Chapter 14:
A Raven and a Writing Desk
"'Why is a raven like a writing desk?'"
"Christmas," Lestrange began, "Is a holiday that commemorates the enslavement of the wizards by the un- magical folk."
Ginny wasn't listen to him that day in the middle of December. She knew what her fate would be if she were caught daydreaming in History of Magic, but after more than a week of almost total sleeplessness, she could no longer control it.
The thin jet of icy wind that penetrated through a slit in the window frame above her head had a calming effect on her. She found herself going back in her imagination to her night- time wanderings around the castle with Neville, Seamus and Luna, to the spraying of the rebellious slogans on the walls and to the pranks they pulled on the Death Eaters under the cover of darkness. The image of the slogan they had sprayed on the castle's front door that night and around it a gathering of students and teachers floated in her mind:
Dumbledore's Army Rules
Death Eaters Suck
The Carrows' fury at the slogan was worth the tremendous risk of nightly operation. That, and the smiles it put on the faces of many of the students – that is, of those who didn't frown or look frightened. But Sanpe's coolness at the sight and the grin on Lestrange's face continued to feed the flame of vengeance and rage that still burned in Ginny's heart.
She would have gone on dreaming, had it hadn't been for the small and troubled voice Luna had made beside her, and the trembling of excitement and surprise that passed through the room.
Lestrange raised his hand silently and the buzzing stopped immediately. He studied the class with his mean eyes, and Ginny felt nothing but cold emptiness as his eyes lingered on her for a moment.
"Don't expect any fancy trees and silly hymns at this ball," he said. "As I said, this muggle holiday marks the dark age when the un-magical stopped giving the wizards the respect and love they deserved, and then proceeded to spit on their honor and persecute them. As a result of the barbaric and consuming religion they imposed on the world, the wizarding holidays were forgotten and abandoned. This year we will celebrate Yule as it had been celebrated by the wizards of old, when the full moon is reflected on the frozen lakes, and all living beings brace themselves in the face of winter."
The bell in the east tower rang. No one stirred.
"The ball will be accompanied by all the holiday customs that most of us have long forgotten, or have never known," Lestrange continued, collecting his belongings lazily. "But for the sake of many of us who insist on loving the un-magical customs that have been embedded in our society, the staff decided to hold the celebrations in a somewhat similar format to the traditional Christmas ball. Hurry and find your partners, children – " His eyes flashed toward Ginny, "I know who I'm going to ask."
That night there was a strange atmosphere in the Gryffindor common room. Ginny was sitting with Seamus in the corner, both of them waiting for the daily forum to start. But it looked like no one was going to start talking soon. Everyone seemed to be busy with something else – homework, reading, or plain personal conversations. All around chatter about the ball could be heard.
"Can you believe that?" She said to Seamus, watching Romilda Vane lecture her friends enthusiastically as she demonstrated hair styles. "Did they forget it's a Death Eater's Ball?"
Seamus shrugged. "It's exhausting to fight all the time, Gin. They want to relax a bit."
"Relax? How can anyone – "
"It's hard to fight nonstop. And also..." Seamus' expression was painful. "Well, that's pretty obvious, in'it? Most of them aren't really resisting anymore, they just... Except it."
"But that's exactly what the Death Eaters want!"
"They probably know that," Seamus said with a sad smile. Ginny was startled for a moment; She had never seen him look so serious and defeated. "But... Well, it doesn't matter to them anymore. You wouldn't have wanted to stop fighting for a moment, just let it be?"
Of course she wanted to. But she wasn't allowed to think such thoughts.
She gave him a look. "Are you also considering giving up?"
He laughed, and the intense seriousness shattered. "Oh, No. I know what you'll do to my sorry arse if I'll only think about it."
She strained a smile. She couldn't laugh, because she felt a core of painful and bitter reality under the joke, and she had never felt so alone in her struggle. What was the hope that their resistance gave to the students worth if Seamus no longer truly believed in their cause?
Neville burst through the portrait hole, panting, just as the clock rang for curfew. He noticed Ginny and Seamus and approached them with a smile on his face.
"Look what I've got." He pulled out a crumbling book from the folds of his robe and showed it to them surreptitiously. "Madame Finch helped me get it, can you believe that? So we can know what they're planning for Yule, and maybe we'll be able to disrupt their plans..." He smiled at them both enthusiastically, but his smile faded at the sight of their serious expressions. "That's a good idea, isn't it?"
"It's a great idea, Neville," Seamus said with a real but sad smile.
"Yeah, it's a wonderful idea. Well done," Ginny said, getting up. "I'm going upstairs."
She headed for the stairs, but Neville stopped her before she started up.
"Hey, uh," he began quietly, making sure no one was listening. "We're still going to spray slogans in Carrow's classroom tonight, right?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Good..." Suddenly Neville looked a bit embarrassed. He looked at his shoes, a childish habit he had abandoned, but would occasionally return to. "About this ball... Maybe we should go there together – you know, so they won't suspect us when we hang around there together... To ruin their plans, you know... I mean, I suppose you could go with Seamus, but he can find someone else from DA and I... Ah, I just thought it would be a good idea, so as not to attract attention, so..."
"Alright, Neville," she said, interrupting his nervous murmuring. He was the last person she expected that would take the puppet- ball seriously. "You don't have to be so stressed. It's not a real ball. Except that I've already been asked."
Neville looked shocked. "Really? Who...?"
"Lestrange."
Neville's shock turned into a frown. "Lestrange? But –"
"He hasn't said anything to me yet, but I know what he's going to do. And it's not like I can refuse him. He enjoys torturing me."
Some of the color in Neville's face had turned pale. He was speechless.
"See you later," she said and went up to her room. She preferred to spare him the need to produce a comforting response, one which she didn't need at all.
She was not surprised to find Betty sitting in their rooms in her pajamas while all the other girls were down in the common room. She felt a strong urge to be alone sometimes, Ginny knew, ever since what had happened.
"You've got a gift," she told her as she came in, sitting on the bed with a book in her lap. She had a strange look on her face.
Ginny wasn't surprised by the nature of her gift. There was a blood-red dress spread on her bed. It looked brand new, and came along with a silk collar- like ribbon with a red gem and some golden hair pins.
She grabbed the hem of her dress and threw it on the floor with hatred. The pins scattered all over, and an envelope fell onto the carpet. She studied it for a moment, as if it were a nasty stain on the carpet, and finally picked it up and almost tore it open. After reading the note inside it once, the fury turned into confusion.
"Who is it from?" Betty asked her uneasily. "Someone asked you to the ball?"
"Yeah," Ginny replied, her eyes on the note. "Snape."
It felt like an eternity had passed from the day she received the invitation to the ball to the day it took place. The internalization that she was about to enter the Great Hall on Snape's arm had already become a part of her, like a disgusting and irreconcilable tumor – a clear and final fact.
Most of all she wanted to know why he had done it, and why was she saved from Lestrange. She watched the two of them whenever she had a chance, in classes or in the Great Hall. Nothing seemed to have changed in the dynamic between either of them and her; Snape still ignored her completely.
She had shared her confusion with her friends several times, but they had no answers for her. Seamus was horrified by the idea, Neville was trapped somewhere between disappointment and anger, and Luna only smiled encouragingly and shrugged, saying nothing. In fact, she hardly said a word about anything at all.
On the evening of the ball Ginny put on the red dress reluctantly. She refused her roommates' suggestions to do her hair for her, and gave the silk collar to another girl who had been eyeing it greedily. She wasn't going to do any more than she had to for Snape's satisfaction.
Attendance at the ball was mandatory, but Betty wasn't going. Ginny sat beside her on the bed while the rest of the girls, who had given up on her, stood in line behind the mirror to check their appearance before leaving.
"I don't have a dress, anyway," she gave Ginny her lame excuse. "They'd be mad if I came in t-shirt and jeans..."
"It's better than to ignore them. Betty, maybe before all they could do was make you write lines or clean night- pots. Today – "
"I know what they can do to me," Betty said bravely, but her voice trembled slightly. "I know. But if you can resist, so can I."
Ginny wanted to tell her that she knew how to fight, that she had more experience, that she was simply stronger. But she realized that these were all just cheap excuses.
She hugged her before she left and told her to take care of herself.
"You take care of yourself," Betty replied. Ginny was the last one to leave, giving her old friend one last encouraging half- smile.
As she descended the stairs to the common room she felt a bit like a knight about to fight a dragon – tense, calculated, and spiced with a healthy pinch of fear of her enemy.
Neville waited for her in the common room, wearing a dark blue dress- robe. It fitted him very well, but for some reason he looked like a man wearing a costume. He kept rubbing his hands together nervously.
"Where's Seamus?" She asked him.
"He's going with Hannah Abbott," he replied, and she felt that he was studying her. "I know you have a date, but... Can I accompany you downstairs?"
"I'm sure Snape isn't going to be jealous," she said and motioned him to come, deliberately ignoring the awkward way he began to offer her his arm. She couldn't deal with that side of Neville at that moment – she needed him sharp and focused.
"Remember how we went to the ball together in fourth year?" He said to her as they walked.
"I remember." Everything was much simpler then – no Harry, no Death Eaters, no Voldemort. "It was so much fun. I was the only one from my year that was invited, I felt so grown up."
Hermione went with Victor Krum, and Ron had sat in the corner ignoring his date so he could spend the evening sulking. Harry had sat there with him, troubled with thoughts, and Ginny had been quite pleased that she had decided to go with Neville instead of waiting for him to ask her.
"Yeah... It was great."
The castle looked empty without the traditional Christmas decorations. There were no trees or mistletoes, no sparkling lights or holiday carols from the suits of armor. The corridors were as gray as ever, the armor suits dusty and still, and even the people in the paintings weren't celebrating. The fat woman sat gloomily in her frame, without her friend Violet.
The students gathered in front of the Great Hall closed doors. Waves of excitement were moving over the crowd as they waited for them to open. Ginny felt good about her simple appearance in compered to other flashy girls, like a martyr savoring his pain.
After a short time of tense anticipation, a young Slytherin walked over to Ginny.
"The Headmaster requires you to join him," he said in boredom.
Ginny glanced at Neville. He seemed more concerned than her about the situation. She remembered how he used to be afraid of Snape when he was younger, and wondered how much of that uncontrollable fear he still owned in adulthood.
"Ready?" She said to him.
He nodded. "And you?"
She nodded.
The boy led her to the staff room, which was full of amazingly colorful people. It was strange to see all these Death Eaters in fine dress- robes instead of their black robes and masks. The original staff members where gathered in one corner, elegantly dressed but very uncomfortable, like a bunch of clowns in training; Especially Professor Slughorn, who had chosen a purple and gold robe that didn't suit him at all.
Near them stood Professor McGonagall, her arms crossed defiantly over her chest, before Snape and Lestrange. The three of them looked at Ginny as she was brought in front of them, and a flush of rage spread across the Transfiguration teacher's face.
"I will say it again, Severus," she said to Snape. "Even though you are the Headmaster of this school now, I implore you not to allow such lasciviousness here!"
"You forget that on Yule we live according to our ancient ways," Lestrange replied. "And according to the ancient ways a young woman who has already received her lunar blood is a woman in every way, student or not. The meaningless age determined by our Ministry for adulthood is influenced by muggle culture and the inexplicable laws of the un- magical."
McGonagall ignored him, continuing to talk to Snape, "Will you allow this to happen?"
"Yes," He answered coldly, looking straight into her face. "These are the Dark Lord's orders."
He didn't even bother to look at Ginny from the moment she arrived, as if she were nothing more than a speck of dust on the floor. She wasn't complaining about that, but she couldn't help but wonder why he'd ordered her there if not to torture her.
"And there's my date," Lestrange said suddenly, and Ginny turned to see who had entered.
It was a slim, tall girl in a simple black dress. Her white skin seemed to glow against the dark fabric in an almost supernatural hue. Around her white neck was a diamond necklace, sparkling like frozen tears, and her hair was decorated with pearls. Her cheeks were pale and her eyes crystle- blue like the diamonds on her neck, yet they had no spark in them. She moved as if she was floating, her face blank from emotion. People moved to let her pass, as if she were something terrible and divine.
When she saw Ginny she awakened from her daydream and smiled at her, a sad smile that was maybe supposed to be encouraging. It only made her feel far worse.
Lestrange came over and took Luna's pale arm in front of Ginny's face.
"Right on time," he said, looking at Ginny's friend with satisfaction, as if she were a meaningless trophy he had obtained without even trying. "It's time to open the ball. Severus?"
Snape gestured to Ginny to hold his arm. At first she didn't notice the gesture, because she was still so shocked by Luna's new condition, but finally held it reluctantly. Snape lead her to the door, keeping his distance from her, as if she was disgusting to him. The Death Eater Professors marched behind him, followed by the Death Eaters. Some of them were accompanied by schoolgirls, who were either smiling or downcast. At the end of the grotesque parade the original Hogwarts staff walked like criminals walking to the gallows.
Luna was walking with Lestrange on the other side of Snape. Ginny peaked at her at every opportunity, finding that her friend was immersed in a perpetual dream that surrounded her like an invisible shield from what was happening around her. She wasn't happy, but she wasn't exactly sad either. She was just expressionless. Lestrange was speaking to her, but she seldomly answered; And when she did answer she spoke as though not to him, but to some imaginary friend or to herself, as if Lestrange didn't exist.
Ginny was grief stricken that her friend hadn't shared her problem with her, and furious with herself that she only now realized how distant and quiet she was in the past few days. She had been so absorbed in herself and in her own problems that she didn't even consider that something might be wrong with Luna. She wanted to talk to her, to console her, apologize for the neglect, but Sanpe separated them with a cold barrier that was more impenetrable than any wall.