Chapter 13

Christine watched as the door knob turned. She had no idea what was about to happen. She supposed Erik was going to want an explanation, but that was the problem. Christine didn't know why she was behaving this way.

She could only hope the answer would come quickly, as in before any other weird incident could occur.

Erik opened the door and stood in the doorway silently asking for an invitation inside, but all he received was a nervous glance from her. After a moment, he stepped inside the room and looked around at all the touches of Christine.

What is he doing? Christine wondered.

His eyes found hers. "Forgive me, but I don't think I have ever asked," he began. "Do you like your bedroom?"

What a way to start this conversation… She looked around for a few seconds while recalling the first time she ever studied everything in the room. She remembered thinking it was creepy how he seemed to know everything she was interested in. Since then, she'd barely touched anything.

So, actually, he could probably answer his own question. That being said, was this a trap? "I don't know," she finally replied, although that answer only made her think about earlier when she'd told him the same thing to another question. I hope he doesn't make some connection, because there isn't one.

"Hmmm.." Erik walked around briefly before acknowledging, "Nothing has been moved. Perhaps, if you were to become acquainted with your belongings, you would know if you liked them."

What's he getting at?

"You seem to have become acquainted with me…" The same small smile he'd made downstairs returned to his masked face.

Christine was beginning to sense that he was insinuating something. "Look, about what happened down there…"

"Yes?" Erik encouraged, delighted that she was bringing it up.

"That was… wrong. It shouldn't have happened."

" 'What' shouldn't have happened?" he asked nonchalantly.

He was toying with her! He was considering this to be a game. Christine crossed her arms deciding that two could play. "You shouldn't have kissed me when I was so mad at you." She knew that wasn't the answer he was wanting.

Erik was amused by her avoidance. He smirked. "Well, I think it's safe to say your anger was short-lived. I believe that was made perfectly clear."

"Short-lived?" Her eyes narrowed. "No, Erik, I'm still mad at you. I don't think that's short-lived."

"Don't deny your feelings for me," he whispered while staring deep into her eyes.

"I'm not denying anything. You have no idea how I feel." He thought he was so smart, and it was beginning to get on Christine's nerves.

Sick of this little game, Erik firmly said, "We both know what happened downstairs. I kissed you and you responded. You can only delay thinking about it for so long, Christine. Tell me the truth. Did you or did you not kiss me back?"

There was no way of avoiding it any longer. Fine. She sighed tiredly. "Yeah, I did for about two seconds, but-"

"And did you or did you not enjoy it?"

It was like she was being interrogated by a lawyer or something. Christine crossed her arms in a defiant sort of way. "I haven't really given my feelings towards it much thought. Maybe that answers your question."

"You're lying."

Yeah, I am, her mind whispered. "Why would I lie to you?"

"You're lying because you are afraid of what others will think."

"What others?" she asked, looking from left to right. "I don't see any others, which is part of the problem. You took me away from the people I love."

" I'm here."

"What?"

"By others, I didn't mean them. I meant me. You're afraid of what I will think. In fact, you're terrified."

Christine rolled her eyes and let out a short laugh. "It always has to be about you, doesn't it?"

Erik knew he was thinking more clearly than she was now. She was in denial, and she didn't even know it. "Angel, this most definitely isn't about me. It's about us. Don't you see? You're wasting all of your energy trying to go against what I'm saying." His gaze softened. "You don't always have to make things so difficult, you know."

She suddenly realized something… He was right. She did always make things harder than they needed to be. Or, at least, she was making this harder than it needed to be. Why am I making this so hard? I could just tell him the kiss was nothing and 'I don't know' really meant 'hell no, there's no hope for us'. Why can't I tell him that?

Christine's eyes found his. Whoa… She wasn't prepared for such a look. Sure, he'd looked at her intensely plenty of times before, but there was such depth to this look. It was as if he was seeing inside her soul. And his gaze was so gentle. "Why do you have to look at me that way?" she couldn't stop herself from asking.

He blinked. "What do you mean?"

"It's just-.. I-.." Christine shrugged and looked down. "I don't know," she said helplessly. "I really don't know, Erik."

Studying her confused face, he asked, "Perhaps you need some time to think?"

She nodded. Did she ever… "Yeah. Yeah, I do."

Erik gazed at her a moment more before leaving the room, closing the door on his way out. He would give her space. In the past, he hadn't been willing, but she just looked so lost. Perhaps she was confused because she was still hurting. He did kidnap her and force her to marry him, after all. His giving her time would help. Time heals all wounds…

Christine was tired of thinking so much. Maybe a nap would help. Well, it couldn't hurt. Her mind would be much clearer after some well-deserved sleep.

IIIIIII

Hours later, she awoke with a headache. She'd had a weird dream. Erik had been in it, and so had her boyfriend, Robert. They'd been standing in a room side by side with their backs facing her. From behind, Christine hadn't been able to differentiate one from the other. Her job had been to pick one of them. She needed to pick the one she had the closest bond to.

She'd approached the one on the right and tapped his shoulder. And when he'd turned around, she could see that she'd picked Erik. A loud radio announcer's voice then had announced, "Christine Destler has chosen her husband, Erik Destler!"

She'd woken up then, and now she was lying in bed wondering why she'd dreamt it and what it meant.

Sighing, she sat up and stretched her arms above her head.

This was getting to be ridiculous, really. Since when was it more important to think about her feelings for her kidnapper than it was to think about the people who were really being affected by all of this- her friends and family?

Christine had been so focused on her own life that she'd neglected the people who mattered most. Mom… Dad…

Just the thought of them brought tears to her eyes. She hated to think that they were in pain over her disappearance. But, of course they were. They were her parents. It was their job to worry, even if she wasn't in danger. But, now that they thought she was in danger, they were probably worried sick.

A knock on her bedroom door jolted Christine from her thoughts. Before she was able to speak, Erik walked into the room. She hurriedly tried to wipe her face clean of tears.

"I'm sorry to disturb you. I was hoping we could talk some more-" He stopped speaking when her face came into view. She was crying! Horrified, Erik asked, "Christine, what is wrong?" He moved towards her bed.

Christine sniffled some before shaking her head. "Nothing. I- it's nothing."

He came to stand at the foot of her bed and gently said, "It's obviously something. Please, talk to me."

Well, she didn't really have any other options. It was either talk to him or continue to bottle it up. Actually, Christine was beginning to think it would be a good idea to approach the subject of her parents. "I don't know if it would do any good telling you, but I… I really miss my parents." Christine looked down as more tears fell down her cheeks.

Erik's heart wrenched in pain at the sight. His beloved was hurting, but there was nothing he could do. Why, oh why could she not forget them and just live happily with him? "I'm sorry, Christine," he murmured sympathetically.

She sighed and didn't say anything else.

I can't bear to see her in pain. There must be something I can do… "You aren't happy," he stated while studying her, trying to come up with anything that could help.

"I'd be happier if I could reassure them. It's just, I don't like to think that they're worried."

"Reassure them?" Erik asked, focusing on the prospect that she wasn't altogether unhappy being with him.

"If I tell them I'm safe, maybe they will be ok. I'd do anything to ease their minds.

Her words brought him back to reality. "So, what you are saying is that you would lie to them?"

Christine looked up at him. "It's not a lie to tell them I'm safe, is it?"

"No, of course not," Erik replied without hesitation. "I wasn't sure if you thought you were safe, though."

She shrugged. "I know you wouldn't hurt me."

He felt like hugging her in that moment. She finally understood. Softly, he said, "I'm very glad you realize that now." Thinking it over, he made a decision. "If I were to let you communicate with them, would it help?"

Christine gasped. "You would actually let me talk to them?"

Her excitement caused his nerves to increase, but he couldn't deny her, especially when she looked so eager. "In a way, yes. I would let you write a letter, and I would mail it to them."

"A letter?" Christine wasn't too pleased with that. "Why can't I call them, at least?"

"I'm sure police will be monitoring calls, and I cannot risk them finding our whereabouts."

"You mean, they could track the phone we use?"

"Yes, I believe they have the capability." Actually, he wasn't sure they could track a cell phone, but her calling them and talking to them was too risky. What if she were to say the wrong thing? What then?

"But, I want to hear their voices." Simply writing a letter wasn't enough.

Erik had to stay firm. "I'm sorry, but this is the best I can do."

She forced herself to stay calm. Getting angry would probably cause him to change his mind. "Well, how are you going to mail it?"

"We will drive to a post office, and I will drop it off in a mail box.

Leaving the house to find a post office sounded promising. "Ok." Police would see where the letter was mailed from, and then they would be that much closer to finding her. No matter how confused she was right now, going home was still what she wanted most of all.

"Allow me to get you a pen and paper." Erik left the room and came back carrying a clipboard with one sheet of paper and a pen.

"I guess you don't want me writing much," Christine mumbled with a frown.

"A page should be enough." He needed to make sure she understood. "You are writing to reassure them. You aren't going into depth. It needs to be simple and to the point. Alright?"

Nodding reluctantly, she stayed silent and waited for him to leave so that she could have some privacy.

Aware of her actions, he said, "I'm afraid I must stay, Christine."

She watched him carry a chair to the side of her bed and sit down. "You really don't trust me, do you?" It wasn't really a question.

Erik thought about that before saying, "Well, do you trust me? It goes both ways, doesn't it?"

Not wanting to get into yet another intense talk, she shrugged and began thinking of what to write.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I know this letter must come as a surprise. I'm sorry I haven't contacted you both before now. It's not because I haven't wanted to. It's because I have been getting used to the way things are now. I can't go into detail, but please know this- I'm safe. You might find that hard to believe, but it's true. I wish I could explain everything, but I don't have time. Neither of you should worry about me, though. You can trust this. I have to go now, but I want you both to know that I love you. I love you both very much.

Love,

Christine

She was in tears by the end. It was almost unbearably hard not to say 'I miss you both' and 'I wish I could see you'. But, writing those things would contradict her statement of 'I'm safe'. It would probably hurt their feelings, but perhaps that was what needed to happen. If they thought she didn't care to see them or care enough to explain her situation, maybe they'd stop caring. Maybe they'd give up.

That probably would happen. Knowing her parents, they most likely wouldn't even buy that the letter was telling the truth. They would continue to look for her.

Thinking like that wasn't going to do any good, though. Christine would just have to mail the letter, and that would have to be enough.

"Are you finished?" Erik asked hesitantly. He could see that she was crying. He'd read what she'd written while she wrote it. It was perfect, which was relieving. She hadn't revealed anything. Now, the hard part was going to be taking it to a post office.

She nodded. "I guess so."

Feeling the need to reassure her, he whispered, "Don't worry, angel. I will take care of everything."

There was no doubt in Christine's mind that he would, indeed, take care of everything, and that was the worrying part.

At the same time, however, she was getting used to not having a say in anything. That was also worrying.

What if, after everything, she was starting to lose the will to escape?

Yes, she missed the people she cared about. And no, she wasn't happy. But, it seemed like ever since she'd said 'I don't know' to Erik, she was becoming almost complacent. And the letter she just wrote seemed to be confirming that feeling, too.

"Are you ready to go, Christine?" he asked. The sooner they returned, the better.

"Yeah, I'm ready." She wondered how long their drive was going to be. If it lasted hours, things were either going to be incredibly awkward between them, or… perhaps the drive could be interesting, if only they were to engage in an enlightening conversation.

Anything to make this feeling of doubt go away…

Please review! :)

-Lauren