Chapter 14

The next morning, Natalie tried to act as if nothing had happened. She went over labs with Frank and Miles, and chatted briefly with Eva about a press conference but inside she felt hot, as if a big spotlight was on her and everyone knew what had happened last night. From the reactions of everyone around her she started feeling reassured that all was well, until Jonah walked into the lab. She had a hard time looking at him, but all he could do was smile at her. When they had a minute to themselves, Jonah assured her that it would be their secret and that the next time they kissed it would be because she wanted it. "And it won't be long, I suspect." He was so sure of himself, and Natalie didn't know whether to slap him or laugh at him. She started to say something to him, but was interrupted by Eva with a message from the director for a status report. She reverted to professional mode and started issuing instructions and orders for the team.

By the end of their fourth day, they had found the cause of the illness in the children and all were responding well to the treatment Natalie prescribed. It felt good to have been able to help these families and she truly understood why Stephen was so intense. His decisions affected the outcomes for so many and the weight of making a bad decision always loomed large over all of them but as the leader of the team the ultimate responsibility was his and he had the tendency to take defeats very hard.

Stephen. Natalie felt as if she had betrayed him, but what did she exactly do? For that matter what did he do, what did they ever do? Here was Jonah, smart, handsome, funny, self assured, just the kind of man she needed and he was most definitely interested in her. He made her laugh and made her feel beautiful and wanted; it was hard to resist that kind of attention. "But is he who you want?" The voice was back. The question would not go away so she finally decided she had to face the man who was causing all the turmoil inside of her and get an answer one way or another so that she could move on. She remembered where Stephen said he would be, and told the team to go on with out her, she would join them later.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" Jonah offered.

"No, I'll be ok, see you tomorrow."

Natalie borrowed a car from the hospital director, got directions to the beach house and set off to find Stephen. She needed to stop pretending that she didn't love him and find out once and for all if he even cared about her. It was better than not knowing and it wasn't fair to Jonah.

It wasn't a long drive to Stephen's house but it seemed like forever. Natalie cursed the traffic; the older couple in front of her who wouldn't go over the speed limit, anything that made her have to slow down. There were times when she thought "this is crazy, I am not one to chase after men, I should just turn around", but the voice would not let her. She found the house, but waited a few minutes before getting out of the car.

Finally, summoning up the courage, she got out, walked up to the front door, and rang the bell. "What am I doing? What am I going to say?" She suddenly felt sick and turned to go when the door opened. Lisa was on the other side. She felt her face flush as she tried to think of a reason for her visit. Jack also appeared at the door. "Hi Natalie," he said, are you coming to visit dad?" "Ah, uh, well sort of… we're working on a case nearby and I thought Dr. Connor might want to…." She tried desperately to find something to say that would sound remotely plausible, but mercifully, Lisa let her off the hook. "He's not here, but come in, we have some crabs in the pot, you're welcome to join us." "Oh, no I don't want to impose, I'll just talk to Dr. Connor when he gets back to work." She said a quick good-bye, and practically ran to her car, wanting to get out of there as soon as she could.

Tears of embarrassment filled her eyes. Well, at least she knew where she stood with Stephen. He and Lisa were obviously working things out and she had no right to interfere. She sighed deeply. "What was I thinking, why am I such a fool?" She needed to forget about Stephen, and maybe Jonah would be the one to help her forget. He was obviously interested, she liked him, and in time she was sure she could grow to love him. She kept saying it over and over to her self so as to convince herself that it would all work out. The drive back was a long and arduous one.

Natalie turned into the parking lot and headed into the hospital to give the keys back to the director. She called for a cab, and went to the hospital coffee shop to wait.