Disclaimer: Haikyuu! belongs entirely to Haruichi Furudate, I only own the OC character, nothing else.

This fic follows the manga, so if you do not want spoilers past the anime episodes, read with caution!

Chapter 14: Dormant: Rebirth

"What is happening to me happens to all fruits that grow ripe. It is the honey in my veins that makes my blood thicker, and my soul quieter."

- Friedrich Nietzsche

5:05 am

Morning Practice

Apollonia clicked the base of her phone, the digital clock displayed reading a little after five, bold and grey against her, what she now viewed as far too bright for five 'o'clock in the morning, off-white background. She willed herself to take the exhaustive step forwards, turn the key and open the club doors with the spare set Daichi had stowed away less he forget them himself. She pressed her forehead against the door as she sluggishly made to slide it open, eyes closed and feet dragging acting as if the extra force from her semi-conscious face would prove productive.

She flicked the lights on, and took a sip of coffee that she had dangling weakly in her grip—a light roast imported from Finland that she bought monthly off an online distributor—before setting it down in favor of unlocking the storage door, sticking the folded net under her arm in its place. One by one she carried the poles out, setting them gently in place, attaching the net at the accustomed height just under two hundred and forty-four centimeters. It was not a daunting task for her to take on her own, as she often set up her own net and poles back in Finland, both indoors and outdoors, often earning surprised reactions from onlookers: both for her independence as well towards the fact that even when she was just a young girl, she kept the net at the height of professional men's volleyball, rather than practice at what was appropriate for her age and biological gender.

Though, Apollonia was not one to abide by what was, 'appropriate' for her age anyways.

Standing back, she looked upon the empty court with a critical eye, though regrettably, she found her mood somewhat soured that the glazed paneling and stark empty walls lacked the warmth of daylight. It was quiet, but not peacefully so.

She wiped once then twice over the court, the sound of her shuffling feet leading the mop from left to right barely legible within the four enclosed walls. After the floor had been cleaned to her liking, she picked up a single ball from the cart, turning it idly in her grip as she studied the curved lines of forest green, of flushing red, of bleached white, all side by side, yet somehow independent from one another. Tracing her fingers over every hue with a careful touch, she placed its surface against her forehead, the bridge of her nose meeting its underbelly as she lifted her face slightly towards the ceiling.

Above her were rafters, straight and precise, so that the sky was shut away from her view, and artificial light was replaced for their convenience. She could not see, only vaguely recall the stars that were slowly fading with each passing hour, or the birds, winds or rain that would cross overhead as she still resided on the ground.

Visually, she did not show to be the most passionate of people, but as Apollonia removed the ball from her view, staring up at the droning gymnasium lights, and the alder color of the ceiling beyond, she felt her perpetually chilly skin grow warm, paired with a slight jump in her steady heartbeat. Though the air was still dark and the dew still frozen, the bumps that rose on her arms mimicked the same sensation she felt during the stark change from winter to spring, when everything seemed to change around her. It was the sudden transition towards colors that felt better saturated, bloated with life and energy, when everything felt comfortably hot as if sunlight itself had arms that could embrace, and everything around her had gained a newfound clarity, and newfound vitality as they rejoiced the return of the gracious spring star.

Apollonia was not a firm believer in clairvoyance, she felt herself far too logical to believe something so spiritual or farfetched in nature. She could not rationally explain it, but she felt electricity pulsing through her blood, stimulating her nerve endings. It left her body feeling light and filled with such effervescent colors, without any blemishes of pain to hold her back. She could almost see the light returning from its long await slumber from galaxies beyond.

Her skin was almost pink with life, as if it were no longer frozen, no longer a winter statue. She looked down at her long, calloused fingers, at the jersey that just barely covered her forearm, the bandage that hid the feather just beneath her skin. She held the ball out in front of her with her right hand, then took in a long, languid breath in.

"Oh, Apollonia-chan, you're here early."

And she exhaled.

She turned to see Sugawara shuffle into the gym, glancing around with a look of surprise taking place of his previously drowsy expression. Daichi was not too far behind, raising his brow once he registered that Apollonia must have arrived about an hour earlier than them to set up the gym for practice.

"Apollonia-san, did you do this all by yourself?"

Apollonia offered him a small nod, setting the ball back in the cart.

"Were you thinking about sneaking in a few serves before we arrived," Sugawara hummed as he tied on his athletic shoes.

As blunt as ever, Apollonia glanced at him from her peripheral before answering with a simple, unadorned, "Yes."

She waited a beat, taking in Daichi and Sugawara's amused expressions before adding, "I didn't anticipate you two coming in at this time."

"We're a little less strict, Apollonia-chan," Sugawara teased, pulling the hems of his socks up to his ankles, "We don't stick to schedules quite like you do."

"Also, we had a feeling that you might be here early," Daichi added shrugging off his coat onto the bench. "Looks like we were right."

Apollonia's face remained somewhat unfazed by their jesting, the visible clench in her jaw and the casted shadow that hung over her nose and under her eyes being the only indicator of her irritation. She stood in the middle of the court, obviously unsure of what she was supposed to do now that Daichi and Sugawara had intruded on to her private practice with the intention of gaining something from her, though she was unsure of what exactly.

Reading her thoughts as if they were posted openly on her forehead, Sugawara piped up, standing slightly in front of the bench at the edge of the baseline.

"You've been wanting to play for a while, haven't you?"

Apollonia lifted her chin, intrigued that Sugawara was quite being quite daring asking her such a blatant question, even though it was a simple one, one that had a simple answer. In response, she shrugged and turned slightly away less her true answer be registered on her face, her left hand immediately snapping up to clutch her arm. Despite the fact that Sugawara and Daichi could tell she was being dishonest, and doing a poor job at hiding it, they played along with her indifference.

"Well, if you're not restless, then you must have the intention on bringing back Asahi."

Daichi's voice was diplomatic, so typically, 'Captain' to hear; far from the naivety or hopefulness that was expected of the youth their age. He was completely sure of himself, without directly forcing her to act on his words in any manner. It wasn't a question or proposition that he was offering her. It was a statement.

"So, how do you plan on bringing him back?"

She snapped her eyes shut, willing her own sanity back into her mind, she tilted her head towards Daichi, sucking in her mouth and cocking an eyebrow as if to say, 'Me?'

Admittedly, for a moment, she felt as if she did have a plan to persuade Asahi to rejoin the team. But, from the beginning during the days after his departure, she had no intention to place herself in front of Asahi, for she had no empathy in her voice fit for speaking. And admittedly, she was humbled when she saw that her presence seemed to have little effect, for they still collided so hard with the ground, failing effortlessly even after they praised her for all the extra help she offered them.

'As if any of my efforts did any good.'

She felt useless, like no matter how much she tried, she couldn't even lift them off the ground, not even a hair's breadth.

"It is not my place to interfere," she said just as evenly as she had done over two months ago.

It was the same string of words she had uttered once before, hesitantly, and strained, but now, it just felt like an outright lie to hear from her own mouth. It still probably was not her place to interfere, but she felt the urge to make it her place. She just wanted to try. Try something, anything.

Daichi and Sugawara did not respond to her statement, leaning in slightly with their chins in anticipation of the words that were slowly making their way up from her stomach. She looked at both before turning back to the court, towards the upper left corner of the vanguard, where his throne still sat empty, longing.

"He'll return," she stated tonelessly. "I just have a feeling that he will."

"Fear cuts deeper than swords."

- A Game of Thrones, George R.R. Martin

"I think it's going to rain!"

Apollonia glanced at the girls with their faces pressed against the glass as they watched the clouds rolling in, taking on a hard grey, something foreboding and uninviting, stitched with flashes of electric white just below the surface. She was admittedly puzzled: storms had not been on the forecast according to the phone's weather application, but perhaps the weather of Japan was turbulent in its own right—though of course, the weather was nothing compared to the people.

Many girls rushed around her—as if they did not see her large, skyscraping frame trying to stay to the right of the hallway—and scrambled for whomever had an umbrella, rather than just face the risk of getting rained on and dry their uniform once they returned home. She raised an eyebrow at their desperate claws and grabs towards their friends and classmates, looking again past the glass as the clouds approached.

They did not loom, nor did they drape darkness over the school, rather her skin had just taken on a light chromatic grey, looking about as healthy as a stone thrown in shallow water, but nothing worth making a fuss over. But she felt a threaded breeze—not cool enough to make her shiver—but enough to drop her body's temperature by a half-degree.

Her legs were still stiff, but were losing their mechanical creak, as if oil and wax were soaking her joints the longer her strides became. Her chest had slowly risen, the breath in her belly growing in confidence, her shoulders squared and ready to face that gentle expression: one that was sure to be timid, slightly down casted so he would not have to look at her in the eye.

But when she came upon his class, she was met with the back of Sugawara waving off Hinata and Kageyama, his hand going limp at his side once the two first years were out of sight. She could hear him utter a small sigh before he turned around, flinching as he looked up to find Apollonia looking down at him over her upturned nose.

"How is it someone like you can be so sneaky," he exclaimed, visually startled.

Apollonia blinked softly, her jaw still forwards, shoulders still high. To anyone walking by, she looked to be sizing Sugawara up, scrutinizing him, but her intentions—albeit contorted in logic—was to stand tall and solidly, in hopes that he would imitate her, and not hold his shoulders in such an undignified manner.

But Sugawara only shrunk back even further. He held his head down, offering himself in a semi-low bow to the Finn, gaining and understandably puzzled expression from her once he straightened back up. He exhaled sharply, as if he had shorn any inhibition from the words he had been holding back.

"I know you said it wasn't your place, but…"

He bit his lip, struggling not to apologize for asking such a request from her, at the same time struggling no to back out of searching her for help to bring back their Ace. Seeing that he had grown humbled by his own request, unable to finish it himself, Apollonia took the liberty to speak, though her voice was somewhat hoarse, the words feeling dry as they came up.

"I wish to speak with Asahi."

Sugawara's head snapped up. "Huh, come again?"

Apollonia's jaw clenched, though she tried to hide her curt reaction while still making it known to Sugawara that she did not intend to repeat herself. He looked at her with eyes slightly wide and mouth slightly parted, though was hesitant to speak, unsure if she would take the initiative to do so herself.

'I want to try,' was what she seemed to ask from him.

Though she did not make a sound, he felt obliged to remain quiet, as not to interrupt her, only breaking his silence in favor of a small grin. She closed her eyes, and left the setter with one request before she took one long stride forwards.

"Please inform Daichi that I will be a little late."

He had a rather difficult time staying focused during the meeting with his counselor, the words of the first years still resonating with him.

'I want to become an Ace.'

It was astounding that a boy of his stature wanted to bear that burden, a burden that even his wide shoulders could not bear.

'So, I want to see the real thing in action!'

He almost had the compulsion to laugh. Ace… Right, that's what he once was. He once was regarded for his ability to deliver strikes that could not be touched, until he came face to face with a barrier that complete severed him from the skyline he commanded, and all the land underneath. He was rendered breathless, the life being sucked out of him by his opponents, these predators. Every second lasted days, every minute years as he met them eye to unwavering eye, until he could no longer look at them, or even beyond them. He could only look at the cracked ground under his feet, the only surface that felt safe to him. He had lost his voice, the will, the power, the drive to call for another, a simple, 'One More!'

He couldn't. He just couldn't. Why should he, when his shoulders were stained with failure, threatening to poison any toss meant for him? He was ashamed with himself, disgusted that even when every one of his shots was smashed directly back at them, they still looked for him, through the fog, through the branches even as they plummeted out of the sky. And he let them down. Every single one of them.

"Asahi."

He jolted to attention, more than startled after seeing Sugawara and the two new first years to suddenly find Apollonia standing along the wall outside of the counselor's office.

"O-oh… Hello," he greeted in response, dipping his head in her direction, a bit taken back when she returned with a low bow too formal for a simple reunion of old club-mates.

She tilted her head to the side, a sign of beckoning as she made her way down the hall. Asahi obliged and fell at her side, his hands casually in his pockets as he walked side by side, in tandem with her.

She seemed to have grown a little bit taller, he reluctantly had to note, surpassing even his height, the height of their once, 'Trustworthy Ace,' if he could even find the courage to call himself that. She was still the ever poised, soundlessly statuesque swan the team of his past knew her to be: chest straight, chin and neck held high, her face void of any outer emotions that could be perceived as vulgar or rude. She had a firm, 'stickler-for-manners,' appearance to her—and she often was, being overly well behaved and excessively courteous—yet she was surprisingly tolerant of the antics regularly imparted by Tanaka and Nishinoya.

It was almost refreshing to see that she had not changed all that much during his absence. Maybe the team was getting along fine without him. Maybe they had found a new, 'Ace.'

She glanced at him from the side, seeing that his chin was tucked slightly towards his chest, his eyes darting up every so often to assure that his path was clear, his shoulders dragged down as he walked with his hands in his pockets. "You're shaken by a wall," she began, startling Asahi by the immediate sound of her voice, and the fact that she somehow was able to tune into his inner monologue, and bluntly air it out in the open for both of them to discuss whether he agreed to it or not. "But, no matter how high the wall scales, there will always be a way to see the horizon on the other side," she finished calmly.

The first time he had seen her in nearly two months, and she was still as poetically forthright as could be.

'Classic Apollonia,' he had mentally mused.

Though it honestly was a little unsettling that she had come on to him without warning, waiting for him to finish with his counselor, and then nearly attacked him with her passive—albeit still undeniably intimidating—presence. She usually spoke without pleasantries and would bypass straight for the point of their conversation—a trait that Sugawara assured was due to her heritage, and not by any means intended to offend and or terrorize him.

"Apollonia-san," Asahi began hesitantly, glancing up at the Finn. He looked to be making an attempt to be bold as she had been, though his approach was far more careful and cautious than hers. "You've never been blocked, right?"

Apollonia's eyebrow peaked, somewhat intrigued that their slumbering, 'Ace,' was somehow able to avoid direct confrontation with her, yet he still was able to bring forth her lack of empathy into their current discussion without explicitly laying it out in front of her.

"I've only really played since last year, so against all the matches I've played against all of you, no. I've never been blocked."

"It's a scary feeling," Asahi admitted weakly. "You're lucky."

"What makes you say that," she inquired with slight frown.

"Because, you didn't have to experience something like that out there. It can really paralyze you."

Apollonia did not speak, instead just lifting her chin up and out at the Former Ace, probing him for perhaps a better elaboration.

"You've never really looked like you've ever been afraid of anything anyway. Maybe Sugawara's right. Maybe, it's a Finnish thing," Asahi chuckled quietly.

Apollonia ran her bandaged arm through her hair, resting her palm on the curve of her skull. She had come to Japan, completely alone, without an existing relative who lived in the area to show her around, without even fluent knowledge of their culture. She was among people who looked drastically different from herself, who spoke a language that was more than just foreign to her, and met people and who looked up at her as if she were an extraterrestrial being dropped out of the sky.

She was not a foreign exchange student, she was an international student: had she been a true transfer, she would have been given the luxury of living in someone's home, having them graciously pay for food and whatever luxuries they wished to provide her with. Instead, she was obligated to go through obscure money transfer systems to, 'turn,' her euros into yen whenever the rent was due for her apartment complex. As well, rather than being housed with a family that would show her around and inform her of Japanese culture, she was a shut-in living in an adequately sized apartment with a somewhat prejudice manager and questionable neighbors.

Her sense of control had shifted once Kalajoki's taupe beaches had been whipped out from under her, her legs dangling as she transcended the boundaries around the little country of Finland, towards the broad back of America, then again as she settled along the humble city of Miyagi. Her sense of, 'control,' that she valued so much had turned more into a privilege, if not an unreachable delusion. Within the course of a couple months, she had gone from successful Sports Medicine Doctor in Finland, to the babysitter of a bunch of fallen crows—by her own will, that is—and even took the broad step of permanence by signing herself away to a college in Miyagi.

Finland had essentially been barricaded from her entry, that path no longer a viable route for her future. The only scenery she had been left with—the only thing that she now, was essentially forced to call, 'home'—was Japan.

Japan, where the skies boasted a slightly different color, where the water was a little warmer, and where her rights were drastically diminished due to her race and biological gender. The Japanese ate differently, they behaved differently, and God forbid she tried to understand their fashion sense. Even their vending machines were jarring: she was perplexed to see that there were machines for peculiar things like school supplies—she as well heard a vicious rumor, or what she desperately hoped was a rumor—that there were machines that dispensed racy undergarments. Everything about the country was just so unsettling at first glance.

She was going to a new school with people who were half her weight and height, who were born and raised on their peculiar language, who knew the underlying puns and euphemisms that decorated their convoluted vocabulary, while she was left ignorant in their shadows. She was going to a school that wore uniforms, and actually had exams and vocabulary tests—something completely unheard of at her native school. How on Earth would she relate to them, how would she connect with them when she did not partake in any of their rituals, or indulge in any of their cultural phenomena?

Of course she had been afraid, of course she was still afraid. Her control was essentially taken right out of her hands the moment she set foot in their country, because it was as stated: theirs. This wasn't her Kalajoki, or her home in Finland, or her old school and her old schoolmates. She was a speck of dust on their coat; she was under their jurisdiction. She was no longer the free swan she was back in her homeland, she had been effectively grounded—so to speak—by the almond eyes and foreign-colored faces around her.

She was scared to her wit's end, but if being born and raised in a country that was known for it's frightfully cold climate, passionately passionless demeanor, and heraldry of waterfowl had any impact on her, it was delve deep into her inner strength at the pit of her belly, and seek something new.

They were all merely faces, just little seeds buried underground: all of their coats were hard and waxy, waiting to spring forth and bare their individual colors to the world above, but still firmly rooted beneath the surface. They were connected. They were all connected, despite their different petals, the different plumage of their wings.

Apollonia removed her hand from her neck, placing it back at her side atop her school bag, fingers tracing the zipper.

"Of course I've been afraid, " she returned, gaining a slightly off-guard reaction from Asahi. "I was terrified to come here. But, I became even more terrified at the thought of leaving. I don't know how your humor works here in Japan, but perhaps you'll find it funny that I am more comfortable in a country that I am a stranger to than I was in my own homeland."

Asahi habitually grinned, sucking it back down when Apollonia's face had remained unchanged. His stride had slowed, almost to a stop, forcing her to turn her should fully towards him, almost blocking his path.

"These first years together will lift you, they are more than willing to help you. We all are."

Looking directly at her, Asahi almost had forgotten just how frightening it was to look Apollonia directly in the eye.

They stood still in the hallway, the puttering of what few students still inhabited school far off from their location, the clouds now sparsely distributed among the skies.

"You're brave, Apollonia-san, but I don't think I could come back. I was completely overpowered out there, I wasn't strong enough," he sighed quietly, rubbing the nape of his neck.

Apollonia—to his surprise—made absolutely no outward reaction: no quirked eyebrows, no furrowed brow, or even downturned twitch of her lip. She had taken complete control over her expression, offering him nothing but a passive stare.

"You were not overpowered, you were given a chance to grow."

She reached into her bag, lifting out the object of her searching once she felt the small stem under her fingers. With a slight swivel of her wrist, she held it out to him.

Asahi accepted her offer hesitantly, somewhat unsure if it would be a faux pas to actually eat it, much less hold it in his grasp. He looked from his hands back towards Apollonia's retreating back, her stride slow in nature, as it always had, and perhaps always would be. It was a stride that suffered, and persisted, and never seemed to change in tempo.

Her voice was almost lost when she spoke, forcing Asahi to straighten up, clutching the fruit tightly in his hand as she turned to corner of the hallway, out of sight.

"We've both been lying dormant for quite some time, Asahi."

A thread of sun peeked through the clouds, illuminating the skin of the apple that felt so alive in his hands, boasting a red so vibrant it nearly glowed against his skin, with gold accents that looked as if they had been skillfully applied with a sable paintbrush.

"It's time that we all brave our trials together."

Author's Note:

Thank you for all those who have reviewed, favorites and followed! You guys are my heroes, and the best, and you all inspire me to keep on writing! So thank you thank you!