And we always seem to need the help
Of someone else
To mend that shelf
Too many books
Read me your favorite line

Addison quietly shuffled down the stairs. Her bare feet making little noise on the wooden stairs. She knew she was late and more than half the cookies were probably gone.

"What took you so long Addison?"

Nancy smiled as she sat on one side of the long kitchen table. Around her were her sisters each in their pajamas and glass of milk in front of them.

"I haven't had a good nights sleep in ages so excuse me for resting. Babies come at all hours of the night you know."

She smiled and took a seat at the table. A glass of milk already in front of her.

"So what's the juicy gossip?"

Her eyes batted from side to side as she glanced at each sister for a moment.

No one spoke.

"Well, we were actually waiting for you on that gossip Addison," Carol gave a smirk before continuing, "How's the dating scene?"

Addison groaned but continued to smile, "Come off it. You know I'm not talking about any of that stuff."

She rolled her eyes as each of them made pleading faces to her, "No…I mean, what if mom wakes up?"

"You know once she sleeps like a log. And knowing all her children are under one roof means she is going to have an even better nights sleep. You've got nothing to worry about," Nancy reassured, "Now dish."

Addison sighed, "Well there is this one guy. He's completely different from everything I know. And the relationship is probably doomed from the start because we both have so much baggage but somehow it just feels right."

A collective awe was heard from the group of women.

"He makes you happy right Add?"

"Yeah, and I haven't felt that way in a long time. I honestly thought I'd never feel anything after Derek but it always hits you when you least expect it. Or the person you least expect. I mean, he's a vet for god sake."

Addison abruptly stopped as she heard a sound at the entrance of the kitchen. Meredith had dropped her glass.

"You are dating Finn!"

She wasn't sure if Meredith's voice was more upset or irritated. She fiddled with her hands for a moment taking in the awkward situation.

"That's none of your business," Karen said quickly after taking note of Addison's expression, "We're talking as a family here and it is none of your concern."

Meredith shuffled her feet and picked up the glass.

"I only needed some water anyways. I'm heading back up."

Addison glanced at Nancy and saw that grin on her face. The one that always spelled trouble.

"Karen. That was so harsh. You heard what mom said earlier," she turned towards Meredith and gave her a gentle smile. One that would surly rope her in.

"Why don't you join us Meredith?"

Meredith fumbled with the tap.

"I'm actually really tired. I had a long shift before we left for here…and…"she was cut off by Nancy again.

"We all work Meredith. But this is Christmas. Sit and relax."

She motioned to the empty chair.

Meredith still looked hesitant of putting herself into enemy territory.

"I'm sorry Meredith. I shouldn't have been so rude. I mean, Derek would like you to get to know his sisters. We're all a part of his life."

Addison could tell that last comment had done it for Meredith. This was Derek's family after all, offering themselves on a silver platter.

"Sure. But only for a little while."

The sisters smiled amongst themselves and Addison knew this was going to end badly.

"So Meredith, do you have any siblings?"

She glanced up nervously, "Well, I have three half siblings. But I don't see them very often. We're kind of estranged and I don't think they even know I exist."

Addison closed her eyes; Meredith had that habit of rambling when she was nervous. This was going to end very badly.

"That's strange. I mean, if it weren't for the ladies sitting at this table I'd probably go insane. I can't imagine not wanting to get to know any family I have."

Nancy stated decidedly.

"It's complicated. My mother didn't…"

Meredith continued though Addison heard Nancy turn to Karen and whisper in her ear. "Teach me how not to sleep with married men…"

Karen laughed so loudly milk nearly came out of her nose.

Addison caught the look on Meredith's face and knew she had heard. This was brutal.

She really couldn't sit idly by. Change the subject…hopefully Meredith would keep her mouth shut.

"So Karen…How have you been feeling lately? Have you had a lot morning sickness?"

"Not really, I think I've learned nearly all the tricks of the trade."

Carol looked at Karen, "You better have by now. I'm pretty sure this child is going to pretty much walk right out of you."

By now the rest of the family had figured out Karen was pregnant. Georgia Sheppard had guessed it the instant Karen had walked in the door, even before her coat was off.

Tom nearly fainted when Georgia had announced it to the rest of the family.

"You're having a baby?" Meredith joined the conversation.

"Yup. Baby number 6."

Karen rubbed her belly gently.

Meredith looked shocked, "Really?"

"Yeah. Why do you look so surprised? Didn't Derek mention that I have five children?"

Meredith looked a little bewildered, "Not exactly. He mentioned that he had a lot of nieces and nephews but…"

Each sister gave disapproving looks to Meredith before starting their own conversation.

"Do you remember when Derek brought Addison to meet us all? She knew all the kids, and she had presents for them too. Jesus, they loved her."

Nancy smiled and squeezed Addison's hand. Addison blushed.

"Yeah. And Dad loved her the moment he saw her. I remember he took Derek aside and said if he didn't marry her he'd have to have his brain checked."

Addison looked up nervously at Meredith.

"You guys need to stop. That was a long time ago."

Karen turned towards her, "Its makes no difference. I mean you delivered my little girls Addison. And Nancy's C-section. And Dad's funeral. You kept us all together when we were falling apart."

There are tears running down her cheeks. Addison feels them prickling her eyes as well.

Karen laughs finally, "Damn these hormones."

There were a few moments of silence before Meredith broke it.

"I'm really not that bad. If you just give me a chance."

"Not that bad Meredith? How can you say that when you are the reason Derek hasn't been home in nearly two years," Nancy said with a straight face. Obviously Meredith had spoken at the wrong moment.

"Don't you find it strange that he never talks about his family to you Meredith? How many of us there are. Where we grew up. His father's death. Everything you know about Derek is superficial. He didn't even tell us he was bringing you home for Christmas. He knew what he was bringing you into and he didn't warn you or anything."

Now Meredith is near tears.

Addison opens her mouth to stop Nancy but Derek beats her to it.

People always had a habit of showing up when they shouldn't.

"Stop it Nancy."

He's trembling and so is Nancy.

"No. I won't. I'm you're big sister. I'm supposed to point out your mistakes. I stood by before but I can't now. This is just so damn wrong. I don't know how you can't see that. This is a mistake."

"But they are my mistakes to make."

Addison looked up to lock eyes with Meredith for a moment. Her expression clearly showing she had noticed Derek had not corrected Nancy for calling her a mistake. She turns her face but Addison notes the redness of her cheeks.

"It is my choice who I am with. You act like everything is my fault. Addison slept with my best friend. She stayed with my best friend after I left. She made the mistakes and no one says anything to her. I'm the guilty party. Everything I do is wrong."

He looks at Addison, "You did this. You ruined everything."

She glares at him. She knows he has no right to say those things.

"That is more than enough. I do not want to hear another word from any of you."

Georgia Sheppard stood at the entrance of the kitchen. The spot Derek had occupied moments ago.

She looked around the room at her children, a sad look on her face and Addison knew she was wondering how she had let her family find themselves in the current situation.

"Nancy, we all know how you feel about the choices Derek is making. Derek knows how we all feel about his choices but they are his to make. If he brings Meredith her to meet us all we should treat her in a way your father would be proud and I know if he could see us all right now he would feel anything but."

Derek has a smug look on his face though his smile quickly fades when his mother turned to him.

"And you do not get to smile like that. You do not get to blame Addison for what happened. You both made mistakes and I know Addison paid for them. You did not see her after you left," she shakes her head softly knowing he probably doesn't understand.

"You started to miss Christmases and Easters, Derek. And then you stopped calling and visiting. The only time I heard from you when was I talked to Addison. I felt like I had lost my son."

She moves to the table and sits down.

"And I was just your mother. I can't even imagine how Addison felt. You stopped being a good husband. I don't know how I didn't see it but after your father's death I've been forgetful of this family."

"I was a good husband," his voice is scratchy. He hates his mother for saying something like that, "I was providing everything she needed. Clothes, shoes, a house in the Hamptons, a townhouse in the city. Everything. I was trying to be the best because that's what everyone said I should be. That's what everyone wanted."

His mother looks up at him, "No baby. We just wanted you. Material things don't mean you're a good husband. Trust me, when I lay down at night and think of your father it isn't the income he provided I miss. It's him. Marriage is about companionship and you stopped being there."

Addison keeps her head down. There are tears falling swiftly down her cheeks. She doesn't have to look to know Derek is crying as well.

"Now what happened has happened. We can't go back and change it but we have to realize that we can't keep carrying this guilt. No one is to blame. If you don't realize that you'll never be happy again."

"I'm going back to Seattle. I can't stay here when it's like this," he looks around the room before speaking again, "Come on Meredith."

She hesitant to move but she gets up and follows Derek up the stairs.

His mother doesn't try to stop him. They all knew he was as stubborn as his father.

Nancy got up and sat at her mother's side.

"I'm sorry mom. I can't help it sometimes. You know I'm just like daddy."

The older woman smiled, "I know. I just want this family to be happy again. All together."

Addison got up and came to Georgia's other side, "We will be mom. Just give it time. Some wounds take longer than others to heal."

Like time, there's always time
On my mind
So pass me by, I'll be fine
Just give me time

Damien Rice

I never felt like Shonda addressed the problems in Derek and Addison's marriage. It just ended in a split second (you literally missed it if you blinked). But now Derek has some guilt placed squarely on him, and by his mother, none the less, so it sticks. It wasn't just Addison who felt neglected, it was everyone.

I just hated the way Shonda did it, like Derek admitted he had made mistakes and then everything is Addison's fault again because in comes McSteamy with the steamy shower and all. It was hott but really made Addison look like a bad person again because she started her affair again.

Now we're at square one. Derek knows he made big mistakes. Is it too little too late? Does it even matter? Is he happy enough with Meredith? Maybe Addison is happy enough with Finn. Who knows? Well, I kind of do but just a little. And I promise a conversation will happen between Addy and Derek about Finn. Unfortunately, there won't be any really happy Addek moments in the next few chapters because they are still so far from happy Addek moments. Derek just realized how bad of a husband he became. We've got a lot of ground to cover but we're getting there.

Good news, I know how it ends. Well, I always knew it was Addek but I have the final scene in mind (is that crazy?). It's so cute and random and perfect. Hopefully. But that's the end. Right now I'm working on the middle.

And I'm watching Scrubs Thursday night, much less depressing and crazy. And pretty damn funny so I'm excited. Plus they can't possibly ruin everyone I like about the show in one episode (unlike Shonda) so I'm pretty sure I won't be left emotionally scarred for life after watching it.

Review and next time I'll cut the rant in half. Or maybe you're just reading for the rant and I'll make it extra long to get another review out of ya!