It had been a long day by the time Robert reached his study that evening. He had gone into London to meet with a doctor who said that he would be able to help his mother, but he had been unable to suggest anything that hadn't been suggested before. Frances had been in a volatile mood for the past week and he hadn't said anything to her, not wanting to raise her hopes. It appeared that that had been the correct decision. Standing in front of the fire that a servant had kept burning for him Robert went through what the doctor had told him again, to make sure that there was nothing he could have missed. But there wasn't and he decided he would write to the doctor to advise him that he would not be bringing his mother to London to see him.

Walking over to his desk, Robert fixed his gaze on the pile of letters and correspondence that had been left for him. Knowing that it would only grow the next day he quickly set to work writing his letter to the London doctor. It was a short letter and somewhat more abrupt than was considered polite but Robert was getting tired of doctors who wasted his time. He had explained to this one all the treatments that his mother had endured and all he was able to do was recommend more of the same. Placing the letter to the side to be collected by a servant for delivery to London in the morning, he turned his attention to the pile of letters.

He struggled to retain any semblance of interest in the letters, mostly business related matters and social letters from acquaintances in London that he no longer thought of, except when he received correspondence from them. But he steadily worked his way through them, leaving his desk only to add more wood to the fire. Finally he reached the final letter, a cream envelope with his name and address written in a delicate feminine hand. The writing didn't immediately look familiar but he felt that it was from someone in Hertfordshire, rather than further afield.

Opening the envelope he pulled out a small card. Scanning it quickly he saw that it was an invitation to a ball that Mr and Mrs Stabler were to hold in three weeks' time. Dropping the invitation to the desk he rubbed his face in frustration. He had been dreading the arrival of such an invitation.

He wanted to attend, he couldn't deny that. But after the picnic he had held it had become so much more complicated than simply what he wanted. The reasons for this were twofold. Firstly, and most importantly, there was Alexandra to consider and secondly, he needed to think about the Stablers and the rest of their guests. He felt certain that after what had happened they couldn't possibly have any genuine desire for him to attend their gathering. He had spoken with both Mr and Mrs Stabler on numerous occasions and believed that he had a good understanding of both of them. Mr Stabler was fiercely protective of his family and was not afraid to make that known. Robert had no doubt that he would be feeling especially uneasy about any of his family returning to Canarsie House. Mrs Stabler was a quiet woman and Robert felt a certain affinity with her. She was very kind and polite and he wondered whether it was that kindness and politeness that was responsible for his invitation. Robert imagined that this particular invitation might have caused some tense moments between husband and wife.

Although the invitation was for a ball, an evening event which the children would not be invited to, Robert couldn't help but think of them. He knew how confronting his mother's outbursts could be and he remembered seeing them as a child. Certainly the children who had attended the picnic had never seen anything like it before and he could only imagine how much it had scared them, especially the younger ones. Children would often watch the parties that their parents held. If the Stabler children saw him, would they be reminded of that day?

That question applied equally to the rest of the families who had been in attendance at his picnic and who would be attending the ball. Although his attention had been on his mother, he was aware of how quickly the Stablers had left, and that the Deakins and Cragens had quickly followed. None of them would want to be reminded of that day. The only reason that the Eameses and Bensons had stayed had been because of Alexandra.

Robert's biggest concern was Alexandra. He knew that, unlike the others, she would be genuinely happy to see him and he couldn't let that happen. Despite what his mother had tried to convince him of that day after the picnic, he still felt that he was making the right decision in walking away from Alexandra now, rather than letting them get any closer. He didn't feel that he could offer her the type of life she deserved and if he made any attempt to court her he would be giving her and her entire family that impression, although surely by now they knew that that was not the case. Whilst she would be disappointed it was kinder overall to end it now, not only for her sake but for his as well. If he allowed himself to get any closer to her and to completely fall in love with her, he would never be able to let her go.

But all of those reasons were to remain his own and he would never use them to decline the Stablers' invitation. Since he had received the first dinner invitation from the Deakins he had accepted every invite. He could not simply turn down an invitation now without providing a proper excuse. Pulling out a clean sheet of paper, he began to write.

Dear Mr and Mrs Stabler,

Thank you for your kind invitation to the ball you will be hosting in three weeks' time. I am sure it will be a charming and delightful evening enjoyed by all.

Unfortunately I regret to inform you that I will be unable to attend. As you are aware my mother is unwell and at the moment as you will no doubt understand my priority must be her care and health. I have been required to spend time in London recently for business and as a result I wish to spend what time I can at home caring for my mother.

I would also like offer my most sincere apologies for the incident which took place at Canarsie House last month. I understand how disturbing the incident was for all involved, especially the children who witnessed it. I hope that there have been no negative repercussions for the children and if they require anything please do not hesitate to contact me.

I once again apologise for not being able to accept your kind invitation.

Sincerely,

Robert O Goren

Katherine Stabler folded the letter up and placed in back in the envelope. "Mr Goren won't be attending the ball," she told her husband.

"After what happened at his picnic you knew that it was a possibility," Mr Stabler replied. It was evident in his voice that he wasn't at all concerned that their invitation had been turned down.

"I know," Mrs Stabler agreed. "But it's still disappointing. He seemed to be becoming such good friends with Mr Logan and Miss Benson. And he was quite taken with Mrs Dutton."

Mr Stabler sighed and placed the papers that he had been reading on the table to his side, "What did he say?"

"He apologised for the incident at the picnic."

"Good," he grunted.

Mrs Stabler gave her husband a brief glare before continuing, "And says he is unable to attend because he needs to care for his mother."

"That makes sense," Mr Stabler commented, feeling that the matter was closed.

It did not make sense to Mrs Stabler however. She knew from her conversations with him that Mr Goren had a private nurse employed to care for his mother. She also knew that he still regularly travelled to London and therefore left Mrs Goren in the care of said nurse. Surely if his mother's condition had worsened she would require greater attention from her nurse or a doctor, rather than Mr Goren. He had so appeared to enjoy their dinners and balls as well and as she had just mentioned there were the other young people to consider. There was more to the situation than he had explained in his letter and Mrs Stabler suspected that she knew what was truly behind his rejection of the invitation, but she wanted to know for certain.

Two days later she appeared on the doorstep at Canarsie House and was shown to Mr Goren's study by a servant.

"Mrs Stabler," Robert stuttered, getting to his feet and trying to neaten the mess on his desk. "I'm sorry, was I expecting you?"

She gave an apologetic smile, "No. I apologise for coming here unannounced but I wanted to speak with you in person about the letter that you sent my husband and I."

"Of course," he said, trying to hide the fact that he was completely stunned. "Please have a seat. Would you like some tea?" he offered.

"No, thank you." Deciding to forgo any small talk, Mrs Stabler waiting until Mr Goren had taken a seat before saying, "Everyone would so like it if you were able to attend our ball."

"Thank you," he replied graciously. "But I really must stay with my mother."

"Really?" she questioned. "Mr Goren, I hope you don't feel I'm being too forward, but you shouldn't be punishing yourself for what happened at the picnic."

"I'm not punishing myself," he said, although he could see why she might think that. If he were truthful then in a way his actions were punishment, by denying him the opportunity to see his friends, and Alexandra, but that was not his purpose in doing so.

"Then what is this about?" Mrs Stabler asked. "I understand that your mother requires care but you shouldn't shut yourself off from your friends and companions to do so."

"My friends," Robert repeatedly softly. "My mother's condition can be difficult to understand, it's even more difficult to live with. My friends shouldn't have it inflicted upon their lives."

"Mr Goren. It is one ball. At our home," she reminded him.

"Right, of course," Robert said, feeling foolish for having let his feelings for Alexandra interfere in the conversation about others.

"Did you have a chance to meet my daughter Kathleen at the picnic?" Mrs Stabler asked.

"I met her when your family first arrived and I helped her into the cart for the hay ride," he offered.

"That was one of Kathleen's good days," she said meaningfully.

"I don't understand," Robert asked.

"Kathleen has always been a...spirited child. Certainly the noisiest and the most likely to find trouble. But in recent years she has starting having unexplainable mood swings. Just before you moved here, there was an incident with one of the servants, but she was never able to explain why she did it," Mrs Stabler explained.

"I'm very sorry to hear that, but why are you telling me this?" he questioned.

"Because I want you to know that you are not the only one in a situation like this. Our friends are starting to see that Kathleen is different, but it doesn't stop them from being our friends or from supporting us," she said carefully.

Robert briefly wondering whether Kathleen's incident with the servant had been anywhere near as dramatic as his mother's incident at the picnic, but he didn't wish to pry after Mrs Stabler had been so understanding

"So will you come to the ball?" she entreated.

Now that she had dismantled one of his arguments for not going to the ball, Robert felt that he had to accept. He didn't want to explain his feelings for Alexandra, for he felt that she would present arguments against them that were similar to the ones his mother had made and he knew that it would only weaken his resolve. No, he would make a short appearance at the ball and spend minimal time with Alexandra. If nothing else, by attending he would have the opportunity to apologise to everyone in person. He would simply have to worry about the next invitation if and when it came.

"Alright, I will attend," Robert agreed.

"Wonderful," Mrs Stabler exclaimed. She could see that he was reluctant still to attend and was no doubt developing excuses for next time, but she knew that once he attended, and spent time with his friends he would realise what he would be missing if he continued to turn down invitations.

Getting to her feet she said her goodbyes and promised to see him in three weeks time. As Robert showed her out he wondered whether he was making the right decision, because he was starting to wonder what that really was.