Chapter 14: The Citadel
As I flew over the bastion, I stared at my destination: a tall and wide coliseum with rows of seats wrapping around the arena. The coliseum was where the practical exams took place, depending on the day or night. In between exams, sorcerers would practice their magic in the arena. Every year the sorcerers would hold a competition in the coliseum to make a spectacle of their abilities in hopes of impressing others into one day considering them to serve on our councils. Sorcerers confused strength with arrogance. One could be strong without being conceited. I didn't feel the need to show off my magic to prove myself to other sorcerers, much to Orne's annoyance; I was confident and satisfied with my abilities. Even if I did display my abilities, I'd be criticized and undermined because hardly anyone liked me and were jealous that someone like me was one of two top youngster apprentices. Orne wanted me to compete to show everyone how great of a teacher he was so that the elders would take a note of it for when he became eligible to serve. I didn't appreciate how he wanted to exploit me in order to advance his cause, but out of all the older sorcerers, he treated me the nicest. Despite our frequent disagreements about differing views, I could tell he deeply cared for me more so than most teachers did for their apprentices.
I landed gracefully beside Casper, one of the few friendly acquaintances of mine. The kind apprentice was twenty years my junior and was also Lionel's current sorcerer apprentice. It drove me insane when the masters would pick someone who bullied me at the citadel, and then that apprentice would be polite to me and my family at the castle to receive a good report. There was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't say anything to my father-in-law because the bullying took place at the citadel, and the masters didn't care if my peers bullied me because they felt I deserved it by flouting sorcerer tradition.
I leaned over discreetly and whispered hello. There was a no talking rule in the coliseum. I didn't understand why, but I figured it was simply for the masters to be in control.
He responded by asking how I was and how my family fared. Casper had been in the citadel for the past few days for reasons I didn't know.
I replied but didn't mention what Meryl had done.
From seemingly out of nowhere, I heard an aged female voice bark, "Youngster Rhys, no talking in the coliseum."
Where was she? I surveyed the area to see who the voice belonged to. Everyone around me was an apprentice. Perhaps I was hearing things. I leaned over again and continued whispering to Casper, inquiring about his service to my father-in-law.
"Youngster Rhys!" another mistress shouted.
Mistress Theresa and Mistress Ambrosia landed in front of me, hands on hips, and glowered at me with angry eyes. Mistress Ambrosia was unusually tall for a sorceress, standing nearly as tall as me and was the most verbally abusive out of all the masters, and Mistress Theresa was unusually short and plump for our kind.
Where did they come from? I looked all over and did not see them a while ago. How could they see me while I couldn't see them?
"We saw you talking through the coliseum wall," Mistress Theresa replied to my thoughts. I loathed whenever they did that. Thoughts should be private, but the masters did not see it that way. They believed their position entitled them to control others in every aspect. "You know the rule."
Then Mistress Ambrosia narrowed her eyes mockingly. She hated me most because I sought to put an end to being the target of her volatile temper and her cruel remarks long ago through having a calm, peaceful discussion in private, but she turned it around and made herself into the victim—never mind how I endured her habitual abuse every single time I saw her. While telling the story to her best friend, Mistress Theresa, she exaggerated my part of the story and watered down what she did. Mistress Theresa of course favored Mistress Ambrosia over me and decided to treat me worse to avenge her friend's frail ego. The whole ordeal was tragic because out of all the masters, Mistress Theresa was the kindest to me (which wasn't saying much), even after I got married, until Mistress Ambrosia ruined everything with her twisted version of our confrontation. "Oh, I almost forgot. You're a human cavorter. I can't expect someone who frolics with simple creatures to grasp such a simple concept."
Calling a sorcerer a "human cavorter" was supposed to be an insult. I didn't find it offensive, but most sorcerers did. I was more offended by her indirectly calling me stupid.
"Get out," Mistress Ambrosia ordered, pointing to the side.
I had to literally bite my tongue or else I'd have many regrets. I glared at her for a brief moment and then drifted away.
Before I was out of earshot, she spat, "I will notify your teacher at once."
I growled to myself as I flew away from the coliseum. Fine, I thought. I decided to study and change clothes in my dormitory and wait until I heard the summons for the apprentice ceremony. Wearing white-colored shirts under our dark blue cloaks, we sang or chanted to the stars in Sorcerian, our archaic language, to absorb their powers, although, apprentices did not understand what they were chanting. Journeymen learned Sorcerian so they could read their more complex magic books and scrolls. Apprentice reading materials were written in the local human language. Some journeymen and all council members spoke Sorcerian fluently and used it in the council chamber or with other sorcerers who understood the language to show status. It was considered our secret, sophisticated language.
Sometimes I wished I were not drawn to the summons. It made me feel like a mindless sheep, mindlessly following a shepherd. I supposed complaining about something I could not change did me no favors. No being—human, sorcerer, or fairy—was without its drawbacks.
My mind went blank as my eyes were fixed on the ceremony chamber. If I were restrained, I would still fly in the direction of the chamber. The only way for a sorcerer to not be drawn would be to leave Bamarre's borders or to receive a dismissal from a teacher or master. However, asking for a dismissal was greatly frowned upon.
I regained my thoughts once I landed inside the chamber. I was pleased to see my two best sorcerer friends, Henry and Matilda, land beside me. Most of my sorcerer friends were younger than me except Henry, who was my only friend from the advanced youngster class. Admittedly, we had a friendly rivalry, as we were the top two students.
Since I didn't want to get kicked out of another event, I kept quiet but nodded to acknowledge them.
Grand Master William would be leading the hymns. Grand Masters were the Arch Master's right hand sorcerers and were the most domineering (second to the Arch Master). Our hymns were lengthy yet beautiful. The masters told us to sing with our best singing voices to please the deceased sorcerers. If we sounded horrible or made a mistake, we would be expelled for "dishonoring the dead." Luckily, I had never endured the shame of being expelled.
My friends and I had decent voices, though, Matilda sounded the best. With her aerial soprano voice, she could effortlessly sing all the high passages. She enjoyed singing in general, not just during the ceremonies, much to her teacher's and the masters' annoyance. Singing outside of ceremonies made her unique, because only way a sorcerer was allowed to stand out was with their magic. Henry and I didn't mind her singing while we visited with each other in the garden—we even stood watch while she sang so she wouldn't get caught. Someday I wanted Matilda to meet my eldest son. I had a feeling they would become fast friends, as they shared the same passion for singing.
Henry was a high tenor and I was a bass. Occasionally, we good-naturedly made fun of each other's contrasting voices. I called him "Mouse" and he called me "Bullfrog." He was just jealous of my ability to execute and project low notes that most of our other basses could not. I took pride in being able to sing the lowest out of all the apprentices.
After telling us what hymns we would be singing, Grand Master William sang his opening solo. As he sang, the stars above shone uncommonly bright. Once we joined in, we upturned our palms as we gazed at the stars. I had sung that particular hymn numerous times over the decades, which made my thoughts unintentionally wander to Meryl. What would become of Meryl's actions? Dragons disliked each other. Maybe Jafe would be happy that he had less competition for food. But dragons are also clannish. Perhaps he would never find out; dragons did avoid each other, as they disliked their own kind. But why did she have to go out and kill a dragon? I suddenly remembered that stupid squire goading her on—if only he had kept his mouth shut!
While I fretted over Meryl, I accidentally sang boldly during a measure of silence. Everyone heard. My flame stopped burning for a split second and I felt the heat of embarrassment throughout my entire body. How did I come in too early? Was I really that distracted?
Grand Master William waved his hands to end the hymn. He chewed his curled under tongue repetitively and angrily scratched the back of his head, making himself look like a monkey. It was his angry gesture we all knew too well but wouldn't dare laugh at no matter how tempting. "You idiot! Pull your head out of your rear and pay attention!" he roared at me. He chewed his tongue some more. "Youngster Rhys, leave!"
I knew protesting was useless. I did as he commanded.
As I was flying upward, Grand Master William added, "I will tell Teacher Orne what you did immediately."
I groaned louder than when I was kicked out of the coliseum. That was why I hated coming to the citadel; I was always scolded over the silliest things. I was surprised Orne hadn't requested to trade apprentices with another teacher. He was constantly lecturing me about my misconducts. It felt odd to have political power and to discipline my offspring at home and then be treated like an unwanted child at the citadel.
I went back to my dormitory to study more to kill time.
The advanced youngsters were scheduled to have a lecture in the same chamber at dawn. Lectures were boring, as the High Council seemed to favor the monotonous masters to lecture us. If they wanted us to learn faster and retain the information, they should get someone fun and exciting to teach. But I was probably the only one who thought so.
Once it was time, I flew back to the circular chamber and hovered beside Henry. Like the singing ceremony, I was too busy worrying about my family drama to listen or care about the lecture taught by Mistress Yvonne. I unknowingly allowed my eyes to wander around the chamber when I was supposed to make eye contact at all times to show respect.
She noticed. Mistress Yvonne snapped her fingers repetitively to get my attention. "My eyes are right here, Youngster Rhys," she said, pointing at her eyes. "And straighten your posture. You look like a lazy lump." Mistress Yvonne sped to me and snatched my boutonniere from my lapel. She curled her lip. "Why do you wear roses? It makes you look colorful and unique," she stated disgusted. Sorcerers hated the idea of uniqueness and vibrancy. Any sign of uniqueness was eliminated. My kind believed in conforming. "When my lecture is over, I will tell Teacher Orne about all this."
Clenching my teeth, I did as she said and tried listening to the rest of her lecture.
After Mistress Yvonne's lecture, we had to listen to Master Simon's lecture. And just like before, I didn't listen. I noticed the master kept staring at me while he was talking. Then he did what I dreaded: He asked me to answer his question. I had no clue what the subject matter was or what he asked, so I had no idea how to respond. I stammered stupidly.
Master Simon was deeply insulted by my distraction. He glared bitterly at me and crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm sorry my lecture isn't about your wife's bosom. Maybe then you'd pay attention," he ridiculed.
The other apprentices looked at me and laughed.
It wasn't funny! Stop laughing! And stop looking at me! I thought.
My cheeks were scorching. That was utterly uncalled for and degrading. I was relieved he wasn't my teacher, and I felt sorry for his former apprentice. I resisted the urge to fly away, but doing so would only make matters worse.
"I will have a word with Teacher Orne as soon as possible," said the master, resuming the lecture in his monotonous tone.
Oh, no. I'm in trouble now, I thought. Orne had a gift for using shaming tactics that could span for hours. I refused to do the same to my kids.
I sighed as I sank to the ground. That was not the first time I'd been ridiculed during a lecture, and they usually used something from my personal life to demean me if I answered incorrectly. Since the masters disliked me and my personal decisions, there was no one higher up I could complain to about getting harassed. As far as the masters were concerned, I brought disdain upon myself. The masters especially liked to use my lack of celibacy and chastity against me.
Sorcerers took pride in celibacy and chastity. All sorcerers were taught since birth that binding oneself to another hinders one's abilities because then they have to consider the partner's needs first. It would be a distraction from our studies. To my kind, marriage was a superfluous act for the other inferior humanoid species, not for us, the superior species.
Sexual relations of any kind were also taboo. Copulation, even with a spouse, was considered filthy because it exposed what should be private, to a partner, a potential obstacle in life, and one ran the risk of becoming emotionally attached. It was also considered pointless. Even though we had reproductive organs, sorcerers could not procreate with each other, and never considered it, as we were not sexually attracted to our own kind. We could only have hybrid offspring with dwarfs, humans, and elves, however, mating with another species was considered repulsive, because anything not a sorcerer was comparable to a pig or a horse. After all, we were born from fire and stone, not from a union of two mortals. While we may have been born with said organs, we were discouraged from using them, which was not difficult considering how our urges were not as strong as the other reproductive species. However, I was different because I had a lover to share intimacy with, but I guaranteed if other sorcerers knew what they were missing, they would change their minds.
If there was one thing worse than marriage and intimacy, it was having offspring. At least a spouse was not solely dependent on someone else. Children were major distractions. According to the masters, all sorcerers in the past who bore offspring were incompetent because they were distracted. The High Council was ashamed of me for having children. Unlike Orne, who understood why I had R.J. and Meryl, they were furious and lectured me on how I would forever be behind. They were surprised when I proved them wrong by being one of two top students.
Needless to say, they saw me as a tainted scoundrel. I was looked upon with disdain from my superiors and most of my peers. In their eyes, I was a foolish baby having babies. No respect. I often wanted to quit my apprenticeship, due to the level of disrespect I received from the masters so I could live like a human with my family. But if I quit, then I would feel like I had wasted my whole life. I hated the idea of giving up something I'd labored over for years. And there would be no turning back. Once a sorcerer quit or was banished, there was no returning.
It was frustrating how the humans respected me as their prince while my own kind treated me like a child or a plague. I still had humans treat me like an outsider, but I had a lot more respect from the humans as a whole than the sorcerers. It didn't matter to the sorcerers that I was Prince Rhys of Bamarre and a father of six—the father of Bamarre's future king. It probably didn't occur (or matter) to them that our future apprentices would be serving my son someday. The adults and elders just saw me as a misguided youngster, not an individual with political power in human society. Inside our citadel, human society meant nothing.
That was what I couldn't stand about the elders. They were narcissistic and thought they knew everything and anyone younger was foolish. Again, in the human society, I was considered wise because of my age, which was old to their standards. Before I had children, the condescending remarks were tolerable because I saw myself as an adolescent, but now that I was a father and political leader, the remarks were vexing. If only I knew a spell that could make their lips adhere together or one that could mute their voices.
When our series of long lectures were over, the other sorcerers flew out of the chamber and went their separate ways. Henry and I decided to change clothes in our dormitories and agreed to meet in the fountain garden. We were taught since birth not to wear our ceremonial garbs outside of ceremonies and lectures.
I was first to make it to the fountain garden. Since sorcerers were natural flyers, we didn't have roads or paths. Most of our city in between buildings was grassy, and we had several gardens filled with winding grapevines on pillars, cypress trees, chaste trees, aconites, irises, lilies—just about any plant imaginable. Waiting for Henry, I sat on the fountain's stone rim and glanced at the marble statue of some sorcerer hero I forgot the name of, and then gazed at the crystal clear moving water, worrying about the consequences of Meryl's actions. Using my baton, I made a ball of water hover at chest-level. I concentrated as hard as I could to shape the ball into the image of my daughter. Water was much harder to shape than clouds. It required a greater amount of…
"Hello, Rhys," said Matilda.
My spell dissipated back into the fountain water. I looked over my shoulder at Matilda and Henry. I was glad to see them again.
Henry sat down, frowning sympathetically. He placed a comforting hand on my back. "I'm sorry you had to endure that abuse from Master Simon. The masters need to stop doing that. What good does it do to harass you about your marriage decision now? It's been, what… sixteen years? They need to let it go," he said.
I shook my head. "I didn't realize they would give me a hard time this many years after the fact. I thought I'd be ostracized for a few months and then no one would care anymore. If I knew they were going to be like this for the rest of my life, I would—"
"You don't mean that right now," Matilda interrupted. "You're just angry. I know how much you love your family more than anything else, even more than your sorcery." She sat down on my other side. "Speaking of which, how is your family?"
I wasn't going to regret marrying, I was going to... Oh, never mind. It didn't matter anymore. I told them the good news only. I wasn't ready to tell anyone outside my family about what Meryl did. I didn't want to be the one to tell him about Meryl's shameful act.
"Rhys," said the familiar male voice I knew well. Orne. He flew over the fountain and landed in front of me. "Leave us," he ordered to my friends.
My friends got up and left.
He waited until they were out of earshot. At least he had the decency to do that. Orne scowled at me as he raised a hand to count my misconducts. "Mistress Theresa and Mistress Ambrosia both said you were talking in the coliseum," he began listing with his fingers. "Grand Master William said you sang horribly—"
"I didn't sing horribly; I accidentally sang too early," I corrected in vain.
"Rhys, don't interrupt me while I'm talking." He resumed listing with his fingers. "And Mistress Yvonne and Master Simon told me you weren't listening to their lectures." He put his hand down and looked at me with disbelief. "Why did you do that, Rhys? Why do you cause so much trouble?" he asked exasperated. "You act as if I've taught you nothing. Don't you understand that your transgressions are a reflection on me? You make me look bad." Orne paused and glanced at my wedding charm. As soon as he did that, I knew what he was going to say next. Sorcerers were very predictable. "It's all because you bound yourself to that human."
How was it Addie's fault? I asked him to explain, but then I quickly regretted it, remembering how he could talk for hours about the follies of marriage.
After he said she was a bad influence on me, I tuned him out and thought of Meryl again. A lecture after a lecture. Just what I needed. Once he was done, I got up and hovered in place.
"I don't understand why you weren't listening to the lecture," he said.
"I didn't mean to—"
Orne held up a hand to cut me off. "Silence," he commanded, "your teacher speaks." Orne dropped his hand and resumed. "I want to know why you weren't listening."
What other reason was there? Why did I have to voice the obvious? Though, I didn't want to tell him the real reason. "Because I was bored," I said simply. It was true, it just wasn't the full truth.
Orne put his fists on his hips, looking at me disapprovingly. "Rhys, you're not forty," he huffed. "You're too old to be zoning out during lectures." Then he stared at me for a long time. He suspected something more. "Do you want to tell me the real reason before I use a spell to read your mind?"
No! Anything but that! I hated when he did that. "My daughter, Meryl, misbehaved," I answered in a rush.
He observed me quizzically. Did he already cast the spell? Orne could cast certain spells without lifting a finger, which was another skill I couldn't wait to learn. "That is what's troubling you?" he asked dully. "I was expecting it to be something major, like struggling with a spell, not some silly human problem."
Good, he thought it was that simple. I'd let him think that. Frowning, I nodded.
Orne sighed. "Rhys, how many times have I told you? Stop letting small things bother you. Besides, they're trivial human matters that will pass over shortly." He put his hand on my shoulder. "If you're going to worry, it should be about your studies, not your family," he said with a softer tone.
Not my family. That was easy for him to say. He didn't know the pressures of being a husband and father, but I wasn't going to argue; that would prompt another lecture on respect.
"Your midterm exam will be here before you know it." My teacher's expression darkened. "You better not make me look bad in front of the masters," he warned.
It's always about oneself to my egotistical kind. Everything was done for personal gain without any regard for others. Sadly, I was destined to live among them for the remainder of my life, and I dreaded it.
For a second I thought my spark had died as I saw a flaming dragon in the distance, swooping down over the city, coming my way!