I am exceedingly glad to know that now Amy's inability to drive properly is now practically cannon. Yay comic relief!

Sorry for the excessive lateness of this. 1.) I've been having issues with fanfiction refusing to allow me to access the page that would allow me up on the page. This was supposed to be up two Tuesdays ago. 2.) Scholarship season and calculus. I will try to update more regularly once scholarship season is over. So no promises until then.

DISCLAIMER: I own none of this, save the idea.

PUBLIC WARNING!: Everyone who has a license, wants to get a license, will ever be behind a wheel, even if it's just a Playstation (or other gaming format) one…this is not how you're supposed to drive. Ever.

Once Amy had stopped careening wildly on the back road*, the Doctor sat up on the floor of the moving van. Again. "Right, Amy, your husband no longer has a criminal record. Rory! Folder. Take. Now." The Doctor hit his male companion on the arm with the unsurprisingly thin folder.

"And I was going to get a tattoo and everything." Rory commented dryly as he placed it on the dashboard.

The car swerved once more as Amy turned to face Rory. "Ooh, what would it say? Married to the best girl in the world? I love my Amy?"

"I was more thinking "I traveled in time with an alien and all I got was arrested." I'd have to get it on my back though. I don't think it'd fit on my arm well."

"You two, stop it. Eyes on the road, eyes off the skirt! Wayne, Patrick, this is off your records too." The Doctor handed over their folders respectively, "Erased all of it. Touch of luck and a sonic screwdriver. It can do that."

"You are such a bloke." Amy called from the drivers seat.

"Talked about this already, Pond! I am not a typical bloke. Space Gandalf." The Doctor told her grumpily. He hated being compared to the average human 'bloke'. He was the last Time Lord from the Planet Gallifrey, and that was that.

Grace coughed slightly, "I hate to interrupt, but is there somewhere we can stop so that I can get changed?"

"Why?" The Doctor looked over at her in confusion, "You look fine. Amy's right, you two could start a modeling business."

"Not the sort of business I was talking about Doctor." Amy sighed, "Kissogram business."

The Doctor sighed at her, "You and your kissograming."

"What's a kissogram?" Rigsby asked.

"You go to parties," Amy sighed, "And kiss people in costumes."

"Who's in the costumes?" Jane asked with a laugh.

"Could be both. Been to some odd places." The Doctor answered. "Not as the one who was doing the kissing, though. Well, once or twice. Wasn't on purpose. "

"How do you kiss someone by accident?" Lisbon asked, sitting in Jane's lap. He had insisted, and besides, it was more comfortable than being tossed around by Amy's driving. Watching the way

"Depends on how many mouths they have!"

"Wait," Rigsby said, the conversation, along with previous conversations and incidents, finally dawning on him, "Are you guys not really law?"

"Nope."

"Not exactly."

"I'm better than the law."

Came the simultaneous reply of the three time travelers. Rigsby looked around at all of them, then at Lisbon. "Boss? Why'd you let them on the case if they don't have the security clearance? If they're not police or Torchwood or U.N.I.T or what ever they said they were?"

The Doctor's smile was exceedingly smug. "I have the highest security clearance all over the planet in all of the centuries, and also on pretty much every planet. Amy and Rory are just along for the ride."

"Bloke." Came the insult.

"Amy!" The Doctor scolded, "Rory, keep your wife in line."

"I'm not sure how to." Rory murmured. "Amy, you need both hands on the wheel-ouch!"

"I need one hand to poke you. And Doctor, that was so bragging."

He frowned at her back. "That was pointing out a complete truth."

"Showing off to all the girls-"

"Shush, Amy. We need to get down to business." The Doctor sat up straight again just as Amy turned a corner. "Pond! I don't want a concussion!"

As Grace helped him up, he said, "We'll go back to CBI head quarters. Can some one turn off that GPS? I don't like them haven't liked them since ATMOS. Oh, those Sontarans. All 'Sontar-ha'. Sontar-ho! Never see their females, did you know? Sontar-whee!"

"I need to get to CBI office, and I don't know the way." Amy told him, rolling her eyes. The Doctor glared at her as she mouthed 'Space Gandalf' at him.

"Pull off to the side of the road, then. Carefully. And then you go sit on Rory's lap. Grace, you go drive, you're good at that. And I'll take your seat. Unless you two don't want to sit together," The Doctor asked Jane and Lisbon, suddenly concerned.

"Nope." Jane grinned, "Lisbon doesn't want me let alone. Every time I end up in jail, she doesn't trust me. She'd rather sit on me then let me walk around alone."

"The last time you ended up in jail, you broke out."

"Every time I end up in jail, I break out. This was definitely breaking out."

The Doctor sat down comfortably, "Now, everyone, I have a thing. It's not a plan, not yet. But it will be. Pond, stop rolling your eyes."

"What. A. Bloke."

*Still careening. Just not wildly.

Please read and review! I had lot of fun writing this and I promise that I'll start writing the new chapter soon!I also want to thank everyone who's stuck with it so far(despite my awful updating these past few weeks). I also want to thank all of the new readers!