Chapter 12: In Remembrance of Me

Icarus stared at the floor in silence as both Celestia and Eve watched him patiently. He had thought about both of his choices, but neither one seemed like it would fill the empty hole in his soul. They would satisfy him at the moment, but wouldn't leave him happy.

But what was it that lingered in his mind that refused to allow him peace? He couldn't remember what he had done before Eden, so any feelings of that past time were lost. However, something did seem to tug at him like he'd never felt before: loneliness.

It was true; somehow the old emotions that Icarus never knew existed anymore had managed to grip him once again. Perhaps it was because Celestia had told him about his origins that revived these sensations that had once been his driving force.

"I finally understand..." muttered Icarus. "I now realize that we don't change. If we're good, then we do good things. If we're bad, then we do evil things. That is the natural order of life. Very rarely will an evil being redirect their life to be good. However, I have mixed feelings. My emotions scream to make me want others to understand how I feel, but my mind is saying to leave them alone. Logically, there is only one option to take, and it doesn't involve either of you."

"Which is...?" asked Celestia.

"I need to rid Equestria of me," declared Icarus.

Celestia nodded. "But if you leave Equestria, won't you still have the urge that drove you to madness in your past?"

Icarus smirked. "Who said I was leaving alive?"

Celestia's eyes widened, as did Eve's.

"Farewell to you, Celestia. Thank you for the truth."

Celestia nodded.

Icarus then looked at the dark mare trapped in the slime. "Goodbye Amber."

"What? Who's Amber?"

"There is no chance that you're Eve. When I asked you earlier about the carnage in Eden, you had no idea what I was talking about. Eve would have remembered, which leads me to believe you are one of the Changelings impersonating Eve. It would only make sense then that the Changeling Queen herself would head a mission of such importance."

Amber paused. "You're sharper than I thought."

Icarus shrugged. "I'll be taking my leave now. Goodbye." He then turned and left without another word. He passed the unconscious guards in the castle's entrance as he made his way out of the hole he had created in the drawbridge.

The city outside Canterlot castle no longer was chaotic or terrified, rather, the citizens had already started to help rebuild what Icarus had destroyed. He noticed the sentinels he had frozen earlier had been thawed out and were warming up together with blankets and hot soup.

This whole sight was the epitome of friendship: Ponies helping each other out during tough times. Icarus couldn't help but respect them.

He stopped right on the outskirts of the town to get one final look, then teleported away.

Icarus reappeared in the opening of the Everfree Forest that he had used after his arrival to Ponyville. It had acquired such a home-like feel to him even though he had discovered it less than a week ago. He laid down in the familiar crater and looked into the sky. The sun was sinking in the West bringing forth the evening dusk.

"Hello there."

A voice interrupted Icarus' relaxing state. He sat up and looked around curiously, but didn't see anypony around who could have spoken. He looked back into the heavens above, noticing a shadowy figure confiding in the tree tops. It jumped onto the ground before Icarus, making him stagger back a couple steps.

Eve smiled warmly as Icarus gathered his wits.

"I've already encountered one imposter today. How do I know you're not another?" accused Icarus.

"It was me who gave you that note, me who inspired you to flee from Eden and long for revenge on Celestia, and me who dealt with the guards that had cornered you on the roof during your night of escape." Eve never stopped looking at Icarus with such a tender expression.

"Why me?" Icarus started. "Why would you join me to do such terrible things? The pains that burdened me were mine and mine alone, so why did you go along with what I wanted?! Didn't you realize that hundreds or even thousands would be affected?"

Eve sighed. "I have always cared for you, Icarus. Ever since the day I met you, I wanted you to be happy because of your going through abandonment. You see, Icarus, I was the daughter of the family that took you in. I loved you like a brother and did all I could to make your life peaceful, but, no matter how hard I tried, you were constantly struggling with abandonment issues. You would hardly ever speak, let alone smile. I asked you about it on a couple occasions, but you brushed me off and told me I was being too nosey. A couple months later I caught you trying to sneak out after everypony had gone to sleep. You told me about your plan to make others understand how you felt, and that I didn't need to get involved. I, however, was fearful for what could happen to you after you left, so I came along. It took a bit of convincing, but I wasn't about to let you leave by yourself. I assume you know the rest from there."

"I do."

"So you know it was me who eliminated the doctors, don't you?"

Icarus nodded again. "I speculated so, but after what you've just told me, it seems unlikely that you would do something like that."

"I didn't do it for me, rather, I did it for you. I was angry for what I almost had to go through, but that didn't drive me to do it. The thought that they would even dare lay a hoof on you is what enraged me, but I managed to contain myself until the night of your escape."

"I see." Icarus walked over and looked into the stream at his reflection. "Do you know what I plan to do now?"

Eve sighed. "I'm afraid I do, but if you think that taking your own life will solve all the problems you've caused you've caused then I believe you are mistaken. Killing yourself will make everything I've gone through be in vain."

"You think I want to kill myself? I said something similar to that to Celestia shortly ago to make her not worry about me anymore, but I wasn't going to follow through with it. Well, no matter, what I have in mind might as well be though, however it was only because of your help that I can do it. I will finally be happy."

"You always were an unpredictable one. Tell me then, what is your plan?"

Icarus chuckled. "You can watch me if you wish, but please do not interfere. Before I start I need to ask of you two things. The first is that you never speak to me ever again after I leave here. My reasons for that will be made clear soon enough. I have nothing against you, but it is simply how it needs to be.

The second thing I ask of you is to return home and make amends with your family. Do not let them know everything that has happened, but tell them I am in a better place and thankful for everything they've done. Please do these things in remembrance of me."

Nighttime had settled itself more subtly than Icarus was used to. He hadn't noticed that he was squinting to see Eve's dark figure in the evening gloom. As the moon shone into her face, Icarus saw its clear light reflect off the tears that gathered in Eve's eyes. She quickly wiped them away and spoke.

"Is it alright if I keep an eye on you every now and then? I want to make sure you are safe."

"I will be perfectly fine," reassured Icarus, "but you can if you wish, as long as I don't know you are watching me."

Eve gave Icarus a hug, then took a couple steps back, looking at the ground the whole while.

"Don't worry, I won't be far."

Eve nodded. "Goodbye Icarus. Please know that I will never forget you."

Icarus smiled. "Of course."

Eve withdrew into the shadows behind her. Only the whites of her eyes were visible until she closed them, vanishing as quickly as she had appeared.

Icarus took a breath and looked into the stream. He couldn't see his reflection in the water, so he conjured up a simple light above him. He examined himself in the running creek to evaluate what changes were necessary. Firstly he decided that his horn was unnecessary and needed to go.

Numbing the nerves in his forehead, Icarus cast a spell to nullify pain and then created an incredibly sharp blade made from his magic. He took a deep breath and braced himself, then swiped his horn off with one clean slice of the blade. Warm blood trickled down his face, but Icarus sealed the wound closed soon thereafter. He noticed a circular scar on his forehead where the horn had been when he looked back into his reflection, so he fixed the skin surrounding it, making it seem like he never had had a horn to begin with. Icarus kicked it into the stream.

He then examined his frail wings, the useless things. He couldn't think of a single time they had been helpful during his journey, but he didn't want to lose them. In fact, Icarus wanted to make them useful. He flexed his wings, flapping them to try to get off the ground, but they were too feeble to even lift him a couple inches. Casting a new spell, he strengthened the muscles in his wings, as well as make them more aerodynamic. This would not only allow him to fly at great speeds, but would also grant him longer flight times before getting tired.

Looking back into the stream again, Icarus realized that his body color was too distinct. His charcoal grey hair and black mane would be too easily identified, so that was the next thing he needed to adjust. He decided on a color choice which he was pleased with, then stepped into the water. As the refreshing fluid surrounded him, Icarus weaved his magic around his coat, then with his mane and tail to change their colors accordingly.

Icarus stepped back onto the bank of the creek and gazed into his reflection when he finished. His coat was a deep blue, his mane and tail turquoise. Since ponies had deep meanings for different colors, Icarus thought that bearing the colors of peace and clarity of mind would help him.

His reformation was almost complete. Icarus still had to perform one more physical modification to himself, but that could wait a couple minutes more. There was something he needed to create that his whole plan depended on.

Icarus used his magic to materialize a cube of sugar in his upright hoof. He then began to place a series of enchantments on the cube. Icarus made great care to only apply the neccessary spells needed. He set the sugar cube on the ground when he was finished, making great care not to accidently step on it. The cube had been infused with amnesia inducing spells. Anypony who consumed it would lose their memory about who they were, where they lived, and almost everything else they had ever known.

Icarus then pulled out a small note. It was the one Eve had given him in the hospital. He read it one last time, proceeding to wipe the page blank when he was done.

A quill levitated a couple inches above the empty note, held in place by Icarus, who began to write a new letter. He continued to make adjustments to what it said until he was confident it would be convincing. He folded the note and placed it under the sugar cube, then buried the pen in the crater.

There was only one last thing to do before he could leave his old life forever. Icarus took a moment to prepare himself for his last magic spell he would ever perform. It was the most difficult spell known in Equestria: An age spell. He released his magic, feeling himself shrink as the forest trees grew around him.

He scuffled over to the water and saw that he was now a young colt, but he still had the mind and all the memories of before. Icarus picked up the note and cube, making his way towards Ponyville through the Everfree Forest. He was finished.

This whole journey had gone by in such a short time, but it had felt like a lifetime in and of itself. Soon everything would be over and Icarus would be happy. He would get the beginning that he had never experienced. This fresh start would finally put him at peace.

As he emerged from the forest, Icarus noticed that most of the residents in Ponyville had turned out their lights and were sleeping. One of these sleeping building was the Golden Oaks Library, the home of Twilight Sparkle. Icarus thought that she would be best for his plan because she was the most knowledgeable pony in the town. Icarus hoped that she would rub off on him in that regard.

He reached her front door, gazing at how large it now seemed. Here was where his legacy had begun, and it would be here where it would end. The moonlight shone on the door's plaque; Twilight's name glowed peacefully in the ghostly light.

Icarus laid on the ground in front of the door, clutching his hind legs with his front ones as he did so. He slipped the note into his mane, but left a portion exposed to make it easily seen. Hesitating for a moment, he finally extended his front hoof put and knocked on the door.

Nothing happened. He waited for almost a minute in silence, debating whether he should knock on the door again or not. However, Icarus' thoughts were cut off when a dim light flickered on inside the house and the sound of hoofsteps approached the door.

Icarus slipped the enchanted sugar cube into his mouth, then closed his eyes to appear sleeping. There he waited patiently until the door creaked open.

Twilight was rubbing her eyes and let out a big yawn as she stood in the doorway. The night breeze made her shiver a bit before she finally looked at her seemingly empty front porch.

"Um, hello...?" she started, but before she could say anymore, something blue on the ground caught her eye. She looked down, then gasped.

It was a young colt. His blue coat was easily distinguished in the faint light that emanated from the library. He appeared to be sleeping. Twilight saw a slip of paper wedged in his mane, so she quietly reached down and pulled it free without waking the colt.

Icarus began to feel light-headed. The cube's effects were starting to take hold. In a couple minutes he would pass out. Once he woke up, he wouldn't remember any of this. As he felt his consciousness begin to falter, he heard Twilight begin reading the note.

"Twilight, the colt before you is named Nova. He and I are as close as brothers. I love him with all of my heart, but, because of certain nameless events, I am unavailable to care for him. I want only the best for him, so I'm leaving Nova in your hooves for now. I would be forever in your debt if you provide him with a home and a loving family that will always do what is best for him. Nova will probably not remember me when he wakes, but please tell him this: It doesn't matter why we couldn't provide for him, but what does matter is that he has a loving family that will never forget him. He will be in our minds and hearts forever. I will not be far from him, so tell Nova that he will never be alone. I love you, Nova. Please stay safe. ~ I"

Icarus let a tear roll down his cheek as Twilight finished. There was nothing left to be done. He wasn't scared about what was going to happen; No, he embraced it. As unconsciousness gripped at his mind, he welcomed it.

"I'm prepared for my rebirth," he thought to himself as his mind slipped into a dream-like state.

"You poor thing," sympathized Twilight as she lifted Icarus and laid him gently on her back. "I will take care of you until you have grown up. You won't have to worry," she whispered. Twilight reentered her home, closing the front door behind her as she did.

The peaceful evening was almost soothing as Eve watched the final lights fade from the Golden Oaks Library. The cool breeze against her skin made her shiver, but it wasn't as cold as the tears streaming down her face. She knew that Icarus would never remember her, or anything anymore. No more memories, experiences, thoughts about her, they were all gone. Yet, Eve knew this was necessary. He had reset his life with the beginning he never had. No, actually he hadn't set himself on the right path, but it was Nova who received the proper start he deserved. Icarus didn't exist anymore. He had funneled everything that he was into a fresh start, and his legacy was Nova. Eve finally understood that this was the only option that would give Icarus what he wanted.

"Well done Icarus. Well done."

~The End~

Outro Song: Out of my head- John Newman

A/N: I really feel like I've been writing for awhile, when in reality it has only been about 2-3 months since I started. This 12 (technically 14) chapter story has consumed a large portion of my daily life just to make sure I got a chapter out every week. While I am relieved to finally be done, I can honestly say that I have enjoyed the ride. The feedback I received has been encouraging, so I tried to make my story better and better knowing that I have a genuine audience. And now here we are at the conclusion of In Remembrance of Me. I want to thank you thank you all for reading. It really does mean a lot to me.

So was that it? Well, not exactly. I am thinking about writing a mini-chapter/epilogue that also includes my entire collection of different ideas and thoughts while I was developing the story. This "chapter" will follow a small portion of Nova's daily life, along with what happens to Rainbow Dash, Discord, Amber, etc. Let me know in a PM or review if you would like to see that, otherwise I will put it to rest.

Well, that's all I really have to say about this story! I hope you enjoyed it (I do read every review posted and am grateful for your kind words/criticisms respectively). If you enjoyed it, you might like one of my future pieces of work that I plan on writing. It won't be out for a couple months while I develop the plot and write the first couple of chapters, but hey, at least you now know that I'm not ending here. What's my next story? I won't give you that much, but I'll tell you the genre: comedy. It might seem odd that I would write a comical story after something so serious, but you would be surprised with what I can do with the plot I have in mind.

Until next time, ~Kalameet