A/N: Parody on the delightful song "Long-Legged Guitar-Pickin' Man" by Johnny and June Carter Cash. If you haven't heard it yet, I suggest you rectify your woeful musical deprivation at once. Even if you fall into the hating-of-old-country-music category, I guarantee it will make you laugh.
Erik:
We will astonish Paris...
Just you wait and see!
Christine:
Oh, non, Angel mine, I just don't see how that could be—
Erik:
Oh, you doubting woman!
Christine:
You long-legged fiddle-playing man!
Both:
Well, we can work this out
Erik:
Oui, oui, mam'selle, I think we can…
I bullied both the managers
To make sure of your success—
Christine:
How on earth am I supposed to sing in this tight dress?
Erik:
Oh, you complaining woman!
Christine:
You long-legged fiddle-playing man!
Both:
Well, we can work this out…
Erik:
Oui, oui, mam'selle, I think we can…
I bought you all these flowers
To brighten up the room—
Christine:
I'll fall into a sneezing fit
If you don't remove them soon!
Erik:
Oh, you ungrateful woman!
Christine:
You long-legged fiddle-playing man!
Both:
Well, we can work this out…
Erik:
Oui, oui, mam'selle, I think we can…
I hired us a carriage to go riding 'round the Bois—
Christine:
I'd rather walk around and then go eat some vichyssoise…
Erik:
Oh, you finicky woman!
Christine:
You long-legged fiddle-playing man!
Both:
Well, we can work this out…
Erik:
Oui, oui, mam'selle, I think we can…
(spoken)
Oh, I love that golden hair of yours…
Christine:
You're a long-legged fiddle-playing man!
Erik:
And I'm going to play my fiddle for you now…
Christine:
You're a mad fiddle-player!
Erik (sighing):
Ah, you sweet thing…