Seven in the afternoon, the sun is already down since it's winter time, the cold is getting always sharper and Piper Chapman is in her bathtub crying. Yes, she's crying, again. The fact is that she cannot stop crying, it doesn't matter how hard she tries, she just can't. She's never thought in her life she could be this attached to somebody, depend on them this much at the point that nothing has sense when they're not with you. She feels sorry for having left Alex when she begged her to stay with tears in her eyes -it was clear she was broken- or for not letting her explain, but Jesus...what would have she done in her place?
She lets out a heavy sigh, her head hurts from all the overthinking. She buries her face, along with her body, completely under the water for as long as her lungs have air. When she emerges she looks for a full minute at the wall in front of her, her expression still. Fuck, she then whispers and gets out. She wraps a towel around her wet body and takes her phone she's placed on the sink. She opens the chat with Alex and just now she notices that she's changed her profile pic with a total black one. Piper remembers clearly what she had previously...it was a picture portraing them, on her bed, in front of the mirror, with Alex hugging her from behind and giving her a kiss on the neck while she was taking the pic. She alludes a small smile at the thought, how she wishes to come back in time.
After a quite while staring, she decides to do what she took her phone for. She doesn't really think about the words too much, she just needs to ask her now, so she types: 'why have you done it?' and sends it. She immediately closes the chat and rushes to dress up and dry her hair. When she's done, she checks her phone for a text back, but sees none. She opens the chat newly and notices the brunette has read without answering. She feels sad and also a lil bit angry, but not too much because after all, she's done it as well.
Without thinking of eating, Piper grabs a bottle of white wine from her fridge and pours herself a glass. This first taste of the drink, gives the blonde even more courage to talk to her beloved green-eyed girlfriend. She enters her bathroom again, takes her phone she left earlier and sits on the floor with the bottle next to her, and the glass in her other hand. She searches for Alex's number, but the voice mails immediately comes in, telling her that she's turned her phone off.
At first Piper doesn't think about leaving a message, but when she hears the sound that adverts her that she could do it, words start to come out. She isn't drunk, she's had just two glasses of wine, she may be only a little fuzzy, but still lucid. In any case, thanks to the little alcohol she has in her system and all the different emotions she's feeling, she speaks without even thinking. "Shalom! Do you know that means both 'hello' and 'goodbye'? Just like Aloha, but you probably knew that. What you may not know it's that today, I've cried even more." She stops for a minute, feeling the last words she's just said. "Do you miss me? Probably not...I miss you." She haven't even thought about admitting it, she's simply felt the need to. "This is Piper by the way." She stops again, feeling the void without the brunette getting bigger and bigger. "Why are you always in my brain?" She suddenly admits and takes another sip of her wine, which makes her come more to reality to what is actually happening. "Wow, I guess things...you know things are bad when you're calling old girlfriends, I mean...I don't know, are you still my girlfriend?" It is more a question to herself than the brunette in reality. "I'm sorry, I don't know what I am doing." She says between a laugh mixed with a wiping. "Shalom." She finishes and hungs the phone, throwing it on the floor. She lets some other tears fall on her cheeks, why has she just done it? And more importantly...how can she stop thinking this much about Alex?
Suddenly, a knock at her door distracts her. She wipes her tears away and goes opening the door. Polly is standing right in front of her.
"Piper!" The girl shouts with a smile and immediately hugs the blonde. When they break apart, she notices her red eyes and her expression changes. "Geez, Pipe...still feeling blue?" The taller woman doesn't answer, she just looks away. "Fuck off, tonight you're comin with me!" Polly exclaims.
At these words, Piper finally gazes up at her best friend. "What? Where?"
"I don't know, let's drink or eat something."
"I don't know Po...I.."
"I don't wanna hear a no." Polly says, placing her hands on the blonde's shoulders. "Go grab your jacket. It will help you...trust me."
Piper doesn't really feel like going out much, but doesn't have the strength to fight back and maybe, it will actually distract her a bit. She does what her best friend has told her and they both begin to walk for the streets of Boston. In a very little time, Polly stops in front of a bar and suggests to enter. The place is so beautiful and cozy, but it just remembers her where she and Alex met. She will never forget that night, it literally changed her life forever. Yes, because even tho now they may not be together, the raven-haired woman has completely upset her life. It doesn't matter if they will make up or not, if Piper will ever see or kiss her again...Alex will forever be the love of her life.
For a couple of hours, the two friends actually have a good time together. Polly was right, this was really needed for Piper, who, in fact, finds herself smiling and laughing for the first time after two days. For a moment, she actually forgets about the brunette...at least in part. As if the destiny just doesn't want them separeted, what Piper sees gazing up in front of her, makes her blood run cold. For a moment, she spots the brunette she loves looking at her from the outside of the bar window. It lasts for lterally a second because when the girl sees she's noticed her, she immediately looks away and a bunch of people surpass her, making her figure disappear. "Alex.." Piper wishpers. When the people are finally out of sight, the girl is gone. It was her, she knows it...she can recognize those dark hair, or that face between millions.
"What?" Polly asks, noticing the blonde is staring in front of her as she's just seen a ghost.
"Alex." Piper repeats louder. "I've seen her.." She says and, before letting her friend answer, she rushes outside. She looks at her left where she spotted Alex, but doesn't see anyone beside some random people and the dark surronding them. "Alex!" She screams, but doesn't receive an answer.
"Piper what the fuck!" Polly has run over her, concerned from her actions.
"She was staring at me.."
"Who? Alex? Okay Piper, I think you're hallucinating." She says, seeing nobody in the direction Piper is looking into.
"But I thought it was her.." She softly replies with her gaze lost somewhere, maybe still searching for the brunette. Was it really just an illusion? It is impossible, she was sure it was her, but maybe... geez, it seems a fucking movie scene.
"Let's come back inside now, Pipe." Polly calmly says and leads them back in. When they sit, she looks at her best freind in front of her who has suddenly turned pale. "Jesus Piper, you cannot keep going on like that."
"I miss her, Pol. I terribly miss her presence that I find it hard to breath and there's nothing I can do.." Piper replies almost crying.
"There is something you can do! Go talk to her!" She sees the blonde isn't answering, keeping her gaze at her hands. Some tears are falling from her eyes. "Jesus Piper, it's clear you still feel something for her!"
"Of course I do, Polly...I'll always do.." Piper says lowering her voice always more, the realization of her words hurts.
Polly sighs. She takes her best friend's hands so she can finally look into her eyes. "Piper, listen, when you told me about her for the first time, I already saw how you happy she made you but fuck, I still had to see you two together." She sees Piper is now really listening to her, so she continues. "When I've seen you together, it's been like I have never met you before. You were radiant as I have never, ever, seen you in my life. You were smiling non stop, you had this dreamy expression all night long and when you two looked at each other...damn, I almost got goosebumps." The blonde doesn't know what to answer, she just looks at her friend with her month slightly opend, her mind processing all the words she's heard. Does her best friend really mean what she's said?
"Piper, I know it hasn't been easy to get to know those information and I know it hurts to think she didn't trust you, but you cannot say she hasn't loved you." Polly says. "Seriously, go to her and talk this out. She must have had her reasons for not telling you, and she surely can't live without you either. Pipe, you two are made for each other."
Piper stays silent for a minute, everything she's just heard has literally got her speechless. She's right, Polly is fucking right. She knows Alex and has seen who she truly is...the person who's been able to love her since the beginning, the one who's made her feel the happiest, who's accepted her for who she is and now...she has do it too. "You know what Pol? You're completely right. I have to see her." She says, takes her jacket and before going away, she turns again to her best friend. "Thank you, Polly." She leaves some money for what she's ordered and runs out of the bar.
Alex closes the restaurant doors behind her and starts walking toward her house. She hears a thunder, looks up at the skiy and sees the dark clouds. It is going to rain. Great, she ironically thinks to herself. She starts to walk faster, hoping to arrive at home before the thunderstorm.
She passes next to various bars, but one particularly caughts her. She indeed spots with the corner of her eye the blonde who's been in her mind for all this time. She suddenly stops in her tracks and gets closer to being able to see more properly. Fuck, it's really her. She's talking to her best friend...Molly, Polly...whatever, and, even tho she's smiling, Alex can see she isn't actually okay. Damn, she gets everyday more gorgeous .
She doesn't know for how much she's stayed like that, but suddenly she notices Piper looking up at her. She see her expression changing, she seems surprised to see her or maybe she just didn't expect it. Before she can do anything, a mass of people run over her, making her walking away from that bar and breaking their eye-contact. When she menages to to free herself from that mass of people, she looks back at the direction of the bar for a second. Has it been real?
She shakes her head, thinking she really needs to rest a bit. She starts to walk away quickly, feeling the first raindrops falling on her, but suddenly she hears her name being called. "Alex!" That voice, she can recognize that voice between millions. Is Piper actually calling her?
She turns around and without realizing it, she calls back. "Piper?" She says, but doesn't receive an answer. Maybe it is because she is too far now, maybe because she hasn't screamed as loud as her, but she doesn't hear anything, so she keps on walking. She really must be hallucinating.
In some minutes, Alex is finally home. The rain has just started to fall heavier and she's happy she's made it on time. She throws herself on the sofa, her hands in her hair. What the fuck is happening? She knew it was Piper, she can recognize her anywhere, but it has literally lasted a second that she doesn't even know if it has been real or not.
She sighs in frustation and takes her phone, turning it on. She sees the blonde has tried to call her and left her a message. She listens to it, to all of it and damn, tears start to form in her eyes. She misses Piper, she desperately does and knows she'll never recover from her. She knows she'll never find another girl like her, she's been and will always be the only woman she has ever loved or showed her most vulnerable part to.
Fuck. She thinks to herself. What are you doing Alex? What are you scared of? She's the love of your life, she's the best thing that has ever happened to you and what you doing? Staying at home waiting..for it to resolve itselfs? No. Not this time. Not with Piper. You made all of this and you gotta fix it. And with this thought the brunette takes back her jacket and rushes out of her apartment, but when she opens the door, she finds her standing there.
"Pipes?" Alex asks, not expecting it at all and fearing this can be another illusion.
"Al..." She's surprised to see her before she could knock herself. "Shalom."