Well as we hurtle towards the grand finale (ok that's hyperbole) I'd like to thank those taking the trouble to review - cheers. Special thanks to shinigami9x for the help fine tuning this chapter :)
Quinn was in the Lima bean half an hour early as she had been unable to sleep. She seated herself in a corner so she could see the doorway, a rapidly cooling coffee and an untouched croissant sat in front of her. She'd spent the night running through her interactions with Rachel, her interactions with Rachel's dads and watching her Rachel video. She'd played out various scenarios in her head before concluding the genie was out of the bottle and turning off her feelings for Rachel was an impossibility. She'd tried not to build her hopes up just because Rachel had a video exclusively of her on her phone, or because their text exchanges had hinted at enjoying each others company, or because Rachel had actively gone out of her way to comment on Quinn's beauty, or even because they'd been pretty tactile in their one-on-one interactions. It didn't necessarily mean anything, did it?
Quinn felt the weight of mistakes she had made – who in their right mind would want to be involved with a teenage mum from an intolerant family who had spent so much time being horrible? In all honesty, Rachel was too good for her, and she really should leave Rachel free to achieve amazing things without being dragged down by her and all her baggage. The Berry Dads were right to be wary of Rachel having any involvement with her. In fact, maybe this meeting was a bad idea – maybe Rachel was just coming along to list all the reasons they couldn't be friends, with a copious input from her Dads. In the unlikely event of Rachel wanting to be friends, surely she wasn't worth Rachel running the gauntlet of her Dads' rather deep-set disapproval. As for romance, it wasn't so much off the table as to be in the basement locked in a cupboard.
Tina glanced nervously around the classroom again. The lesson had started and there was no Quinn present, which was highly unusual. There was also no Rachel, which was unheard of. Rachel was never late; she seemed to consider arriving on time tardy, and she certainly had never missed a single day of school. Perhaps Quinn was somewhere busy digging a shallow grave to hide a body in? Tina smiled briefly at the ridiculousness of that thought before she started to seriously speculate on what might have happened. Quinn had gone round to Rachel's last night, and now both girls were uncharacteristically absent. Something must have happened. A catfight? It was hard to imagine Rachel participating in such an activity, and would Quinn be able to beat up someone who didn't attempt to defend herself? Then it struck Tina that maybe Quinn's wrath wouldn't be reserved exclusively for Rachel. It had all been Mercedes idea and she'd just been an innocent bystander – not really an argument that was going to win her any points or mercy. She'd even tried to get the stupid bet called off. Mercedes and Rachel were so stubbornly über competitive with each other that they'd rejected that opportunity to avoid all this mess. Tina sighed. Quinn would be gunning for both her and Mercedes, so she should be glad Quinn wasn't in school today. Should she warn Mercedes? She was more in favour of just letting events play out; it was entirely Mercedes fault she was in this mess, she'd just wanted a couple of solos out of it. She decided she'd make an effort to contact Rachel if she didn't appear by the end of the day, partly to find out if Rachel was okay, but partly to get the heads up on what Quinn might have planned in the way of revenge. If Rachel could still talk, that was
Rachel parked her unusually music-free car in the car park adjacent to the coffee shop. Despite an extensive and eclectic range of songs on her iPod, she couldn't decide on an appropriate music accompaniment for her journey. Somehow Berlioz's Symphonie Fantastique - March To The Scaffold seemed a little too dramatic, if rather apt, for her early morning car ride. No doubt somewhere there was a country tune that fitted her circumstances exactly but, after a night of tossing and turning, she didn't have the energy to find it. So she had driven from Uncle John's with only her troubled thoughts to fill the silence. She still didn't know how to broach the topic of the challenge, or even how much she'd get to say before Quinn unleashed a verbal ear bashing. Quinn wasn't a 'leave in a dramatic flourish' kind of girl, but more a 'verbally lash out and try to hurt as much if not more' sort of person. Quinn had the power to hurt her; she just hoped she'd be able to hide the devastating effect of Quinn's words like she usually did. It wasn't as if there were any new areas for Quinn to attack. She'd comprehensively, and somewhat brutally, insulted every aspect of Rachel over the years. The Quinn she'd been interacting with recently was so different - thoughtful, fun and someone she definitely wanted to know better - but she was going to be the reason for old Quinn returning. Rachel sighed as she pushed the cafe door open and took a step closer to her doom.
Quinn noticed Rachel as soon as she entered the cafe. She was looking tired and drawn, she seemed drained of energy and her posture was uncharacteristically slouched. Quinn wanted to rush up and hug her and reassure her that everything was all right and would be okay. Quinn's day had just got better. She bit her lip; she was uncertain where things stood between them, so she resisted the urge to offer comfort. Rachel ordered her coffee before finally allowing her eyes to sweep the room. Her heart rate rocketed as she noticed Quinn, looking as beautiful as ever despite dark smudges under her eyes. She smiled in reaction to spotting Quinn, before the smile faded as she remembered why she was here. Quinn noticed the fading smile and felt suddenly scared of what Rachel was going to say. Rachel fought the urge to cry as she made her way to Quinn's table. She took a seat opposite Quinn before managing to mutter a "hi". Rachel's hand reached keen for contact to grab hold of Quinn's arm, but froze midair as she realised what she was doing.
"Hi." responded Quinn. She reached out to interlace her fingers with Rachel, and then brought both of their hands down to rest, joined, on the table. Rachel stared at their intertwined fingers and tried to swallow the lump in her throat. Quinn's thumb was gently stroking hers - perhaps they could just stay like this forever? Quinn searched Rachel's face for some clue of what she was feeling, with little success. Time slowly dragged on.
"Is everything okay with your Dads?" Quinn finally asked, desperate for some verbal interaction and a chance to try and read where Rachel was at. Rachel dragged her eyes away from their joined hands.
" Not sure really. I'm going on to meet them after we've..." She swallowed nervously before whispering, "talked."
Quinn squeezed her hand. "I'm sure it'll be okay," she said, wincing at the bland fix-all nature of her statement. "They seem quite protective of you," she added, hoping that didn't seem like a criticism.
Rachel smiled briefly, refocusing her eyes on their hands. "My Dads' intolerance of intolerance would be amusing if they weren't so strident and serious about it." Rachel sighed at the memory of her father's Fabray fixation, so very different from her own.
"I'm sorry if he said anything that upset or hurt you," Rachel said softly, her watery eyes locking on Quinn's. Quinn glanced down at the tabletop. Leroy hadn't really said anything undeserved; it had been harsh, but fair.
" Your Dads are probably right, on past experience, to be wary of me. I've been unhappy and hateful. I had no right to take my self-loathing out on you." Quinn struggled to force the words out. She disliked talking about herself. "I'd like to think I've treated you better recently, even if it doesn't even begin to make up for all the time I've been... um, mean." Quinn could feel tears pricking her eyes. Was she really feeling sorry for herself for being horrible? Rachel began to feel worse about her own actions – "Suffering from poor self-esteem? Don't worry. Rachel Berry can kick you while you're down." ran through her head in the style of an advert.
"The past is past," reassured Rachel. No prizes for deep philosophical insights there, she then admonished herself. "What matters is how we deal with the present." Please deal with the present in a sympathetic and forgiving manner, she failed to add.
"Rachel, you're kind-hearted, loyal, and don't intentionally hurt people – and you are probably too quick to forgive." Rachel wouldn't meet her eyes and was looking embarrassed. Quinn put it down to her shyness on being complimented and ploughed on. "You're more than just an exceptionally talented singer."
Rachel squirmed in her chair. Tell her now yelled her inner voice. Now. She'd never felt so nervous. She'd always have a few butterflies before a big performance, especially if it was unrehearsed like 'Don't rain on my parade' had been, but this was a whole new level of fear.
"I don't know what Tina told you," she managed to say as her inner voice laughed harshly at her for stating the obvious.
"Very little," Quinn grinned, "I asked her what all the impossible stuff was about between you and Mercedes." Quinn broke off; perhaps admitting she thought Rachel and Mercedes might be involved wasn't a good idea. She'd come across as highly jealous - which she was, but that was hardly a selling point. "Um, anyway she just kept repeating I needed to ask you."
Rachel was split between feeling pleased Tina hadn't blabbed and irritated that Tina had left her to explain everything. Where to begin? She really didn't need Julie Andrews in her head telling her to 'start at the very beginning, a very good place to start'.
"I don't know if you've noticed, but Mercedes and I have a somewhat antagonistic relationship," Rachel stated. Quinn nodded wishing Rachel hadn't used the word relationship in the same sentence as Mercedes.
"When we're not fighting over solos..." Rachel inched closer to the precipice.
"Which you should have every time. It shouldn't even be a contest," asserted Quinn, surprised when Rachel didn't acknowledge the truth of her statement. Rachel missing an opportunity to exert her right to every solo meant things were indeed very serious.
"Then we're trying to prove the other wrong over anything, homework, music, TV shows. You name it, we'll have argued about it." Rachel paused. There was no reason to add that she invariably won such disagreements, which had resulted in Mercedes becoming more and more determined to prove her wrong. Quinn nodded to encourage Rachel to continue, still unsure where this was leading and how it involved her.
"Anyway, we were talking one lunchtime and I was advocating the power of positive thinking." Rachel so wished she'd never broached the topic. She might win every argument with Mercedes, but she was in an amateur league compared to her when it came to manipulating people. How skillfully she'd been set up.
"Positive thinking?" Quinn was mildly amused. Was Rachel's drive and energy all about positive thinking?
" You know, nothing's impossible if you put your mind to it," Rachel explained deciding to skip the part about 'even if you really don't want it'.
Quinn grinned. Given Mercedes naturally pessimistic and negative manner, she could imagine how well that conversation went.
"So Mercedes set you something impossible to achieve then," ventured Quinn, understanding how easily Rachel would have been attracted to such a proposition. Impossible wasn't really in Rachel's vocabulary. Rachel was virtually unstoppable, if somewhat scarily intense, once she set her mind on something. Quinn recalled Rachel persuading the girls to step up and play for the football team. although the others had drawn the line at the intensive training program that Rachel had also suggested. Quinn smiled fondly at the memory of Rachel in a football kit.
"I... er, well, 'nigh impossible', yes," floundered Rachel.
"'Nigh impossible'?" queried Quinn.
"Well, walking on water, flying to school, and me singing flat are just never going to happen. Mercedes wanted to set something theoretically possible, but so incredibly unlikely that I'd fail," Rachel tailed off.
Quinn was smiling indulgently at her.
"I love the fact you're so confident about your singing ability," Quinn said fondly. "Totally justified of course," she added, noting Rachel's worried expression.
'Don't be distracted, her admiration of anything to do with you is going to be short-lived,' Rachel told herself.
"Anyway, Tina thought I should give up all my solos to the pair of them and be happy about it, which is, quite frankly, outrageous when you consider the impact that would have on the entire glee club." Rachel recognized she was babbling, but didn't know how else to blurt out what she needed to say. "So Mercedes said that wasn't nearly impossible enough, that something far closer to impossible was needed, and then she suggested..." Rachel paused to swallow nervously.
"She said I should... Well, she challenged me to..."
Quinn felt herself nodding in an attempt to encourage Rachel to spit it out.
"She challenged me to go on four dates," Rachel finally managed to say, noting Quinn's quizzical look. "With you," she added softly, watching the words have an immediate impact. Quinn withdrew her hand from Rachel's and her face became expressionless, making her features appear sharper. Rachel reached across the table to try and place a hand on Quinn's arm. She just needed Quinn to listen to her. Quinn leaned back to avoid Rachel's outstretched hand, simultaneously fixing Rachel with a glare. Rachel felt panicked. She could tell Quinn was retreating physically and emotionally from her.
Suddenly, Quinn stumbled to her feet. It had all become clearer to her now: Rachel went out with her because of some stupid bet she had with Mercedes, not because she liked her. How could she have been so stupid as to think Rachel could actually like her? Nobody really liked her. Even her own family had rejected her. She was incredibly conflicted, wanting to slap Rachel, shout and scream at her as well as ignore her. The idea of Mercedes and Rachel both laughing at her was mortifying - bet the failed attempted kiss was a particularly amusing anecdote, although Rachel's current expression didn't suggest she found any of their present interaction humorous. Quinn needed to escape before she said something that did irrevocable damage. She needed to go away and think rationally about everything, and most of all she needed to escape as soon as possible and not allow Rachel the satisfaction of seeing her cry. She headed for the door with Rachel scrambling after her.
"Quinn, please don't leave! We need to talk. I didn't... It wasn't like it sounds." Rachel ignored the curious looks from the other customers as she chased after Quinn. It felt imperative that she didn't let Quinn think their interactions were just due to a stupid bet. Quinn pulled the door open rather more aggressively than she intended and strode onto the street.
"I tried to get out of it once I realized..." Rachel pleaded. "I really enjoyed our time together. I thought you did too. I didn't mean to hurt you. Please talk to me." Rachel was trying to make Quinn stop by standing in her path, but Quinn kept dodging round her, refusing to meet her eyes.
Quinn was striding towards her car, struggling to keep her emotions under control and only half listening to what Rachel was saying. Trust Rachel to be uninhibited enough to allow her tears to show. Did she have no pride?
"It was a mistake. I wanted to tell you, but everything just happened too quickly. Quinn, please. No one at school knows we went out together. I think we could be good friends. I like spending time with you." Rachel hardly had time to spare on formulating decent arguments; she was busy trying to delay Quinn and wipe tears from her eyes so she could see where she was going. Disaster didn't even begin to cover the current situation. They were at Quinn's car; she needed a killer argument right now. Quinn fumbled with her car keys. She could feel tears beginning to well up. She just needed to get away from here.
"Don't shut me out. Talk to me. Shout at me, do something!" Rachel begged as Quinn opened the car door.
A tight-lipped Quinn tried to ignore her. She was just about holding herself together. She mistakenly quickly glanced at the devastated girl in front of her. She momentarily considered just hugging her. She hated to see Rachel look so sad, but self-preservation and pride stepped in.
"Don't let us part like this. Quinn, I'm sorry. Please?"
Rachel was sounding increasingly desperate. Quinn shut the door and scrambled to put the keys in the ignition. She avoided looking at Rachel as she didn't want to see what expression matched the anguish in that voice. She didn't want to be tempted into some act of forgiveness.
Rachel beat her hands on the driver's window.
"Quinn, please. We have the potential to be so much more than friends." Rachel threw caution to the wind, but to no avail.
Quinn finally managed to pull away in the car, just before her tears started.
With a rising sense of despair, Rachel watched Quinn's car drive away. She and Quinn might not have been friends before, but now everything had changed: there was no hope of going back to how they were before. She didn't really have time to process all that had just happened as her Dads were expecting her presence at a family meeting very shortly.
Rachel headed towards her car. She needed to pull herself together in order to face her Dads' need to talk over the events of the previous evening, in excessive detail, with a dissection of accompanying feelings. Rachel sighed, wiped her eyes and straightened her shoulders, and now for the best performance of her career to date. Unless she wanted some kind of family therapy with her Dads, she needed to present a rational, happy, just mildly disappointed front to them, not too devastated by the events of last night nor too blasé. It was a delicate balance to strike, and her Dads would be scrutinizing her for just the tiniest sign of anything out of the ordinary that they could worry obsessively over. Time to hide her devastation. She grimaced. Her meeting with her Dads would be equally painful, just in a different more soul-searching, hand wringing kind of way. Now would be an ideal time to run away, but she'd already played that card. As for Quinn - she bit her lip to fend off a wave of fierce emotions - it was out of her hands. The ball was in Quinn's court and Rachel would just have to suck up whatever Quinn felt she needed to do. There certainly wasn't any song to fit her current situation, she mused as she started her car and drove off in silence.
It's tempting to end the story at this point and leave you to your own imaginations...