie.

"I half expected to see Jane here this morning," Angela pointed out. Most Saturdays she could find her daughter over here having spent the night after the two had watched movies.

"She had to work today," Maura said. "They still don't have much on their case and I think she went in pretty early."

It was Angela's turn to nod. She knew Jane was unhappy at how her case was progressing and figured she was going to work through the weekend. She was pretty sure she wouldn't see her daughter until Sunday dinner.

"Well," she said clearly disappointed that neither had made any confessions of undying love for the other, "I'm glad you both had a fun night. But I will be honest and admit I was hoping that last night would have turned out to be an actual date between you two."

Maura had to turn away from Angela and pretend to wash out her coffee cup to avoid the eye contact she knew would give her away. She let silence fall between them instead of risking an unintentional admission.

Angela seemed to interpret Maura's actions as a sign that she didn't want to discuss that. She hadn't wanted to upset Maura and she now thought maybe Maura was also upset that the night hadn't turned into a real date. Feeling guilty for possibly upsetting Maura, Angela quickly changed topics and asked how Constance was doing.

Much to Maura's relief, Angela stayed for another cup of coffee and the conversation stayed focused on Constance and how her new exhibit was doing in London.

R&I

Would you like to come over for dinner tonight? -M

I would love to…I should be free by 7. -J

7 it is. Just let me know if something keeps you. -M

I won't let anything keep me. -J