14

The Upper Ring

Since my father passed I haven't dreamed. No mysterious warnings, no visits from ghosts, no fire. I'm torn between relief that it's over, and dread that the inevitable has just begun.

Codo and Dane helped me move; not that I had a lot of belongings, but even managing a few things is a task when you only have one functional arm, and Lee wouldn't be coming until the day after with Mushi.

The difference was noticeable from the moment we passed into Upper Ring, the dust and ramshackle houses I'd grown so used to seeing were gone, replaced by pristine fortresses. Codo and Dane couldn't even technically be here without invitation from me. They declined staying the night, it wasn't as though my estate had any shortage of rooms, I could tell they just weren't comfortable. I don't blame them, I don't even feel comfortable. So it was they took their leave just after ensuring I was settled in.

I'm trying to feel excited but right now I just feel alone. This sprawling estate is meant for a family, not the orphan Ogawa daughter. I felt panicked the moment I saw it, taking in its yellow tiled roof and wide windows, feeling as though I was about to be put on display for all of Ba Sing Se's affluent society.

Mia had explained that this property had been in my family for ages, originally built for the first of my ancestors to hold the title of General. Each General had preferred spending the majority of their time on our private estate in the country, my home, currently in ruins from my bloodthirsty uncle. And so the second Ogawa estate had remained empty for the majority of its life.

Mia and Kanto had chosen to live in the Middle Ring; my father had established them before he passed, insisting on the Upper Ring for them as well but caving when Mia explained her reluctance. She wasn't an Ogawa, and her son wasn't his heir. I was, despite Kanto being older, and he'd shown no animosity about that fact. We'd all parted on good terms, despite mine and Mia's tense relationship, with me promising to send written invitation as soon as I had settled in.

Settling in, I have a feeling that might take a bit of time. I roll over for what has to be the millionth time tonight. Over and over, trying to will my new bed to be comfortable. It's too soft, too fancy, I'm used to my little bed in Cami's room, not this plush and silky thing meant for the man and woman of the house. I took the master bedroom, figuring that if I'm to be living here why not make the best of it, I am technically the woman of the house.

The majority of my clothes were already here, having been sent ahead when my father initially sent me away, expecting me to follow my belongings. I had found them just inside the front door, still in their traveling cases. Dane and Codo had moved them all into my chosen quarters, both looking a little stunned to witness the life I'd been born into first hand. I tried very hard not to feel guilty, but not that I'm alone again I can't help it. It's keeping me awake.

I've already decided to keep sending Hela money, with Nori gone and the baby coming any time now, it's the least I can do. They'll all be receiving invitations to visit too, and they can stay as long as they'd like. I'd even offered for them all to come live with me, something Hela had declined with a gentle smile.

Nori was coming back, she explained, and this was their life. I am still feeling the drive to protect them all that had rushed over me after her refusal. Is this what it is like to be a mother? Not that they're my kids… At least I will have Lee to look after.

In the dark, I can barely make out a small, thin object laying on my bedside drawers. The dagger, my dagger. I've kept it on me ever since Lee returned it. I don't think I will ever go another without it on my person. Lee giving it to me meant the world. He is finally happy, looking forward to the future. I remember then, his fight with the wild young man in the Tea House and how he saved me from the fire. We've been through a lot in a short time.

I smile onto my pillow, his handsome yet scarred face flashing across my mind. In the image he's smiling at me, as I imagine the same joy that came from their fresh start. Mushi had told me later that his nephew was letting go of his past, and that he was excited I had heeded his words and not given up on him, no matter how stubborn he was. Now we had a chance to build a life together. With that hopeful thought, I drift into a dreamless sleep.

"Specially delivery for one Miss Ogawa!" A voice calls the next afternoon, deep and muffled from behind my front door. Frowning slightly I unlock it, I haven't ordered anything.

As the door swings inward, Lee pushes through, gathering me into his arms and kissing me so fast that I don't even have time to blink. After a heavenly moment, he pulls back, a mischievous smile coming over his face, arms still wrapped around me. "I need to have a chat with the guy who's sending you such scandalous deliveries, he's moving on my girl."

"Yes I wonder who my secret admirer might be," I tease, reaching up to kiss him again. Suddenly my big empty house doesn't feel so empty.

He looks past me for the first time, his eyes widening. "So this is the Ogawa estate?"

"One of them," I sigh, resting my head on his chest. "It feels a lot more like home now that you're here."

"So do I get the official tour?" I can hear a smile in his voice as he adds, "Which room is mine?"

I chuckle, taking him by the hand and leading him through the house. I can't help but feel as though he's a whole new person, having let go of his past, excited for his future, our future. It's a side of him I haven't had the opportunity to see much of, the smiling and joking, no brooding. He nods approvingly as we tour a sitting area and a dining area, a kitchen, bedrooms, the yard and garden. The garden is most reminiscent of home, lush green trees and brightly coloured flowers. Finally I stop outside the master bedroom, feeling the sudden urge to laugh.

"What is it?" He asks, his amber eyes trained on my face. "Is this the Ogawa family dungeon?"

"This is my room," I tell him, quickly opening the door. I'm not really sure why I hesitated.

He lets out a low whistle, stepping through the wide doorway. The sun is streaming in through the windows that cover the far wall, lighting up the white blankets and pillows, and the golden decorations on the white walls. There is a river made out of twisted gold, and a large tree, both glowing in the sunlight. Lee crosses over to my neatly made bed, collapsing down on top of it. "Ohh. Tell Mushi I'll be laying here for the rest of my life, this bed is too comfy to leave."

I remain leaning against the doorframe, smiling at him. "Should I take your shift?"

"We're not officially open yet," he pops his head up to look at me. "I have time."

I'm not sure why I haven't moved, I guess I'm nervous. We've entered a whole new dynamic here, my own place, no adult supervision really… I swallow, feeling my cheeks growing warm. "I want to see the Tea House," I say hurriedly, turning back the way we came, hearing a loud groan from my bed in protest.

His enthusiasm grows as we walk arm in arm towards the Tea House, his indignation at having to leave my bed melting away. I know that both of us are a little underdressed for the Upper Ring but I don't care. I've grown so used to dressing for comfort and not to impress. In all honesty I'd prefer to leave my fancy robes in my closet for as long as possible.

I feel almost invisible, no one giving us a second glance, until a guard appears in front of us, his eyes narrowing. "What are you two doing up here?" He asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

Wordlessly I hand him the passport I had been keeping in my pocket since my arrival yesterday, fuming. It brings me some satisfaction to watch as his face turns red as he reads it over.

"My apologies, Miss Ogawa, I didn't know." He swallows hard, quickly returning my passport and stepping out of our way. He's having difficulty keeping his gaze from my eyes, no doubt the gold and green is foreign to him.

"That's alright," I sigh, pocketing the document, suddenly frustrated with myself. Being angry like that isn't like me, it was an honest mistake. Resulting from an assumption based on our clothes, I think, shaking my head.

Lee waits until we are a few paces away before giving my arm a squeeze. "You ok?"

I nod, "Sorry, I don't know what came over me."

"Come on, Miss Ogawa," he smiles then, "Let's go see the Tea House."

It's huge, much more impressive than the Pao Family Tea House. The walls are green and the roof yellow, in typical Upper Ring fashion, but what jumps out at me is the fountain outside, splashing clear blue water into a small pool. There are tables set up on both sides of the room, split by a long jade green rug with golden dragons on it.

Mushi is straightening chairs when we enter, smiling up at us. "So, Ayumi, what do you think?"

"It's beautiful!" I tell him, moving in for a hug. I step back then, turning to survey the room one more time. I notice a sign right above the doorway, a framed piece of calligraphy that says, "It is better to go for three days without food than one day without tea." I smile, immediately able to envision Mushi saying the words. "I'm so happy for you two."

"Thank you, my girl," He tells me, a look of pride on his face. "Now, can I interest you in a cup of jasmine tea?"

I nod eagerly and he disappears behind a set of green drapes, leaving Lee and I alone. "It's perfect," I tell him, slipping my good arm around his waist.

"It's ours," he agrees, looping his arm around my shoulders in response. "Mushi is finally getting the recognition he deserves for his tea."

As if on cue, Mushi returns, a tray with a small pot and three steaming cups of tea in hand. "Here, let us sit."

"To the Jasmine Dragon," I smile, holding up my cup. They echo my toast, gently clinking their cups against mine.

"To Ayumi Ogawa for helping my nephew find peace, and happiness," Mushi says with a smile, looking proudly between us. Lee smiles, looking a little embarrassed, but he toasts us all the same. Mushi grins then, "So, when is the wedding?"

I burst out laughing, while Lee's face instantly turns red. "You'll be the first to know," I promise him, not embarrassed in the slightest. I know that he's joking. I also know that he probably wouldn't be opposed to the idea, in a few years time.

"Anyways," Lee says quickly, looking to change the subject. "Are we ready for tomorrow, Uncle?"

I smile as Mushi explains the plan for the morning, content to sit quietly and listen to them talk. It's a perfect moment, and I pause to ingrain it in my memory, the three of us sitting in the empty Tea House, before any customers arrive, enjoying each other's company. I don't know what the future will hold, but here and now I don't care. I'm at peace.

"I don't like leaving you all alone here," Lee tells me, leaning back against my doorframe. He frowns past me into the empty estate. He had walked me home, the sun having already completed its descent below the horizon, the dark of night stretching out behind him. We had eaten supper at the Jasmine Dragon with Mushi, and spent the evening visiting over more cups of tea. We eventually decided on a walk around the Upper Ring, ending with him dropping me off at home, lingering. He had already kissed me goodnight. ...more than a few times.

"Then don't," I say gently, chewing nervously on my lip, which is already a little swollen. I can't help but feel flustered, and not just from all the kissing. All I know is I don't want him to leave. "Stay with me."

He stares at me for a moment, his eyes searching my face. After a pause, perhaps deciding that I'm being serious, he steps inside, closing the door behind him. Neither of us speaks, suddenly not really knowing what to say. I don't know where this sudden awkwardness is coming from, we've spent the night together before, albeit when I'd accidentally fallen asleep, but still… Ok, I do know where the awkwardness is coming from. We're crossing into uncharted territory.

"Do you need to tell Mushi you won't be in tonight?" I ask quietly, unmoving.

He manages a small smile, "I'm pretty sure he won't be wondering where I am." He clears his throat, his cheeks turning pink. "Do you want something to eat? Or tea before bed?" The last word of his sentence comes out a little strangled. "We cou-"

I cut him off, crossing the distance between us and kissing him hard. He kisses me back, walking me backwards until I'm pressed up against the wall, his hands cupping my shoulders. After a few heated moments, he pulls back, his eyes wide, searching mine. "Are you sure?" He asks me, not really needing to specify about what exactly.

I nod, feeling his heart beating fast beneath my hand. It's resting against his skin, under his shirt at this point, goosebumps forming underneath my fingertips. "Are you?"

When he nods, I take his hand, and lead him down the hall and into my room. As Lee lowers my curtains, closing us off from the rest of the world, I light the candle on my bedside with flint. I remember my herbs then, courtesy of Hela. I had put them in the drawer chest next to my bed when I first arrived, in the event I would need them. I guess I wanted to need them, knowing that it was really only a matter of time, the tension between us has been thick and obvious for a while now. We're young but we're not children. I'm suddenly nervous then, I've never been intimate with anyone before, has he? I don't want to be the inexperienced one.

"Are you sure?" He asks again, having seen my expression. He comes to stand in front of me, his expression full of concern. "I don't want you to regret anything, or make you feel like you have to."

I smile gently, shaking my head. "I'm just… this is new, is all." My voice, although I know I'm speaking softly, seems to echo throughout the room around me. "But I'm ready," I add quickly.

"We'll figure it out together," he whispers, kissing me again, answering my earlier question.

For the first time in all the time I've known him, I can't help but feel conscious of my arm, strapped uselessly in my sling. He's nothing but gently, easing me out of it, pulling it forward and kissing my hand and my fingers. I know that I can't actually feel it, but my mind tricks me into thinking I can.

I help him ease his shirt over his head as best I can, staring at him in the dim light of the candles. His torso is lean and defined, his muscles solid. He frowns uncertainly under my gaze, "What?"

I answer him by kissing him, my hand sliding around and digging into his lower back, pulling him against me. I'm done talking.

We figure it out together. It's awkward really, and slightly painful, but it's also beautiful. We're connected, with nothing in between us. All of that built up tension, just melting away. I find myself yearning for the use of my other arm, laying useless beside me, wishing I could feel him, be connected with all of me. Out of the corner of my eye I notice the candle flicker, the flame burning brighter for a moment so brief I know I must have imagined it.

Later, when we're laying tangled beneath my blankets, his head on my chest, I remember my herbs.

"What is that?" He asks, his voice soft as I sit up.

I lean down and kiss his scar gently, "Precautions," I explain, quickly eating the surprisingly bitter herbs. I catch sight of our clothes then, strewn piece by piece across the floor, and I can't help but smile.

"What?" He asks sleepily.

I blow out the candle then, before laying back down and snuggling up beside him. "I love you."

He's already asleep, and doesn't answer, but I don't mind. I know what his answer would've been had he not already drifted off to sleep.

"Good night," I whisper, thankful not to be alone.