A/N: I'm incredibly sorry this took so long to get out, this chapter caused me some trouble. Please be warned this chapter does contain some psychological torture...TRIGGER WARNING.
Please see end of chapter for additional notes.
Katniss POV
I picked at my fingers nervously as the servant led me down numerous grand hallways, each decorated with wonders from all over the world. After a dizzying pattern of corridors and small rooms, she stopped at a set of monstrous doors that stretched all the way to the ceiling. As she opened one, she gestured for me to enter before slowly closing the door behind her.
The dining room was much too large, in my opinion; even the huge table in the middle seemed swallowed up by the expansive space. The lone, weathered man that sat alone seemed even smaller, but I wasn't going to be fooled. I decided earlier that an air of nonchalance was how to get Snow to buy my performance. I shook out any nerves I had left and trudged forward with my head held high, reaching the table and seating myself before Snow could help me. He seemed amused at my gesture of independence, giving me a small nod while a twisted smile played at his artificially plumped lips.
"Ms. Everdeen, I was delighted to hear you wanted to have breakfast with me this morning." His syrupy voice dripped with false elation. Alright, here goes nothing.
"Yes, I thought you and I had a few things to discuss." I was pleased with how confident my reply sounded. I shook my cloth napkin out and placed it on my lap, while gingerly picking at a few of the delicious breakfast offerings.
"Oh? What would you like to discuss then?" He followed my lead and began loading his plate with a few pieces of fruit and toast. He never looked at me, but I was determined to have his undivided attention.
"You see, last night I had a dreadful night's sleep…thoughts constantly swirling around in my head…and then it all made sense. Why am I defending a father who abandoned me for thirteen years? Let's be honest - up until a few days ago, I believed he was dead anyway, so why do I care if you kill him?" As hard as it was for me to choke out the lie, I never broke eye contact. He slowly set down the butter knife he was using to spread jam on some bread, and wiped some nonexistent crumbs from his mouth before speaking.
"I think we'll make this whole situation a lot simpler by agreeing not to lie to each other." He sounded almost disappointed as he picked up the knife again and continued applying the jam.
"I'm not lying!" I shot back indignantly, but I could feel the sweat start to gather at my back. I knew I wasn't a great actress, but he didn't even seem to consider that my statement could be genuine. He flat out believed I was making it up. Shit!
"My dear, I told you, I've watched you grow up the last thirteen years…" he said with an exhausted sigh. "So disappointing. I thought with your spirit this would be more enjoyable, but alas, you're giving up already. I pegged you for a fighter, Ms. Everdeen." He waived his hand impatiently in front of him. When I heard the booming doors open and close I knew I had underestimated my opponent. I cursed my naivete: I am a fighter, I am a hunter. I should have known my prey better before executing a plan. I felt two sets of brawny hands grab under my arms and yank me out of the chair.
"Wait! Where are you taking me?" I began to kick at the figures behind me, but to no avail.
"You've soured my appetite." He threw his napkin on his plate and backed away from the table. He stood slowly and took a step towards me, looking me up and down in disgust. "Your father has been notified of the time and place where the exchange will occur." With a dismissive wave, I was dragged the familiar route to where I first saw Gale imprisoned.
My heart raced. How long would I be down here before my dad was supposed to come? What would they do to me? What would happen to Gale? I had been so stupid to think I could have fooled him that easily. Did I honestly think I could gain his trust with a simple statement?
Although it seemed like the same location where I found Gale, my 'cell' was decidedly different. I was tossed into a bare, padded room, with the door shut promptly behind me. Rubbing the spot on my back where I landed, I slowly stood to check out my new surroundings, but it didn't take long. There was nothing but blindingly white walls accented by harsh fluorescent lights that glared down at me.
If his intent was to make me feel like a crazy person, he was off to a good start. I decided then and there I wasn't going to let Snow get the best of me. Hopefully he locked me away and forgot about me until my father came, then at least I would get some uninterrupted time to think of a better plot to get out of here. The floor was like a big cushion, so at least that would provide a soft place to sleep. Maybe with a few scraps for nourishment, I would be just fine.
After about an hour, I was feeling almost comfortable, letting ideas envelope my mind, pushing away any doubts…then I heard it. It started out faint, so quiet I almost mistook it for a lone mouse somewhere in the damp basement. Then again, just a touch louder, but distinct enough for me to recognize it wasn't a rodent, but a person. "I-Is someone there?" I questioned hesitantly. I was met with stony silence except for the repeated thumping of my heart against my chest. I knew Snow had to have cameras and audio in this room - this was his entertainment after all. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of showing any emotion. I pursed my lips to keep from saying anything else, letting whatever thoughts I had play out silently in my mind.
"Katniss?" It was her. Prim. Before I could reason with myself, I blurted out franticly. "Prim?!"
My question was met with a foreboding stillness. Could I have imagined it? No, it was her, plain as day. Then the screaming started, her piercing wail bouncing off the walls and surrounding me like a cloudless haze. I pushed my fingers inside my ears as far as they'd go before it became painful.
"It's not her. It's Snow." This became my mantra that I chanted over and over as her urgent pleas grew louder and more desperate by the minute. I tried to be rational, I knew he had recordings of her, that he'd been watching her too, he said so himself. With all his money and technology he could easily create her voice doing or saying anything. Still, I couldn't bear it. It was too real, too penetrating. My resolve was starting to slip…how long had she been screaming now? It felt like hours.
"Stop! Please!" I yelled, trying to hear my own voice above hers. I didn't realize I was crying until I started choking on the tears, the salt searing through my burning throat. How long had I been screaming?
Just as suddenly as it started, it stopped. My ears started ringing at the onslaught of silence. I stumbled backwards into a corner and slid slowly to the floor, willing my breathing to steady. Fucking Snow, I wanted to scream every obscenity I knew at him, knowing full well he'd hear every one of them…but I stopped myself. He'd get too much joy out of hearing me struggle. I wound my arms around my legs and tried to make myself into a tiny ball, hoping I'd put on enough of a show for him to leave me alone. I was so emotionally spent from that little stunt that my eyes started to get heavy and the plush walls felt cool and soothing against my hot face.
An annoying buzzing sounded in my ear. Had I fallen asleep in the woods again? No, it was much too soft to be the woods. Ugh, there had to be a fly in my room. I swatted the air blindly as my eyes refused to open, still leaden with sleep. A louder humming finally tore my eyelids open. I was furious for Annie running the dishwasher when I was trying to nap.
It took me a minute to realize I wasn't in my apartment. Reality tore at me with fierce claws, shredding any sense of security my subconscious had created. I looked up towards the sound and saw a swarm of…wasps? Bees? I ran to another corner of the small room. A sense of panic washed over me when I realized I had nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. There I was, the only edible thing for these tiny beasts to devour. Then it happened, the first sting on my wrist. I slapped it dead and watched as it fell to the ground. I got down on my hands and knees to see what the offending creature actually was. It appeared to be a type of wasp I'd never seen before, with a shiny, almost glassy exterior, and markings that were quite different from that of a bee - more like a yellow jacket. My appraisal was cut short as I felt another sting on my neck. Again, I slapped it dead but noticed the first sting on my wrist was already starting to swell.
Cupping my neck, I tried to stand but was immediately floored by a numbness in my legs. I tried to crawl to the corner again, feeling too exposed in the center of the room, when I felt like I was being pelted by heavy raindrops. Only it wasn't raindrops, but little carcasses of the insects falling around me in droves, like they had all been killed at exactly the same time. I shielded my face and forced my body to propel me forward. I heard the crunching of their corpses under the weight of my legs and elbows as I crossed the room. Once I reached my destination, I tried to prop myself up, but the room swirled around me, causing me to question which way was up.
My vision blurred and the two places I had been stung throbbed with a blistering agony. I blinked repeatedly, trying to get my eyes to focus, then I saw him, staring at me.
"Peeta?" I held my hand out to him, waving it as an invitation to grab it, but he didn't try to reach me. "Peeta! Please! I need your help! I'm hurt…can you hear me? Peeta?" I wanted so badly to move toward him, but my body wouldn't cooperate. I shifted my focus to my legs, trying to see if there was anything preventing them from propelling me forward, but they just lay there like useless stumps.
When I glanced up again, Peeta was gone. How could he just leave me? I closed my eyes again - it was getting too hard to concentrate on any one thing. My hands rested on the ground next to my legs, and I could tell they were slowly losing feeling as well. What was happening to me? Was I allergic to the stings? Was there a higher content of poison in them? Now it was getting too difficult to maintain one cohesive thought; my head felt both heavy and light at the same time. It wouldn't be so bad, letting myself lose control of my own body and mind if I didn't have to be wet while doing it.
Wait...wet? I used every ounce of strength I had to open my eyes and instead of the clear water I had expected, I was surrounded by a thick sticky crimson that smelled coppery. Blood. I brought my hands to my face and they were covered, so were my legs. I dropped my hands with a splash into the bloody marsh and realized the once white walls were now stained a harrowing red.
I knew it was useless to try to move, so I closed my eyes once again. If it was possible for my body to sink lower down, I would have let myself drown, but that was impossible. The overwhelming smell of blood was churning my stomach, but it wasn't until I caught whiffs of roses, that I finally vomited into the quickly rising scarlet pool.
Then I see him again. Are my eyes open or closed? Am I dreaming? It doesn't matter because he brings me strength. "I need you," I breathed with a sense of finality. He's staring at me again, his expression pleading. I realize his mouth is moving but I can't hear anything he's saying, almost like he's stuck on the other side of thick glass. "Peeta!" I yell as loudly as I can, but his sad eyes drop as he turns his head in dismay. He lifts a hand up and I lift mine to place it over his. Through the barrier I can feel his warmth and tenderness. I sense his meaning - he needs me to stay alive. "I'm so tired and Snow's too strong," I whimper. He shakes his head again, his unruly blonde curls flopping while he tries to mouth something to me again. "I can't hear you." I place a hand to my ear and shake my head as a universal sign of deafness. "Peeta!" I call to him again and again but I know he can't hear me either. I pull my hand away and close my eyes, then I hear it.
"Katniss!" The voice is urgent but I hear it. I open my eyes but I don't see Peeta anymore, I see Gale. "Katniss? Oh thank God you're awake! You really scared me." He's hovering over me checking my forehead with his hand, letting it fall to caress my cheek.
"Gale? Where am I?" I let my hand feel around me, the softness below me sends a flood of memories to the forefront of my mind, Prim's screaming, the stinging bugs…the blood. I gasp for air as the visions suffocate me with despair.
"Breathe. In and out…easy now." He demonstrates the rhythm of how I should be breathing to calm me down. I follow his instruction until I feel the light-headedness pass.
"How long have I been gone?" I can feel the urgency creep back into my voice.
"Only about eight or nine hours? It's dinnertime, they just sent us a tray of food." I glance to the door and see the silver platter sitting unceremoniously with a huge bouquet of flowers next to it.
Although I hadn't eaten all day, I realize I'm not even hungry. The only thing I can think of is how I haven't even been gone for a full day and that's all it took for Snow to almost break me. How did Gale last nine months?! I feel like a failure all over again.
"About thirty minutes ago they opened the door and just dropped you there like a rag doll. I'm almost embarrassed to admit how much I struggled to get you into the bed." Gale says timidly as he rubs the back of his neck. At that point I truly look at him. His face is brighter, more hopeful and he's actually interacting with me. If this is the only good thing that comes of me being here, I'll take it.
"Hey, don't worry about it, you're still gaining your strength. I'm fine, Snow just…" I stopped, fully aware that Snow was probably listening at this exact moment. "Snow just tried to scare me is all. It didn't work." I looked up to the ceiling with my last statement, hoping I was staring directly into a camera.
"So who's Peeta? I assumed you were referring to a person and not the bread." He gave me a small smile.
I responded with a scowl to hide the fact my cheeks burned with a hot blush. "He is the person my father hired to spy on me."
"Oh. Well you sure said his name a lot while you were out. Were you guys…you know…together?" I know how hard it was for Gale to get that question out so I tried to be sympathetic in my answer.
"Um, yea, I guess you could say that. But that was his job right? To get me to fall in love with him so I would spill all my deep, dark secrets." The laugh I attempted sounded more like a wounded bird. I cringed at my obvious discomfort.
"Love? You fell in love with him?"
Shit.
How could I be so stupid and say love? I really had a knack for making difficult situations even worse. Gale's voice sounded so sad. I immediately grabbed his hand, but he pulled away.
Feeling a tad slighted, I grumbled, "I don't know. Maybe I fell in love with the idea of him. I mean, he was getting paid to 'crack' me, and he succeeded. It was all fake anyway."
"Do you think your dad paid him to trick you into falling in love with him? That doesn't sound right…" His crooked eyebrows knotted together and I hit him for lack of a better idea. When he said it that way, it sounded utterly ridiculous. I didn't want to talk about Peeta anymore.
"So what do you think the warden sent us for dinner?" I quickly changed the subject as I got up and strolled to the tray containing our food. It felt good to be in control of my body again. I plopped the dinner down on my bed and motioned for Gale to dig in. He didn't waste any time tearing into a chicken leg. My appetite was still wary, so I decided to look at the bouquet next to our dinner.
Once I actually got a good look, it dawned on me this was a message from Snow. The whole bouquet was made up of wildflowers, all of which could be found in the woods my father and I frequented. He didn't seem to leave anything out: the small white delicate flower of a Wood Anemone, a few purple Chicory, some beautiful examples of Mountain Laurels. He even included some Primroses and Katniss flowers, the sick bastard...
Suddenly my eye caught a flash of yellow in the bunch. It's unassuming golden flower hangs like Wisteria and is just as beautiful. I understood why he might have included Golden Chain in the bouquet, it added a nice punch of color and presence, but he obviously didn't do his homework.
I knew Gale and I were quickly running out of time, I also knew I couldn't handle another day like the one I just endured. I picked up the flowers and carried them over to Gale like I was going to show him something and pretended to trip. The bouquet went soaring and scattered around me, I acted flustered and began to pick them all up, disguising the fact that I put some Golden Chain into my pocket.
I had a new plan, and this time, I had to succeed.
There you have it, again I'm sorry this took so long to get out, but I have a clear idea of where the rest of the story is going so the updates should be be twice a week again. This will probably be another five chapters or so.
Thank you to all those who have favorited/followed/reviewed...it makes this all worth it :)
I want to add that any excerpts used or referenced are Suzanne Collins and I own nothing. I just try to stay true to her brilliance.