I am so sorry for the long wait! I just had no time for writing. I truly wish I had more time for my hobby but at the moment it is not in my cards :(

I hope you like it :)

Chapter 13: When no one cares, I do:

Killian:

I walked into the station, carrying a tablet filled with cocoa and coffee. Moreover, I had a bag full of donuts around my wrist. It was still early, so it was very quiet. I tried to make as little sound as possible, not wanting to wake Mary Margaret if she was still asleep. I had visited everyday since she had been arrested. It was not easy for her - I could tell - and she was beginning to lose hope, growing more desperate with every second that was passing. And who could condemn her? The whole town thought she murdered her lover's wife.

I could not understand how anyone could believe she had it in her to kill someone. I knew little about Mary Margaret since we had not been very close before Emma came into both our lives, but I was convinced that someone was framing her. It was just something I could feel in my guts, that this woman was innocent. The times I had helped out at school, be it to repair some things or building up the scenery for a school-play, I got the chance to see her interact with her students. She was treating everyone of her pupils equally, she was understanding, motivating and encouraging them. In my opinion, she was the most devoted teacher the school had to offer. Her students looked up to her.

Even more, whenever someone in Storybrooke needed help, Mary Margaret was the first to volunteer. She baked cookies and cakes to sell them to help a family in distress who could not afford the rent they owed Mr. Gold.

And now everyone turned their backs on her. The parents that had praised her for her good work, the neighbors that she gave her savings to save them from getting kicked out and her friends that would not even visit her. Everyone had lost faith in her, but not me nor Emma nor Henry.

She needed someone to believe in her, to treat her normally, that's why I came everyday to check on her (and of course, it was not that selfless since I got to see Emma as well). So it was a win-win situation. But I had begun to see, why Emma and Mary Margaret shared such an intense friendship. They were like sister, they were family. They would do everything for each other. While Emma complaint that she did not get anywhere in Mary Margaret's case which she desperately wanted since she could not stand seeing her friend behind bars, Mary Margaret urged Emma to work less, so that she could relax and enjoy time with Henry (and me).

Mary Margaret was already awake. She was starring at the wall opposite from her. I guess, there was not much to do in here. I had to ask her if I should bring her something to entertain her, maybe a book or magazines. I took a stool from one of the many desks at the station and moved it just before the prison cell. Mary Margaret's brows were furrowed, she looked like she had not slept very well. „Morning, Mary Margaret." I gave her a bright smile She turned to face me and returned my smile weakly. „Morning, Killian." „Want some coffee or some cocoa?" „Cocoa sounds perfect." „I made sure Granny added the cinnamon." A shadow crossed Mary Margaret's face. Granny had been her friend too and Ruby. None of them had shown up. Not even David, the man she (had?) loved. They knew Mary Margaret better than me and still they believed more in a stupid test than in their friend. It made me so furious since it was not even proven that it was Kathryn's heart. I handed her the cocoa and offered her a donut which she refused.

„Would you like me to bring you some books or magazines? I could buy some if you gave me a list which one's you liked. Or maybe an iPod filled with your favorite music? I cannot understand why Emma has not already come up with that idea. It must be boring in here." „Oh, don't blame her. She already works so much to prove my innocence. But books sound nice." „Any wishes?" „I'll read anything you give me." „I'll stop by in the afternoon to give them to you." She smiled. „I would suggest you bringing me them tomorrow since you already visited today but I don't want to bereave you from seeing Emma." „You read me like an open book, don't you?" Mary Margaret chuckled. „It's not that hard to guess your feelings for Emma. So, because it's just you and me…" My heart skipped a beat. Emma was not here and I had already looked forward to meet her, every cell in my body had awaited with anticipation to be near her again. „Emma's not here?"

„Nope, she went somewhere half an hour ago. But it gives me the chance to give you the TALK since Emma has no parents, I will do that! I don't have to tell you, that Emma is special and that she needs to be treated like that, right?" I could not help myself but smile at her. No, of course she did not have to tell me that. You had to be blind to not see that Emma was the most interesting, beautiful and above all unique woman there ever was. She was one of a kind. I wanted to know everything of her, I wanted to see every scar of her's to understand where she came from. I wanted to give her all I had to offer just to steal a smile from her. I of all people knew I would never met another person like her. Mary Margaret was right. Emma was special.

„So I'll move forward. Emma has not much time left, so she deserves to be happy for the time she has left. Just don't break her heart, okay?" „I would never dare to hurt her." „Good." She took another sip from her cocoa. She put it aside and starred at me. „I know you visit me daily because of Emma and I really appreciate it …" „Mary Margaret, I consider you as my friend. So, no, it is not just because of Emma. I have begun to care about you too." „Even better. Then I would like to ask a favor from you - as a friend." „I am listening." „I want to make sure, Emma enjoys the rest of her life in Storybrooke, spends the last of her days with Henry, the son she only recently has found again and with you, the man she has learnt to love." Again there were thousand of butterflies in my stomach. Did Mary Margaret really think that Emma loved me? Wasn't it too soon to tell? But wasn't it the same with me? I have already admitted falling in love with her. Maybe I lied, maybe I already was in love. But I could not understand where Mary Margaret was trying to get with her speech.

„I want you to persuade her to cede my case." „What?" „Killian, I am screwed, as much as I believe in Emma, even she cannot do wonders. I am the only suspect, it was MY box. MY fingerprints were on MY box. The wife of MY lover has disappeared and a human heart was in MY box. No matter how much Emma works, she cannot fix this. Someone wants to destroy my life but that someone won't destroy her life as well." „Mary Margaret, you know as much as I do that Emma is the most stubborn person on the planet. She promised to prove your innocence and she won't stop until she has achieved that. She would not listen to me, she would yell at me for even suggesting such a thing. You are like family to her." „I know, but I am so worried about her." „Why?" She now looked a little bit surprised. „Hm, must be because you are viewing everything through rose-colored glasses that you didn't notice, but she looks exhausted. She looks so pale, the dark circles under her eyes tell me that she has not slept well in days and not enough. Her clothes look oversized, she cannot be eating much. She needs to cede my case in order to prolong her life as long as possible." She was right, I had not noticed. I blamed myself for being so blind due to the butterflies in my stomach. What did I expect? She would not miraculously get better, just because she was with me. I had been too selfish. Our dates (if you could even call them that since most of the time we only briefly met) just were stressing her more. I had just wanted to spend time with her. I sucked the rest of energy she had left out of her. I should have been more careful. I should have made sure, she ate and slept enough. But I could not because my feelings for her where standing in the way.

„I know that she promised me to solve my case but before that, I gave her my word to take care of her and that is why she needs to let go of my case." I was going to take better care of her. And the solution for this dilemma was forming in my head. I would never be able to convince Emma to give up on Mary Margaret. But she would be working less.

„Mary Margaret …" „Gold is going to be my lawyer. He was here a few days ago. Everyone is afraid of that man, he nearly punched a guy to death and he still is not in jail, he has to do his job good, don't you think?" I grabbed her hand through the bars. She looked at me startled. „It was the right decision to accept his offer to represent you. As much as I despise that man, you are right, he is good at what he is doing although I can't see how one man can be a shop owner and a lawyer but that is not the point. The point is, that no matter what I would say, she would never abandon your case, no even if I locked her in a room, Emma would still find a way to help you. But I promise you to look after her, she won't be working as much because…" My head was spinning for a solution and then my mouth spoke words for a plan that had already vaguely formed in my head. „I am going to help her with her case." „But you have a job… I can't expect that from you." „Mary Margaret, there is not much car-repairing going on in Storybrooke, no one ever leaves the goddamned place, most people travel by foot to reach their work-places and so on. The workshop can spare me." „You sure?" „Yes. And now have a donut, you have to be hungry."

I would be her deputy. That way I kept her from working overtime, I would provide her with food - and she would have no choice, she had to eat whether she was hungry or not. And we could spend time together without robbing her of the little time she had left to relax. I was a genius.

Now I only had to convince Emma of my brilliant plan.

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I waited at the diner for her. An untouched burger in front of me. I was just too nervous to eat since I had no idea how she would react to my offer. My hands were drenched in sweat, I rubbed them of on my jeans. Would she think I was insane for applying as her deputy? Would she consider me good enough for the job? My god, it was so important for me that she thought of me as being worthy.

I was so lost in thought, that I startled up, when she sat herself across from me. „Sorry, I am late but you won't believe it…" She looked rather pleased. I was guessing she had good news. She looked around, I figured she was trying to find out if somebody was watching us. She leaned closer. „I searched the apartment for signs of a break-in. But there were none. In Mary Margaret's room there is a heating vent, I looked into it and I found a knife. I am guessing it is the weapon used in the commission of crime." „And why does that make you happy, love? Isn't it another clue therefore that Mary Margaret did it?" „Yeah, that's what I thought too. But then Henry came around with a bunch of keys that looked like out of a Halloween-store. He claimed Regina could enter every door in Storybrooke with them. At first, I thought he was crazy but then … we tried a few of them out and one fit. Regina is setting her up. I cannot prove it right now, but at least I know is responsible for this mess." I took her hand. „That's wonderful, Emma."

She smiled at me. I took a closer look at her. MM was right. Emma really looked exhausted. How could I have overlooked that? Her health should be the only thing that matters to me. I had to put her above everything else.

My thumb brushed over her skin. „Want some of my food? I am not hungry and it would be a shame to throw it away." „Not hungry? You barely ate anything." I pushed the dish over to her. „Well, while beginning to eat, I realized I was not even hungry, so please, help yourself." „If you insist." She took the burger and bit into it. I watched as she slowly ate the whole thing. After she finished, I asked her if she liked a dessert. „No, I am so stuffed. I can't have another bite. It was delicious, thanks for inviting me. So why did you want to meet today?" „Do I need a reason to meet you, love? I simply enjoy your company." She again leaned closer towards me. I met her halfway and we shared a kiss. Every new kiss was unique, every new kiss felt even better than the last, every new kiss was making my head go dizzy. What was so special about that kiss was, that she did it in public. She did not want to hide the thing that was going on between us. This feeling, that she made us public, was the best in the world. We sure as hell would be the talk of tomorrow but neither of us cared. We did not need anyone's approval, well maybe from Mary Margaret (which she already gave me today) and Henry (who was my ‚bro' for many years, so I did not think it would be a problem). „How was your day?"

I only waited for this question. It was the first step to making it her idea to hire me as her deputy. I only hoped she would suggest it since otherwise I had to ask and if she refused me then, I would be devastated. „Other than visiting Mary Margaret it was kind of boring. Just like usual. There are not that many days that a beautiful strangers shows up, runs over the ‚Welcome to Storybrooke' sign and needs her car to be repaired. I most of the time just sit around and wait for the hours to pass."

„So you kind of hate your job?" „Yeah, I would be open for new things but there are not that many job opportunities in Storybrooke." I held my breath. Now was the moment she could offer me a job, just like she did with Ruby. She again took my hands in hers, we stared into each others eyes. I tried to read her, tried to find the question I was waiting for in her eyes.

„Well, I guess, I still have some money left in the budget since Ruby refused. So if you…" „I do." Now she chuckled. „So this was your plan all along?" „I would take the job even if you did not pay me." „I do enjoy your company, too." „What time do I start tomorrow, boss? Uh, that sounds so sexy." „Whenever you like, my handyman." „You wound me, love. I have so much more to offer than grabbing you something to eat", which I would, every single day, „and sitting by the phone to await it's ringing. I thought I was going to be your deputy." „I was just kidding, Killian. Of course, you will be deputy."

„Good. So now that we cleared this. Wanna see what's on Netflix?" I raised my eyebrow. „Sure." I payed the bill and we left the dinner. While walking we were holding hands. It was such a simple gesture and nonetheless, it did wonders to my soul. She was healing me. She was giving me hope, that someone like me deserved a happy ending too. She was the light in my darkness. She was everything to me.

„It was nice of you to bring Mary Margaret the books. I had not even considered how boring your time in prison could be and I of all people should know." „Don't blame yourself, love. You just have a lot on your mind lately." „But still, not everyone would treat Mary Margaret like you do, the supposedly-murderess." „You and I both know that she did not do it." She stopped. „You believe she is innocent?" „Of course, I do." She pulled me towards her and crushed her lips against mine.

In that moment, I saw a little boy in much too big clothes running. He was running through a crowd of people, not caring if he bumped into them, not caring if they yelled at him. All he wanted was to reach the ship in time. He needed to stop him! He could not leave them. He desperately tried to speed up but the crowd would not let him. But then he finally saw the ocean before him. He had reached the port.

He ran to the end of the jetty, only to realize that he was too late. The ship had already left. He could see in the far distance. The little boy screamed at the top of his lungs, wishing that he would hear it and hoping to make him feel ashamed. „DADDY, you are a coward!" He could not the tears from coming. His father had promised to stay this time, to change for them! Only empty words. The boy should have known better, he had been disappointed by his father so many times and yet, he still had believed him. He swore to himself that he would never make that mistake again.

He picked up a stone and threw it as far as possible. Again and again he searched for things he could threw after his miserable father that had been drunkard all his life, wasting the little money they had. His father was the most miserable one there was and still he had loved him.

The tears still were falling, but suddenly someone put a hand on his shoulder. The boy turned around, facing an older boy with curly hair and familiar blue eyes. „There is no use in grieving his loss. We are better of without him, brother. I am going to take care of you and mother, I promise." The boy, hugged his brother desperately. „I will help taking care for mommy too, Liam, I am almost grown up too!" „Of course you will, Killian."

So now, I finally had the answer to who Liam was to me. He was my brother. A brother that I had had no idea of, a brother that has been taken away from me by a goddamned curse. But I was going to find him! Storybrooke was not that big, I would find him sooner or later.

Emma broke the kiss. „You okay?" „Yeah, just a little bit out of breath, that's all." I smiled at her. Maybe Liam could wait. At this moment Emma was my number one priority. I would never again dare to make the mistake to put other things before her. I needed to come clean with the mistakes of my past. „I recall a Netflix session was promised?" She snuggled into me and we walked towards my apartment.

Suddenly, her phone was ringing. She looked apologetically at me and picked it up. „Sheriff Swan?" Her shoulders were sinking with every second she was listening. Her eyes looked frightened and big. No good news. „Thank you for calling me."

Silence. I already could tell it had to do something with Mary Margaret. „Love?" „The DNA matched. Kathryn is dead." I pulled her into a hug. I brushed over her head. „We are going to prove them all wrong, together! We will find a way to get Mary Margaret out of there."

„I don't see how. I should have let her leave when there still was the chance. Now there is enough evidence to move forward with her case. She will be judged, she will be sentenced. All because of me. Because I thought, I could help her, because I thought, it was the right thing to do." „You did the right thing. Emma, running away would not have helped her. She would have been on the run her whole life. They would have searched for her, informing every airport, every station and every bus terminal. She would not have had a chance. But we still can help her. You have to have faith in yourself, Emma."

„You are right. I cannot give up on her, but I have to inform her of the latest news." „Go, you should tell her alone." „Thank you. I'll see you tomorrow at work!" She gave me a quick kiss and left.

I resumed my walk home, when suddenly I was approached by someone. My first look was directed at his eyes, searching for my own in them. I had promised to put her first and I would stick to that promise, but if I found him by accent, there was nothing wrong with it. But it was just the writer, the stranger that had wanted to buy Emma a drink. I did not like him, I hope he could tell.

„Killian, right?" „Yeah and you are?" „August. I had a little talk with Henry…" „You should stay away from the boy." „I won't hurt him. It's just … I only want to break the curse." I looked at him surprised. „Yes, I am a believer. We have to get Emma to believe if we want everyone to get their memories back." „What is in it for you?" „Redemption." „Why do you talk to me about this?" „Because you have a connection with her and you know that the curse is real. I thought I could simulate a little magic in wondrously bringing back this", he handed me a book - HENRY'S book - „back to Emma, but I have come to realize, that you are more effective. You can make her remember." „What do I do with the book?" „Figuring out who you truly are." I stepped closer to him. „Look, lass, I don't know if I even want that. I am happy with my life just as it is the way now." „Hm… but don't you think that one day you are going to ask yourself if the elderly woman walking next to you, could be your mother? Or if the dead man appearing in the newspaper could have been your brother?"

He hit a sore spot. „And don't you think Emma deserves to be reunited with her family too? By breaking the curse we could even prove the innocence of your friend in jail. If everyone remembered, no one would accuse her."

He pushed the book against my chest. „Take it." „You don't understand anything. I won't waste her time and fill her head with hopes of finding her family if she is going to be disappointed again. She cannot take it anymore. There is just no time left with breaking the curse. It is wrong." „What do you mean, there is no time left?" I just turned around and walked away. „KILLIAN. If you won't make her believe, I will! And then do you really think she will stay with you if she finds out, you knew all along and did nothing to break the curse? To reunite her with her family?"

I did not look back. I nearly ran home. I did not want to face August again. I knew he had a point but I still thought it was the right thing to keep it from her. I could not see how she could break a curse in a world without magic. She had enough to carry on her shoulders. In my apartment I hid the book, where no one would ever find it.

I stepped into the shower and hot water was flowing over my body. I only heard the sound the water was making. My heartbeat had quickened. I felt like betraying her. I did not want to keep a secret from her but to be honest, would she really believe me, if I told her the truth? She was convinced Henry had a vivid imagination, she thought the curse was just a phantasm, the whole theory a way for Henry to deal with his mother. There was magic right before her eyes - the keys that had worked when she used them, she, the savior.

Even if I decided to tell her about my memories, she would call me crazy, she would drag me to Archie. I could not see, how I could convince her of something I could not even understand myself yet. I had had this whole other life, that I don't have memories of. I surely was in Henry's book, maybe even a famous character that everyone knows of, maybe I was part of a fairytale that everyone was read to as a kid.

I went into my bedroom. I tried to fall asleep but sleep was not granted to me. A voice always whispering in my head, that she deserved to know, that she had a right to choose on her own. That I was only afraid of loosing her due to my ‚vivid imagination'. I would loose her soon enough.

Could anyone condemn me for not telling her? I loved her so much, I could not imagine her turning her back on me. It would break my heart. It would shatter me. It would destroy me.

So I ignored those voices and I justified my actions by claiming I only wanted to protect her from anymore pain. In truth, I was just a coward that was not sure of her feelings to me, that doubted our relationship survived a blow like this.

But what if August was right? What if we could save Mary Margaret by breaking the curse? Wasn't it worth a chance? And didn't Emma deserve to get to know her parents before she … would be taken from all of us.

The whole night I tossed and turned, debating in my head what the right decision would be. At some point, my eyes grew so heavy and I fell asleep. 10 minutes after that my alarm was ringing. I needed to get up for work. The decision had to wait.

After I had brushed my teeth, my phone was ringing. „Can't await to see me, love?" „Killian, she is gone!" „Who?" „Mary Margaret, she is not in her cell! You have to come right away to shake off anyone who wants to see Mary Margaret while I am looking for her." „No, I want to come with you." „Someone needs to be at the station in case someone arrives, then you have to come up with an excuse. Please, Killian, she will only listen to me." „You will find her. I will be right there."