Hey yall! I just want to post this so you guys can read so here we go.

Thanks for reading and reviewing, I wouldn't be doing this without you guys :)

I don't own Calvin and Hobbes.

And I'm sorry it's so short :(

X

When Calvin finished his junior year in high school he had solid B's in all his classes, with an A in English. And though this sudden change and dedication to school work would please most teachers, it left his teachers confused and his parents worried.

But there were other things that were concerning his parents.

Calvin's sudden change in attitude was the first thing they noticed. They couldn't remember the last time he said something remotely sarcastic or humorous. They couldn't remember when he said more than two words at a time. The morning of the car incident, after he had collapsed onto the pavement, his mother had practicably dragged her limp son back to the house, putting him back to bed. He wouldn't leave his room for the rest of the week.

He wouldn't go near the car either. It was moved into the garage where Calvin wouldn't even look at it. Susie even offered several times to give him driving lessons, but he turned her down, every time. The letter from Hobbes was left unopen on his bed side table.

He lost weight too. It was hard to imagine, he was already a scrawny boy but all his jeans seemed to hang so much lower on his hips than they used to.

But all these things, the sudden dedication to school, the lack of speech, the weight lose, that could be dealt with, it was the fact that he hadn't used his computer in months, that was the most distressful thing. He wouldn't even sit at the desk. In fact, he moved his computer chair out of his room, as if it's presence would some how lead him into some dark temptation.

And they couldn't figure out what to do to help him. Even Susie wasn't having any luck.

X

It was a day of thick warmth in the middle of July and Calvin was stretched on his bed, watching the ceiling fan spin above him. One hand was stretched on the planes on his stomach so his shirt was bunched up, the other hung limply off the bed. The warm weather was making him think about his trip to New Orleans with Hobbes. The art, the people, the buildings. But most of all, the dancing. That stupid dance, that stupid smile on Hobbes face and the kiss. That...kiss...

Calvin rolled over to his side, his knees tucking up instinctively. His brain immediately filled with a stream of swear words as tears began leak from his eyes. He couldn't stand this. Crying all the time. He couldn't stop, every moment he spent alone gave him to much time to think, and his thoughts turned to Hobbes, and thinking about Hobbes made him cry. And he just wanted to stop crying. Shouldn't he have run out of tears by now?

The soft knocking on his door made him tense.

"What?" Calvin moaned.

"I'm coming in."

The door was opened and closed softly. Susie shuffled in quietly, sitting on the side of the bed, letting her hand rest on Calvin's upturned shoulder. "Hey, you okay?"

"I'm fine," Calvin mumbled. "What on earth would make you think otherwise."

Susie eyes went wide. "Are you...Calvin, are you crying?"

"No," Calvin said with a sniff, unconvincing.

"Calvin."

"Yes okay?" Calvin growled, sitting up sharply and rubbing at the stupid track marks on his cheeks. "Yes, I'm crying. I cry all the time, I can't stop crying. It's my new way of life!"

"Oh, sweetie..."

"Why can't I stop crying?" Calvin asked hopelessly. "Every night I go to sleep sobbing into my pillows, it's like my eyeballs are broken."

Susie shifted so she could warp an arm around his shoulder, pulling him in close. "I don't think it's your eyeballs. I'm sorry, but I think your suffering from what my mothers cheesy romance novels call a broken heart."

"Don't be stupid. I'm not...It's just since Hobbes left I–"

Susie rested her head on top of his, speaking softly into his hair. "It's okay to miss him."

"I don't miss him," Calvin spat. "I hate his stupid guts. He's an asshole and I wish he never moved here in the first place."

"Calvin, it's okay if you like Hobbes. It's okay if you like Hobbes more than you think you should, it doesn't make me think any less of you. It's okay."

"I just...I don't want to feel anything for him. I want to forget I ever met him. It hurts. It fucking hurts and I can't understand that."

"Is that why you won't learn to drive that car? Because it reminds you of him?"

"Everything reminds me of him!" Calvin shouted, pulling away from her hold. "He's screwed up everything. He went and touched every corner of my life so all of it gets associated back to him. I can't read a book, or watch TV, or lie on my bed without being reminded of him! I can't work on–" Calvin halted his rant, swallowing thickly.

"What?" Susie asked, making him meet her gaze. "What can't you work on?"

"Nothing. I don't want to talk about it."

"Ignoring it will not fix the problem. That won't make it go away."

"I don't have to talk about."

"Maybe you should talk to you parents?" Susie suggested. "They're worried about you Calvin. You aren't an easy kid to talk to, they don't know what they should do. Maybe you should talk to them."

"No," Calvin heaved, shaking his head desperately. "What would I tell them? That I have...That I might be..."

"That you have...feelings for a boy? It's not the end of the world. Your parents love you, they can deal with it."

Calvin's teeth clenched. "Don't say that. You don't know anything about it."

"Being in love with a boy isn't that big a deal," Susie dismissed. "Your mom could attest for that."

"I'm not in love with a boy!" Calvin shouted.

Susie waited for his breathing to slow down before continuing on rationally. "You wouldn't be this upset if I were the one to move."

"Well no," Calvin huffed. "But that's because–"

"He broke your heart," Susie cut in softly. "And I know Hobbes didn't mean to but that's what he did. And that's why you can't write anymore. And why you've lost weight and why you cry uncontrollably. When my parent's got divorced my mom went though practically the same thing. But you aren't doing any favors to yourself by lying about it. And you can't do this to yourself all summer."

"I don't feel like doing anything at all."

"You know why everyone says you can't help who you fall in love with? They say it because it's true. And you don't have to label yourself. You don't have to be gay or straight or bi or pansexual or any kind of sexual. You don't have to limit yourself with any sort of label. Hobbes never did. He never once called himself gay or straight."

"But he's had boyfriends–" Calvin started smartly.

"Yeah, he's had boyfriends," Susie shrugged. "He like guys, but that wasn't what made him who he was. He was never more or less than himself. And if you could learn anything from him I'm sure he would want it to be that."

Calvin grabbed a fistful of his hair. "I don't know if I can do this without him anymore."

"You're gonna have to try. You don't get to waste away, you're so much stronger than that."

Calvin didn't say anything for a moment, but Susie grabbed his hand, giving it a friendly squeeze and for the first time in months, he almost smiled. "You still wanna give me driving lessons?"

"Yeah," Susie said happily. "Tomorrow?"

"Sure. Tomorrow," Calvin agreed. "Thanks Susie."

"Your welcome," Susie grinned, standing up and straightening her clothes, her eyes falling to the closed envelope on the wooded table. "Calvin, maybe you should read the letter. I doubt it could make anything worse."

Calvin too looked at the paper, his face going slightly green. "But what if it does?"

"You can't just leave it sitting there, you have to do something with it. Read it or throw it away."

"I'm afraid," Calvin admitted, looking at his feet. "I'm scared of what he said. Of what I wouldn't let him say."

Susie kneeled in front of him. "Calvin this is your life. You have the power. You make the decision's okay? Don't let what ever this is control you. Let it be a part of you. It's not the be all and all I promise."

"Alright, I can try. I'll try, thank you," Calvin stood up, going to his door. "I'll see you tomorrow, I think I just need some time to myself right now."

"Okay, you call me when you want to go practice, I'm free all day."

"I will. Bye Susie."

"Bye Calvin."

When he heard the front door close he closed his own door. He went back to his bed, situating himself into his pillows before reaching over and grabbing the letter that had been sitting by his bed every night, haunting him, eerie and ghost like.

He took a deep breath, biting his lip as he opened the already unglued flap, pulling out the sheet of paper that was clearly covered in Hobbes' handwriting.

My dearest Calvin,

I'm sorry. I guess that's the first thing I ought to say. I'm sorry that I hurt you and that I lied. I told you when we met that I wouldn't do this to you and I did. I think you were right when you said I was an ass. I am. I'm an asshole and I'm selfish. And I feel really terrible about this, I do. I've never been this miserable about having to move. It's always sucked but this is beyond horrible. I don't think I've ever felt this bad before. And it isn't the house or the town that's making feel so awful, it's you. The idea of leaving you, I can't even bear that.

I miss you. Already, I know, you probably think that's pathetic, but I do. Since the day I came to your house to talk to you. I missed you as soon as I shut the door. And I don't care if that sounds stupid but it's true. I meant what I said. About you being special. You aren't like anyone else I've ever met. You're so different. So much darker and colder and more vulnerable than anyone I'd ever come across. And much smarter and funnier. You're sense of humor astounds me. You astound me. I still feel as though I know nothing about you. There's still a million things about you I want to learn, and I think I could have spent the rest of my life finding out.

You don't even know do you? I think that's the worst of it. You don't even know how fascinating you are. I could never get my head around you, you were just so confusing. Like a puzzle that refused to be solved. I think that was one of the things I like so much. You're unfailing ability to confuse me. Like how you never reacted when I'd kiss you. Nothing. You never pushed me away and you never kissed me back. That only made me curious. And I kept wondering if you liked me at all. Even the tiniest bit. Most guys aren't okay with having the moves put on them but you never hit me like I expected so I kind of hoped that maybe, maybe you felt that same way about me as I do for you. Even if it was only a little bit. And maybe you just couldn't handle it or didn't know what to say . But can you imagine what that was like for me? To think I might have had a little piece of you. Maybe that's worth how terrible I feel now. That small piece of joy in thinking you felt anything for me beyond friendship makes this feeling like I'm dying inside a little bearable.

I know I shouldn't say it but even with my leaving I wouldn't have changed meeting you. I wouldn't have changed coming here and getting an opportunity to have those many misadventures with you.

Do miss me at all? I shouldn't ask, but I can't help it. Do you feel an sense of emptiness and hopelessness that I do? A huge part of me hope's you don't. This is a misery I truly wish you aren't experiencing. You're already a sullen boy, there isn't any meed to add anything like that onto your plate. But then a small part of me wishes that you did. Because I'd know that this wasn't all one sided. That my hope wasn't completely misplaced.

I don't know.

I just want you to be happy Calvin. And I know you said you don't want to see me ever again, and I guess I can live with that if you promise me you'll be happy. But in case you change your mind I've enclosed a little slip of paper with my new address. In case you maybe thought about taking a little road trip. Give that car of yours a go. I hope you like it. I'm sure you think I'm just a cocky little rich kid, giving you a car but I knew I had to give you something and I just thought you could use it. Start senior year in style. No more bus rides for you or carpooling with Susie, or even getting rides from strange guys on motorcycles. Since that didn't turn out as well as you hoped.

But I'm glad you let me. I'm very grateful that you let me into your life, even though I know I've hurt you. It was never my intention, I never wanted to hurt you I just wanted to care for you. And I do. I care about you so much. I really can't think of the words to describe it, because I know it'll just come out goofy and cliche. But just know that I meant it. Everything, I really did mean it.

I love you. It least now you can't stop me from saying it. Love, love, lovelovelove you. I love you,Calvin Watterson.

Yours,

Well, more than yours.

Only yours,

William Hobbes

X

I know that seems like a really weird place to end that chapter but there we go. Getting towards the end here, see you guys soon. :) Thanks for reviewing you guys, it's pretty awesome that you guys take the time to do that!

Always,

CL