A/N: I'm sorry it took so long but I started my new job last week and it kept me fairly busy. I didn't want the chapter to end where it does but I didn't have time for more and I didn't want to let you wait any longer. Don't hate me... I think it's pretty obvious. Enjoy :)

Maura was rushing through her house at what felt like the middle of the night; hastically gathering everything she'd need at the conference that was scheduled to start tomorrow noon. A couple of years ago she probably would've thrown some clothes in her suitcase without worrying but she couldn't afford to do that now. Most of the people might know her or have at least heard of her.

Queen of The Dead, she thought and smiled to herself for a second.

She certainly had a reputation to lose and the last thing she needed was people asking questions because of that sudden change while she was trying to get some order back into her life. She walked intp her closet and chose a few matching outfits for the early lectures; ignoring the fact that she was only staying for three days. She also chose two different dresses for the evening.

You can never know, she thought and paused at that thought. Who was she hoping to meet? Usually the company at such events wasn't that great; nothing that might draw her interest. She knew that no one could change her feelings for Jane; not even Tony did after all these years. She took the dresses nonetheless and arranged it all neatly in her suitcase, hoping that it wouldn't be entirely messed up along the way. She grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a plain shirt along the way just to be should never underestimate the value of comfort clothes. Maybe she might just spent the evenings on her own in her hotel room. It might give her some time to herself even thought that thought made her feel frustrated and lonely at the same time. She sighed and walked back into the living room. For once she had hoped that everything might turn out the way it had been planned but she shouldn't have been surprised when it didn't. She still hadn't talked to Jane since their little encounter in the elevator. She took a deep breath at the short-lived memory and sat down on a nearby chair, aware of the tension in her body. She was longing to go back there; she wanted to feel Jane's body pressed against hers, her lips crushing on her own. She wanted Jane's hands on her body, wanted to feel them on every inch of her naked body. She was aching to feel her, to listen to her soft moans of plessure while her hot breath was tingling on her neck, causing her to lose her mind. She had heard that sweet sound only briefly but in her imagination, it was all there. She'd lie saying she had never thought about it when she was awake during a long and lonely night but it just wasn't enough. She wanted to feel it; she wanted to feel her.

She inhaled sharply and closed her eyes for a second, trying to ignore the overwhelming aching need and went to her desk to make sure she had all the paperwork she needed. She had planned on talking to Jane the morning after the kiss but there had been a new case that kept them all busy ever since and she'd hardly seen Jane around. She knew a part of it was still her fault because she could've walked up to the Homicide Department and face Jane but she was dreading it as much as she wanted it to happen. It made her angry that she had been so foolish but she was still afraid of the things that might happen. She tried hard not to think of any consequences should she not talk to Jane any time soon. She finally closed her suitcase and was glad that she was about to leave, even just for three days. Her substitute had been arranged for the time being and she had no intention in changing that because of their new case. With an on-going feeling of nervousity and insecurity she was looking forward to returning to Washington DC. She won't get to see much of the city but that wasn't what she was planning to do anyways. She would finally meet Abby again and although she was a little afraid of her reactions, she knew that she had to go and see her. She, after all, deserved to know the truth. Maura thought that she would eventually understand. She knew that the last word between her and Gibbs hadn't been spoken and she'd have to face Tony again. She couldn't leave him in the dark; she didn't want him to hope that there might be something between them. There had been something, years ago. She wouldn't deny that but things had changed and the tiny sparkles and the excitement of what might be one day had long been gone. It probably hadn't been fair to kiss him just because she needed to know, but she did and she knew Tony long enough to be sure that he might get over it after a while.

She would see the place where she once worked, wondering how many things had changed or if the place still looked the same way it had back then. She suddenly felt nostalgic, remembering the time she'd been sitting behind her desk trying to solve murders. Now she was the weird one in the basement, talking to the dead ones. She nearly laughed at that thought; she liked her job or as much as there was to like about it but a part of her never stopped asking.

What if?

There were days she missed the weight of her gun on her hip; that slight feeling of security it gave her. The heavy feeling of cold metall in her hands when she was about to use it. The feeling of putting together the pieces; the way it all seemed to match one by one. She missed that feeling and though she was still a part of solving crimes, it felt different. The thrill she had always felt when she was about to interrogate a suspect, knowing she would get what she want. The way her heart hammered against her chest when she was running as fast as her body would allow to chase a suspect. She was thinking of a time in which it'd been fairly inappropriate to wear high heels at a crime scene. Gibbs probably would've made her run a 10k with them just to teach her a lesson.

She walked through her empty house and made sure that all windows and doors were properly closed; pausing when she walked by the couch. She reached between two cushions and pulled Jane's hoddie out. She sat down on the couch and held it with both hands.

How did it get there and how long has it been there without her noticing it. Knowing Jane, she probably didn't miss it but it was just a reminder of how different her life had been the last few weeks. She hadn't even noticed it.

Maybe Jane left it the night she found out who I was, Maura thought about it but she couldn't remember what Jane was wearing. She tried to resist the urge of calling Jane now, got up and walked into the bathroom. She had to be at the airport by 9am and and she still had to go to the morgue to get a folder that she accidentally left there after running into Jane. She had completely forgotten about it but she needed it and would drop by before driving off to the airport. She had no idea what they were dealing with at the moment, she didn't know any details considering there were any by now. She wasn't assigned to the case so she had no idea what Jane was up to and she didn't want to wake her in case she had to get up early and she knew that something like that didn't get along too well with Jane.

Minutes later she stepped into the shower; forgetting about the world and anything else for a while. She closed her eyes; the hot water pouring down her body; taking away all her doubts and fears for a while. She tried to focus on the relieving feeling, tried to focus on herself and every inch of her body. She was there and this is who she is; she knew it. She knew she was right where she is, she had found her place and she wouldn't give it up for anything in the world. She'd used the next three days just for herself and try to clear her thoughts and return to Boston and face it all the way she should've days ago. She had let them rule her life once and she couldn't let that happen again. She remained in the shower longer then she usually did and felt the fatigue washing over her in the end. She slowly dried her hair and got ready for bed; moving slow and deliberate while she felt her eyes getting heavy with sleep. By the time she go to her bedroom all she wanted to do was crash on her bed and fall asleep. She didn't feel cold but put Jane's hoodie on nonetheless. It didn't fit too well; it was a bit to big but all the more cuddly and comforting. She laid down on her bed and slowly drifted of to sleep. The hoodie still smelled like Jane.

"Where the hell is Maura?" Jane asked and looked around, it was definitely too early to be awake; let alone be at a crime scene and wait for something to happen. The last thing she expected and needed at her crime scene was that old man who she'd met a while ago while he took care of some of Maura's autopsies and degraded her skills along the way and annoyed the hell out of both of them with his stupid behavior.

Jane turned around and looked at Korsak and pointed at the ME but he just shrugged.

"What are you doing here?" Jane asked him and didn't bother to hide her aversion for this man.

"Dr. Isles left for a conference in Washington this morning. I will take care of everything for her until she returns," he said without looking up and even the way he put on the latex gloves drove Jane crazy.

"She... she's gone?" Jane asked and turned around and Frost nodded. "You knew?"

"Didn't you?" he asked and cleared his throat. "Sorry, I thought you did."

"No," Jane answered and sighed.

"I think she wanted to tell you," Frost said before Jane asked another question. He knew it probably hurt Jane that her friend didn't tell her she was leaving although things had been a little difficult recently. "But... you know..." he didn't know what else was left to say. It wasn't his business and he knew it wasn't easy for Jane at the moment.

"Yeah," she said and turned around. "It's okay," she said more to herself and took a deep breath to take care of the crime scene and get away from here and have a decent cup of coffee. It wasn't even 8am and she didn't get much sleep the past nights, she wanted to get over and done with it as soon as possible.

It was a little before eight in the morning when Maura walked through the main entrance of the Police Department and heard Angela talking in the coffee while she waited for the elevator. She wanted to turn around and say hello but she hadn't got much time left and she didn't feel quite ready for that too. She walked through the autopsy room and into her office, registering much to her pleasure that nothing had changed yet. He probably hadn't been in yet; she took the folder from her desk and closed the door when she left. She turned around and again and decided to lock it up. It was her office after all and she didn't want anyone in there while she was gone; she didn't want him sitting in her chair. He could do the paperwork some place else.

She left the morgue and went straight to the Homicide Department and found most of the desk unoccupied. She nodded to a detective she recognized but didn't remember his name and sat down in Jane's chair, her arms leaning on the desk. She stared at the empty screen of Jane's computer for a moment and rearranged a few things here and there before she took a piece of paper and a pen. She wanted to let Jane know that she would be back in three days and that they'd talk to each other then.

And I want to let you know that I miss you and that I want to be with you, she thought but she couldn't write it down. She thought about it for a second and remembered a few words she's heard ages ago. For a moment she thought that Jane might hate it, she was sure Jane would have laughed about it had she told her about these words referring to someone else. She took a deep breath and and wrote the words down. When she was done, she folded the paper once and put it on Jane's keyboard to make sure she'd find it and left.

It was about nine o'clock when Jane walked into the Homicide Department and the first thing she did was getting some coffee, knowing that she'd regret it in a second but she needd a bit of time to herself before she felt ready to face her mother and get a decent cup of coffee downstairs.

"Dr. Isles was here earlier," Jackson said when he spotted her and she turned around.

"When?"

"About an hour ago," he said and hated him for not spilling it all at once.

"And?" she asked and sipped her coffee that tastes way too old.

"Sat down in your chair... don't ask me," he said before she had a chance to open her mouth. "What she was doing there!"

She put the cup of coffee aside and walked to her desk. A short smile flashed her lips when she found her desk looking pretty neatly arranged.

She just can't help it, she thought and sat down in her chair. It was just a thing Maura did; constantly trying to get some order into her life. Even if it was just tidying her desk; that hadn't changed at all. She took the folded piece of paper that was left on her keyboard and opened it. She stared at the words written in black ink and felt herself coming near to tears. She folded the paper again before she looked at the rest of the words and left; she needed a quiet place to read. She couldn't do it here. The only place she could think of was the ladie's room at the other side of the building. No one ever used it because there weren't many women working at the Police Department and no one ever bothered going that far. She entered the empty staircase and walked down without paying attention to anyone who crossed her way. Two minutes later she entered the ladies room and found it empty, just as she'd expected it. She walked to the end of the room and sat down on the toilet seat after looking the door. She leaned back and propped her feet up against the door. She took a deep breath and unfolded the paper again.

"Never shall I forget the days I spent with you,

continue to be my friend,

as you will always find me yours."

Dear Jane,

I'll be back in about three days. I really need to talk to you; sorry I couldn't tell you in person.

Love,

Maura

P.S.: I miss you.

Jane stared at the words and felt the tears burning in her eyes. She wiped them away with the back of her hand and read it again. It was the sweetest and most touching thing someone had told her in a very long while. I miss you.

The last words weren't as neatly written as the others and something told her that she'd added them at last notice. She closed her eyes and leaned back and suddenly it hit her; she knew what would be the right thing to do. She missed her too; more then she ever thought she would. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and wiped the last tears away; her mother would notice no matter what but she didn't have time for it now. She walked out of the ladies room and put the letter in the pocket of her jeans and walked down to the coffee to get a coffee from her mother.

"Hey mum," she said before Angela had a chance to speak. "I need some good coffee," Jane told her and sat down at one of the tables.

"What's going on, sweetheart?" Angela asked and put the coffee in front of Jane.

Dammit, Jane thought and sipped the coffee that tasted a lot better then the one she'd tried upstairs.

"Nothing," Jane answered and tried to avoid her mother's glance; knowing that it was a worthless try.

"You been crying?" Angela asked.

"Shhhh," Jane said and urged her mother to be quiet. "I'm fine."

"Yeah, cause you look so good..."

"Thanks," Jane said dryly.

"Where's Maura?" Angela asked. She hadn't seen her around a lot recently.

"She's okay," Jane said.

"That's not what I asked, I've hardly seen her around lately."

"Tell me about it," Jane said more to herself.

"Honey, you sure you okay?" Angela asked again and put a hand over her daughters.

"I don't know," Jane admitted after a few seconds of silence. What was there left to hide? She thought, she'd find out sooner or later. "It's... a little complicated," Jane said. "I... I gotta go," Jane said.

"Where are you going?" Angela wanted to know when Jane got up.

"I'm not so sure right now," she answered honestly. "I'll tell you everything when I'm back," she said and leaned forward to kiss her mum on the cheek. "Don't worry, I'll be fine." She looked at her daughter until she was out of sight and wondered what the hell was going on this time.

"Frost?" Jane asked when she walked back into the Homicide Department.

"Over here," he said and looked up from behind his screen.

"I need you to do me a favour," she said and sat down on the edge of his desk.

"What do you want?"

"Can you hack into a computer for me?" she asked and smiled at him innocently. He raised an eyebrow at her and asked: "Would that computer happen to be Dr. Isles'?"

"Maybe..." Jane said without looking at him.

"I'm not so sure she'd like that..."

"None of your business, I'll deal with that later," she said. "Please, I just need to know something."

"Gimme a second," he said and took a deep breath, trying not to smile at her. About five minutes later, he handed her a slip of paper that had an address written on it. She took it with a questioning look on her face.

"I didn't tell you..." she said and looked at the address written down. It was the time and place of the conference in Washington.

"I figure you might want to know that..." he said.

"Well... thank you," she said and walked to her desk to get her jacket. "I... I need to leave," she said and walked back to Frost desk. "You think you can do that without me?" she asked; she'd never left an on-going investigation before if she hadn't been forced to do so but this time was different.

"You wanna leave in the middle of a case?" Frost asked and leaned back in his chair.

"It's... important."

"Was about time," Frost said and smiled at Jane.

"What?"

"You heard me," Frost said. "It was about time... just go. I'll tell them... you're not feeling well. Whatever, just go."

"Thank you," she said and thought about giving him a hug but changed her mind at the last moment. "I owe you one."

"I'll keep that in mind," he said and she turned around to leave.

"Oh, Jane," he called after her and she turned around.

"Yes?"

"Tell Dr. Isles to change her passwords. That one was pretty predictable," he said and she laughed when she left.