Okay, bitches, I got a lot to talk about.
First of all: THE COUNTDOWN TO CHRISTMAS will be starting soon so ya'll better hop to Breathoftwilight's profile to check it out on December 1st. There will be a series of one-shots from different authors, including, yours truly. ANOTHER thing, is that they all have lemons in them :) And at the end, there will be a major collaberation piece that I will also have a hand in, as well as amazing writers (all much better than me) lol. So yeah, be sure to check it out and review it!
Second of all: Um, my reviewers for last chapter! Thank you guys so much, you are tryly amazing! Haha, but you love/hate those cliffies, don't ya? Haha.
Third of all: OMG NEW MOON--I saw it again. I know **collective gasp** I saw it twice in..two/three days. Whatever, I'm sure there are worse people out there than me, okay? Like people bad, human-killing vampires :F Anywho..
Fourth: I'm pretty sure there was also something else. Hmm..Um, Durtynelly FINALLY updated Buried Among The Burgonias. I was going fricken insane. I dont know if I've mentioned that in a previous chapter or whatever. It must mean that I'm still pysched. Um, there was seriously something else! OH! If any of you read "The Office", I think you have all read the Epilogue, well I only read it today and I fucking loved it! AWESOME STUFF.
Well, i think thats it. LOVE YOU GUYS! 3
"W-What are you doing here?" I asked breathlessly.
Renee's golden brown locks bounced around her face as she trembled with excitement. Her huge grin spread across her face—her sun-tanned, cheery, ignorant face. I gulped, finally registering the chunk of human standing behind her. My breath caught in my throat. Renee giggled lightly, like a child.
"Finally you answer the door!" she crows, inviting herself past me into my home.
I was numb and I couldn't move. I stared down at their passing feet as they entered. I finally got a hold of my sanity—as little as it was at the moment—and turned to face them, closing the door behind me.
"Uhh...so, why are you here?" I repeated my earlier question.
Renee tended to get side-tracked easily. If I didn't know any better, I'd think she had ADHD. Even though I had gathered enough strength to talk and demand an explanation—it was still difficult to comprehend the fucking enormity of it. Glancing around my apartment—mine and Esme's—Renee had a look of awe sheen her face. I folded my arms across my chest, leaning up against the wall closest to the kitchen as she shrugged out of her jacket, slinging it over one of the dining chairs. She must have just noticed again that I was in the room and she was not alone. She looked back at me and smiled wide.
"It's our anniversary, silly!" she laughed.
Realisation dawned on me. My blood ran cold—I looked away from her face and out the floor-to-roof window. It was a full moon tonight, a tinge of red stained the glow, circling it and emanating an eerie air. I breathed out. He was here. My eyes flicked to Phil who stood off to the side, his hands stuffed in his pockets. Going along with my mother's attitude, it was easy to deduce that she still hadn't figured it the fuck out. Figured out the reason I left home in the first place.
"Oh," was all I could spit out in my state of shock.
Usually, it would have taken a lot more than someone's presence to shut me up or leave me speechless, but every time I thought about him or saw him—or even someone who resembled him—my mind would go blank, as if someone had wiped it clean or coated it in acid, removing every intelligible thought from my conscious. I shuddered slightly before staring down at my feet.
"We thought we should come and visit you for a while, as long as we're in town..." she seemed to realise something then too, as she stepped over to the coffee table and picked up a photo frame with me and Esme in it.
She visibly frowned, squinting her eyes before rolling them and smiling again.
"This is your roommate?" she asked, pointing her index finger to the silver frame.
I nodded and she laughed again, an uneasy laugh, embarrassed.
"Phew, I thought she was your girlfriend or something," she chuckled.
I swallowed loudly, not allowing myself to get angry with her. I was in control. I would stay in control of this fucking situation. She smiled fondly then placed the picture back on the glass table, leaving it face-down. I bit my lip as she surveyed my living arrangements. She rubbed her hands together, clasping them in front of her as she gazed around the room.
"You have a beautiful home, Bella. I'm so proud." She commended.
I smiled bitterly. Four years of no contact and this is what she says and does? If I wanted her to speak to me at all, the only words I would want to hear from her fucking mouth were that she was leaving Phil and that she was sorry for what he did. But most of all, she was sorry that she didn't know her daughter well enough to see it.
"It is," Phil concurred.
I tried to keep my breathing even. The mother fucker had no right to come in here and praise me on my beautiful home and/or have any opinion on my life whatsoever. Him being here, in my living space, my sanctuary—it felt like just another violation. Wherever I went, whether it was hiding at a friend's house two miles from home back in Phoenix, or two thousand, in another state—he would always find a way to taint it. For once in my life—I didn't know if I could handle this alone. I made an admission to myself at that moment.
I needed Edward.
"How long will you be here for?" he asked, attempting to keep my voice strong and indifferent.
I also had to keep my eyes on my mother—at least she wasn't such a vile sight to behold.
Still.
I sighed, long and heavy as she counted in her head the days. Her nose scrunched up as if she smelled something bad, but was internally calculating something that should only take a few seconds to work out. She was always a bit limited in the intelligence category. No wonder, she couldn't even get into a community college.
"Um, about three days, at most." She smiled, warmly, walking towards me and pulling me into a tight hug.
I frowned at the feel of her frame against mine. Her ribs protruded from her skin like a picket fence, as I looked closer, her face was paler than usual, not as pale as mine, but still pale nonetheless. Her cheeks were sallow and gaunt, her eyes held unhealthy looking purple bags under them—possibly from sleepless nights or maybe malnutrition. That puzzled me more than anything about her—even though she was a little scatter-brained, she always, and I mean always took care of herself. She ate right, mostly organic even if it was extremely costly. She exercised profusely too, but not too much that it would have a more negative effect than a positive one. I hugged her back, however. She may have been oblivious, and I resent her for that—but there was a sick part of me, one that still ached for her affection, anything to remind me of how someone out there did in fact love me. If only a little bit. She pulled back and put her palm to my cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
I struggled out of her hold then, growing uncomfortable under the contact. Mother or not, I decided then, she still did nothing and I wasn't about to forgive her.
"Where are you staying?" I said, distantly, avoiding her eyes now.
"A hotel up the road." Phil interjected before my mother could speak.
I gnashed my teeth together and stared up at Renee then, instead of acknowledging Phil. An aspect of their arrival had me confused.
"Wait, it's eleven at night, why are you here so late?" I questioned, taking another step back only to swerve into the kitchen and occupy myself with browsing through the fridge.
"Well," Renee began, giddily.
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I encountered some Gatorade. It didn't have the edge I would have liked, but then I didn't want to offer my 'guests' anything of value.
"We were going to wait until tomorrow. You weren't home when we first arrived, see. So, Phil and I checked into the hotel. Phil suggested that we should see if you were home—we found out your address from that old bar you used to work at—" "Laurent's," I provided. "Yes!" she said, clapping her hands together.
I grabbed the three bottles of red liquid and placed them on the counter, motioning with my hand for them to take one. If I hadn't have offered them anything, my mother would have asked anyway.
So, I got it over and done with before I would have to speak to Phil to ask what he wanted.
I didn't have the fucking stomach to do such a thing.
"Yes, Laurent's," my mother continued.
"He told us where he last remembered you lived, he had to send you your last pay-check or something."
I sighed and nodded—peeved that she had brought that place up again after I had successfully trumped all those memories into my subconscious. The same I did with...other...memories, unpleasant ones.
"So, we came here but then you weren't at home so we went back," I almost groaned at her play-by-play.
She always hedged subjects, never getting straight to the mother fucking point which I fucking hated. I closed my eyes tightly and rubbed my forehead before taking a swig of my drink and focussing back on her babbling form.
"Then Phil said that you were probably at work and that you should be home around now," she continued. I nodded along absently.
"Phil offered to come here by himself, just to check you were back while I was in the shower," she said.
My head snapped up and inexplicably found the target of the conversation. Phil was watching me, his face mostly blank. He could have come here by himself—then what would have happened? I tore my eyes from him and landed them back on Renee who had not stopped talking.
"So, he came by, and yet again, you weren't here." She said, exasperated at that little inconvenience.
"Then after that, we decided to try one more time and here you are!" she crowed cheerfully.
I wonder if she detected the disgust on my face. If I hadn't stopped and taken the time to talk to Edward before leaving, I could have been home on time for Phil's solo visit. I swallowed loudly and tried not to dwell on the 'what if's'. But it was impossible not to. What if I hadn't said 'I love you' to Edward? I would have been here earlier--with Phil. I couldn't bring myself to regret saying it, then. It was possibly the smartest thing I've done so far in life, that, and when I left Phoenix for Forks.
I quickly banished that train of thought before it could result in a flood of more memories, impossibly more unpleasant than the memories I kept locked away back in Phoenix. More unpleasant, because they were so good, and thinking about them, thinking about what I lost, was more painful. I wish I had Edward here—as a rock, something to hold onto while I faced these people. It sounded weak...but then...I had done things mostly on my own for my entire life. And as much as I hated admitting defeat, I knew that I was defeated right now—without him.
"That's, uh, quite a story...Mom." I managed to get out between clenched teeth.
I picked at the hem of my shirt, catching a frayed edge and staring at it studiously as I considered what to say next. Luckily, Renee's boisterous energetic nature overcame that obstacle for me when she began talking again. Ability to engage in conversation was a trait we did not share.
"Anyways, it's been busy back home. I wish you could visit more often..." she trailed off.
I cringed at the thought of that ever happening. She turned to me with mock-insult.
"If I didn't know any better, Isabella, I'd say you were trying to avoid your poor mother." She grinned—well, she wasn't far off. It wasn't her in particular I wanted to avoid.
I smiled weakly anyway.
"It's been too long since we've spoken and I've missed you so much," she went on, a slight tremble in her voice.
Phil walked over to her—which was a little too close to me, for my liking, so I moved away a tad—and softly caressed her shoulder in a show of comfort. I felt the severe urge to grab a carving knife—they were so close, just mere inches away, in the second draw on the left. But what would that do to me? I knew I was a fucking bitch, but as a person, it would give me even more problems than I already had. Taking someone's life, if that's what it was that he had, was still a little hard to comprehend—especially by my own hands. My hand fell limply to my side at their display of affection—Renee's: Genuine and love-filled. Phil's: Mocking, fake and cheesy.
I threw my empty bottle into the trash and decided that now was the best time to get them the fuck out of here.
"Well, it's nice to see you, Mom. But, I have to get to bed now..." I took a deep breath and faked looking exhausted so they would leave me the fuck alone.
"I'm just...exhausted." I smiled weakly before walking to the door and holding it open for them.
"Okay, honey. We'll be around tomorrow night, though. We're going out to dinner!" she cheered, clapping her hands together again.
A habit of hers it seemed.
Phil followed behind her, helping her into her coat before grabbing his in his hand. I waited at the door, my hand on my hip as I watched them come closer. Renee reached the door frame and leaned over to give me another fierce hug which I meekly returned. She smiled warmly, rubbing my arm before moving out. Phil came after her—he glanced at me from the corner of his eye, a sickening glint behind his blue irises that had me clutching the wood for support.
"It was lovely seeing you again, Bella. Honey." He said, adding on the extra pet name as if to torment me.
I wouldn't sleep well tonight—and I think he knew that.
The minute they were out of the door, I picked up the phone.
EPOV
I was in desperate need to see Bella again. I hadn't realised what my hesitation had looked like to her. She had pretty much admitted it—that she loved me and I had stood there, silent like a dumb fuck. I grumbled to myself, brooding in my bar stool as Esme handed out free drinks. The night was incredibly slow—hardly anyone. It was just Rose walking the stage tonight. Esme had even sent Jess and Tanya home already. I wished—even though I knew she was tired—that she had made Bella stay back tonight. At least then, she'd be with me—if only inconspicuously.
I smiled into my glass as I thought about what we did on this very bar.
I licked my lips, setting my glass back down on the glossy wood where she had laid on her back—giving herself to me. That was the moment I knew it—that she was more than just to fill the desire. She wasn't the journey, she was the destination. I didn't need her to get where I wanted, or who I wanted. Because, it was her. She was where I wanted to be.
I sighed wistfully like a love-sick little fucking teen.
Felix, beside me, nudged my elbow with his, an inquisitive look in his doe eyes. I quirked an eyebrow, lazily.
"What's up with you--" Hiccup. "—Newbie?" he asked.
I smirked at the nickname Bella had created. Looks like it spread. I shook my head in mock-indignation. Felix chuckled.
"Nothing," I answered with a sigh.
He snorted in response.
"Sure," he shrugged, being sarcastic. "I'm sure it's absolutely nothing that has you awake at night. Nothing that's taken the stick out of your ass that's been there since you started here. And," he lowered his voice to a whisper so only I could hear his words.
"I'm sure it's nothing that's got you panting after someone you work with." He winked.
My mouth fell open. Did he know...? Did Bella tell him?
"How did you..." I started, disbelieving and a little shocked. Nobody else knew about us—however, apparently, Rose and Jess were very close to working it out.
Felix laughed throatily and deep. He shook his head before sculling the last drop of his drink. He stood up from his stool then, smacking a few dollar bills on the counter for Esme before he stopped next to me and leant down to whisper.
"I can see it in your eyes." He said, conspiratorially.
I frowned and he just chuckled, knowingly as he walked off. I closed my mouth and glanced back at Esme and Demetri who didn't seem perturbed by Felix's unusual behaviour. I leaned back on the bar with my elbows, playing with my glass, swirling the amber liquid around in the bottom. I watched my reflection ripple in the whiskey. My phone vibrated, bringing me out of my pre-occupation with my drink. I sighed, reaching into my pocket. The caller I.D said Esme—it was her home number, which could only mean it was Bella. I frowned and stood up from my seat, fleeing to somewhere private.
"Hey, what's up?" I answered, turning off the darkened corridor into the men's room.
"Uh, hey," she responded.
Alarms immediately went off in my brain at the tone of voice she used.
"What's wrong?" I demanded lowly.
She breathed deeply into the receiver, making it her voice crackle through the phone.
"I just...I...need to...be with you right now." She confessed.
I sighed out in relief.
"Jesus, Bella, you scared me. I thought you were in trouble or something," I breathed, feeling my heart through my chest.
"Sorry," she mumbled almost unintelligibly.
I bit my lip, scratching the back of my head with my other hand.
"I think I can get Esme to let me go for the night—it's dead around here." I told her, staring at the door.
"Oh, yeah?" she said timidly.
I breathed out slowly.
"I really want to see you." I murmured forlornly.
Who was I kidding anymore? I was as whipped as the next fucker. And, I couldn't have cared less. I was already desperate for her touch again—I had been with her around an hour or two ago, and already it felt like she had been gone for days.
I could hear the smile in her voice when she responded then.
"When?" she asked. "Just come over to my place, okay? I don't..." she sighed. "I don't to fucking be alone."
I nodded, knowing she couldn't see me.
"I'll be over as soon as I can." I told her.
The phone went dead—something about her tone, her vulnerability just set off something inside my head. I stalked back out to the bar where Esme was chatting mutely with one of three customers that were here tonight. I gave her a quick excuse, that a friend of mine needed me to jump their car. She nodded and shrugged, not really caring for the moment. I nodded and practically ran to my car.
~~~___~~~
"Bella?" I called through her front door, knocking on the wood as I waited impatiently for her to let me in.
I knocked again, harder and more hastily. I listened, nothing but silence on the other side of that door. Fear trickled down to the pit of my stomach. Fuck being inconspicuous. I turned the knob, ready to bust down that mother fucker—but it opened fine. I swore under my breath. Hadn't I told her to lock her doors at night?
"Fuck, Bella," I hissed, closing the door and locking it behind me.
I was met with a dark, empty apartment. You could hear a pin drop. I made my way to her bedroom—she was lying there on her back, her legs and arms spread out across the comforter. I choked on my own fear—staggering forward and grasping her limp body with trembling hands.
"Bella! Bella!" I shook her.
Her eyelids fluttered open and she stared up at me with a frown on her face.
"Do you know you almost gave me a mother fucking heart attack?" I yelled.
She shrank back against the mattress, staring at me like I was deranged. Perhaps I was. But with good reason.
"Shit. Sorry." She muttered, rigidly.
I sighed, sitting down next to her.
"I thought you had been..." I trailed off, shaking my head.
"Do you know you left your door unlocked?" I asked, holding my hand out to the living room.
Her eyes widened and she sat up, tucking her hair behind her ear. She swallowed loudly. I felt bad, I had just been an intrusive ass. Maybe I overreacted too much. With an apologetic sigh, I pulled her to me, circling her shoulders with my arms.
"Do you want to tell me what's going on?" I asked, already knowing her answer.
"No." She said simply.
I nodded against her hair, laying a kiss there. She moved her face up to meet mine, pressing her lips to me. I gladly took them. She sighed contently, grazing her finger tips up my shoulders and pulling my jacket from my shoulders. I let her pull it off and throw it to the carpeted floor. I kicked my shoes off as she pushed me backwards with a shove to my chest.
"Fuck, you're so sexy when you do that," I hissed.
She grinned smugly, the sound of my jeans unzipping echoed through the silent space. My breathing hitched. I arched my back, letting Bella remove my pants as I pulled my shirt off. Bella straddled my hips and began slowly unbuttoning her blouse. I watched, licking my lips and groaning. She looked too fucking good. She slipped the fabric off her shoulders, dropping it off the edge of the bed and shaking her hair out. She leaned down, placing a hand on the bed, either side of my head. I reached my hands behind her, tracing the column of her spine. She gasped, and shuddered at my touch. I fucking loved it. The glowing moonlight bathed her body in an iridescent, scarlet glow. I stared at her beautiful body in awe—amazed that she, so easily, shared it with me.
She moved her lips to my ear, grazing her teeth against the lobe. I hissed, my hands hooking under the strap of her bra and unclasping it. I threw it off the bed, revealing her supple breasts—the flesh puckered. I moaned, cupping them in my hands. They fit perfectly in my palms. She breathed heavily against my skin, covering my hands with hers, pressing them harder against her chest. Fuck. I pushed her off my lap and onto her back. She laughed—beautifully melodic, an attribute of a woman I had hardly taken into account in the past. I let my hands trail heat down her torso, hovering over her hips before pulling her jeans down to reveal some fucking hot lace panties. I groaned, biting my lip as she gazed up at me with hooded eyes. She propped herself up on her elbows as I leaned down, trailing a line of kisses down her stomach. I felt her hands twine through my hair, coaxing me further. Fuck, I fucking wanted to go further. She hummed underneath me, her skin was soft, fragrant—it smelt like Bella.
My previous irritation and concern had dissipated—consumed by the almighty desire growing between our bodies. My cock was fucking aching to be inside her—it was almost whimpering. I nipped the skin just below her naval, tasting her. I tugged on the waist band of the red lace with my teeth, pulling on them. She lifted her ass off the bed so I could tug them all the way down her thighs. I let them fall from her ankles as her hold on my hair tightened in anticipation. I smiled up at her before nudging her swollen clit with my tongue. She flinched and moaned at the slight contact. I licked my lips, savouring the taste of her. I slid my tongue between her slippery folds.
"Oh, fuck, Edward!" she wailed. Her hips moved off the bed, closer to my face. I circled her entrance with my tongue, lapping her moisture like it was the substance of life. I caressed her hips tightly, my fingers digging in.
"You taste so fucking amazing," I moaned into her.
She gasped.
"Fuck, you're so good at this!" she breathed in a high-pitched voice.
I chuckled then flicked my tongue out again to touch her clit. She groaned as I slipped two fingers inside her heated core. She whimpered, thrusting her hips towards me. I growled, unable to hold back—my cock twitched, ready to fucking combust if I didn't fuck her right then.
"Do you want me inside you?" I growled at her, crawling up her body until my tip nudged her entrance.
She groaned in response.
"Fucking hell!"
I ran my tongue between her peaks and up her neck. I licked her bottom lip before taking it between mine.
"You're so wet, so fucking hot, Bella." I whispered into her mouth.
Her tongue met mine in a frenzy of hunger and lust. Her hand slid between our bodies, grasping my cock. I growled into her neck, biting the flesh there. She whimpered but squeezed her fist.
"Fuck, Bella."
I propped her legs up so they rested on my shoulders. I leaned down, pushing my dick inside her. We both groaned in unison.
She was so tight around me, it was almost impossible not to cum before I even started thrusting. I had to get a grip first before I could start pumping her hot pussy. I moved in and out of her with ease, her soaking core was better than lube.
"Edward, Edward!" she said in breathless pants.
"God, I'm gonna fucking cum," I snarled, bracing myself.
"Cum, Bella. Cum with me. I want you to cum for me again." I ordered.
She writhed in pleasure beneath me, so close to fucking coming apart.
"I'm so close, Edward...just a little more...I'm so close!" she cried desperately.
"Don't hold back, baby." I told her. "Fucking cum!"
Just as the words slipped out of my mouth, her walls clenched around my cock. I swore furiously at the sensation. She convulsed in a fit of ecstasy, crying my name out between clenched teeth. I panted, my teeth gritting as I came inside her. I groaned, letting her legs slide off my shoulders and slowly lowering myself on top of her. I rolled onto my back with her against my chest, panting and sweating.
"Jesus," I muttered, running my hand through my hair.
Bella shook with laughter against me. I smirked.
"Bella?" Esme called from the living room.
My eyes bulged out of my head. Bella shot up out of bed, naked and standing in the middle of her bedroom. She bit her lip frantically before realising I was still here. I sat up quickly and retreated to the bathroom, kicking my clothes along with me.
"Uh, in here." Bella said nervously.
I bit down on my fist to keep from laughing.
"I was just, going to take a shower..." she said, only just coming up with that excuse.
"Oh, okay, well, goodnight." Esme said, a smile clear in her voice.
I heard Bella's bedroom door close with a gentle thud. I rocked on the balls of my feet, waiting for her to enter. I eyed the floor length mirror I stood in front of. The door opened and the light flickered on. Bella smiled at me before walking over, letting her robe drop—she must have found one for Esme's sake.
I smiled, calculating, before I grasped her shoulders and turned her around to face us in the mirror. I walked her forward so she could reach it with her hands. I rested my chin on her shoulder as I stared at her, my arms wrapped around her petite waist. The image was so fucking sexy, so irreplaceable. I grew harder then, inhaling deeply, running my nose along her jaw. Her arm bent around her so her hand could grab a fistful of my hair. I growled into her neck, nipping her again then licking and sucking her sweet skin.
A familiar flush spread over her body, colouring it. My hand came around her waist to cup her breast. I played with her nipples, teasing them as her breaths became shallow pants. She grabbed my hand and leaned her other against the mirror. She guided our hands down her stomach, finding her folds, slick with moisture once again. She bit her lip and stared at me then, something dark and wanton in her eyes. I pressed my hardened cock against her ass. She gasped quietly. I leaned her other hand against the mirror, pulling her ass back a bit further and grasping her hips tightly in my hands. I watched us the entire time as I thrust into her hot centre again with total abandon.
Her head was bobbing up and down with each thrust, her hair swaying and her tits bouncing. I was fucking mesmerised by such a beautiful creature. I snaked my hand around her front again, sliding down to her sensitive mound and rubbing it as I came close to losing it. I wanted her to fall apart first. She began to shudder and tighten, her eyes boring into mine as she completely lost it. She bit down hard on her lip, gasping and whimpering slightly as she seized around me. I buried my face between her shoulder blades, kissing and licking before I blew my load inside her again. I shuddered, exploding my hot cum inside her walls. I pulled out of her, wrapping my arms back around her limp body. She couldn't move and she was weak and struggling to walk. I cleaned up and had her back in her room. I sighed as I stared down at her. She was dressed in some shorts and a band t-shirt. Guns n Roses. I smirked and leaned down to kiss her on the nose. She smiled sleepily. I had my head propped up on my hand, leaning on my elbow.
I was laying next to her on my side, watching her doze off.
"God, I fucking love you."