Author's Note: I'm back! man, this one chapter was in development hell for a while. I've matured, so has my sense of humor, I'm going into high school, life is sweet so far. Family medical problems are basically solved out by now, I got Smash 64 and Melee now, got some new humor influences (thank you Animaniacs, Nostalgia Critic and Game Grumps!) and I'm trying my hand at game design and animation! You can also find me at Smash World Forums now (under the same name) where I chatter with fellow Smashers about SSB4. Speaking about it, what a reveal! Mega Man, Villager, Wii Fit Trainer, everything's pretty exciting! Also, just because Sakurai "mentioned" Ridley doesn't mean he's a stage hazard! Man, people over analyze everything. On with the story!

Pig Masks guarded the door to the control room as they slept. Dimentio phased right through the door and flew off to the boiler room. On the rafters above, there laid a cardboard box. It balanced on the rafters as it quietly hummed the Pink Panther theme. It fell and it closed as it fell. The Pig Masks inspected it, but instead got a handful of a Nikita. Out of the box dashed Solid Snake, sneaking behind walls looking for his missile launcher. He picked up a Polar Star and examined it.

"Close enough." He coughed as he chewed his tobacco. He spit it out onto a passing Waddle Dee and ran off. He fired it at Goombas and Keese as he threw grenades and cluster bombs onto the celings and support beams. There was a dead Ratatta lying on the floor, with burn marks and a faint blue glow. He noticed a strange magazine on the floor. It was an anime comic, featuring Sailor Moon. "There's only one other guy who could be sneaky yet so obviously here. A certain hitman who's only dream is to kill, read comics, play Call of Duty and watch X-rated films. Touchdown." He grumbled as he spit on another Waddle Dee, only to discover it was a Waddle Doo, burning off parts of his suit with it's beam. He looked around and noticed a figure with a red jacket and ripped jeans slicing up Blue Twirlers and Shy Guys. He held a strange-looking katana, which seemed to be a cross between a lightsaber and a syringe. He laughed as he pushed up his yellow-tinted sunglasses and started to pretend he was Link. He shouted several noises as he performed a Skyward Strike-like slash onto an unsuspecting Gordo, slicing it in half. Two viruses looked at the formerly invincible Gordo and ran, only to be blasted with light from the beam katana. The figure laughed and combed his black hair as he turned around and noticed Snake. An exclamation mark grew over his head and made a sound.

"That's my gimmick, kid." Snake spit out a ring of smoke into the figure's face.

"Hey, I'm not a kid, m'kay? I'm a 27-year old assassin, bub. The names Touchdown. Travis Touchdown. And I've killed more men than your little organization has ever done."

"It's scum like you that make me sick." Snake coughed up a lung as Touchdown inspected the cardboard box next to him.

"I've got reason to believe you're here for the same reason, amigo? You've been sent by your superiors to deal with all of the villainous mojo goin' on 'round here? " He charged up his beam katana and watched it light up.

"Actually, I'm not here for any reason besides the Smashers."

"What's that? Another U.S. Army group that'll attempt to nuke us all?

"No. It's a team of heroes and adventurers like Mario, Link, Samus, Kirby, those guys. Y'know, the heroes from your video games?"

"Holy shit! You're kidding. I thought that I was just seeing things when I slashed up those goonies. You don't know what's in those pills..."

"Shut up, Neo. Now, I hate this idea with every fiber in my being, but in order to get to the main control room, we'll need to work together."

"Suh-weet! Here's the plan: You go destroy the boiler room so that the engine of the ship crashes, and I'll go find Samus, Peach and Zelda in order to prove your theory."

"First, you're staying with me, slick. And second, it's not a theory. There's really a bunch of video-game characters being turned into mindless possessed minions of a mystery man."

"Ugh... fine. If we go destroy the boiler room, which shouldn't be highly guarded, we can cause the ship to lose steam. "

"Causing the place to crash down! It's a good plan, but it's missing something..." Snake rubbed his chin. A lightbulb came over his head as he immediately pulled a cardboard box over the two.

"It's not roomy in this box, y'know... If you're trying to get close, you should know I don't go that way..."

"Shut up, Travis. Otacon, Colonel, Mei Ling, answer. We need to assemble the team. Search for likely team members across the entire area." Snake tried to open up a codec. It didn't work. He sighed when suddenly a figure entered. It was Gray Fox. He continued slicing up everything in front of him. Behind him was Super Meat Boy and Steve, a Minecraft person. They walked up to the cardboard box and Steve mined it with a Diamond Pickaxe. The two heroes got up and they joined the others. The 5 sneaked through the ducts and landed right in front of the employee lounge, the only way to get through to the boiler room without disturbing Dimentio.

"You said it wasn't guarded!" Gray Fox pointed a blade at Travis, who dropped his beam katana.

"Whoah, buddy! Since when do you trust mysterious assassins?"

"I AM a mysterious assassin."

"Touche."

"SHHHH! I hear a growling noise..." Snake motioned for them to hide behind a box of Rare Candy. A dark figure popped out and charged at them. The heroes screamed. The figure unmasked to reveal a bear wearing a monocle and a tux. He smiled like a trollface and plopped himself in front of the door. They all scratched their heads as he coughed and began to speak.

"Hello, my dear boys! I am Moneybags, an entrepeneur and fellow Freedom Fighter for your cause! However, I'm afraid I can't let you through because I rightfully purchased the lounge several days ago... But for a small fee of, let's say, 100 gems, I can let you enjoy yourselves by giving each of you a security pass. How's about a deal?"

"100 Gems? We don't have gems!"

"Oh, I'll take anything as long as it's worth the exchange rate. Rupees, Bells, Coins, Rings, XP Points, Emeralds, whatever you feel is right!" He grinned as they searched their pockets.

"I can't believe I'm paying out my ass for some bear so we can fight the enemy!" Travis reached through a special wallet with "Stripper Money" written in Sharpie on it. "All I've got is dollar bills. Anybody got change?" Eventually, they all paid up and he gave them their keys. The door opened and there was yet another door. They were shocked but immediately looked back at Moneybags.

"Oh, I forgot to mention THAT door, didn't I? It takes a special key to unlock, but it only allows one person to go through per key! Tee hee! Luckily, I have 5 keys in my jacket pocket, but they're rare. Good for you, my small fee has a discount today on them! Today they're only 500 gems.." They groaned at the sound of it, "...each." He laughed and the heroes looked at eachother. Snake pulled out a bag with a dollar sign on it and gave it to Moneybags, and the others followed. He rejoiced, put it in his pocket and gave them each the 5 keys. Steve pulled out blocks of TNT and trapped Moneybags in them. He shouted as they left and entered the lounge.

Pig Masks, Koopa Troopas, Gorons and Fighting Wire Frames filled the room. In the corner was K.K. Slider on a stage performing Toatoka's Song as the minions drank Chateau Romani and ate Koopasta. They all looked up as the heroes entered. The villains dropped their jars and plates and immediately rushed to the heroes. Snake got on his Cypher and continued to shoot grenades at the villains. Travis sliced up the goonies with his beam katana, with Gray Fox behind him slicing up anything within his grasp. Super Meat Boy slid up the walls and floor, leaving behind a trail of raw gravy. He continued to bounce off the faces of the Koopa Troopas, sending shells flying in every direction. Steve hacked up a bunch of Fighting Alloys with his diamond sword. Suddenly, everyone stopped as K.K. Slider immediately yelled "I will now take requests!". The entire group in unison replied "Go K.K. Rider!" and he played as they fought.

"Now, Steve!" Travis yelled as Steve ran up to the stage and pulled a lever. The curtains opened to reveal lines of TNT and Note Blocks. They immediately played in tune with K.K. Slider and when the song stopped, the Note Blocks would send a redstone signal that activated any TNT on the ship. They rushed to the Boiler Room as Super Meat Boy gunked up the gears and the tanks exploded. People started evacuating as a timer started counting. Snake grabbed Super Meat Boy and Gray Fox onto his Cypher and Steve placed a Command Block that would teleport him to safety. Travis watched as the Command Block immediately began to implode and Steve teleported away, but the world was being sucked into an alternate dimension. K.K. Slider and some goons were trapped. Travis sighed, "Looks like Travis has to be the good guy..." and ran into the room. Against the force of the Command Block, he sliced a hole in the ground and ripped Blue Shells off the walls. He equipped everybody with one as they flew down in a blue streak and he was left with nowhere to go.

"Well, time to think over my life. I kicked ass, I'm not a virgin, I got to smush Goombas in real life, I've done well. Maybe I won't go to hell after all. I saved those innocent lives, I've done good. I've lied, cheated and stolen, and of course had sex multiple times, but I did a good deed. It's time to let them know my legacy. LEEEERRRRROYYYYYYYY..." he chanted as he fell into the Command Block, "JJJJEENNNNKKKINNNNSS!" and with that an explosion happened, but immediately imploded into nothingness. The survivors watched as Steve popped up next to them.

"Do... do you think Touchdown made it?" Solid Snake looked at the charred Playboy magazine in his hand.

"The Command Block is dangerous. The redstone signal must have overpowered it and made a pocket dimension. Whatever's still alive is probably burnt to a crisp. Except Moneybags. Somehow he saved the bear. But not himself." Steve looked down and placed a Minecart. And with that, he rode off. Super Meat Boy slid away in the other direction, and Gray Fox stood next to Snake.

"Y'know, he probably made it. Knowing Travis, he's probably wherever the cheapest hookers are, am I right?" Gray Fox elbowed Snake.

"I actually kind of grew on the kid. He was rude as hell, but he reminded me of myself when I was a kid. Thought I was under my own rules then."

"You still are, Snake. You still are."

"Well, Type A is gone, but Dimentio escaped. What do we do now?"

"We assemble everyone." Samus walked up in her armor with every other Smasher behind her ready to fight. Porky, Claus, Ghirahim, Kamek, Pac-Man, Toad, everybody was there and even some new faces, like Dixie Kong, Daisy, Sora, Cloud, King K. Rool and Ryu. Snake and Gray Fox smiled as they walked up to them when suddenly, a figure went between them. It was Skull Kid, wearing Majora's Mask.

"Nobody will escape my wrath. Including Dimentio. But my top priority at the moment is all of YOU." he cackled and they primed for battle.

What is Majora's plan? Did Travis make it? How could I make a chapter with so many indie references without talking about Fez? All this and more coming in the next episode of SSB4 Interviews! And tune in afterwards for the series finale in Super Smash Bros: Dimentio!

Don't worry, I plan on coming back with some new fanfics! One about a forgotten band of Nintendo heroes is in the list, although that might become a comic, there's also some files titled "The First Smash" so I'll let you think on that. Also, the Blue Bomber may be receiving some love very soon... I also recommend looking for a Kingdom Hearts/Phineas and Ferb crossover by LuckyRabbit1927 I believe... it's my old account that I can't get into anymore. APC99 Out! PEACE!