Chapter 14- Exposure Ve 2017

Life with the kids and Misato was going well until Kaji had arrived with Shinji's old childhood friend whom was his own nephew. Shinji and Asuka making an unusual greeting, Kaji had touched a nerve when he mentioned how bad he felt before when he died. The kids weren't happy about his even more selfish behavior when he wanted to waltz back in their life and disrupt their system. Not even Daniel was happy, he learned that Kaji had died in a way like his mother did, which he mentioned.

"AND SO THE THREE REGROUPED...ELSEWHERE! Woo Oooooh ooohh!" Asuka had playfully said, as if they were in a tv show, to Shinji and Daniel who were on the ground reading all sorts of music tropes that lead into certain lives of music artists. This made the two laugh hysterically

"Ah. I always like it when she does that you know...It cheers me up."

"You and I did it to eachother when we were kids too...I'm glad that...YOU KNOW HIM SO WELL ASUKA!" Daniel yelled to her with happiness in his voice. He was relieved to see him happy again.

"Well, he is my love. Right dear?" Asuka teased Shinji, yet again.

"Yes Dear!" Shinji played along.

"Heh. So how did things play out for you when I left? How did your teacher tell you to take it."

"Well...He just said that I would always meet hardships like that, and was expected to learn how to, you know. Being alone. But he always told me that if any case, If I met someone again, I should take the chance to grow a bond again..."

"Still the same as I remember. But look at you now! You've got such a beautiful girlfriend who loves you, and stood with you when you were in pain." Daniel said with relief in his voice, eager to hear how his terrible time went at NERV, and how everything unfolded up until this point.

"Well...I was doing okay really. I was fine but I did run away a couple times. I-I mean...I had times when I was truly happy. I thought if everybody was nice to me, that would be enough...my...my father showed me praise Dan...He even apologized for-"

Forgive me...Shinji...

"Why the hell are you still here..."

Because I'm your greatest fear...you fear if you...forgive me, then you'll be just like me. You're afraid that I'll just have a place in your heart that will always leave a bad memory. A bad memory of a father who finally got to be accepted by his son...

"He apologized. About everything. And I can't forgive him. HE WAS TOO LATE..."

"If-if that's the case...Tell me how everything happened. How your father was. How you met Asuka..."

"S-Sure Dan. Well Misato introduced me to NERV and him during the 1st angel attack, and when I saw him, he was very cold to me. He said if I didn't fight, I was welcome to leave. And that's when I first met Rei...She was a clone of my...Mother."

"W-What the hell...So R-Rei is that dead body in th-the ocean..."

"Unbelievable? Well I'll tell you that soon too. I met her and they wanted me to pilot it instead of her for a last minute thing. So I fought in her place, and I guess I past out and somehow went Berserk...You see mine and Asuka's Eva's were actually our mothers. And seeing as how my mom died, her soul was transported inside the EVA unit I piloted. And Asuka's mom slowly descended into madness, so she lost her mother slowly...And had to live through it...Honestly she's gone through a lot more..." Shinji sympathetically said as he walked over to hug her for a second to remind her that he's there to help. "And so, my mother is in NERV headquarters eternally asleep until I awaken her to fight again. So I think...Anyway, I soon met Asuka on a naval ship and it was an awkward greeting. We soon moved in together and as my synchronization went up with my EVA, Asuka stopped having faith in herself. I was so selfish to not understand why she wanted to impress me but be my competition at the same time. And so I was lost in My Eva for a whole month, and she was slowly losing sight of reality as her skills weakened, and the hope of me ever coming back was fading. Thankfully I came back but Asuka lost too many times and she lost sight of living, seeing as how I didn't notice until she was in a coma. We almost lost her from attempted suicide, but when we were attacked by SEELE she awoke and found her true self. She is now her true self as you see her at her most potential. She's really happy. Anyway when she was fighting them off and eventually SEELE sent out their mass produced EVA's and destroyed her and mother, so it seemed. But I came out and they used me as a catalyst for 3rd impact. It was up to me if I'd let the world stay as it was or end it...T-the sad thing about it all was..I wanted it to be over. I saw the way the world was wrong, so I ultimately had two choices. So I just let them all comeback. If you can imagine yourself in your own heart, you can come back. Those with the will can come back quickest."

"Wow...So when you had the chance, you wanted to end the world? Did nobody understand you..."

"I even pushed him away. What else could he had done. We're lucky to be alive..." Asuka had butted in, to try and give a clear view of Shinji's choice.

"Y-yes...And now I'm here with Asuka, who won't fail me like Misato or Kaji."

"Well...What did they do?" The old friend wondered.

"Misato wanted to...she wanted to use me...But-"

"Huh...What is it?" Daniel asked around as Asuka got fidgety and uneasy.

"Well. I'm pretty sure that she wanted to uh. Use me. And Kaji kind of left without a word. So I'm pretty mad at the both of them. But I'm just a kid. What the hell kind of opinion am I supposed to impose? I'm just helpless without them they think...They think I'm just a kid..." Shinji had a sinister look on his face as he was staring at the wall with whatever idea was in his head being played out.

"Alright Shinji. Calm down...You know we don't need them, but we don't need any bad ideas...Well at least since the one I pulled on Kensuke...And Daniel, just to fill you in, the missing child who's not here died because of us... Not that we wanted him dead or anything. We were just showing him the wrong love, and couldn't find him in time to show the right kind you see? I uh...Bashed his head in with a pipe...Just to knock him out though...And soon he came back and I talked Shinji into scaring him off with a gun...So I kind of manipulated my dear here just for my selfish desires...But Still...We didn't have to do the things we did. And even now we still feel a bit of regret, not that it haunts us or anything." Asuka put simply as she kept a calm face, to try and reason why they done the things they did...

"T-That's intense...*Pant, Pant* D-Damn...*Pant* I'm not nervous being around you guys or anything...it's just hearing that kind of made me think about...M-My- Forget it. But I'm just sorry he was your friend... And you wish he was alive, even though it doesn't hurt you enough inside to worry for the rest of your life...I wish I could do that..." Daniel said with a slight depressed tone.

"Well you just kind of need a will to do so. Like build a wall, but leave a small opening for the one's you trust most. In this case, It'd be Shinji and my mother. Although you still raise suspicion no offense." Asuka told blatantly

"Oh...And I was wondering...do you guys still have any fears...like anything in the past that haunts you? I know Shinji does for sure, but I mean like if you saw it, you would probably have an episode...I just want to know." Daniel had shyly asked

"Ehh...N-No...Of course not." Asuka lied.

"Oh...Well I'm just afraid of being alone for one more second..The last time we were apart...we almost died. As if we were linked to eachother you know...When the link got thin, we lost worth in life I guess you could say."

Wow Shinji. You're so sure of yourself now. At least with Asuka. I wonder how the others are doing...

"Don't try to belittle him either okay? He obviously knows how to take care of him self Kaji. It worked the whole time when I just layed around letting them do whatever. LOOK...*Sigh* We're in a different world...I know this is the only way we can't fail them. I just can't fail Shinji again..."

"I understand. They're not kids any more...But you honestly feel that way now Misato? Are you truly disgusted by it? Your own feelings?"

Who am I really?

"Well it's not something to be proud of is it? I mean...I still love you. You know that. But Shinji did a lot for me. And I really thought he did it for me. And even then, I still was going to use him as a tool."

"Same thing in college. You know I was doing the same, but I had an attachment to you very soon after..."

"Pppsh yeah. I was a little skeptical at the time too. You were the popular one."

"Enough of that. We live in the present and I just like to say Misato. Have you once looked into their eyes? Shinji's and Asuka's? Don't they seem a little...empty?"

"Sure are...But what about Daniel...I realize that there is something seriously wrong with the two kids but you never once mentioned Daniel since you came here to Tokyo-3...What's his story?"

"Well. His mother was a lot of things to him. A friend, a therapist, and the other important part, The father. She was all these things to him and sadly he knew her till he was just 4. His memories are hazy but the strong folds in his heart stay strong. He always hated her for the way she died. He always thought she chose it selfishly as if she wanted to abandon him. You see, she was an informant like me. This was involved during the EVA experiments and it all started here at NERV. Honestly NERV has a lot of dark secrets nobody seems to notice, and she was just the person who got too into the void. She had an officer let himself into her home, and the man executed her in front of poor Dan. And saying that, the man had not noticed he was in the other room, but seeing her die, he went ballistic and pushed the man off a balcony along with himself. Kid had a crack in his head and the officer died from a fatal drop. Glad that he broke his fall though. So I wasn't there to take care of him, and convinced my cousin to watch over him. He was quiet like Shinji. Good thing right?"

"Well, I'm sure he didn't interfere with his life too much, and may have been a little too easy on raising him. He did show him what the strength of friendship was. Sure my cousin was a lonely man, but only with his few lonely friends, he told me that he had them over for at least one night to err reminiscence the old times. When everyone with them was so young"

"My...how old was he...?"

"Oh, 40."

The two were quiet for a short time but they knocked out of their deep thoughts when all of a sudden the sky had a shade of darkness thicken over the deep red that hovered in their atmosphere, and they felt the red tinted wet liquid hit their bodies as they avoided it letting it get in their eyes.

"D-Damn it! This is happening now?! This hasn't happened since we were just kids, since 2nd impact I mean. It was a phenomenon in the air that some souls from the LCL fluid were, if to enter your body, then you may have had some odd visions. Mainly with the kind that delve deep into your mind, right ? Ms. ehhh..."

"T-those kids had to deal with...THIS? Is that why they're so distant...Is that given explanation of why they're so drawn from reality...like as if it were not real...K-Kaji. Remember taking this stuff into your body at all when you were little? Remember what all the major warnings we got during the bombings after the 2nd impact?"

"Well no, they just told us to stay indoors and that if we ever touched the LCL drops, it'd be bad news. If we ever did we'd suffer brain trauma and possible blood contamination. But those kids couldn't have thought it was just normal? Maybe they were already insane...in this insane world."

"Well even so...they shouldn't feel the pain of solitude that we all did. We've got to help those kids...Quick Kaji. For me. FOR ME!"

The three Teenagers sat outside on a bench taking in the rich red scenery around them in the casual park bench that was down the street from the mall, just miles away from the music house they ran from. Daniel curious as to how they find it normal to see this red liquid fall from the sky, he had to ask more questions.

"So...What the hell is this stuff? It's not regular rain, and it's something you wouldn't regularly see in the world...So what is it?"

"Oh this? I dunno. We just look at it when it falls on us, and we usually just go on with our day. I mean I thought it was weird too...But me and Shinji have gotten used to it. (Maybe we should tell him the part where we go nuts? Hmmm...No he'd just judge us...And I don't need Shinji to get hurt by another useless friend he thinks he should need) Besides. It's kind of cool. I do adore the color red." Asuka acted cool with her simple explanation, as to not give too much information his way.

"W-Well uh actually...Whenever we see this happen...We usually seem to experience things we wouldn't normally...And it's just...I've always wondered if it was in my mind or not...And no, Me and Asuka aren't over it. I appreciate you lying for me Asuka but we can trust Daniel...It's fine..." He gave a thankful look to her and proceeded on the topic. "But what's even stranger...It's not just us who sees it...I mean you can see it too. You were just asking about it I mean. So maybe the Misato and Kaji can see it too...Maybe they won't see the things we have. *Sigh* Even then, we'll just have to deal with it...We have too...We have...We...W-We..." Shinji growing a bit nervous as there was a thick red fog growing around their group and he sought to clear his imagination with the group as soon as possible, but Daniel already decided to.

"T-The fuck is that?! It's a red Fucking cloud! D-Do you guys see that?! A-AHHHH!" Daniel panicked.

"Shit! So we all can see it. D-Damnit...Just...JUST GO TO SLEEP DANIEL! I'll FIND YOU AND ASUKA! I WILL FIND YOU! I-I-I PROMISE!" Shinji said as he faded away into the red fog that engulfed him. Asuka absolutely stunned, could say no words as she had thick sad tears engulf her eyes. She decided to take his word and chose to be the first one to force herself to sleep. Daniel felt helpless and ran into the fog to try and find his friend. He ran in an endless corridor of red and finally reached an open plain with dry weeds sprouting from the brown soil he stood on. All around him was a thick red circle of fog and every time he moved forward, it would only show more of the land ahead. He slowed himself and reached the edge...He peeked down to see what was below and he only saw a familiar blood splatter on the pavement he looked down on.

Having felt like he had seen this before, he felt a force crushing his head inside and he could only keep looking at it...Having the fog clear around him was a 16 year old...A Brown haired boy who was very slim in figure and who's hair was short, only to be a bit shorter then his friend Shinji's exactly. He had his boring black and white striped flannel soak a bit in the fog as he took in the liquid, trying to stare at something else other then the blood stain he caused years ago...His tall 5'9 height just made him feel closer to the sky and farther from the ground. He didn't dare look back...but instead remembered the event that took place when he was only an infant...

He stood in the other room overhearing his mothers conversation with a mysterious man, she told him to stay put until he left, but time would soon tell him that her death was soon to be initiated. He heard a single gunshot and having feeling the greatest fear, he ran out the door and saw the man leave her cold body on the dinner table in front of her laptop with red tinging the bright screen. He was about to say something to the kid but left quietly. He had one foot out the door and had suddenly felt a push from none other then Daniel himself. This 4 year old had pushed him off the tall stairway that had them fall over 3 stories high with the man falling head first while the kid held on for dear life...The older man's head split open, letting loose large amounts of brain fragments and blood. The kid however had better luck, he bounced off the man and fell into a nearby ditch and he had a concussion in his head, with some broken ribs...Now he was afraid to go into further thought about this. He started to pant slowly, he looked at the ground again in real time, and the world around him quickly started to turn pitch black. He was soaking wet from his own sweat, and his panting increased even more to the point to when his own chest was heaving in and out with his shoulders shrugging aggresively, the blood mark had glown brightly like a neon color and was the only visible thing in sight to him in whatever world he was in now.

Meanwhile...We are lost in Shinji's mind...

"What...What do you want? Why must you stalk me Father. You chase me first and now go for my friends...Why do you hate me."

I never hated you. I was afraid of you. I was afraid that maybe my son could never love me, thinking that I may have killed his own mother.

"But you did. And you're a liar, you're dead now and for the better. You think that I'd want your love, after all you put me through, and at the last second you just want to be forgiven? Was this your retribution...I couldn't ever understand how in the world, you'd get that idea...You're crazier then me..."

Shinji now opens his eyes...To stare at those newspaper clippings along his home, the papers that accused his father of murder all those years ago. He was only a child but he knew his parents names by the time his mother had passed away. All he could make out was Gendo Ikari murdered Yui Ikari? Husband turned maniac? Murder...Was a word he heard a lot on the news...Even when he was a baby, talk of the bombings all around the world, and futile wars that went on for a year...leaving families and glad to have been built cities in ash. He looked it over and over, awaiting his fathers return he kept the pace back and forth in his mind...Who put these lies on their home? And if they were true...How would he have to treat his murderous father? Will he be the catalyst to distrupt their family bond...? Seeing his father arive home and greet him awkwardly, he knew what to expect. The kids mom was missing for a week and Gendo lied about it. Maybe he was afraid to get hurt by his own son.

"Shinji. Why are you outside here. You worry me boy."

"P-Papa...What happened to mommy...The bad men from down the street put these up this morning...I saw them come here right after you left for work...These papers say..."

"THESE PAPERS DON'T SAY SHIT SHINJI! YOU CAN'T TRUST WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY. YOU'RE JUST A CHILD AND TO KNOW THIS AHEAD OF TIME, YOU MUST EXPECT A LOT OF LIES FROM EVEN YOUR LOVED ONE'S. THAT'S LIFE AND YOUR MOTHER HAD A GOOD ONE UNDERSTAND?! NOW GET BACK IN THE FUCKING HOUSE..." Gendo scolded Shinji, fearing that his calculation was correct. His son thought wrong of his father and the father was merely thought wrong of his whole life. But to be despised by his own family...Well he was going to have to take some time to him self.

"W-Wait! N-No-no-no-no! DON'T LEAVE ME! FATHER!"

"Oh right...I'm at the train station...where you abandoned me."

Shinji opened his eyes again to see that he was in front of his EVA...his mother was eternally trapped inside of it...And looking deep into it's black void eyes, he saw a shimmer in them...Was it crying? What made it show emotion like this of all times. Having to not take it's eyes off it. He could have sworn he heard Asuka in the background...She was trying to yell at him, but he just fell into a tired state and let his body fall back into nothing. Asuka's voice becoming more clear, he could see himself in a brightly lit room with the two of them naked doing their routine...

"S-Shinji! How can you just doze off like that? What the hell am I some toy to you? GOD YOU'RE ANNOYING!" She said hurtfully as she slapped the teen, getting off of him.

"B-But wh-where the hell..."

"Hasn't this happened before...Oh yeah, that's right."

"Honestly...Who's really in love here? Me or you? Cause if it's just one of us then what's the point Shinji? I'd rather kill myself off before I be used for just pleasure...Really you're no better then Kaji..." The girl said with tears in her eyes as she walked out on Shinji...Leaving him alone in grief as she felt again useless to even him. He lay in their bed as multiple thoughts came to him...She's go kill herself and then he'd do the same...Maybe she was done with him and was going to be alone by herself? No...Shinji couldn't dare think...

"We fought once...Before Kaji came back...about a month before...And I...Was alone..."

Shinji panted just as fiercely as Daniel had been doing and he was in the worst sweat of his life. He was scared and he felt numb again like he was in shock...Would he die from so much stress? Again Shinji felt his life fading away into a cold hole where no hope would come from him...It's just that...in an instant moment, he saw the same boring white room that he had back at home with his teacher...He was 11 years old again and he was in a session with Daniel's Therapist, and this was the first time opened his eyes to the truth, forever changing his outlook on his father...

"Now Shinji, let's say your father was still around, and you just so happened to be told that your mother was the one who would soon murder him...Now before we start, I just want you to know that I am just wanting to see your reaction and how your mind would think from this different outcome. You can tell me anything Shinji...I promise this will all just stay between us. It'd be illegal if I gave such personal information out on a patient of mine anyways." Smiled the nice old lady who assured the boy

"W-Well I don't know...Probably think she did kill him...I was never sure of my dad ever killing her and I'm still not sure even now...I just know that everyone said that. All over the news and all over my front yard there were assumptions of him posing murderer because there was no other report of how she disapeared..."

"Hmm...So did you ever tell your father you thought he killed her?"

"I never came out and said it but I just told him what I read...I guess he thought that I was afraid to tell him..."

"Either way Shinji...He abandoned you. So do you hate him? You ever thought that maybe he was afraid of getting hurt by you?"

"N-No...of course not he's an adult...And I think he just didn't want me after my mom had passed away."

"*Sigh* Well...you are supposed to see him in a week correct? To see your mother's grave site?"

"I'm gonna go. But I'll tell him this time that I hate him...I HATE HIM...For Sure..."

"Shinji...You're mom's gone and you need a father. When you're older you could have a very unstable personality! You're father wasn't around his parents either Shinji...They threw him like trash just like-" The therapist cut herself off, making the kids point of view even worse then before...

"Mother...I'm not your doll."

"Just die with me Asuka...Nobody loves me, and nobody loves you. No one understands us...Nobody will understand me...I saw such a terrific point of view from death...I was so close to it, and you will-"

Asuka is in her home back when she was still just an only lonely child...And this is the same home where her problems started...