I want to say thank you to those who are still reading this. I AM SO SORRY for not updating i am so busy with homework lately and school and tests. I'm in an early college High School so its even harder than a normal high school because im taking college classes right from freshman year (which im in) so its hard. Anyway...here is the next chapter :D

I jolted up from a deep sleep. Nightmare. Watching my mom die again. I hated nights like these. I couldn't sleep so I quietly got out of the bottom bed and walked over to my dresser. I opened the second drawer and rummaged around 'til I found a black t'shirt with a red bleeding heart on it that was stitched up. It wasn't bright and hard to see at night. Perfect. I put that and some black leggings on.
Shutting the drawer I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. Quickly I turned my head and saw Dakota sitting up with a grim smile painted on her face. "You okay?" It was barely a whisper but I heard her.
I shook my head and I bit my lip making it bleed just so I didn't cry. "Nightmare. Mom again."
She came up behind me and hugged me. I stiffened up not wanting anyone to touch me. However I knew it was just her so I relaxed and closed my eyes, turned around and put my head back on her shoulder.
She grabbed my wrist and squeezed making slightly gasp in pain. I pulled my arm back instantly and ran out. F*cking h*ll! I ran harder and faster scared to death that she was behind me. I don't want to explain any time soon. I know I'm a coward. I'm running from a problem but that's what I've been doing lately. I can't handle any more stress or problems.
I ran right into Central Park. Knowing the'd think I'd be in the usual tree. I doubled back and ran to Luke's house. Houses, buildings, and signs blurred as angry tears fell and rolled down my cheeks. The three story building loomed ahead. The closer I got I could smell the alcohol, smoke, drugs, and vomit. I ran up the steps taking them by two and pushed the door open. A few people looked at me but I flicked them off. I was clearly not in the mood and I preferred to show anger over what I was actually feeling. I walked up to the bar with a glare and sat down. A blonde bar tender named Evan came up to me. "What'll it be my queen." Evan and I had a history if you will and only Dakota knew about it.
I smirked. "Whiskey."
"Coming right up." In just under minutes he set down next to me. "So, what happened? Your pissed off and it's showing."
I shook my head, "Just stuff. I don't feel like talking about it."
Evan slightly smiled. "You sure?"
I nodded and downed the glass. "Another one." Five glasses later I was buzzed and I was done. I got up from the barstool and set down 20$ for Evan. He gave a half smile when saw it and I pushed past people on the makeshift dance floor. Someone grabbed my shoulders and tried to get me to turn around.
I spun around and punched them in the gut causing everyone to back off and circle around us.. As they doubled over I pushed their drunk a** down. "F*ck off b*tch and leave me the h*ll alone." I made my words drip with venom. I pushed my way through the circle of people and headed up the stairs to the third floor where my room was.

When I made it into the room I opened my drawer and opened the false bottom. I shoved aside notebooks, drawing pads, colored pencils until I found it. My blade. I sighed and slid it across my wrist a few times. After that I fell asleep after putting the false bottom back. Tomorrow will be h*ll when I see Dakota because more than likely she'll tell Jake or Sam. Can someone just kill me please before I face them?

Dakota's Pov
Where the mother f*cking h*ll is Jade? I swear I am going to murd-oh who am I kidding. I do it too. We both had reasons too. I just which she would tell me instead hide it. She's probably in two places. Luke's or the tree is Central Park.

I couldn't tell Jake . . . at least not yet I couldn't but I was going to tell Sam. I sat down on my bed and waited for her to wake up. Minutes passed and I grew anxious. I walked over to Sam's bed and threw a shirt at her.
Sam growled and turned over So I threw a pillow at her and whisper yelled to her, "Something happened to Jade. Now get up we have to go after her."
She shot up and got dressed in minutes. She turned and looked at me, her eyes flooded with concern. "What's going on?"
I sighed and my lip trembled. "J-Jade's been cutting. I woke up to her silently crying and I got up and gave her a hug. I held her wrist and squeezed trying to comfort her and she cried out in pain. She's done this before but I thought she stopped Sam. We have to find her. . .now before she does something stupid."
"Well, what are we waiting for let's go." We ran down the stairs as quietly as possible and we went after her.
We run to the tree first and she's not there so we run to Luke's. We go in and I see Evan. I go up to the bar and slam my hand down making him jump. He looks up and smirks at me. "She's in her room. She was a bit buzzed and got into a fight before she went up there."
I gave him five dollars. "Thanks Evan." He took the five dollars and I grabbed Sam's elbow. "Lets go Sam. She's in her room here."

"She has a room here?"
I nodded and bound up the two flights up stairs and finally arrived at her room. "Here we are. Jade's private room."
"She has a private room?"
"Since she knows Luke well, I say a little too well but that story is to be told later. She only pays home 10 dollars a month for her to keep the room."
"D*mn."
I knocked on the door and heard no answer. "Jade let us in."
I could hear the door being locked. B*tch. "Why should I?"
"Because we want to help you. We-"
We could hear her sigh, "Kota don't start that sh*t with me. I don't need help. Why do you think I hid it from you for so freaking long? Why in the h*ll do think I wear a jacket in the dead of f*cking summer? Lightening's asked me so many times and I just shrug it off. I don't want someone to help me, I'm not weak. I just need a better outlet."
"Just let us in though."
"Fine." She unlocked it and opened. The sight of her arms made me want to kill her. Burns, cuts, needle scars, what was she doing? I wasn't even this bad! Not only that but she was skinny as h*ll. I never though she was this skinny no wonder the clothes she wears are baggy on her.
"Oh Jade."
"Don't 'oh Jade' me. Yes, I'm doing heroin, coke, and other cr*p. Yes I'm cutting and starving myself, and burning myself. Okay? Ok."
I shook my head, "No Jade it's not okay. Give me everything right now."
All she did was look at the silent Sam next to me. "What do you think about this? I know if it were me I'd leave and never come back. The doors right there. . ."
Sam laughed quietly. "You really think I'm going to leave you like this when you need me? Jade, Your my sister now and I'll never leave you. I'd never leave someone behind. Ever. You need someone to lean on well, here we are. We want to help you Jade."
"I'm too shattered to be repaired. Trust me so many people have tried to fix me, they've failed. I don't think your going any different. Yes your my sisters but I've hit a breaking point."

Sam sighed and I sat down on the bed numbly pulling a blanket over me. "Jade-"
"Dakota I killed someone. It was before I knew you. It was a rumble. A massive one with weapons. All six major gangs were there and it was every man for himself when it started basically. A lot of them were high or drunk including me making it and me more dangerous. Someone hit me and when I get hurt by someone I get pissed off. I knocked the one I was fighting with out and stabbed the one who hit me, in the neck. His buddy tried to get me off of him but he wound up with a knife to the gut. They both died. It haunts me daily and I hate it. After that someone pushed me over the edge and I killed them. I was drunk and high off of coke and heroine. I was pissed at someone and they pushed me into a wall and two of them tried to rape me. I snapped and killed them both. I've k-killed four people Dakota. You haven't. Your p-pure. This is my only escape. Then Lightening f*cking decides to make me his perfect little assassin!"
Jade's Pov
I've never told her about that. Ever, but I had to at last because it was a part of the explanation of why I do this. I could see the judgement swirling around in both of their eyes. Sam reached for the door but Dakota stopped her and shared a look with her. Sam looked back at me for just a second.
"Goodbye Jade. I have to think about this…"
"Sam-"
She swiveled on me and slapped me. "You murdered them Jade. In cold blood. I don't even think you have a heart if you did that. Your my sister Jade but I won't be turned into someone like you." She left me with Dakota.
"Kota I've killed more too. When I'm gone and you ask Lightening doesn't he always say it's secret or classified or whatever?" She nodded. "It's because I was out there worming my way into my victims life. They were gang leaders or higher ups but still they had a life and Tony basically trained me to kill them in cold blood. They were just a target. All in all I've murdered 8 people."
"Jade I had no idea about that. I'm so sorry." She went to touch me but I flinched. I was not in a stable state of mind.
"Now you know. Go follow Sam. Make sure she's okay. I'll be fine." She nodded and left after giving me a short 5 second hug. When they both left I grabbed my blade, lighter, cigarettes, heater, crack, vodka, and heroine. I planned to die tonight. I started wrote my suicide notes. When it was done I went to the top of the building set my stuff down and went back downstairs. I found Jake about to knock on the door and pulled him in to my room.
"Jake you know that I will always love you right?"

He kissed my cheek, "Of course I know this."
"What I might do please don't hate me. I don't want to leave but it's my only way to escape the pain I'm feeling."

"Jade your not going anywhere. . .are you?"
I shook my head. "No I'm not leaving you. I'll always be with you." It was true…I would be with him in spirit.
He kissed me and I kissed back filled with sorrow. "Let's just have this night to ourselves." I nod knowing it'll be my last chance to show him how much I love him.
- - - - - - - - - - -

Later that night I woke up and got dressed. I kissed Jake one last time and quickly sang. "I've lost myself

You tried to reach me but you just can't help me

So long

Goodbye

You tried to save me, it won't work this time

'Cause now

I've lost my f*cking mind

And there's no f*cking time

I can't believe I'm actually

Meant to be here

Trying to consume

The drug in me is you

And I'm so high on misery

Can't you see?

Oh, can't you see?

Can't you see?" I kiss him one more and went up to the roof. I shoot heroine into me multiple times. I did four lines of coke and had the three bottles of Vodka in under half an hour. I was high and buzzed which was good. I sang random songs to myself. I wouldn't feel a whole lot of pain. I burned my arms and legs and stomach, anywhere. I carved names everywhere I could too. Lightening's real name, Tony, Dakota, Sam, Jake, for the eight people I've killed I carved the number 8 into me.

I cried and sang 'til my voice was hoarse. I was finally going to be free of all this…I won't have to deal with this world again. I was bleeding badly and started to fade in and out of consciousness. I carved the gangs name into my stomach and cut until I was about to faint. I took the gun and put it up to my temple. Before I could though it was knocked from my hand. "Jade!" It was Jake and the last thing I heard was that I was going to be okay. If everything was going to be okay why did he stop me? Why did he stop me from my freedom? I WANTED THIS!

Holy macaroni! Okay...who thinks she'll live? Like that was a LOT OF DAMAGE to her body...a LOT of blood loss...so who thinks she'll live?
Also who hates Lightening right now? I know i do and I made him up lol.

I just want to throwout a quick shoutout to my BESTEST friend Crystalteen. SHE IS AN AMAZING AUTHOR please please please please look her up and read her stories and GET HER TO UPDATE some of them! (Pssst: read A Twisted Vacation and also read Bruises And Scars Last Longer Than You Think and read the sequel to that too because its amazing and i've been nagging her ot update them buuuut...yeah so go support her!) THANK YOU SO MUCH!