A/N: Warnings for abuse and a whole new load of angst. Working on the next chapter, hopefully it doesn't take me too long. Just updating this chapter to take out the stupid bold format that stuck all over the whole chapter instead of just the author's note... And stand by for updates, I've been writing.

Chapter Fourteen.

Roxas arrived at training on Tuesday evening feeling like he was in an alternate universe. Over the weekend he had only come into contact with Vexen once and although he had come away from the meeting limping and in a significant amount of pain, he had also come away with the feeling that Vexen was distracted and preoccupied with something. Much to his resigned frustration however Roxas' plan with Pence had worked far too well and a tuition session had trapped him at school on the Monday afternoon, but even though he missed Axel he still thanked Gaia that his ploy to stay safe had every potential to work.

The taxi pulled up outside of the training hall and as he thanked the taxi driver and disembarked Roxas had to smother a smile as he remembered another ray of light that had occurred over his weekend. In the aftermath of his one encounter with Vexen's attentions Roxas had been hit by a stroke of genius and just as Vexen turned to leave Roxas had blurted, 'I tried to scale back my Taekwon-do trainings but the instructor's asking questions about why I can't get there.'

In Roxas' memory Vexen turned around with a sour curl to his lip but before he could speak Roxas started babbling again in a petrified voice, 'I tried to make an excuse but I know he didn't believe me Vexen, I don't know what to do. If I only go to one training a week like I've been doing he's going to know that something's wrong. Please Vexen, I'm so scared he's going to do something like call Principal Diz… Please tell me what to do.'

Even though at the time Roxas had loathed himself for the servile and pathetically pleading tone in his voice, the combination of terror and the appearance of offering control had stroked Vexen's ego in just the right way. Roxas had left the dingy cupboard feeling like he was walking on air as Vexen had magnanimously ordered him to get back to training full time to make sure that no one figured out that there was anything out of the ordinary going on. Now, walking into the training hall and seeing Axel lounging against the wall waiting for him, Roxas allowed himself a beaming grin as he hurried forward to meet the other teen.

After dropping off Roxas on Friday Axel had thrown himself into his next school assignment with such fervour that he had all but finished the project by Sunday afternoon. Getting Roxas' text that he wouldn't be coming over Monday afternoon had thrown a wrench in Axel's flow of astrophysics brilliance, but in an effort to distract himself Axel channeled his excess energy and focus into his increasingly intense Taekwon-do training schedule. The rather extreme expenditure of energy allowed Axel to pass out in dreamless unconsciousness for the next two nights, but it also meant that when training rolled around on Tuesday he was only staying upright through sheer force of will.

The sunny smile that Roxas bestowed upon him as a greeting went a long way towards making Axel feel somewhat human and he found that he was able to return the grin with a tired but genuine smile. Pushing off the wall and sauntering towards Roxas, Axel attempted to buck up his ideas and said lightly, 'Ah, sir, so you're here for our Emos Anonymous meeting, good, good. I hope you brought along your bag of angst for the proceedings as we'll be creating little angst angels tonight for everyone to take home.'

Axel's off the cuff smart-arsery went over better than he ever could have hoped, as Roxas let out a surprised laugh and his smile grew even bigger. Then it was Axel's turn to be surprised when Roxas stopped in front of him and threw his arms around him in an unexpected and unrestrained hug. For a second Axel stood stock still, stunned by the sudden display of affection and then he slipped his arms gently around Roxas, returning the hug and dropping a feather-light kiss onto Roxas' wild blonde hair.

The hug only lasted for a few seconds, but in that time Axel felt his resilience return along with at least some of his strength and characteristic sass. By the time Roxas leaned back to look up at him Axel was smiling for real and he felt bold enough to dart his head forward and plant a quick kiss on Roxas' lips before pulling away and chuckling lightly at the astonished but pleased look on the blonde teen's face. Patting Roxas playfully on the head and stepping back to give him space to recover Axel was about to crack another joke when a sound from the back of the building sent a jolt of fear down his spine.

Both Axel and Roxas whipped around to look at the door to the hall as it creaked open, Axel instinctively stepping forward and to the side so that he was standing protectively in front of Roxas. All Axel could think in the moment was that Vexen had sent someone to attack him and Roxas, so when Zexion's slim, white-clad form slipped into the hall he stood and blinked in confusion for a second before relief swept over him. Out of the corner of his eye Axel could see that Roxas was trying to stop himself trembling at the fright they had both received and in order to give him a moment he walked quickly toward Zexion and said amiably, 'Hey Zex, it's good to see you. How are you… And your mum? I haven't really heard from you since you said she was able to come home.'

As he spoke Axel felt a vicious stab of guilt rip through him at the realization that, barring a couple of texts when Zexion's mum had been released from hospital, he hadn't gone over, called, or even properly texted to make sure his friend was okay or to find out what had actually happened. The voice that often tore him to bits from inside chose that moment to pipe up in Axel's head, 'He's your oldest friend you fucktard and you abandoned him. How the fuck do you think he is?' Faltering mid step Axel hesitantly flicked his eyes up to Zexion's face, prepared for a cold stare or wounded expression, but to his surprise and guilty relief Zexion was actually smiling at him.

To Axel's further astonishment Zexion didn't even reply immediately and simply stepped forward to pull him into a warm hug. Feeling like he had been dropped into a strange game with complicated rules that he hadn't been told about Axel tentatively returned the embrace and as Roxas slowly approached to stand off to one the side he drew back stared at Zexion, waiting to be told just what the hell was going on. Axel's brow furrowed as Zexion's expression clouded with a reflection of the guilt he felt and the then the other teen said quietly, 'I know you feel bad for not calling me Ax and you can stop right now. I could've got in touch with you but I was honestly so messed up that I could barely deal with Kadaj and dad…'

As Axel opened his mouth to say that he understood completely Zexion grimaced and held up his hand, forestalling Axel's comment so he could continue, 'Look, I know you're going to say forget about it or some stupid shit Ax, but I can't okay? I should've called or texted or something but I just dropped you and left you dealing with… With all your shit. Dammit Ax, stop being so understanding… You should be yelling at me for not even letting you know what happened.'

In the long years he had known Zexion Axel had never seen the other teen so distressed or agitated and mixed with his own guilt he felt a small glow of warmth that his friend cared about him so much. Waiting until Zexion subsided into depressed silence Axel bent down slightly so he could catch the shorter boy's eye and with a cheeky grin he punched him in the shoulder. As Zexion grinned and rubbed his shoulder with exaggerated hurt Axel declared, 'Alright so we both feel guilty about being too stupid to call each other, let's just let it cancel out and start over.'

Axel's grin widened as Zexion chuckled quietly while nodding in agreement but then both boys jumped about a foot in the air when Roxas cocked his head in comical confusion and cleared his throat pointedly. Having almost forgotten that Roxas was still there in the drama of the situation with Zexion, Axel had to try and pretend he wasn't having a heart attack when the blonde teen made his presence known and he blushed at his own absentmindedness. Trying to think of some way to smooth over his inattention Axel offered Roxas a wry smile and tried to work out how to explain what was going on.

It actually amused Roxas no end when he realized that Axel and Zexion had forgotten about him completely and as the awkward conversation progressed he tried to work out exactly what was going on. From what he could work out from the fragmented conversation Roxas gathered that something had happened with Zexion's mum recently and as the other two teens fumbled through apologizing for not talking to each other Roxas decided that he would really like to know what was going on. To his own private surprise Roxas felt comfortable enough to conspicuously clear his throat and when Axel and Zexion remembered he was there he said curiously, 'So do I get to know what's going on? Nice as it is to see whatever that was end nicely I still have no idea what's going on. Zexion, is your mum alright?'

Zexion recovered before Axel and Roxas silently appreciated the speed at which the teen regained his unflappable equilibrium. Gesturing to the bench at the back of the hall Zexion said in a perfectly natural tone, 'We might as well be comfortable if you want to hear the whole thing.'

Once Roxas sat down next to Axel who had slouched on the seat like his bones had melted Zexion sat down beside them and offered a fleeting half-smile. As Roxas waited patiently Zexion said, 'Axel was there so he knows this bit, two weeks ago Kadaj came home and found my mum passed out in the kitchen. It was so lucky he got there when he did… The EMT said that if he had been half an hour later… Anyway, when I got there they said she'd had a heart attack but that because the ambulance got there so fast her prognosis was good.'

As Zexion paused at the remembered fear and awfulness of the situation, Axel slung his arm around his shoulders to offer him strength. In a burst of daring Roxas reached over and patted Zexion's arm tentatively, trying to offer his own support to the shivering bluette and the combined comfort seemed to give him the strength to pick up his story again. Quietly Zexion continued, 'I don't really remember much of what the doctors said, Kadaj had to repeat it later when my brain started working again, but the upshot was that she should be fine with lots of rest and the medication they gave her. They let her come home after five days and because she's still so weak Kadaj and I have been looking after her. That's why I've missed a few trainings and didn't even call Ax to tell him what was going on.'

Axel turned his companionable arm into a half hug and as Zexion let out a sigh Roxas had a brainwave. Shyly, not quite sure how his suggestion would be received Roxas said, 'I'm sorry Zexion, that's horrible, you must be exhausted. I'm so glad she's going to be okay. Um, I had a thought… I just wondered if you might like to come round to Axel's place when I go over on Friday and we could just hang out and generally chill…?'

Even as he said the words Roxas was inwardly cringing and waiting for the polite refusals to what he was suddenly sure was a terrible idea that Axel would also hate. What actually greeted Roxas' impulsive offer was an enthusiastic 'Hell yeah!' from Axel and a surprised but quietly pleased smile from Zexion. While Axel started musing out loud about what they could do for the afternoon Zexion met Roxas' worried gaze and said, 'Like Axel said but in slightly more eloquent terms, I'd really like that. Thank you Roxas, I know I don't even really know you properly yet, but thanks for caring.'

At that point a laughing gaggle of female students burst into the hall and effectively disrupted the intense conversation that had turned into a comprehensive planning session for the coming Friday. With one more lopsided but genuinely pleased smile Zexion headed off to help set up the equipment and then when Xaldin strode into the hall Roxas gestured for Axel to do the same so he could have a quick word with their instructor. Roxas briefly noted that Axel looked a lot more at ease than when he had arrived at training and he smiled as he walked over to Xaldin, thinking that when he told Axel his next bit of news the other teen would be even happier.

Xaldin was busy at the front of the room when Roxas approached and as he had been taught the blonde teen stood to attention and waited to be noticed. After a couple of minutes Xaldin happened to glance Roxas' way and the big man immediately grinned widely, acknowledging him and booming in his deep voice, 'Well Mr Valo, it's good to see that you back on a Tuesday. I was worried our club was losing its valued newest member. Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?'

Unable to resist Xaldin's jovial good humour Roxas offered a self-conscious smile of his own and replied, 'I'm sorry to be so much trouble Sir, but I've sorted my stuff out and I've worked out a way that I'm able to come back to training full time…'

Roxas had been about to say something else but before he could open his mouth again Xaldin was shaking his hand cheerfully and chuckling, 'Ah Roxas, of all my students you have been the least trouble. You know about Axel already but you haven't had the chance to get to know the rest of the hoodlums here who seem determined to turn my hair grey.'

When he had first started at the Twilight Taekwon-do Club Roxas had been quite intimidated by the huge, brash Instructor Arma, but now that he knew the man he took the joking in his stride. Smiling back at Xaldin Roxas quipped, 'Sir, you must be aware that you can't use Axel as a yardstick for anything… He's in a league of his own. Actually I had a favour to ask of you Sir, about my trainings with Axel. I was wondering if I might be allowed to keep training with him at least one night a week? I'd really like to be ready for the grading in the, oh man, in the holidays, and with my disrupted training I'm kind of worried that I'm not up to scratch yet.'

Although he had presented his request as a small matter, Roxas waited breathlessly to see if Xaldin would allow him to keep training one on one with Axel. Pinned by Instructor Arma's contemplative stare and sure that the man could read him like a book with large print Roxas crossed his fingers as Xaldin said slowly, 'You know Roxas, it would be great to have another yellow belt running around here. And I will admit that instructing you seems to have done wonders for Axel's focus on his own prep for his black belt. Alright then Roxas, until the grading in July you can continue your trainings with Axel… As long as he doesn't neglect his own preparations and you both come join the main class as soon as I present you your yellow belt.'

For a moment Roxas was so elated that he couldn't speak, but then his brain caught up with a detail in Xaldin's words and he blinked and said quizzically, 'Um, that's wonderful, thank you Sir… But yellow belt? I thought I had to get my stripe first before I could even look at getting my full yellow belt…'

Once again Xaldin's laugh boomed out and Roxas was left staring in stunned delight as the man rumbled, 'You seem to have forgotten that I've been receiving reports on your progress Mr Valo and both Axel and I are in agreement that you are advanced enough to apply for a double grading when you go for your next rank. Now, I need to get my plan sorted for the class tonight so I'll ask you to get everyone together ready to get started and you can tell Mr Lasair about our plans too Roxas. Off you go, you can thank me by passing with flying colours.'

Setting up the hall ready for training was always a time consuming task but Axel felt like pirouetting around the room as he put the pads out after the strange but awesome interlude with Zexion and Roxas before class. Having all of his worry about Zexion dispelled had felt to Axel like at least some of the weight had fallen off his shoulders and then Roxas' impulsive but thoughtful offer of company to their now mutual friend had helped him cast off all of the fatigue and residual stress of his weekend. Axel was in the middle of arranging a stack of handheld pads along the side of the hall when he felt the presence of someone behind him and he turned around to see Roxas grinning at him so widely his face seemed to be one big smile.

Entirely curious Axel simply cocked his head to one side in mute query and that was all it took for Roxas to burst out, 'Instructor Arma said we can keep training one on one until my first grading! What have you told him? He said I would be put forward to go for my yellow belt instead of stripe and that you've been telling him I'm all advanced or something! Ax… What…?'

By the time Roxas trailed off Axel was beaming like the sun and after making sure that no one was watching too closely he wrapped Roxas in a quick, tight hug before pulling away swiftly. While Roxas tried to recover his composure Axel shoved the rest of the pads in a pile and spread his hands saying smugly, 'What can I say Rox, when I teach I do it right. Sure your weirdly awesome memory and natural talent might have played a part, but whatever, you're totally ready for being a yellow belt.'

Laughing lightly at the astounded and dazed look on Roxas' face Axel looked around when Xaldin bellowed the command to form up for class and he gently shoved the still stunned blonde in the direction of his spot up the back. Even though Xaldin chose to put the whole class through a grueling warmup that had everyone panting for breath Axel still managed to summon a flamboyant frolic towards the side room when Xaldin dismissed him and Roxas, clowning just to see the smile on Roxas' face. To his immense satisfaction Axel's horseplay drew a stifled snort from Roxas before the blonde clapped his hand over his mouth and Axel himself had to hide a wide grin as he ushered Roxas through the door.

Roxas' first proper training with Axel in almost a month felt like a soothing balm on his stressed and anxious spirit. Most of their time in the little room was spent bringing Roxas up to speed on theory and Korean terminology, but even through the rather intense study session Roxas still found himself in fits of laughter for most of the evening. The only thing that cast a slight shadow over the training was a vague worry that washed over Roxas a couple of times when Axel obviously thought that he wasn't looking, the blonde teen twice catching a glimpse of a transient expression of distracted anxiety crossing Axel's face before being wiped away once more by his easy grin.

Even the end of training and the prospect of going back to school didn't squash Roxas' positivity and as he plopped down in the passenger seat of Axel's car he remembered something that made his smile even bigger. Turning to Axel as the redhead slid into the driver's side with a sigh Roxas nudged his shoulder gently and said, 'Hey, um, Ax? Want to hear something else good just to top off this awesome evening?'

Axel's flamboyant gesture for him to elaborate drew an amused snort from Roxas before he stuck his tongue out and went on, 'It's nice to see that tiredness is no impediment to being a smartass. Anyway, I didn't have a chance to tell you about what happened today… I managed to catch Vexen off guard and I… I bullshitted him into believing that someone would pick up on things not being right if I didn't go back to training full time. I couldn't quite swing coming round to your place after school tomorrow, but I'll definitely work out some way to get there on Friday.'

Roxas was abruptly cut off by a jubilant obscenity from Axel who had gone from exhausted to gleeful in two seconds flat. Although Roxas had been expecting some dramatic outburst from the other teen, he was still taken by surprise when Axel cast a quick look around the empty carpark and then leaned over, planting an exuberant kiss on his lips. As Roxas blinked in surprise at the grinning redhead Axel wedged himself in the middle of the car seats and slung an arm around his shoulders saying, 'Rox, that's so fucking awesome. Getting you out of that place… Well, I think you just made my night actually.'

The genuine excitement in Axel's reaction to his small bit of good news along with the shiver that ran through him at the feeling of the redhead's arm wrapping around him brushed away what remained of Roxas' shyness. While Axel was still grinning into space Roxas wriggled around until he was facing the other teen and then he reached up to cup Axel's cheek with his palm, gently pulling Axel around to face him so he could stretch up and initiate a soft kiss. The look of pleasure in Axel's green gaze as he realized what was happening was the last thing Roxas saw before he closed his eyes and let himself go.

Allowing himself to be totally swept away in how good it felt to kiss Axel, Roxas trembled as the other teen returned the kiss fervently and almost without him willing it his hands began to wander. Hesitantly Roxas trailed his hands down Axel's cheek, his left hand sliding back to comb through the red hair he loved so much while his right hand stroked lightly down Axel's neck, eliciting a low hum of pleasure. When his fingers brushed over Axel's collarbone however Roxas' brain caught up with what he was doing and he flinched away involuntarily, suddenly terrified that he was taking it too far and touching Axel where he didn't want to be touched.

Miraculously Axel seemed to know exactly what was going through his mind and even as Roxas pulled back, his hand was grasped lightly and placed back where it had been on Axel's chest. Reluctantly raising his eyes to meet Axel's steady gaze Roxas shivered as the other teen said gently, 'You can touch me if you want to Rox. I want to touch you too, if you want me to… Only if you want me to…'

The fact that Axel knew exactly what was going through his head actually cut through Roxas' doubts and when he offered a small smile he felt his heart skip a beat at the beautiful smile that Axel gave him in return. Unable to look away from Axel's vivid green eyes Roxas tried to remember how to breathe and slowly he splayed his fingers, pressing his palm against Axel's chest so he could feel the steady thump of the other teen's heart. Drawn back in by the gentle smile that lit Axel's face, Roxas leaned forward again and reignited the kiss.

For once when Axel let Roxas out of the car to return to school he had a smile on his face that wasn't wiped away by the sight of the blonde waving goodbye. In Axel's head as he drove home, completely replacing his inner voice for the moment at least, was a mental image of how Roxas had unconsciously licked his lips before tilting his head for the kiss, coupled with how it had felt when the blonde teen moaned into his mouth and deepened the kiss of his own volition. The whole way home Axel replayed the wonderful interlude over and over, trying to imprint the memory on his brain so that he would never forget the few short minutes.

Pulling into his driveway and seeing his little house right where he left it with all the curtains open and the windows dark was what finally dispersed the metaphorical pink clouds that were circling Axel's head and he fell back to earth with a disgruntled huff and a thud. Although the residual good feelings still lingered like a faint warmth in the back of his mind, Axel glared at the waiting house as if it was the cause of the responsibilities he had briefly managed to forget about. Axel's productivity with his coursework over the weekend hadn't really made much of a dent in his educational workload and before he could crash into bed he had to fill in a progress report as well as complete his cycle of training exercises for his black belt schedule.

Giving in to a little of the annoyance and frustration trickling into the back of his mind Axel stomped into the house and resisted the rather strong urge to slam the door behind himself as he flicked the light on and glared around. With a look of deep displeasure on his face Axel decided to tackle his progress report before slogging his way through his remaining training checklist so he slumped into a chair at the table and opened his laptop. In all actuality the study update for his tutors at Destiny University only took Axel ten minutes to blow through and once he pushed send on the email he found that he was starting to feel a little more emotionally stable.

By the time he had done every single pattern in his repertoire twice through, completed one hundred push ups and two hundred sit ups and warmed down with twenty minutes of stretching, Axel was feeling totally exhausted, but also lot more in control of himself. Staggering back inside from the garage and turning out the lights as he went, Axel tried to recapture how he had felt with Roxas in the car and when he jumped in the shower to sluice off the day's grime he found that a smile had stolen its way back onto his face. Axel leaned against the wall under the hot spray of the shower and a sigh escaped him as he pressed his fingers against his chest on the spot where Roxas' hand had rested only a few hours before.

Roxas scurried into his despised first period Geography class on Wednesday morning and threw himself into his seat just as the bell rang. From the front of the classroom Professor Clayton sneered at his almost late student, but Roxas was saved by the sudden arrival of a red-faced prefect who burst in the door and bustled forward to mutter in the annoyed teacher's ear. Holding his breath Roxas watched the conversation unfold and then he let out a silent sigh of relief when Professor Clayton ignored him completely and shouted for the class to pay attention. In a tone of exasperation the professor said, 'Apparently the admin staff are already on vacation because they forgot to send the reminder notice to make sure you idiots don't forget that term ends on July 3rd. Write it down.'

As Professor Clayton rolled his eyes at his suddenly noisy class and turned back to the whiteboard Roxas propped his elbows on his desk and buried his head in his hands. Somehow Roxas had managed to push out of his mind that the holidays didn't just mean his first Taekwon-do grading and being reminded of what it meant with school punched a hole right through his good mood. Ever since Roxas' first year at Twilight Boarding Vexen had forced him to stay at the school during the holidays and for the abused teen 'vacation' had become synonymous with a two week, non-stop nightmare.

Almost on autopilot Roxas copied down the notes that Professor Clayton assured the class contained crucial information for a later test and while his pen moved over the paper his thoughts grew darker and darker. Geography faded into Physics which magically became lunch, but Roxas was denied the downtime of relaxing in the cafeteria by a text message that ordered his presence in the supply closet two minutes after Physics finished. Already downcast about the impending holidays it took all of Roxas' self-control to slap on a convincing façade as he trudged off towards his little cupboard of hell on the second floor.

Checking his watch as he approached the closet Roxas felt a tiny tingle of relief that he had made it in the allocated time, but then the relief swiftly vanished to be replaced by a dull fear of what was to come. His fingers shaking slightly Roxas did his best to distance himself from his emotions and inner self as he pushed open the door, slipping inside to once more give himself to a monster. Vexen was lounging against the back wall of the closet with his arms folded arrogantly over his chest and Roxas could feel the teen's icy green gaze raking over his body as he turned to close the door behind himself.

The second the latch of the door clicked closed Roxas felt Vexen's hand clamp down on his shoulder and he forced himself not to cry out as the teen's other hand tangled in his hair and yanked hard. Pulled off balance Roxas stumbled backward and as he crashed into Vexen's chest the air was squeezed from his lungs by the long arm that wrapped around his ribs and crushed his body tightly against the other teen. Biting his lip hard to keep himself quiet Roxas endured stoically as Vexen's hands roamed over his chest and down his stomach and he bit deep enough to draw blood when Vexen chuckled and crept his fingers down under the waistband of his pants.

Although Vexen's touch made him want to either throw up or scream his lungs out Roxas drew upon his waning reserves of self-control and swallowed heavily as Vexen's hand brushed over his crotch. Trying to drown out the cruel and lewd words Vexen was whispering in his ear Roxas distanced himself from what was being done to his body and clung tight to the one good memory that was still in reach. As Vexen's touch coaxed him to unwilling arousal Roxas instead felt Axel's lips press gently against his own; and when Vexen yanked Roxas' hand around to touch his own hardness he disappeared into the memory of Axel's beautiful smile.

It wasn't long however until Roxas was jolted out of his defensive daydream by a jarring break in Vexen's usually predictable escalation of sexual violation. Instead of either bringing Roxas or himself to climax, the teen let out an abrupt growl of anger and frustration and unleashed a thundering blow that sent Roxas crashing into the wall before he knew what was happening. Roxas' breath was knocked from him as he fell to the floor with a hoarse bark of pain and he didn't have to feign bewilderment and terror as he huddled on the ground and tried to protect himself from the worst of Vexen's punches.

Knowing how Vexen's 'love taps' usually turned into full scale, uncontrolled beatings Roxas did his best to curl up in a position that protected the parts of him that were still healing from Vexen's last explosion. A vicious kick hammered into Roxas' back just above his hip and an agonized cry escaped the teen before he could sink his teeth into his tongue to stifle his pain. From long experience Roxas cringed in expectation of an escalation of aggression in reaction to his sound of pain, but then his world dissolved into confusion when Vexen merely aimed one more half-hearted kick at his shoulder and then abruptly slammed his way out of the storage room.

Throbbing pain radiated out from Roxas' hip and his stomach churned with residual disgust, but the main emotion that flooded the teen's reeling mind was perplexity. While he had been lying on the floor completely at Vexen's mercy Roxas had anticipated brutalization severe enough to possibly prevent him from going to training and to have Vexen just up and leave in the middle of a beating was unprecedented. Slowly pushing himself up so that he was sitting against the wall Roxas checked his latest lot of injuries absentmindedly, his mind whirling with questions about what the hell Vexen's behaviour could mean.

For the whole rest of the day Roxas alternated between distracted preoccupation and nervous paranoia that Vexen would catch him and finish the beating he had started and even when he made it out of the front gates unscathed he was still preoccupied with trying to come up with an explanation. The whole taxi ride to Taekwon-do Roxas slouched in his seat and stared blankly at the dashboard, his mind flicking between Vexen's stranger than usual behaviour and the looming hell that would be his school holidays. Pulling into the training hall carpark served to drag Roxas partly out of his unpleasant thoughts and as he plodded up the steps into the hall he tried to pull himself together.

Slipping into the empty hall and seeing Axel lounging against the wall waiting for him brought a half-hearted smile to Roxas' face and in the moment he simply couldn't open his mouth and voice his new batch of angsty bullshit simply because saying it out loud would make it real. Concentrating on the beaming grin on Axel's face Roxas was able to turn his own smile into something more natural looking and on impulse he moved forward and wrapped his arms around Axel's skinny waist. Tilting his head back so he could look up into Axel's surprised face Roxas said, 'It's good to see you Ax… I missed you. Geez, one whole day and I already need my Axel fix.'

As Axel's chuckle echoed around the room Roxas' smile widened into a grin, but his happy expression quickly dissolved into a pained grimace when Axel hugged him back and the pressure tweaked his sore hip. Wincing away from Axel's hold Roxas limped around in a circle for a moment in an attempt to work out the ache and as the pain slowly eased he heaved a sigh and slumped back against the wall beside Axel who was watching him with narrowed eyes. Sighing again and smiling wryly Roxas glanced at Axel and answered his unspoken question, 'Same shit different day Axel. It wasn't even that bad. Um, can we just ignore it for now? Training's going to be fun with a screwed hip but right now I just want to forget about all that shit…'

Hurting Roxas' hip while giving him a hug just about topped off Axel's day of erratic and extreme emotions, the reminder of what Roxas had to endure on a daily basis smacking the redhead right in the face. Roxas' quiet plea for a night free of negative bullshit hung in the air for a moment as Axel struggled to centre himself and it took more effort than he anticipated to wipe away his scowl, force a smile and nod in agreement to Roxas' plan. Wanting nothing more than to bring back the smile that had lit up Roxas' face moments before Axel conjured a burst of levity and quipped, 'Oh wow Rox, you kept that quiet. Shitting all over every day, you might need to see a doctor if you can't get to the bathroom.'

As soon as the words left his mouth Axel went bright red and he buried his face in his hands at the sheer force of his own inanity, wishing fervently for the ground to just swallow him up. Apparently Roxas appreciated the toilet humour however because Axel was treated to the beautiful sound of the blonde teen laughing so hard he went into a coughing fit. Peeking over his fingers with a deep blush still staining his cheeks, Axel saw that Roxas had collapsed in a giggling heap against the wall and he forgot his own embarrassment, breaking into quiet laughter as well.

Maintaining his easy-going façade along with giving Roxas a training that challenged him without hurting his injuries drained Axel in ways he couldn't believe and by the time the pair were halfway through their class he felt like he was almost out on his feet. Because he was so intent on pretending that everything was just damn well hunky dory it took Axel longer than usual to pick up on the fact that something was still a little off with his training partner, but as soon as he realized it his mouth cut in without his brain's intervention. Roxas was glaring absently at the floor during a drinks break when Axel blurted out, 'I know we were going to forget the shit… But Rox, what's going on in your head?'

At the sound of Axel's unexpected question Roxas jumped and looked around quickly, a look flashing across his face that Axel identified after a moment as guilt. A tendril of anxiety unfurling in his stomach Axel bit his lip as Roxas said haltingly, 'I'm just… I… I don't really want to talk about it. I'm sorry… Is that okay?'

Pasting a convincing smile on his face Axel nodded and continued smoothly on with the lesson, but behind the auto-pilot of his instruction his thoughts were confused and full of anxiety. When he had woken up that morning Axel had started off in the hangover of the bliss of kissing Roxas the night before, but as the day wore on he had fluctuated between struggling and stable until right at that moment when he settled on tortured in the face of Roxas' brush off. Training was usually Axel's sanctuary from the troubles of the world, but knowing that Roxas was struggling and shutting him out left the redhead wishing that class would just fucking end already.

Awkward in a way he had never been in the course of his short friendship with Roxas, Axel could tell that he was only able to pull off the whole 'cheerful instructor' persona because Roxas' mind was a million miles away. The fact that moving out of their room for the end of class felt like a relief sat like a stone in Axel's gut and he could feel himself being dragged lower and lower with every passing second. Going through the motions of the traditional closing of class Axel mechanically put away his share of the training equipment, all the while watching Roxas' disturbing vacant expression, and then they headed out to the car in silence.

For the first time since he had been ferrying Roxas back to school Axel couldn't think of a thing to say as he drove through the dark streets, the teen second guessing every possible thought that tried to come out of his mouth. As they drew close to the school though Axel felt his heartbeat speed up and his throat grow tight, the thought of letting Roxas leave with things as they were making his stomach tie itself in knots. Pulling up beside the curb Axel watched as Roxas absently went to open the door and at that point something in him snapped and he made a wordless sound of denial before reaching out and pulling the startled Roxas into a tight hug.

For a second Axel felt Roxas stiffen against him, but then the slight teen let out a shuddering sigh and returned the hug. The feeling of Roxas clinging to him tore away at the slender hold that Axel had on his turbulent emotions and in an effort not to give away the desperation clawing at him he buried his face in Roxas' soft spikes of hair. Time ticked away and when Roxas pulled back and turned away Axel couldn't take it anymore, whispering in a voice almost too quiet to hear, 'I don't know what's up Rox, but I'm here whenever you need me. I get that you don't want to talk to me right now… Just please, please don't shut me out.'

Roxas startled awake at four thirty Friday morning and all he could do was stare blankly into the darkness with a look of misery on his face. When Axel had whispered his gut-wrenching plea into his ear on Wednesday night it had just about broken Roxas' heart, but at the time and even through the next awful night at training he had still been unable to force himself to put the thoughts in his head into words and then it was too late. The moment his eyes snapped open on the last day of the week Roxas felt his heart slowly sink to his toes and it was all the worse because the fact that it was so early meant that he couldn't legitimately be out of bed for at least another two hours.

Lying on his back and listening to the soft sounds of his sleeping roommates acted like coarse sandpaper on Roxas' nerves and as time dragged by he just got more and more tense. Even though training the night before had made obvious the effect that his reticence was having on Axel and he wasn't even sure if he was still welcome at the redhead's house, Roxas still hadn't been able to bring himself to call Zexion to call off their planned afternoon and now his anxiety was getting out of control. In the quiet of early dawn Roxas tried but failed to control his erratic thoughts and against his will he fell into a horrible memory of the night before.

Axel had greeted Roxas uncertainly before their Thursday night training and knowing that he had managed to erase the usually brilliant smile from the redhead's face cut Roxas deep, although it still wasn't enough to make him talk. The stilted conversation they had while they set up the training equipment felt foreign and awkward to Roxas and for once he was actually relieved when Xaldin called for the start of class. Breaking off from the main class and repairing to the smaller room had come to feel like routine for Roxas and for the first few minutes of his one on one class he had actually been able to pretend that things were almost normal.

In Roxas' memory time blurred for about half an hour, skipping over the impersonal instruction on how to act in the traditional setting of his upcoming grading, and then his mind's eye focused on the moment of training when everything went to total shit. Somehow training had moved from etiquette to the basics of sparring and apparently Axel had been teaching Roxas too well, because only a few minutes into the mock fight Roxas landed a punch on Axel's shoulder that drained the blood from the redhead's face and made him bite back a curse. Worried because Axel had looked like he had been about to pass out Roxas had blurted out, 'What's wrong Ax?'

As he stared at Axel Roxas felt a tiny frisson of fear shoot down his spine when he saw a fleeting expression of bitterness and dark anger pass across the redhead's face before being swiftly replaced by a blank mask. Even though the words were conspicuously not said aloud Roxas knew that it was his recent evasiveness that drove Axel's blunt response as he said flatly, 'Don't worry about it, it's just an old training injury. Go get a drink and then we can move on to padwork.'

Because Roxas wasn't stupid he watched Axel covertly while he had a quick drink and out of the corner of his eye he saw the other teen prod briefly at the spot on his arm, wince and then turn away to fiddle with the sleeve of his uniform. The over-bright smile that Axel turned on him when he turned back around made Roxas' heart ache and though he could tell that Axel had cut himself in the last day or so and though he knew that Axel knew that he knew, he still just lowered his gaze and returned to his spot. Axel's tone, the blank look in his eyes and even the tense set of his shoulders spoke louder than words to Roxas about how much his reaction or lack thereof had hurt and the blonde teen ended up trudging back to into the main hall feeling like the biggest bastard in the known universe.

Roxas' mind was so fragmented and distracted that he somehow convinced himself he had gone too far to give in and spill his problem to Axel, so during the clean-up of the hall he tried avoid Axel as much as possible. Though he stayed away from the redhead physically and knew that he would be riding back to school with other teen soon anyway, Roxas' thoughts were haunted by how Axel had looked when his punch had connected and when he literally ran into Axel in a narrow corridor his flight response took over and he simply had to escape. Despite the fact that he had been avoiding Axel as much as was possible all night, Roxas was both shocked and more than a little devastated when he got out to the carpark and found a taxi waiting for him with Axel nowhere in sight.

Roxas' sight blurred and he squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt not to burst into tears at the thought that he had hurt Axel so much that the other teen had left him at the hall without a word or goodbye. As the dim room brightened with the dawn Roxas tore himself to shreds again and again for what he was doing to the one person who had given him nothing but support and by the time he really had to get up he had sworn an oath to himself to never shut Axel out again; that was if the redhead ever spoke to him again. Just about sleepwalking his way through getting ready for another day, Roxas' mind was far, far away from school as he tried to think of how he could make things up to Axel.

Gaia must have been watching over Roxas in school on Friday, for he never caught so much as a single glimpse of Vexen either in class or during his treks through the long halls, but it was only when he was safe in the taxi and on his way to Axel's that he let out a quiet sigh of relief. Roxas' relief was however short lived as he cast aside one worry for another, the blonde immediately feeling his hands start to shake as he realized that he had no idea what he was going to say to his friend, or at least the teen that he hoped was still his friend. The taxi ride was twenty minutes of torture for Roxas' over-functioning mind and by the time he stood in front of Axel's house he was a trembling wreck.

It took a huge amount of effort for Roxas to lift his hand roughly a thousand miles to knock on the door and as the sound echoed loudly he felt his anxiety coalesce in a choking lump to sit at the back of his throat. His own stupid stubbornness, Axel's probable self-harm, the actual approaching hell of the holidays, everything blurred together and rose up in Roxas' mind, threatening to overwhelm his shaky hold on what was left of his resilience and emotions. It was only a couple of seconds later that Axel opened the door, but by that time Roxas was so panicked and distressed that he abruptly lurched forward and threw his arms around the redhead in a desperate hug.