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Chapter Fourteen

December, 1966

It was dark and cold outside, which was why she had decided to wait inside of the grocery store for Billy to arrive. And she waited, and waited, and eventually gave up on waiting when an hour and a half had gone by. She only grew more annoyed when she called his house only for his mother to tell her he'd been out all evening. It wasn't often that she asked him to do something, and now she was reminded why she never relied on him for anything.

He hadn't been her first choice for a ride home either, and that left her with very few options. Sam was at work, and Diego had taken the other car with him to Buck's, which meant her mother had no way to pick her up. Leaving her with the only option of having to call Buck's and hope her brother was sober enough to drive. She was just glad that Diego had pre-emptively given her the number for Buck's.

"Hello." A gruff voice she recognised as Buck's said over the phone.

"Hi, um, is Diego Prescott there?" She asked, "It's his sister."

"He's gone up to the rooms." Buck told her, "Want me to get him for you?"

"No." She said, knowing exactly what her brother was doing in that room, and also not particularly want to ruin his chances of getting laid, even if it was the prerogative of a younger sibling to be a nuisance. "Uh,"

Wracking her brain for any other options, she went through the admittedly short list of people she remembered Diego saying would be there. Stopping at one name in particular, but she wanted to ask for them even less.

"Is Tim Shepard there?"

Even as she said it she regretted it but she didn't have very many choices.

It was a moment before Buck told her yes, and another moment before she heard Tim on the other end.

"Hello."

"Hey, Tim." She said, "So, um, Billy was meant to pick me up from work but he never showed, so I'm stuck here, and Sam's at work, and Diego has the other car so my Ma can't pick me up."

"And?"

"And, I was hoping you might come and get me." She said, feeling as stupid as she knew she sounded, "Look, I know it's asking a lot, but I haven't got too many options."

By the time he finally spoke it felt like an eternity had passed.

"I'll be there soon."

If Rose was uncertain about why he had agreed, then he was completely astounded by his sudden attack of conscience. Anyone else and he would've told them to go to hell, but he knew just how much she loathed asking for anything, and the fact that he was the one she turned to made him oddly proud. Not to mention the slight joy that at her boyfriend's unreliability. All it proved was that he was right, she deserved a hell of a lot better than Billy Taylor.

Still, he'd left a fairly decent party to help her out. As well as giving up the chance of getting any tonight, having had to leave the girl who'd been practically drooling over him. Jenny her name was, or maybe it was Jane, or Joan.

Either way he didn't think about her again once he pulled up, watching as Rose locked up the store before approaching his car. It wasn't like she was dressed in anything special, he thought she had far too many layers on for his liking, her face was free of any makeup and her hair was falling over her shoulders. The sight of her curls sent him crazy, and he was overcome by the sudden urge to wrap one around his finger.

But when she climbed in his face was as stony as ever, and he put a quick end to those thoughts. They wouldn't get him anywhere.

"Thanks for picking me up." She said as he pulled out, and he merely nodded in response, "It was real nice of you."

Uncharacteristically so, but they both knew that. At first she doubted that he would show, but quickly assuaged those concerns. If he said he was coming than he would.

"Why didn't you call your brother?" He asked, and she knew he was really asking why she had asked for him. Skirting around the real question was a habit of his.

"I did." She replied, "Buck told me he went up to the rooms."

"Ha." He said, "So you didn't want stop you brother from getting laid, but you were perfectly fine with stopping me from getting any."

"You were gonna get laid tonight?"

"Yeah, I was. She had a decent rack too, not as good as yours but nice enough." He said, smirking at her, "Why? You jealous?"

Yes, she definitely was, not that she'd ever admit that to him. Rolling her eyes she simply scoffed at the idea. As far as he was concerned, she was over him, and that's what she wanted him to think. Might make it true then.

His silence and focus on the road gave her a moment to study him. Nothing much about him had changed in the two-and-a-half years she'd known. He was just as handsome as ever, and his eyes were just as cold. It was so easy for him to hide what he was feeling, and a part of her envied. But the other, bigger, part knew that cutting oneself off from emotion was no way to live.

She didn't bother to be overly inconspicuous, given that he always seemed to just know when someone was watching him. It was like a sixth sense of his.

"Can I ask you something?" He said suddenly, his voice sounding so uncertain she could've thought it was someone else. Tim was always so sure of himself, never doubting that what he was doing was right. But maybe that, like so much else, was just a part of his mask

"Shoot." She nodded.

"That night," he said. "Winston was the one you were with. Right? He was the asshole."

It took a few seconds for her to process exactly what he was asking her. Nothing had prepared her for the question, and it certainly wasn't what she was expecting. She hadn't thought about Dallas Winston in a long time.

"Yeah," she nodded. "We had sex. He was my first actually."

"Shitty first." Tim muttered.

Rose had to agree with that. If she had to do it all over again she definitely wouldn't have had her first time with Dally.

"Wish it had been you." She admitted, avoiding his questioning glance. "You were next, and you weren't an asshole."

Tim actually grinned at that and she was glad. She hadn't meant to say she wished she'd lost her virginity to him, but if she had it would've been a better experience that's for sure.

"So, Dally, me, Billy," he said, "that's all?"

"Yeah." She replied. "Why?"

"And I was the one you wanted to be your first." He said, with a self-satisfied smile. "Not your boyfriend."

Rose shrugged. "If if I'd waited for Billy, I wouldn't have been with you, and I don't want to take that night back."

"Thought you loved him?"

"So?"

"Ain't you supposed to want to love the guy you lose it to?"

Scowling as she looked at Tim, who seemed just as unhappy about the turn of their conversation even though he'd been the one to direct it. She supposed there was some truth to his question. Most people wanted their first time to be special and preferably with someone they were in love with. Tim wanted to know why she didn't want that, and the truth was she had, once. But how could she explain to him that the night they spent together meant more to her than any time she'd ever been with Billy.

It wasn't that she hadn't enjoying being with Billy, but it wasn't the same. He didn't know her like Tim did. She hadn't wanted him to.

They pulled up in front of her house, but by the look on Tim's face she didn't think she was getting out the car without giving him some kind of answer.

"I didn't love him." She admitted, doing her best to not look at him, whilst his unrelenting gaze was fixed on her, "I don't love him."

"Then why'd you say you did?"

"Maybe because I wanted it to be true." She said, "Everything would've been easier if it was true."

"Easier?" He asked, but she wasn't about to give him anything more. If she didn't leave now she didn't trust where the conversation would go.

"Thanks for picking me up." She muttered, reaching towards the door handle.

She only managed to open the door slightly before Tim had leant over and pulled it shut, leaving his upper body hovering over her. Looking up he met her gaze, and without a second to lose, he captured her lips in a rough kiss. Not that she cared in the slightest, in fact she eagerly returned it. Grasping at his shoulders, she all but whimpered into his mouth. This was all she had wanted, fantasised about, for the last year and a half.

Longing overtook her, as all her senses were filled with him. It seemed like he was as desperate as she was, his lips trailing down her neck, his hands groping at her. But then he attempted to slip them underneath her shirt, and she finally realised exactly what she was doing.

Pushing him away, she felt almost guilty when she saw his confused expression. After all, she had seemed all too eager to reciprocate his advances only seconds prior.

"We can't, Tim, I have a boyfriend." She said, "And even if we're about to break up, he doesn't deserve this."

"The fuck he doesn't." Tim replied, "It's you he doesn't deserve. You deserve better, and you still go back to that fucker."

"I know." She mutttered, looking anywhere but at him, "It's just, easier with him I guess."

And there was that word again. As if any of this was easy.

"How?" He demanded, and she knew he wouldn't accept silence as an answer.

"Because I don't expect anything from him." She blurted, "And if I don't ask him for anything, than he can't disappoint me."

"Shitty way to live." He said, "Thought you were better than that."

"Maybe you thought wrong."

"Maybe I did." He said, his eyes hard as she stared him down, but for once she could see everything behind them. He was angry, and hurt, and jealous. Just like she was. He wanted something he couldn't have. Just like her.

"Why'd you ask for me?" Tim said, and it was a moment before she replied.

"Because I knew that you'd come if I asked you to." Rose said, her own eyes softening as they begun to water. It had been a long time since she'd cried, and she hated that it had to be in front of him.

"I don't love my boyfriend, I never have, and I don't think he loves me anymore." She continued, "We're not even remotely happy together, we just haven't found a reason to leave yet."

"I think I just gave you one."

She wasn't sure if he meant that by kissing her he'd given her an out. It was cheating after all, and Billy could forgive a lot but she somehow didn't think he'd forgive her for making out with Tim. Then there was the other possibility, that he gave her reason because now she had another option.

That was all he said, and by his silence she understood the conversation to be over. Climbing out of the car, she walked up the steps to the porch, taking out her key to open the door. Sparing a glance behind her, she saw Tim watching her, pulling away from the curb once she stepped inside. She knew the events of the night had only confused her further. What Tim didn't want was clear, her with Billy. But what he wanted was a mystery in and of itself. She had already known that her and Billy were headed for a break up, but this had only intensified her resolve. She couldn't keep putting it off, she had to dump her boyfriend.