Chapter Fourteen

A/N: Thank you to Veridissima for reviewing the last chapter.

Jocelyn awoke with a start and instinctively clamped her hand over her mouth to muffle her cries. She had suffered many nightmares over the years- hardly surprising, given the horrors she had seen and endured- and thus had become very accustomed to keeping quiet, making sure no one knew the truth.

The further she moved through her pregnancy, the more common the dreams became. Magnus claimed this was normal, when she finally summoned the courage to ask him, but Jocelyn had not gone into specifics, not wanting to set into motion an information chain that might make it back to her husband or her daughter. After all, Magnus was a wonderful friend, but he had not kept a secret from Alec since the two had reconciled.

Holding back a sigh, Jocelyn maneuvered herself to the edge of the bed, awkwardly pulling herself to her feet. The warrior within her still protested at being so ungainly, her instincts rebelling at not being able to fight at a moment's notice. She may have left that life behind long ago, but her body did not know the difference.

She tiptoed out of the room, as quietly as she was able, to avoid waking the man sleeping soundly on the other side of the bed. Luke was a horrendously light sleeper, especially now his wife was so heavily pregnant, and he would quickly notice she was gone. 'I hate to do this to him.' she thought, remembering the last time she had snuck out before the sunrise, how frightened Luke had seemed when he peered round her bedroom door as she rested. 'But I don't have a choice.'

It was easier to believe that, anyway.

Jocelyn pulled her coat tighter around her swollen belly, cursing the chill winds that plagued the countryside at this time of year. Usually, she loved the cold, the way that ice and frost coated every surface in crystal, but she was too preoccupied to see the beauty in the landscape around her.

Beside the lake was the coldest place of all, the chill wind whipping up the water into tiny waves. Just a few months ago, the place conjured happy memories, picnics with her family and childhood play fights with Luke. Now, all she could see was a hooded woman with a far too familiar voice.

"I'm here." she called out to the empty air, trying to ignore how foolish it made her feel. Any passers-by would think she was mad; if they were any to be found in the dead of night. "Whatever you want from me, I'm here."

Her only answer was silence. Jocelyn shifted a little, as if to bolt away from the lake, but her feet were fixed in place, heavy like lead weights at the end of her legs. She cradled her bump carefully, the most protection she could offer out here in the darkness.

She waited a minute, then two, then three, until she was almost ready to give up. And then she heard a voice from behind her.

"Why have you come here, Jocelyn Graymark?" The voice was horribly familiar, and the redhead wrapped her arms tighter around her bump. The memory of the last time this woman had been so close to one of her children still burned in her mind. She would not let that happen again, so long as she had the power to stop it.

"My baby has been experimented on, again." Jocelyn choked out, barely able to speak the words. Apart from a few short lapses in control, the woman had spoken of her baby's possible affliction to no one. "I thought it was likely you had something to do with it, given the role you played the last time."

"I had nothing to do with Clarissa's abilities." the woman contradicted, examining her hands with an expression not unlike a bored teenager. "Angel blood is not within my domain. I would have thought even you would be able to work that out."

"Lilith!" Jocelyn barked. The demon looked up, hollow black eyes meeting green. "Were you part of it this time? Did you help Valentine to change my baby?"

Lilith let out an empty laugh, her smile menacing. "You really are a fool, aren't you? I didn't help anyone, Jocelyn. I poisoned your baby all on my own."

The Shadowhunter's mouth slowly dropped open, her eyes prickling with unshed tears. All this time, she had thought Valentine responsible for her baby's abnormalities, thought that had she been more careful, she could have prevented this. But she had been powerless all along.

"Poor ignorant Jocelyn Fairchild." Lilith hissed, her joviality quickly replaced by menace. "Never suspecting the grievances so many hold against you. Valentine would never have imagined you were pregnant; he thought you were still his faithful wife for all that time. By the time your baby was transformed, Valentine was just ashes on the wind."

"What did you do?" Jocelyn begged. She knew how futile a gesture it was, to ask a demon to reveal their plot, but her instincts had taken over. Anything she could do to help her child, she would do it, no matter the cost. "Lilith, please. This is my baby, my child. Don't take them away from me."

"The way you took my son from me?" The redhead let out a shuddering breath. She should have known. Lilith had considered Jonathan her son since before he came into the world. Jocelyn had mourned the boy for weeks after he had died; she could only imagine the agony that would be tearing Lilith apart. "You behave as if you are the perfect mother, but when Jonathan called out for your help, you left him to die. You did not care enough for your firstborn to even keep him alive."

"That's not true." Jocelyn protested desperately. "I loved him, I tried to help him. Clary did what she had to do to escape, there was nothing I could do to save him. Lilith, please. There must be something I can do, some way to save the baby."

The demon's face fell cold, her jaw locked with contempt. She shook her head gently. "You took my child from me, Jocelyn Graymark. Now I will do the same for you."

And then she was gone, a gust of wind following in her wake. Jocelyn clamped her eyes shut, trying to stop the tears that threatened to pour forth from her eyes. The final chance she had to make things right, and she had thrown it away.

Jocelyn cradled her bump tightly, embracing the child within. There was only so long she would be able to do this, hold onto her dream before reality would rip it from her arms once again.

A/N: So, to everyone who guessed this ages ago, you were right! Hope you enjoyed and please review!