Tim and Matt showered quickly (and together, of course,) after their mutual jerk-off session. That had taken nearly 15 minutes, and Matt had promised Al he would be home in 20. Matt didn't bother with even drying his hair, though Tim seemed upset about not getting to style his before leaving. He pouted as Matt pulled him away from the mirror and down the stairs to the garage.
"I promised my brother! I don't want him to go crazy being stuck with them." Matt said, and pushed Tim into his garage. "But, you have to at least let me put some gel in it! What if I see someone I know?" Tim whined, and Matt kept pushing him towards his car. "Then we're fucked anyways, because they'll see you escorting your student home on his walk of shame. So get in your damn car and escort me home." Matt had pushed Tim up against his car, and Tim sighed. "Okay, fine, bossy. But if you make fun of me I swear to god I'll cry." Tim pouted as he got into his car, and didn't stop once they started to drive to Matt's.
"Oh no, it's drying like this! I swear to god Matt, the things I do for you." Tim complained after he checked his hair in the rearview mirror at a stoplight. He gave the mirror a dirty look then pulled his hood up. "Oh, come on. Let me see." Matt asked, and Tim tightened the strings on his hoodie. "Tim! I've seen your dick but you won't let me see your natural hair?" Matt reached to pull off Tim's hood, and he pulled it tighter. "Tim, oh my god. Tim, you're a child." Matt groaned, but once the light turned green and Tim moved his hands back to the wheel, he got an idea.
In one movement, Matt had reached over and pulled off Tim's hood, and finally got to see what Tim was so embarrassed about. Honestly, Matt didn't see what Tim had to be worried about- Matt thought he looked handsome with his hair down. It made him look younger and it covered the nasty scar on his forehead. "Matt! You son of a bitch!" Tim yelled, and Matt saw that his face was slightly red. "I look fucking 12, give me back my hood." Tim grumbled and pulled his hood back up. He pulled into the abandoned gas station parking lot that he had stopped at the day he brought Matt home from school.
"It seems like we only come to this place when someone is pouting and needs cheering up, eh?" Matt laughed lightly. "Eh? What are you, Canadian?" Tim was still pouting, and Matt smiled. "I am in my heart. But no- remember how you cheered me up the last time we were here?" he asked, and Tim's pout wavered. Matt knew that Tim knew what was coming. Without saying a word, Matt placed his hand under Tim's chin and raised his head. He pulled the hood off, and though Tim's stare hardened for a moment, he didn't say anything. Matt brushed Tim's hair out of his eyes and the car was silent as he slowly pressed his lips to Tim's.
The kiss was chaste at first. There was no tongue, no frantic grabbing, just their lips pressed together. Matt could feel Tim's breathing on his cheek, and he smiled into the kiss. Immediately he felt Tim smile back, and he pulled his lips away to laugh. Matt's forehead was pressed against Tim's, and Matt looked into his deep green eyes. "I don't think I've ever told you how beautiful your eyes looked." Matt said offhandedly. Tim smiled and pecked Matt on the lips. "Yours are too, Matt. They're so blue, they're almost purple. Has anyone ever told you that?" A smile played on Tim's lips, and Matt blushed a bit. "No, uh, they… I-" Matt, who was still not used to receiving compliments, stammered a bit, but was cut off by a kiss from Tim. This kiss was a bit more passionate, Tim must have realized how little time they had before Matt needed to be home. His tongue begged for entrance into Matt's mouth, and it was quickly granted. Matt wanted just a last taste of Tim before he left; he wanted the faint taste of cigarettes and coffee to stay in his mouth all day, and every day after that.
Tim and Matt abruptly jumped back when they heard a shout from outside the car. "Matthew Ludovic Kirkland!" The voice was dripping with a French accent and Matt's heart rate sped up as he realized who it belonged to. "Shit, shit, Tim, it's my mom." Matt's voice was full of panic and he looked up to see that Tim was wide-eyed. "Well what do we do?" Tim's voice was hushed, but Francine had approached the car and was tapping on the window. "Maybe she's high- just let me talk to her and I'll fix it, okay? She won't know a thing, I swear." Matt tried to speak like he was level-headed and had a plan, but in reality, he didn't, and his panic was rising to a dangerous level. He opened the door and stepped outside to talk to his mother. "H-Hi, Mama." His voice was uncertain and shaky. To tell the truth, he was terrified. "Who were you kissing in that car, Matthew?" Francine didn't miss anything. "I- He- It's not what it looks like, Mama, I swear-" Matt felt tears start to prick in his eyes, and Francine's hard look made them threaten to spill over. Fuck, how could he be so careless? Making out with Tim in such a public place? It was his fault.
"So this boy, he kissed you against your will? You seemed to be enjoying it." Francine said knowingly. Matt knew he could never lie to his mother. Junkie or not, she could see through any lie, unlike Alfred or Arthur. "No! I mean-" Matt felt his tears start to stream down his face, and he lost any sort of control he had. "Mama, please, don't be mad at me, I promise it'll never happen again, I was just curious about guys. You can't tell Dad or Al, they'll disown me and I'll have to go live with you in France, and I'd have to leave him- please, Mama, I'm begging you-" Matt had started sobbing, and Francine moved to wrap her arms around him.
"Oh, don't you cry Matthew. I don't care that you like boys, or you're curious about liking boys. I've been known to keep company with a few women before… Matthew, I love you regardless of anything. You're my son. I won't tell your father or your brother a thing, it's our secret, okay?" Francine spoke softly, and she held Matt tightly. "You can go back to your friend. We'll talk later if you want to, once you get back home." Francine kissed Matt's cheek, and Matt hugged her. "Thanks, Mama." Matt sniffled and Francine smiled. "I have to go meet a friend, but I'll be home in a few hours. We can talk then, okay?" Francine asked as she started to walk away, and Matt nodded and got back in the car with Tim
"Matt, are you okay? Why are you crying, what did she do? Did she say something to hurt you? I'll get out and talk to her, Matt." Tim reached to open his door, but Matt grabbed his arm. "No, Tim, you, you don't have to." He wiped at his tears and tried to calm himself down so he can talk. "She doesn't know you're my teacher, okay? That's all that matters. She isn't upset or anything and she isn't going to tell anyone. I just… I'm sorry, I'll walk home from here." Matt opened his door, and Tim mirrored his movements and grabbed his arm. "If I'm not allowed to leave the car, neither are you, babe."
"Yeah, but, aren't you mad? I got us caught, and I almost got us caught with Mrs. Hedervary the other day, and I just thought, you know, I've fucked us up. I thought you'd be mad, Tim. I thought- just let me go, Tim." Matt's tears had started to fall again and he used the hand Tim didn't have to wipe at them. "What? Matt, close the door. I want to talk to you. I'm not mad." Tim said softly, and Matt hesitantly shut the door. "Matt, I'm not mad. That was certainly a shock, yeah, but I'm not mad at you. Why would I be mad?" Tim asked, and Matt looked at him. Matt thought he saw an ounce of hurt in Tim's eyes.
"Well, I- I got us caught, Tim, and you could lose your job if anyone found out, I thought you'd want to leave because I'm not worth it-" Matt started to talk, but Tim cut him off. "Woah, Matt. You didn't get us caught. If anything it was me. I shouldn't have touched you in such a public place. The same thing applies to what happened in the art room Friday. It's my fault, don't blame yourself. We just need t be more careful. Okay?" Tim asked, and Matt nodded, sniffling slightly. "Good. And what do you mean, you're not worth it? Matt, you're worth everything. And I know our relationship is moving weirdly fast, but I've cared about you for a long time. You might even say I was hoping for what happened to happen the day I told you to buy off me- anyways. Matt. I just, I'm not mad, okay? I'll take you home and let you calm down and I'll call you. Is that okay?" Tim asked, and Matt nodded. Tim took a quick glance around and kissed Matt's forehead quickly. He put his car into gear, and drove back onto the road.
The ride back to Brookshire was too short for Matt to bear. He hadn't said a word since Tim had talked to him, but at the same time, he didn't want to leave his company. Keeping true to his word about being more careful, Tim parked outside the gates of Brookshire, not even taking Matt up to his house. Matt knew that the risk wasn't worth the 3.2 extra seconds it gave him with Tim, but he didn't care. Tears were still silently streaming down his face and he didn't want to leave Tim. Before he left, he gave Tim a hug (which was awkward to do over the gears and car things between the driver and passenger seat,) not wanting to risk another kiss. Matt wasn't satisfied with the lack of contact, but didn't say anything. He got out of Tim's Volkswagen and started to make the short walk back to his house. He held back sobs until he got to his house.
Once he was inside, he noticed that both of his parents were gone. Big surprise there. Matt stripped out of his hoodie and threw it on the ground, hoping that Alfred was in his room and that Matt could go take a shower and cry some more. But luck didn't seem to be with Matt today, and as soon as he shut the door, Al popped out of the kitchen. "It took you long enough, bro! Mom and Dad already got pissed and left!" Al seemed slightly annoyed, but he noticed that Matt was shaking and that his tear-stained and his expression softened. "Woah, are you okay? What happened, Mattie?" Al had a hint of worry in his voice now. "N-nothing, Al, I just want to sleep. Leave me alone." Matt tried to walk past Al and get to his room, but his brother ran to the stairs and prevented him from going up.
"No, Matt. You're my little brother, and if you're crying, it means I have to kick someone's ass!" Al exclaimed, anger starting to return to his voice. Matt really didn't want to deal with this right now. "First of all, I was born first, Al, we've been over this a hundred times. And secondly, I told you, nothing happened!" Matt, usually soft-spoken, yelled, and pushed his way past Al up the stairs. He hoped that would deter Al from following, but Alfred was the 'too stupid to give up' type. "Someone seriously must have done something to you to yell like that. Mattie, what happened?" Realizing Al wasn't going to stop without any sort of explanation, Matt came up with a suitable lie.
"I had a panic attack coming home, okay?" Matt said as he got to his room and slammed the door in Al's face. He didn't even understand what his emotions were doing at the moment, he just knew he didn't want to deal with anyone. He heard Alfred turning the doorknob, and he locked the door. "Mattie, you open this door! You've gotta talk to me- why did you have a panic attack? Was it as bad as it used to be?" Al yelled through the door. Matt cringed as he remembered what Al was talking about.
Mrs. Hedervary once told Matt that she thought he had the worst case of anxiety she had ever seen. She had tried calling Arthur dozens of times once Matt had started having panic attacks regularly during his freshman year, but whenever she managed to get ahold of him, he would brush it off. Matt's anxiety got steadily worse, to the point where by junior year, he couldn't play hockey, he couldn't drive (possibly the reason he never got his license,) he couldn't even go to school without having a severe panic attack. Al finally noticed that there was something wrong with Matt when he missed 2 straight weeks of school, and he was, surprisingly, the one who dragged him out from his room and brought up the idea of smoking pot to help his anxiety. Both twins would deny it, vehemently, if the subject of how Matt turned from hockey captain to pothead. But in reality, Al forced Matt out of bed one day, and they skipped school together. Al drove Matt to a local park, and bought a joint off of Romeo Vargas, who stole it from his older brothers, Lovino and Feliciano Vargas, who owned an art store Matt frequented in Portland.
Matt remembered that the joint was huge, way too much for three first time smokers. Matt's anxiety nearly put him into cardiac arrest, but as soon as he took the first hit, the tightness in his chest completely dissipated. He smoked the joint to the roach with Al and Romeo, and they all three stumbled around the park for the rest of the day until their buzz faded. Matt remembered that, once they were both sober, Al took him back to his car and hugged him and asked if that helped him any. Al would kill him if he ever mentioned it, but Al had tears in his eyes. Matt remembered nodding to his brother, not trying to let on how much the pot he had smoked really had helped, and how he knew that he was hooked from the first puff.
Since Matt had been smoking regularly, his anxiety had all but disappeared. What had happened earlier in the car was the most panic he had felt in a long time. He took a deep breath, feeling his body still shaking slightly, and decided he needed to smoke to keep from having a full blown panic attack. He had gotten out his stash box and had loaded a bowl when he heard Alfred scream through his door again.
"Mattie! Are you okay?" Al's voice was laced in concern, and Matt decided to yell back, hoping it would get Al to leave. "Yeah. Lukas just got into an accident taking me home, and it scared me. I'm fine." He could feel himself calming down tremendously as he lit his pipe and took a big hit. He had forgotten to put a towel under the door, and there was no doubt that Alfred, who was still outside Matt's door, could smell the Dutch Treat Matt was smoking. "Uh, I'll just leave you to your ritual then, if it helps you calm down. I'll be in my room if you need me, Mattie." Matt heard Alfred shuffle down the hall, and let his head fall back. All his worries had disappeared, and Matt was finally calm.