Finding Yourself

Author:Nightstar Productions(Nightstar Fury).

Rated: Mfor Mature.

Pairing:Toothless & Hiccup.

Disclaimer:I do not own the HTTYD movies, Dreamworks Dragons series.

Chapter 14: I'm Here For You.

It was the longest 5 days of his life but Wednesday finally came, the day of Hiccup's parent's wake and funeral. As Gobber had said, both he and Hiccup were out but no one blamed them. Toothless wanted to do more. He, Tyr, and Fishlegs all did but Gobber was adamant in the fact Hiccup didn't want anyone around. Toothless expected this, Gobber said that Hiccup spent his time praying for it to be a lie, that it wasn't true. Or still in shock it happened. Just as Toothless figured, he was still in the first stage of grieving. After tonight he'd probably move on to the second one which was anger and isolation. Usually one of the worse stages, the hardest to break through.

The week leading up to today was awful, constant prayers being sent to the family. Everyone giving Toothless, Tyr, and Fishlegs messages to give to Hiccup although it didn't matter since Hiccup didn't want to see anyone right now. A lot of them would see him tonight at the wake, that was hard to get through too. Hiccup would have to stand with his Gobber at the front as people walked by to offer their condolences to him. Shane and his uncle Sam would be there too but Toothless didn't know if they'd be standing at the front with Hiccup and Gobber.

As the school day concluded, Toothless was approached by Fishlegs and Tyr while he was at his locker. "So what time tonight?" Fishlegs asked.

"4..." Toothless answered.

"We going as a group or just meet there?" Tyr questioned now.

"Whatever you guys wanna do...We're all gonna be there one way or another..." Fishlegs mumbled.

"Lets just meet there at 3:45, give us time to get ready and...get it together...Last thing Hiccup needs is us not being able to handle it..." Toothless responded softly.

"Are...you going to be okay in all this, Toothless? You've kind'a been distant since it happened..." Tyr pointed out.

"I don't know how you managed to stay strong when you found out. I would'a cried with him..." Fishlegs said.

"Because when you see someone going through something terrible...You can't help but force yourself to stay strong, because when they fall apart they need to know someone is there to pick them up. And someone can't do that if they aren't strong. Hiccup doesn't need to see us fall apart too because then he has no one to help him stand again. I gotta get to my bus, I'll see you in an hour or so..." Toothless sighed walking away from them after shutting his locker. Tyr and Fishlegs looked at one another concerned as he walked away through the crowd to exit the building and go to the busses.

(Fury Household)

His bus ride was silent, his siblings tried to cheer him up but Toothless wasn't going for it. Reaching home he already saw his parents there waiting for them when they got off the bus. Toothless looked at them a moment before continuing forward inside. "Where are you going son?" Markus asked.

"To do my homework before 3:45..." Toothless said quietly.

"Sweetheart you can do it later–..." Lilly was cut off by Toothless saying.

"No. I want to do it now..." He trailed off slowly looking down and away from them, he hadn't meant to sound so cold though, "I just...want it out of the way...I need the distraction...before I lose it." Toothless sighed making his way past them and into the house. Markus kissed Lilly's cheek before they went inside after Celica, Elisa, and Eirik did. Upstairs with Toothless he was sitting at his desk, he wanted to text Hayden but doubted he'd answer so instead he texted Gobber to check on Hayden. ::How is he holding up, Mr. Borgeson?...-Toothless:: Pressing send, Toothless focused on his work or at least tried too.

A response came through and he opened the screen, ::Awful lad. He's been sitting in his parent's room for the last two hours staring at a picture of the three of them together. He's dreading tonight. He has barely slept more than 3 hours a night, and only eats once a day. I'm worried about him. -Gobber:: Reading that over made Toothless worry deeply, Hiccup wasn't doing well at all but what could Toothless do about it. Hiccup had to let him help him, Toothless knew that one all to well.

::Speaking from experience...Its going to be like this a while sir. The best you can do for him is give him space but watch closely. He's grieving, he wants time to remember them...and I guarantee he's wishing he could of done something differently that night but he knows deep down that nothing could of changed it. He's fighting himself and sooner or later he'll come around. All anyone can do is just remind him he isn't alone, and it will get easier...Tonight will be the hardest but it's the first step to accepting it and moving forward. -Toothless:: He sent it then continued his homework.

::You are a good friend to him, Toothless. If anyone can get him through this...its you. See you in a little while. -Gobber:: Toothless sighed reading it then putting his phone down, he certainly hoped Gobber was right about that. Because it was killing Toothless inside to see Hayden trying to deal with this alone. Toothless finished his history, algebra, and reading homework. Checking the clock it was only 3:20. Still 25 minutes before he had to get ready for the wake. Toothless decided to knock out his language arts homework too and by then it was 3:35.

There was a knock on the door as he glanced over, "Come in..." He mumbled, he saw it open to see Celica there.

"Mom and dad want to know if you're ready to go..." Celica asked softly.

"Physically...yes. Mentally, no." Toothless sighed as he got up and grabbed his phone. Celica closed the door nodding as Toothless changed in to his black dress pants, shoes, and dark blue button down shirt. He tucked it in nice before putting on his black jacket then adjusting the white tie. He and the others decided to wear it. They wanted to look good for their job of poll bearer so all of them were renting the same color suits. Checking himself in the mirror he turned his phone on silent before slipping it in to his pocket and leaving the room. He met his family downstairs, he saw his mother about to ask him if he was okay and beat her to it. "No. I'm not okay...But for Hayden I'm going to pretend to be..." Toothless said.

Without another word, they were in the van and headed to the funeral home. 'Odin give me strength...' Toothless prayed silently with his eyes closed.

(Berk Funeral Home)

The tightness in his chest got worse with each moment since the funeral home came in to view. Others were already arriving but waiting in their cars since the wake didn't start until 4:30. Toothless saw a lot of classmates too. Allie, Camilla, Heather, Rachel, and the boys who would be poll bearers for the other casket. His father pulled in to a parking spot as Toothless got out first and saw Tyr and Fishlegs walking over. "Is he here yet?" Toothless asked.

"Not yet. I'm sure he'll be here by 4 though...it's only 3:50." Tyr shrugged.

"You hear from Mr. Borgeson at all?" Fishlegs asked.

"Yeah, said Hiccup hasn't moved from his parent's bedroom in 2 hours. Barely sleeps and eats...just stares at pictures and photo albums..." Toothless sighed.

"That's not good...We gotta do something..." Tyr said softly.

"We can't. If we push him before he's ready...He'll get worse..." Toothless reminded, soon Gobber's red truck pulled in and they could already see Hiccup in the front seat. The truck shut off as they saw Gobber trying to coax Hiccup out but he wasn't budging. Gobber sighed getting out and motioning for Toothless, Tyr, and Fishlegs to come over.

"I can't get him out of the truck...I have to make sure everything is set up inside...think you lads can give it a shot?" Gobber asked them.

"We'll try..." Toothless nodded. Gobber nodded heading inside the funeral home, Toothless took a deep breath walking over to the drivers side and opening the door. "Hayden..." Toothless started.

"I–I don't want to...come out..." Hayden said shakily. Tyr and Fishlegs frowned motioning for Toothless to talk to him.

"W–why me?" Toothless asked.

"You've been through this before...You know what to do...We'll just wait over here okay?" Tyr said, Toothless sighed nodded as he climbed in the truck and sat beside Hiccup after closing the door.

"Hayden, I know...you don't want to come out but you have too...You can't...just sit in the truck..." Toothless said softly.

"I–I can't...Toothless...I can't come out...I don't...want to have...to s–say go–good...bye..." Hiccup choked out.

"Hayden...Its never goodbye. Its just...a vacation. You'll see them again one day...just like I'll see my parents again one day. They are all...just above us, watching over us...being our guides...The only difference it we can't see them anymore. But you know they are there...Come on, you have to come out of the truck...we'll be with you the whole time. I promise." Toothless offered.

"But I want...t–to see them now...I don't...want to wait..." Hiccup cried lowering his head.

"They will always be with you, Hayden. Everywhere you go, they will walk beside you. Trust me..." Toothless urged again putting a hand on his back.

"H–how do...I do this...Toothless...I–I don't know...how to...Gods its not true...Its not...They aren't g–gone..." Hiccup cried out.

Toothless lifted his chin a little and made Hiccup face him now, "Listen to me, Hayden. I know its not easy, I've been where you are now. I know how much it hurts to lose your parents, I lost mine too remember. I didn't want to do this either, CPS had to force me out...no one talked to me like I'm talking to you now. You've got...friends and family with you. We know you're hurting, Hayden. But...you can't stay hidden here. We are all here to help you get through this...now as weird as its gonna sound...I want you to take my hand and come out of the truck with me. We'll do this together. And I promise...you will get through this, just as I did. I was 8 when I lost my parents...if I could do it...then so can you." Toothless told him softly. "I've got your back, and I won't let you fall." Toothless added as he put his hand out.

Hiccup shakily took it as Toothless gripped it firmly and opened the truck door on Gobber's side and slid out as Hiccup reluctantly did the same until they were both out. Hiccup kept his head down as Toothless put his arm over Hiccup's shoulders and led him towards the funeral home entrance. He could feel how much Hiccup shook with each step. "Ssh...Its okay, Hayden...It's okay. You're doing fine." Toothless encouraged him.

Gobber opened the door, "I need the poll bearers please..." Toothless only led Hiccup to a seat and got him a cup of water.

"I'll be right back, okay." Toothless said softly, Hiccup managed a nod as Toothless left his side and joined the other poll bearers with Gobber and the funeral director. They explained everything that Shane, his dad, Gobber, Tommy, Erik, and Derek would be carrying Stephen's casket to the hearse while Markus, Toothless, Tyr, Adam, Fishlegs, and George would be carrying Valarie's. By the time everything was gone over, it was time to start to wake and first half of the funeral where people could say a few words about the deceased before they went to the cemetery for the rest.

God this was the worst day of Toothless's life, or second worst at least. When 4:30 struck, the doors were opened to the public. Toothless was about to take his seat when Hiccup motioned lightly for him to go over to him, confused Toothless did so. "I–I want you...t–to stay up here with me...please..." Hiccup asked him.

"Of course I will...Want me to get Tyr and Fishlegs too?" Toothless asked, Hiccup shook his head which surprised Toothless a bit. Hiccup only wanted him and Gobber up there with him? Well if that's what he was asking then Toothless wouldn't deny him. Toothless took his place beside Hiccup as people began coming in to pay their respects, shake Gobber's and Hiccup's hand before taking their seats in the pews. Toothless didn't say anything, he just stood next to Hiccup rubbing his back every now and then. The caskets were closed for his sake because the accident damage couldn't be fixed a whole lot.

As the line lessened, Hiccup began to get shaky again and was forced to sit down. "Gods...This isn't...hap–happening..." He whimpered.

"Its okay...Ssh...Its okay. Just take a few breaths, Hayden..." Toothless soothed gently. Hiccup ended staying seated as the rest of the people came by giving their condolences on the loss. Around 5:45, the director had his workers close the door to begin the ceremony. It was basic to say the least, the preacher said a few words, other people came up to say things about Stephen and Valarie such as how they knew him and fond memories. When it came time for Hiccup to say something, he had a hard time getting off the chair.

"Hayden...You have to go up there..." Gobber told him softly, Hiccup only shook his head with his eyes closed.

"Hiccup...You can do this...I promise you can. I'll go with you if you want me too so you don't have to be up there alone." Toothless offered. For a reason unknown to him, it worked because Hiccup got up slowly and Toothless followed him, keeping his hand on his friend's shoulder for comfort. "Just take it slow, no rush." Toothless told him.

"I–I'm...not really...good with words..." Hiccup started slowly. "My...parents were amazing people, and had the most patience I'd ever met...e–even when I messed up bad..." Hiccup looked towards the two caskets sitting side by side, he started to shake again. Toothless gave a squeeze on the shoulder now to calm him down. "I–I still...can't bring myself to process that...they are gone...And I–I don't know...how I'm...ever going to be the same without...them here..." Hiccup felt tears forming.

"Its okay, Hayden...take it slow..." Toothless whispered to him. Hiccup backed up from the podium slowly, shaking his head.

"I–I can't...I can't do this..." Hiccup whimpered softly.

"Yes you can..." Toothless told him.

"I can't...I just...ca–can't...Will you do...something for me...?" Hiccup asked gently, trying to control his tone.

"Anything...just name it." Toothless nodded to him.

"Yo–you're better with words...ca–can you..sing for them? F–for me? Ju–just something to get the emotions out...of how I'm feeling...like a go–goodbye?..." Hiccup asked him. Toothless was taken aback by the request, Hiccup wanted him to sing? In front of these people? Half of which he didn't even know.

"Ha–Hayden...y–you know I don't...sing with crowds..." Toothless stammered.

"Ple–please...Toothless...you said...you'd do...anything for me..." Hiccup said again. Shit. He had said that didn't he.

"And I...never go back on my word. I'll do it for you..." Toothless sighed to him, and maybe for the first time in the last two hours...Toothless saw a small smile on Hiccup's lips. "Any requests...?" Toothless asked.

"Whichever...one you think fits best..." Hiccup replied. Toothless nodded to him as he took the microphone and cleared his throat.

"Alright um...Hayden...seems...to think I'm...better with words and he's...asked me to...sing for you all, for him. A way to...get how he's feeling out, well a song to...fit the situation I guess...So...yeah...Here we go..." Toothless sighed heavily. He felt Hiccup pull him close to whisper to him.

"I–I actually thought of one...I–If you're up to it..." Hiccup asked.

"Which on, Hayden..." Toothless asked already dreading it, he had a feeling he knew which one.

"See You Again by Charlie Puth and Wiz Khalifa...I–I know it's a song...about friends losing one another but...mom and dad were...best friends and everyone...here is a friend of them...I know...you said any song but that b–..." Toothless only nodded to him slowly.

"You don't have to explain, Hayden...I'll do it. For you...if it...makes it at all easier for you to handle...then I'll do it. I've got the instrumental on my phone...Just...go sit down okay?" Toothless smiled at him.

"Yo–you're the best, Tooth..." Hiccup nodded as he slowly moved back to his seat beside Gobber and Toothless set up his phone on the speaker system as the music began.

Toothless took a deep breath to start. "It's been a long day without you, my friend. And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again. We've come a long way from where we began. Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again. When I see you again..." He opened his eyes now facing everyone.

"Damn, who knew? All the planes we flew. The things we've been through. That I'll be standing right here talking to you, 'bout another path. I know we loved to hit the road and laugh. But something told me that it wouldn't last. Had to switch up, look at things different, see the bigger picture. Those were the days. Hard work forever pays. Now I see you in a better place..." Toothless paused.

"Uh...How can we not talk about family when family's all that we got? Everything I went through you were standing there by my side. And now you gon' be with me for the last ride..." He trailed off taking another breath, he looked over seeing Hiccup smiling a bit.

His voice now softened, slowing down. "It's been a long day without you, my friend. And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again. We've come a long way from where we began. Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again. When I see you again..." He closed his eyes, "Aah oh, aah oh! Wooooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! Yeah..." It was hard to hit such high notes but thankfully he could.

"First you both go out your way. And the vibe is feeling strong. And what's small turn to a friendship. A friendship turn to a bond. And that bond will never be broken, the love will never get lost. And when brotherhood come first. Then the line will never be crossed. Established it on our own, when that line had to be drawn. And that line is what we reach. So remember me when I'm gone..." Toothless wasn't much of a rapper but this song wasn't as fast paced as some of the other rap songs he had heard in the past. Besides...this had been a personal request from Hiccup so he couldn't say no.

"How can we not talk about family when family's all that we got? Everything I went through you were standing there by my side. And now you gon' be with me for the last ride..." Toothless slowed down again looking up at the ceiling. "So let the light guide your way, yeah. Hold every memory as you go. And every road you take, will always lead you home. Home...It's been a long day without you, my friend. And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again. We've come a long way from where we began. Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again...When I see you again!" Toothless clenched his fist tightly.

"Aah oh!(Uh)Aah oh!(Yeah)Wooooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh...(Ya, ya)When I see you again!(Uh)See you again! Wooooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!(Yeah, yeah, uh-huh)When I see you again..." Toothless finished panting a bit. It took a minute but soon the group of people in the funeral home began clapping for him, he forced a smile giving a light head bow as he put the microphone back. Without warning he felt Hiccup throw his arms around his neck and hug him tightly.

"Thank you...Thank you so much, Toothless..." Hiccup cried to him. Toothless blinked a few times but he hugged him back then the two separated.

"I told you...There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you." Toothless reminded softly. Hiccup nodded as the two moved out of the way. Now being it was 6:15 or so it was time to move the caskets to the hearse's lined up outside the funeral home.

"At this time, we'll ask all guests to stand and line up outside leaving the isle clear for the poll bearers to walk between." The director asked gently. The room slowly left and dispersed to two lines leaving a space for the caskets to be carried through. Soft music played in the background while it was done. Stephen was to be carried out first, then Valarie. With everyone in place, it began. It didn't take long to have Stephen's casket be placed in the back of the hearse in front, then it came time for Valarie's. Toothless to his place at the head of the casket on the side where he wouldn't have to use his broken wrist for obvious reasons.

Hiccup stayed behind his mother's casket while it was carried out, he had already started crying again. It was loaded up and then Hiccup got back in Gobber's truck as it pulled in line behind the hearse's. The Jorgenson's nest, then the Fury's, the Felman's, and the Ingerman's pulled in line behind Gobber's truck, then the rest slowly afterwards. The trip to the cemetery wasn't long, maybe 10 minutes with traffic. Like before, the caskets were carried to the burial plots. Hiccup sat in the front row, others filed in the others. "Toothless...Will you...and the guys sit with me?..." Hiccup asked.

"You don't even have to ask, Hayden..." Tyr replied as the three of them sat next to Hiccup, Toothless being the closest to him. A few more words were said before the caskets were lowered and buried under a pile of dirt. Most hadn't stuck around for this but others did. Toothless, Tyr, and Fishlegs stayed with Hiccup until he was ready to go. Now nearing 7:15 after all said and done the only ones left were Hiccup, Toothless, Tyr, Fishlegs, Gobber, and of course the Fury's, Felman's, and Ingerman's families.

"I–it means a lot...you guys have...stayed with me in all this..." Hiccup finally said quietly.

"We're your best friends Hiccup...of course we'll stay with you." Fishlegs said to him.

"And if you need anything, we're all only a phone call away." Tyr reminded.

"I know...Thank you...so much..." Hiccup cried a bit.

"Ssh its alright, you don't have to be strong with us around. We know how much you're hurting...You take all the time you need to heal, Hiccup and remember we are here for you. Doesn't matter what time of the day, we're here." Toothless said softly. After that was said, Hiccup got in Gobber's truck again and they left. The 3 boys sighed heavily. "Now all we do is wait for nature to take its course..." Toothless closed his eyes.

Tyr and Fishlegs left with their families, then last to leave was Toothless with his own. Before leaving the cemetery, Toothless gave a silent prayer to his parents, and Hiccup's. 'I don't know what I can do to make this easier for him, but I promise I will do all I can. I'll take care of him...I swear it to you all.' Toothless closed his eyes as the car pulled away from the headstones and returned home. The night was quiet, Toothless ate then went to his room for the rest of the night. He didn't want to be bothered and his family understood that so they would leave him be for now. All anyone could do was just wait this out, for Hiccup to get through the grieving process but sometimes that was easier said than done.