The following takes place between 8 A.M. and 9 A.M.

Frank had finally woken up. He saw Percy standing above him.

"Hey Frank, wake up. There's all sorts of bamboo prepared for you, chocolate chip bamboo, vanilla bamboo, strawberry bamboo, and bamboo flavored bamboo," Percy said.

Frank knew that none of those flavors of bamboo existed, and why was bamboo flavored bamboo considered a separate flavor, but he knew from experience by that point that asking Percy such questions would only lead to headaches for him.

"So, what are we doing?" he asked. That seemed to be the more reasonable question.

"I'm going to go see your grandma," Percy said.

"Why?"

"Don't you know?" Percy said. "This is the cliche moment in the story when an old Chinese person will give advice to the main character about the plot and such. And seeing as I'm the only main character around here, it must be me."

"No, Percy, you didn't read the script. I'm supposed to go get advice from her," Frank said.

"But you're just a minor character. And we all know that the old Chinese masters in movies never give training to the minor characters," Percy said.

Frank ignored him and went to his grandmother's room. She was apparently very sick, because Frank could only see parts of her body. The odd thing was that what he was seeing was weird.

"Come here," she said, but there was something odd about it.

"Oh grandmother, what a deep voice you have," Frank said.

"The better to greet you with."

"Wow, you have pretty big eyes all of a sudden," Frank pointed out.

"The better to see you with."

"And what big hands you have," Frank noticed. This was all getting very weird very fast.

"All the better to hug you with, child."

Definitely weird. His grandmother was never that nice.

"And what a big mouth you have," Frank said.

"The better to eat you with!"

A wolf jumped out of the sheets and leapt at Frank before suddenly stopping.

"You're not Little Red Riding Hood," the wolf said.

"You think? What are you doing in my house?" Frank asked.

"Sorry, wrong house," the wolf answered. "I really don't like eating people anyway, what I like is magical bamboo, but, wait, is that chocolate chip flavored bamboo? And bamboo flavored bamboo? My favorites!"

The wolf then bounded outside the room, probably to start feasting on the bamboo that had been left for Frank. Not that Frank ate bamboo.

"That was weird and utterly random. Even by this fanfic's standards. Like seriously, a magical wolf that eats bamboo?" Frank said.

Just then, Frank's real grandmother walked in and started telling him he was a fat oaf, so Frank was sure that that was really her.

"Now, aren't you going to tell me about the family gift?" Frank asked.

"Fine then, Fai, now listen up closely," she said. "What happened was that one day, one of your ancestors decided to take a shortcut on the way home along with some of his friends. He went onwards to a construction site, where he saw that an alien spaceship had landed. An alien came out, and it was dying and gave him the power to turn into any animal after absorbing its DNA for two hours so he could save the earth."

"Grandmother," Frank said. "That's not how we got our powers. That's the plot of the Animorphs books. Does nobody in this fanfic remember their lines properly? What's supposed to happen is that Poseidon blessed our ancestors and gave them powers which we have and now we can turn into absolutely anything that we want."

"If you already knew that, why did you bother even asking?"

"Uhh..." Frank said. He really didn't know why. Truth was that he had figured it all out in the earlier chapters when Percy had been hogging all the glory. So what was the point of this scene? "So, are you going to shrivel up and die or something?"

"Foolish child," she said. "We all know that old Chinese people never shrivel up and die. They instead pass away in various ambiguous and oddly poetic ways."

And with that, she turned into a crane and flew outside.

Percy walked in. Frank looked pretty sad, so Percy decided to cheer him up.

"Don't worry, I'm sure that we'll gather the Dragonballs and wish her back. Or maybe you could learn the Edo Tensei, it should only take you about five hundred years," Percy said.

"What happened to the wolf?" Frank asked to change the topic. "Were you surprised?"

"Of course not. Magical talking bamboo eating wolves are all over the place where I come from. You can see hundreds riding the New York Subway every single day," Percy said.

Frank supposed Percy was joking.

All things aside, it was finally time to leave. But then, Frank suddenly realized that he could just take Hazel and abandon Percy to be attacked and eaten by the monsters outside which had conveniently agreed to wait till the end of the chapter before attacking.

How could this dilemma possibly be solved? In the most cliche manner that we can think of, by having two of those small characters you see in cartoons appear on Frank's shoulder and argue.

A small miniature Frank dressed in red and carrying a pitchfork appeared on one side. "Just abandon that idiot Percy. You'll be doing the world a big favor. He's never been nice to you either, and you'll probably get everything you want once he's gone."

Frank had to say that most of what that guy said was right. But he was sure that the angel would have a much better argument for why he should take Percy.

Another small version of Frank appeared in a white robe and holding a harp. "You know, now that I think about it, you should probably just leave him. He deserves it."

Wait, Frank thought. How are you two agreeing on this? But then again I guess Percy really is a special case.

Frank decided to take Percy anyway. After all, how hard could it possible be to get to the airport in time?

Five minutes later, Frank and the rest had barely made it out of the place alive.

"This is bad," their pilot told them.

"Why?" Frank asked.

"The author just had to go and make a 24 reference at the beginning of this chapter, so when we take off it will conclude the chapter since we've run out of time."

And then the plane took off.

Now I want you to imagine the sound of a clock ticking in your head while you visualize the characters.