Chapter Thirteen:

Weeks

School was a whirlwind of despair. Literally. For both Quinn and Rachel, their school lives felt cold and empty, dark and hazy as if there was nothing about it that made going their worthwhile. The sounds were quieter, the colours dimmer and the days were full of boredom. Even in Glee – and their other favourite subjects they had – just seemed like a waste of time. There was no life in anything any more. Nothing had a purpose any more. Not just just school, but everything.

Back in her room, Quinn would flip through the photographs on her camera and the ones she had developed of her and Rachel. She stared longingly at one particular photograph. The one that made her heart ache to the point where crying and actually clutching onto her chest was the only way to ease the pain. In the picture, it was her and Rachel up in her room, on her bed. The room was dark but they had torches lighting up their faced. They were both smiling at each other, with love and tears in their eyes. Rachel's face was loose around her shoulders and her eyes were sparkling. Quinn's was in a half and half style, tied in little plaits that Rachel had done for her. It was only a simple picture; nothing important or significant about it. They weren't dressed up or in any particular poses, but that was what Quinn loved. It showed Rachel in all of her pure beauty and showed Quinn what she looked like when she was completely and utterly happy.

She feared that, without Rachel, she would never have that carefree and complete happiness and glow again.

With her finger she would trace the outlines of Rachel's face and lip, biting back her tears.

At home, in her room, Rachel wouldn't sing. In fact she wouldn't even sing in Glee Club, allowing other members of the group to take solos. This would cause much shock amongst the group, and Quinn would begin to protest; saying that Rachel was absolutely the best singer in the group and so she deserved having all the solos. Of course, that would cause more uproar, although unusually not just by the other members of the group, but by Rachel herself.

She would bite back saying that if she didn't want to sing she didn't have to, and besides, everyone deserved a solo at some point. The blonde would then question her motives; of course knowing all a long that it was because she was too sad to sing. It also felt like some sort of punishment. Quinn loved to hear Rachel sing. It was her favourite sound, no matter what song or tune. Listening to her singing made her day – and it seemed – life better. Her angelic voice would lift her mood and make her smile. So by Rachel refusing to sing, even in group performances, was Quinn's punishment for her breaking the girl's heart.

Throughout all the exchanges in Glee Club, the girls would not look at each other. Instead they would address their points to other members of the club, trying to persuade them to talk some sense into the other girl. Mostly it would end up with Mr Schuester settling the argument. Much to Quinn's dismay – and to some form of false degree Rachel's – the solo would go to someone else, and the argument would be put to rest.

Everyone in the Glee Club had noticed the change between the girls: going from enemies, to friends, to close friends, to now being enemies again. Santana had commented on how exhausting their love/hate relationship had been. When she announced that particular thought in the middle of Glee Club, after a certain argument between the two, both the blonde and brunette snapped their heads to look at the Latina.

Immediately they began to question her on what she mean by 'relationship'. Another fight began involving almost everyone in the room, and Mr Schuester even had to tear apart the feisty blonde and the roaring Latina, once the fight had transformed from a battle of words to physical contact.

"You take that back!" Quinn had screeched. It was out of fear if anything. Moments before she lunged at her best friend, Santana had blurted out in the heat of the moment; "Maybe you're just protecting Berry because you're in love with her and have some sick sexual fantasy about her singing to you!" She didn't get a chance to continued with the rant, as Quinn had jumped forward; her hand outstretched like claws and her teeth baring like a lion, eyes flaming.

Quinn couldn't risk anyone finding out about their relationship. She loved the girl. But of course, she had just told Rachel the most offensive insult to their relationship she could have ever said. During the fight, and the blonde's reaction to Santana's words, it looked to Rachel like her words were true and instead of performing her classic diva storm out, she had wiped a tear from her eye and slipped out of the room without anyone, but Quinn, noticing. Of course by the time Quinn had noticed she was gone, there was nothing she could do: a new layer of hatred and heartbreak had been added.

Christmas was nearing, and the girls still hadn't looked each other in the eye. The last time they did was that awful afternoon. They hadn't spoken in Glee or any other time, and especially since Quinn denied to even have any friendly feelings towards Rachel.

Still they although they hadn't talked or looked at each other, they still thought about each other constantly. For one reason, even though they loved each other beyond reasoning, they were still themselves: stubborn. Neither wanted to crack under the pressure of their hearts breaking more and more each day, and neither wanted to show that the pain was hurting them more as time went on. For the other, it was just too hard.

Until Quinn decided to change all that.

Two days before Christmas, her father was out at work and Judy was at home taking a break from all the preparing for the day to the arrive. Quinn walked into her mother's little office where she was sowing on a festive pattern for her husband to wear on Christmas day.

She knew she had to do it. This was the only way that Quinn could prove to Rachel that she was serious about them and that she really did love her. That, and the present she had made for her.

"Mom, I need to tell you something." Quinn stated with a nervous habit of twiddling with her fingers. Judy snapped her up and plastered on her smile, the same one she had been wearing for almost twenty five years of marriage with her husband. "What that Quinn?" She asked, as if she hadn't heard her due to the racket her sowing machine was making.

Her daughter felt it was best if she sat down. If anything just to stop herself running away. She gulped and looked her mother in the eye; "It's important and I'm afraid you might hate me."