We started our journey back to Antonio's house in Madrid. As much as I loved my home in Rome, I was happy to be heading back to Spain. It was good to be heading back to the tomatoes and the things that really made Antonio smile. That's truly what I want...for him to be happy and live to the fullest. I never actually thought I could do anything for him, because I never saw myself as good enough. I always beat myself up and made myself sound worthless. I guess me helping Antonio made him want to help me. He fell in love with me, and I was too stupid to think it was actually possible. I was too stupid to realize that I meant everything to him. After our checkered past, of course. But still, it took me forever to be able to see the way he saw me. And now that I look back on it, I don't even know what was stopping that. Was it really just that I didn't want to be hurt again? Or was it the fact I didn't let myself have the ability to love someone? "Lovino? Are you alright?"

"What? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I was just deep in thought."

"I know," he laughed, "I've been trying to get your attention for the past five minutes."

"Oh, right, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Lovino. I just wanted to let you know that we're home," Antonio said as he got out of the car. I looked ahead, and sure enough, there was Antonio's house. I smiled to myself, and Antonio came around and helped me out of the car. We grabbed our bags, and headed into the house. We took our stuff to the bedroom, and then Antonio said something about making pizza for supper. So we headed back to the kitchen and got stuff together to start making the dough, and to cut up some vegetables. I told Antonio to do the vegetables, because the last time he tried making dough, it didn't end very well. As soon as I finished, I walked over to check on Antonio. He looked over at me and smiled before concentrating on what he was doing with the knife in his hand. I decided to leave him so he could finish, and I went out to the living room. I sat down on the couch, and waited. My phone went off, and it was a text from Feliciano telling me that we were needed back in Venice to catch up on the paper work he's been slacking on. He said that he wanted me there as soon as possible, and I told Feliciano that it would be tomorrow night. I wanted to stay with Antonio for one more night before I had to leave. He came out of the kitchen and sat next to me, and I told him about it. "Why couldn't he do it himself?" Antonio asked me.

"He's stupid and has been letting it pile up for months now. It was our bosses that said I had to come help him," I said rubbing my temples.

"And did you get a call from your boss?" Huh. Now that is a very good question.

"Well, no. But if I don't go, then Feliciano will never do his work," I said leaning against him.

"I guess you're right. So if he needs you as soon as possible then are you-"

"I'm leaving tomorrow morning. There is no way in hell I'm driving there tonight."

"Okay, that's good," he said leaning his head against mine.

"I wanted to spend another night with you before I have to go and spend God knows how long with that idiot," I said.

"Well, I'm honored you would want to do that," Antonio said kissing the top of my head, "and I hope you aren't gone too long. It gets lonely around here without you."

"I get lonely without this place, so I'll do everything I can to get back here as soon as possible," I said sighing.

"You really have turned soft, haven't you?" Antonio asked as he lightly laughed.

"I guess I have. But only for you," I said closing my eyes. That was the truth that I needed to tell myself. That was exactly how things were. I've turned soft, but only for him. Only Antonio.

"Well, that's a very, very lovely thing to hear, my Lovi." I felt as he started moving around, and then his arms wrapped around me. I looked over at him and he smiled at me. I smiled back, because why not? I mean, I've already practically told him everything that my heart finally made my head believe. I guess it was just the fact that I was protecting myself. I knew it was something along those lines.

"I'm sorry...I've put you through so much. I didn't even think for a moment how much you were actually holding back. I've been putting off saying all the things I should've a long time ago, yet you still stick with me. All of today, the whole spacing out because I was thinking thing, I was thinking about all of the stupid mistakes I've made, and all of the words that I needed to tell you. I'm an idiot, and I know I shouldn't deserve to have you after what I put you through.

"Even when I was younger. After I broke down the protective walls you had over yourself, it still took me so long to let you break mine in return. I've been the biggest idiot and jackass this whole time. Yet you stuck with me. Why? I think I know. You stuck with me because you knew that one day you would break me to the point that I told you. You knew I needed the time to prepare myself for it. You just knew, Antonio. So, I'll keep apologizing. And I'll keep loving you. And I'll keep telling you that I love you. Because, Antonio, I have forever with you." Nope. I lied. Now I made myself believe everything my heart has been saying. And you know what? It felt good. Saying all of that felt extremely good.

I watched the tears trail their way down the sides of Antonio's face, and I couldn't help but softly smile. I knew those tears were of happiness and pure joy. I knew I had just rendered him speechless. And I knew he was okay with that. He didn't need to say anything, because he's already told me everything. No words were needed as I watched him cry. No words were needed as I continued to smile lovingly at him. No words were needed as the silence dragged on. I reached forward and placed both of my hands on either side of his face. I brushed away some of the water that already stained Antonio's face, and felt as he nuzzled into my hands. He smiled back at me, and I pulled him down so that our foreheads were resting together.

After the painted scene we created on the couch, Antonio and I went back to the kitchen to make the pizza. I got the dough and plastered the counter with flour before I started kneading it and then started rolling it out. Antonio got the pan out and ran a thin layer of oil on it, to keep the pizza from sticking. I laid the dough out on the pan and added the sauce before adding the meat and vegetables Antonio had cut. After that, I finished with a lot of cheese. I put it in the oven and set the timer for when it was time to check on it, and joined Antonio at the table. He was exhausted, not only from the trip home, but the cry I sent him into. He looked over at me and gave me a soft smile. I returned one to him and he took my hand and kissed the back of it. "I still don't know what to say to you, and that kills me," Antonio said softly.

"That's okay, you don't have to say anything," I said equally as soft.

"But I want to...that's the thing. I want to say so many things, but I just can't think of them," Antonio said staring at our connected hands.

"Hey," I placed a hand on the side of his face and he looked up at me, "you really don't have to say anything. Don't beat yourself up over this."

"I won't, I promise," he said smiling at me again. The timer for the pizza went off and I got up and check on it before setting the timer again. Antonio watched me the whole time, and I knew he wasn't going to keep that promise he just made. I went over to the rack I kept Antonio's wine glasses on and grabbed two of them and set them on the counter. I felt as the heat from his body pressed against my back and his arms wrapped around me. "I love you," he whispered once he rested his head on my shoulder.

"I love you too," I said placing my hands on his. I poured the wine I placed on the counter earlier in the two glasses and turned around so I was facing him. He smiled brightly and leaned down to nuzzle his face against mine. I laughed lightly at his childish behavior, but accepted it nonetheless. It felt good that instead of being able to use words to tell me what he wants to, he's using little gestures.

"Is the pizza almost done?" he asked grabbing his wine and taking a sip.

"It will be once the timer goes off again," I said. He muttered an okay and then ran off somewhere. Since the timer was going off soon, I didn't want to take the chance and follow him. I grabbed a couple small plates and forks and then a couple napkins and set them on the counter, along with a pizza cutter. I heard Antonio come in again, and he took away the plate, forks, napkins and the spare tablecloth and left again. I got the pizza out and started cutting it. As soon as it was cut, I waited for Antonio again to ask him what he was up to. But he just waltzed in and took the pizza and his wine, and told me to follow.

"I set up a nice place to eat dinner," he said as we started up the stairs. He lead me all the way down the hall, and then I realized exactly where we were going. It was the balcony. I smiled and anxiously followed Antonio the rest of the way. Once we passed through the doors, I was greeted by a cool spring night, and the millions of stars in the sky. Antonio smiled my way, and helped me get sat down and ready to eat.

"It's beautiful out here," I said looking over to the fields of tomatoes in Antonio's backyard.

"That's not the only beautiful thing out here," Antonio said winking to me. I felt my face flush for the first time in what seemed like forever, and I looked at the pizza. I took a couple pieces and then gave a couple to Antonio. I couldn't look at him though. We ate in silence for a while, before Antonio grabbed my seat and dragged me over by him.

"What are you doing?" I asked as he smiled at me and took my fork. He cut a piece of my pizza and held it to my lips.

"Just go with it Lovino," he said as he ran the pizza across my lip. I opened my mouth and ate it.

"Why are you feeding me?" I asked as I looked up at him. He fed himself a bite before answering.

"Because it's the romantic thing to do." I shut my mouth and just let Antonio continue feeding me and himself. We ended up finishing the whole pizza, which wasn't that much. Antonio told me to wait here while he took everything back downstairs and washed it and brought back desert. I moved from the table to the swing Antonio had put up a few months ago. We spend a lot of time on this balcony. It was maybe a half an hour when Antonio came back. "Here," he said handling me an ice cream glass. He made sundaes. Well, good.

"Grazie," I said trying a bite.

"Prego," he said back. I looked over at him. "What?"

"Your Italian sounds funny with your accent," I said going back to eating.

"Your Spanish sounds funny with your accent," he said back. I just rolled my eyes and finished my sundae.

"No me gusta hablar español," I started as I looked over at him, "mi piace parlare italiano."

"That's normal. Italian is your first language," he said poking my nose. I was fine with that until I realized my nose was wet, cold, and probably sticky now.

"You put ice cream on my nose," I said dipping my finger in mine.

"Yeah! I did!" he said taking another bite of his. I stuck my finger in his ear and then wiped it off on his pants. He shrieked and started wiping it out of his ear, while laughing I might add. He came over and licked the ice cream off my nose he had put there. And for the second time tonight, I felt my face flush a bright red. "Even in the starlight I can see the intense blush you always have," he said smiling.

"It wouldn't be there if you stopped doing things like that to me," I said wiping my nose on his sleeve.

"But I don't want to stop." He suddenly became serious. The tone of his voice changed. His mood changed. He finished eating and then set his bowl down. He turned until I was sandwiched between his legs and he wrapped his arms around me.

"I have a question," I said after I was done.

"What is it Lovino?" he asked resting his forehead against mine.

"Do you think I'm going to fall out of love with you? Is that why you keep doing things to make me happy but exhaust yourself?" I asked. I couldn't look up at him. Not right now.

"Lovino, I'm going to be honest with you. I don't know what will happen in the future. I don't know if you will always love me. I don't know if our bosses will make it so we never see each other. I don't know what will happen to either one of us, so no. It's not because I think you're going to fall out of love with me. It's because we don't actually know how long our forever will last." Now I guess it was my turn to not be able to speak. I never looked at it this way. He was right though. We didn't know how long our forever will be. I just hope it is forever.

"Let's go take a bath and get ready for bed," I suggested. Antonio smiled at me and then got up to carry our dishes back to the kitchen while I ran the bath. So I did. And then I waited for Antonio to come back.

"Ah, I'm sorry that took so long, Lovino."

"It's okay. Let's get in before the water gets too cold," I said starting to take my clothes off. I felt hands start to help, and then I just let him do it by himself. Soon both of us were bare-ass naked in the middle of the bathroom. Antonio started laughing and then took us over to the bathtub so we could get in. It was a very nice bath, too. Once we finished, we dried off and then went to bed.

The sun woke me up earlier then I wanted it to. I was awake before Antonio, and I wanted to make sure he stayed asleep. He wasn't holding onto me, so I knew getting out of bed would be easy. Once out, I got dressed and went down to make Antonio some breakfast before I left. I also wrote a note, telling him I'd be home again soon. As soon as I had my shoes and coat on, I went back up to the bedroom. Didn't think I wouldn't leave without saying goodbye, did you? I wasn't surprised to see that Antonio was still sleeping. I walked over to him and sat on the edge of the bed. "Antonio?" I shook him softly, and he opened his eyes after a few moments.

"You're leaving already?" he asked leaning up on his elbows.

"Yeah, the sooner I get there, the sooner I can be home again," I told him, as he sat up.

"Alright, I guess that's reasonable. You need to make sure you keep your word and return fastly and safely," he said resting his head on my shoulder. I nodded, and I leaned my head against his.

"I made you some breakfast, so eat it when you get up later," I said softly.

"I will. Gracias, Lovi," he said looking at me. I smiled at him, and leaned forward pressing my lips against his. As soon as it had started, I ended it. God knows if I didn't, I wouldn't leave for another hour or two. "See you in a few days, my love. Be sure to call me when you get to Feli's house."

"I will, don't worry. I'll be calling you a lot. I need a line of sanity when dealing with that idiot...even though you aren't much better," I said laughing lightly.

"Ouch." Antonio placed a hand over his heart and mocked a feeling and look of pain. But he couldn't stop laughing at my comment.

"Well, I should head to Italy now. I'll be back sooner than you think," I said getting up. Antonio laid back down and smiled up at me. After another goodbye kiss (all Antonio's idea...I swear) and I left the house. I started my long, uneventful drive to Venice, to my brother's personal home, to spend God knows how long actually finishing his stupid paperwork. Which, in all actuality, I would be stuck doing alone. Sure, his boss is making him do it and making me help, but really? No, the minute I get there Feliciano is going to think he can just go off and mess around with Germany, and I really hope that didn't sound as suggestive as it did to me. I really hate when that happens. I get thinking about things and it goes really wrong before I can't stop myself. Well, mostly anyway.

I should probably get driving now…

I made it to Venice some time later, and I pulled up to my brother's house. I took a deep breath before I got out of my car and walked up to the front door. I could hear more than one voice in the house, and so I figured Germany was in there. He probably wasn't too happy with Feliciano at this point, so I just waited outside for them to be done talking. I waited around ten minutes before Germany walked outside, and told "Feli" bye before shutting the door and turning around to see me standing there. "Hallo, Romano," he said walking over.

"Ciao." I realized a while ago that I was going to treat Germany with a little more respect. If Feliciano is happy with him, I'm happy that my brother is happy.

"What brings you here?" he asked.

"Our bosses ordered me to help that one," I waved to the house like an idiot, "with his paperwork. So, I came over here after having stayed one night at 'home'."

"Ja, Feli wanted my help, but then he changed his mind and said that you were coming."

"I know, hey Germany?"

"Ja, Romano?"

"About that thing you asked me a while ago...I know what my answer was, and I think I want to change it," I said awkwardly looking up at him.

"Really?" His whole mood seemed to change. I couldn't help but smile. I guess I have really turned soft.

"Well, I am Feliciano's big brother, yes, so naturally of course you would come to me about this. The thing is, Germany, that I just want Feliciano to be happy. I think giving you a second chance is also something that will help with that. I don't want to be a mean little asshole anymore. You aren't even that bad of a guy. So, yes, I really do mean it when I say this. I really want what's best for both of you, and I want you to go ahead and marry my brother," I said looking at him as he actually got tears in his eyes (emotional bastard). It felt good to be able to tell Germany all this.

"I'd be honored to marry your brother, Lovino." I looked up at him, and he was holding a hand out to me, and smiling. The bastard was actually smiling a very broad smile. "And I think second chances are worth it, and maybe even human names should tell people we've actually changed. You really aren't bad either. I'd like to get to know you as a brother-in-law. That would be nice." I took his hand and shook it, and he pulled me in to hug me. I hugged him back half-heartedly, and then he pulled away.

"Thank you, Ludwig. It means a lot to give and be given a second chance." After a while, Ger-Ludwig, left and I went and knocked on the door to my brother's house. I heard him run through his house, and then he flung the door open and hugged me.

"Ve...Lovi! It's nice to see you!" As soon as he got off me, I punched his arm and left him outside and in pain. He deserved it for taking me away from Antonio after we had just gotten to our home in Madrid. I could hear him crying, and I could've cared less. Maybe this will teach him a lesson. I waited for ten minutes before he decided I wasn't coming back or apologizing.

"I just want to get this done. I have somewhere better to be than here doing paperwork." I decided to leave it at that...instead of saying there was someone more important to me than him. I love Antonio, yes, but my brother would always come first. And I am aware that Antonio probably knows this, and that makes it easier.

"I'm sorry I've fallen so behind," he started rubbing his temples, "but I started doing most of it already. Luddy came to visit after being worried about me, since I didn't visit or call for a while, and I told him I'd come home as soon as I was done. Lovino, I know you don't like Ludwig all that much, but I heard part of your conversation with him. It's really nice to hear that you are willing to give him a second chance." Feliciano was being oddly serious, but I didn't want to say anything. Maybe, just like me, he's done a double-take on his personality. Maybe he wants to be known as an actual person instead of the air-head he was.

"Ludwig does seem like a good man, Feliciano. You did good. I'm sure Nonno would be proud," I said smiling at him.

"I bet he'd be proud of both of us, Lovino. You've changed so much. I've heard people tell me that. Especially Big Brother Toni! And yes, I've become more serious, but that doesn't mean there won't be a day or two when I take a break!" he said leading me to the study. We didn't really talk much after that. He was right, though. He did do most of the work. I told him to go get some sleep and that I would finish it, and be in to join him after I was done. I bet he was exhausted. It took me about two hours to finish the rest, and I made Feliciano and I some dinner before retreating to his room for the night. And then I remembered I didn't call Antonio.

"Feli, I made dinner. I have a phone call to make, so I'll be back in a bit." He nodded and started eating before I left his room. I made my way to the living room, and I stood by the window and pulled out my cell phone. I dialed Antonio's number and held the phone up to my ear. After a couple rings, he picked up.

"Hello?"

"Antonio? I kind of forgot to call you when I made it to Venice," I said biting my lip and feeling a little guilty.

"Lovi!~ Ah, that's okay! As long as I know that you're okay now, that's all that matters!" I could just see the smile he was giving me now.

"Alright, that makes me feel better. I have so much to tell you when I get home tomorrow, it's not even funny."

"Tomorrow? You're already coming back so soon?"

"Feliciano had most of the work done when I got here."

"Well, I'm glad!~ But Lovino, you can stay for a while and be with your brother. You do know that's okay with me, right?"

"He hasn't been to Germany in a while. Not even called. Ludwig was here earlier to check on him, and then left."

"Ludwig? You call Germany 'Ludwig' now?"

"Like I said, there's a lot I have to talk to you about."

"I guess you weren't kidding then!~"

"I never kid around about things like this to you, Antonio. You know that."

"Ah, yes. I do know, my love!~ It's still fun to think you do, and make you think so."

"You asshole. That's not funny."

"Sure it is!~ Ahahahahahahahahahaha!~"

"Don't laugh at me bastard! Anyway, I should probably get some sleep so I can drive home tomorrow," I said smiling sadly. I really liked talking to him on the phone like this….sometimes anyway. It was always better to talk to anyone in person.

"Alright, Lovino. I'll let you go then! Goodnight!~ I love you." I could imagine his sad smile as well. I felt bad…

"I love you too, Antonio. See you tomorrow. Goodnight." I hung up and headed back inside to Feliciano's room. He had finished eating and was asleep again by the time I got back. I cleaned up his dirty dishes, ate my food, then washed the dishes before going up and crawling in next to Feliciano. Tomorrow was going to be a long day, that's for sure.

I was woken up the next morning by Feliciano jumping out of bed. He started running around his room, gathering clothes and whatnot, before leaving. I guess he was in a hurry to shower and get going to Germany. While he was in there, I decided I would make us some sandwiches and cut some fruit up for our drives back to our homes away from home. After Feliciano took his shower, I headed up and did the same. We met back in the kitchen for breakfast.

"Good morning, Lovi!" Feliciano said while handing me a cup of coffee.

"Good morning," I mumbled back.

"I'm sorry you had to come save me and do my work," he said looking down at his plate of scrambled eggs and bacon.

"It's alright. Besides, now that it's done, you can go see Ludwig and I can go back home to Antonio."

"That's true!" His mood became so much more chipper after that. We talked about other little things here and there while we finished our breakfast and washed the dishes. We then gathered our things and walked out the front door.

"It was nice seeing you again, Feli. Please, don't be a stranger. I'm sure Antonio would like to see you again soon!" I told him as I opened the passenger door to set my bag down.

"I should be saying the same thing, Lovino. You can visit us in Germany too!"

"Well, We'll have to see about that one." I smiled and walked over to hug him. After that, we both drove our separate ways. Feliciano...heading for Germany, and me back home to Spain. I really couldn't wait to see that bastard again.

(Hello!

Wow, it's been a long while since I updated.

I'm sorry it takes forever, I'm busy with school and work now. I've been trying my hardest to balance everything, so I make sure I have a little free time to be able to type and work on my stories. I'll try to be better about uploading, so I really hope everything is worth the wait. If it isn't...that's okay. Just let me know if you have any problems with it and if you actually like it or not. It's always fun to read what people have to say. I hoped you liked this chapter!

Read on!

~animelover4242564)