Warnings: Language, Sexual situations, Yaoi (M/M)

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and Kingdom Hearts belong to Square Enix and Disney, not me.

' I'm sorry...'

Cloud sat in the waiting room, with one of his hands balled into a tight fists at his side, while the other one held tightly onto the ankh necklace as he tried to stay still. He had been waiting for a little over an hour, with no word on the condition of Zack.

He couldn't get the image of Zack bent over, tears in his eyes as he spoke those two little words, blood running down down his chin...

He looked so scared.

Cloud squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, trying to forget what he had seen, but he knew it wouldn't work. That image would haunt him for years to come.

Cloud was just grateful that Zack's next door neighbor had been walking their dog and had seen what was happening. They called the emergency number while Cloud stayed beside Zack, willing him to wake-up and say everything was okay. He hated how he had frozen up when Zack needed him, hated how all he could do was stand there while the paramedics swarmed him, and asked Cloud questions to which he couldn't answer.

'Whats his middle name? His blood type? Had he been acting strange before hand? How long had he been showing symptoms like he was going to faint?'

All he could do was shake his head and say ' I don't know'.

But oddly, all the questions stopped when they found his file on the computer in the emergency vehicle, and Cloud was given a few sympathetic looks by a few of the personal, and the neighbor.

"What the hell is going on?" Cloud growled out, while standing up. He started to pace the length of the waiting room, avoiding eye contact with the nurse sitting at the reception desk.

"Don't tell me what I can and can't do! Quick, Seph, push him out of the way or something, yo!"

Cloud stopped his pacing and looked at the door. That voice was very familiar.

Soon a spikey haired red head was barreling through the door, a look of annoyance mixed with worry on his face. A taller man with long silver hair was glaring over his shoulder at a security guard.

Cloud felt like a weight had been lifted from his chest at the sight of them, but it didn't compare to the relief he felt when he saw a smaller, brown haired woman apologizing to the security guard.

"Hey man, what happened?" Reno asked, rushing up to Cloud when he saw him.

Cloud looked up at Reno, trying to find his voice. He would really rather not break down in front of all of them. " He and I were outside, and everything was fine but then Zack—he started-- well he looked a little off, and needed to support himself against a tree. I kept asking him if something was wrong but he kept brushing it off. But then-- then he coughed, and all this... this blood came up. And then he fell..."

It was no use, Cloud could feel his eyes stinging with unshed tears. "I don't know whats going on."

Aerith came up grabbed Cloud, pulling him into a tight embrace, and Cloud held on to her for dear life.

Sephiroth sat down on one of the plastic chairs, and ran a hand through his hair. Cloud had never seen him look so unprepared.

Meanwhile Reno started to pace around, muttering things under his breath like 'this wasn't suppose to happen' and 'I thought he had more time then this, the doctors said so.'

Cloud released his grip on Aerith and cut in front of Reno. "What do you mean ' he had more time then this'?"

Reno stopped mid rant, his eyes softening as he looked at Cloud. "... Cloud... Zack...well... he's sick. I mean really sick."

Aerith continued when Reno turned away from Cloud, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

Cloud was so confused. 'Really sick?'. How did they know he was really sick?

"What the hell is going on here?" Cloud growled out, turning to Aerith.

Aerith grabbed Cloud's hand and squeezed it slightly. "Zack has cancer."

Cloud thought he was going to fall into a black hole. Everything started to dim around him, and he didn't know if there was anything below him but darkness. "What...?"

Even his own voice sounded far off and distant to himself. He wasn't even sure he had said anything.

'Zack has cancer' It kept running through his mind, over and over again. Aerith's kind, sincere voice turned into that of venom and hate.

Cloud ripped his hand away from Aerith's grasp and turned around.

"I am so sorry Cloud..." She whispered, tentatively touching his shoulder.

"What kind of cancer...?"

Aerith didn't hesitate in answering. "It's brain cancer, a really bad kind too. The survival rate it really low... Zack doesn't have much longer."

Cloud could hear Aerith trying not to cry, but it wasn't working. He turned around quickly and wrapped his arms around Aerith. "How much longer?"

"A month at best." a young doctor replied, walking into the waiting room.

This couldn't be happening, this shouldn't be happening. This was Zack they were talking about, he didn't deserve this! He should have a long happy life, he should get to have kids, see the world, or at least graduate from god damn school! But he wasn't...Zack was going to—no, don't think about that. Cloud wouldn't let them say that, he wasn't going to let himself say that. Zack wasn't going to die; Zack was going to do all the things he wanted to do, and live a long fulfilled life. No way in hell would something like cancer bring Zack down, no way in hell.

Cloud looked at the doctor, keeping a firm arm around Aerith. Reno came up from behind Cloud, squeezing his shoulder slightly, also looking at the doctor. Sephiroth stayed rooted in his seat, his fists clenched, his knuckles going white.

" Whats going to happen to him in that time?" Sephiroth questioned.

Cloud really didn't want to know, and tried to block out what the doctor was saying, but to no avail.

" He will get more and more headaches, which will turn into the occasional fit. After that he will develop hemiparesis--"

" Whats that?" Reno cut in.

"It's the partial paralysis of one side of the body. One of the more noticeable changes will be memory loss. He has held it off for a while,which shocks us, but soon he will start to forget things, simple things at first, but it will get worse... then—well, he will pass--"

The doctor was cut off from what he was saying when Sephiroth abruptly sat up and kicked the chair, sending it clattering down the waiting room. He then paused, breathing heavily before he trudged out of the room, slamming the doors open in the process. The nurse at the desk jumped slightly, only now looking up from her paper work.

The doctor patiently waited while the outburst happened. He must be used to it by now, Cloud thought.

"I'm so very sorry." he finally said. "He's awake right now, you can go see him if you like. But only two are a loud in at a time." he was about to leave before he paused and turned around. "Do you know where his parents are? We haven't been able to contact them..."

"They're visiting his aunts right now... I'll give you the number." Aerith replied, walking away from Cloud and heading over to the reception desk.

Cloud and Reno both just stood there, looking at the double doors that would lead them to Zack.

"You should go in first... Aerith and I will wait here...Sephiroth will come back later, he just needs to calm down." Reno pushed Cloud towards he doors gently.

Cloud didn't want to go though. He didn't want to see Zack in a hospital bed. He knew the minute he saw Zack, it would be real. This horrible nightmare would all be real.

But Zack needed him. This was no time to be selfish.

Cloud slowly started forward, listening to the clunk of his shoes on the ground, and the hammering of his heart in his chest. It seemed like a eternity before he reached the room Zack was in, and even longer before he actually reached for the doorknob.

Cloud opened the door closing his eyes for a moment.

"Hey..."

Cloud opened his eyes when he heard Zack's raspy, weak voice.

There, lying in the cold, white hospital sheets was Zack. He looked pale, and a little worn, but still the same old Zack. But there were wires and tubes. He had an I.V slowly dripping, giving Zack strength, while a few wires hooked him up to the heart monitor, it's beeping the only sound in the room.

"Oh god..." Cloud whimpered, rushing towards Zack. He grabbed onto Zack's hand, squeezing it and probably causing Zack some pain, but he didn't show it. He bent down, kissing Zack's cheek before pulling back, and starting to comb Zack's long, black spiky hair. "Why didn't you tell me?" He whispered through tears. It was no use holding them back now.

"I didn't want something like this hanging over us, hanging over the time we had together. I wanted our time to be special..."

Cloud shook his head, and blinked a few times, trying to clear his vision. "You should have told me..."

Zack took his hand away from Cloud's and reached up, wiping away Cloud's tears. "Don't cry... please don't cry."

Cloud looked down at Zack and saw tears in his eyes as well. "Can't you... can't you fight it?"

Zack shook his head. "I wish I could, believe me, I wish for nothing more then being able to fight it, but it's to strong for me."

"No, no it's not. Zack, you...you can't leave...you can't leave me! What will I do? What will I do without you?" The tears were flowing freely, and Cloud didn't think he would ever be able to stop. He gazed down at the floor, not wanting to look at Zack.

"Live."

Cloud snorted slightly.

Zack suddenly reached out and grabbed onto Cloud's hand holding it in a vice like grip. "Look at me."

He hesitantly looked up, and locked eyes with Zack. "You have to live out your life, and live it to the fullest okay? Just think of your necklace alright? It means 'life' and I want you to have one after I am gone..."

Cloud nodded, reaching up to hold onto the necklace. "They say...they say you only have a month left. God, a month isn't long enough! I'm not ready to let you leave."

Zack then smiled, still holding onto Cloud's hand, though not as hard. "Hey, I once heard a quote and it went something like this; ' I believe imagination is more important then knowledge-- myth is more potent then history--dreams are more powerful then facts-- hope always triumphs over experience-- laughter is the cure for grief—love is stronger then death.'. I believe in what that man has to say, so as long as you and everyone else who loves me continue to love me, I will never be gone, Cloud. I will never leave you. You just won't see me for a while, thats all."

" ' I am ready to meet my maker, Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter'... Winston Churchill." Cloud whispered, playing with Zack's hand, smiling slightly. "I think thats pretty fitting for you."

Zack laughed, a strong healthy sounding laugh that brought warmth back into Cloud.

"Thats the spirit. Now lets not be sad, we still have a little while left together. How about you go buy me some flowers, thats what boyfriends are suppose to do. God knows this place could use some colour."

Cloud laughed slightly. "How come in the worst situations imaginable, you can make me laugh?"

"It's because I am amazing." Zack simply replied.

XX

"Are you afraid?"

"Hm?"

"Are you afraid of dying...?"

Zack stopped flipping through his magazine to look at Cloud, who was sitting on a chair beside his hospital bed. Zack had been there for a week now, and every day Cloud came to visit. His family was constantly in there as well, and for that Zack was grateful. He was doing pretty good the doctors told him. He had only lost feeling in his right hand for a few moments before it came back, and only one fit (although it happened when his mother was with him).

"... yeah, I am pretty damn scared." he replied, not wanting to sugar coat things.

"...do you believe in heaven?"

Zack looked out the window of his room and sighed. "Maybe... I don't know. I would like for there to be something out there, someplace to have an adventure--" Cloud smiled. Zack was still thinking about having an adventure, even when faced with death. "-- But...I really don't think there is. Guess I will find out soon enough though, eh?"

Cloud looked down at his shoes and sighed heavily, running a hand through is unruley spikes. "I guess so..."

He closed his eyes and held his head in his hands, trying to pretend it wasn't real. For a moment he believed it. Zack was fine. He was flipping cheerfully through his magazine, and soon someone would come to say they could leave now. They could get the hell away from this place, and never have to come back. He was planning what they'd do with the rest of their day, when he heard Zack make a small grunting noise. His head quickly shot up to see his boyfriend looking confused and scared, as he held his hand under his chin to catch the blood that had started to come up.

Cloud was at the door in an instant, throwing it open and hurtling into the hallway. He knew where to find the nurses now, and was used to finding them in a hurry. In no time at all they were back in the room, and the nurse had everything under control. She quickly dabbed the remaining blood from Zack's mouth, and soothed him with a comforting rub on the back, and a calming tone. Zack seemed to feel better very quickly, but Cloud was left feeling frazzled, helpless, and useless. He stood awkwardly at Zack's bedside feeling numb, and empty.

"Hey, you okay?" Zack asked.

"Yeah, yeah I am fine... just thinking." Cloud muttered.

Zack nodded and went back to reading his magazine.

"Hey, this looks nice!" Zack beamed, "Look, Olympia Cruise Lines is having a special anniversary cruise. Looks like it's gonna be pretty fancy. o-lym-pi-a... yeh, I bet it's nice there. I have always wanted to go to the ocean." Zack was so proud and happy with his discovery, that Cloud didn't bothering trying to remind him he HAD been there, had lived there and loved it. Besides, there wasn't enough energy in the world to keep teaching Zack his own past, and the hurt and confusion is Zack's eyes was always too much to bear.

Cloud walked over to the window, and leaned wearily against the frame. Several minutes later, just as Cloud was sure he couldn't take the sound of flipping magazine pages anymore, there was a soft knock on the door, and Cloud turned around to see Aerith standing in the doorway. She was holding an armful of white lilies wrapped in blue paper with a pink bow tied around them. She smiled sympathetically at the lines of weariness on the blonde boys face.

She walked farther into the room, towards Zack's bed, a large warm smile on her face as soon as she saw Zack look up at her. "I brought you these Zack, because I know you don't have any others right now, and they're really such pretty flowers that I know you'd want them even if the room was so full of flowers you couldn't move." She laughed a little, and gently placed the flowers where they could be easily seen, without Zack having to turn his head too much. She patted down her skirt, and directed her attention to Cloud.

"I also thought, that maybe you might like to go get some fresh air, and have a little break Cloud. I'll stay and catch up with Zack."

"Oh, that'd be nice, I like people who bring me flowers," Zack grinned "but, can I ask first... who are you?"

Authors Note: So I know a lot of you guys are going to be angry at me for this, but I do have my reasons. I actually wrote this entire story to help myself cope with the loss of my grandparents, as well as deal with the fact that my Dad had cancer. He actually had it a few years ago, but it's always been looming over the family since then. But yes, my Grandparents passed away in December and January and I thought that a good way to deal with all of it would be to write out something. And then ta da! My fanfiction came into being. It originally just started out as an idea about someone dealing with the death of a lover because of cancer, and then I wanted to put Zack and Cloud in as the roles because I love that pairing to death. Also, the song 'I grieve' by Peter Gabrielle really inspired me. Anyway, enough of my rambling. I have one more chapter and then an epilogue for you guys, and I hope you all stick around to read those last few chapters and don't huck snowballs at me! I really appreciate all your guy's support! Please, if you have the time, a review would mean a lot to me! Love all of you guys! -hugs-