These updates seriously need to happen faster! Hopefully I'll find the time, I want to completely finish this fic by the end of the month so I can move on to some other fun projects I have in mind. But hopefully what happens here make up for the absence.

The Ties that Bind, the Ties that Break

Chapter 14: "Tear the Walls Down, Don't Be Stupid, Lead Me Halfway to Your Heart"

Rey knew she was starting to really annoy Hux with how she would always ease him from sleep with her fingers in his hair, a kiss to his forehead. If she was feeling bold, she'd wake him with a proper kiss, and he'd pout and frown at first, but she'd eventually get him to kiss back. After the scare with Hux waking in such a terrible way, she couldn't help but try and make sure that didn't happen again. Hence the questions, and hence his annoyance.

"Is this how you're always going to wake me up?" he'd huff when they parted for air.

"You know you like it," she teased, scrunching her nose. The more she got comfortable around Hux, she realized, the more she treated him like one of… her friends.

A friend that she kissed quite romantically, but still. The more she forgot that affiliation, the more she could feel herself growing closer to him, the line that had once so severely separated them now blurred. Yes, that was dangerous for the aftermath of all this—but that attraction just kept growing, right out of her control. She acted in ways she knew weren't professional, that reflected her age more than she liked to admit, but she hadn't wanted like this since she longed for a family back on Jakku.

It was scary, yes, but it was the type of fear that kept her going through with all of this—the adrenaline completely excited her, as well. It must have been the same for him. Somehow, Rey could feel that, despite him not being Force-sensitive.

"Did you sleep all right?" she asked gently, trying to suppress a yawn.

"Yes, yes, as always." Hux waved a dismissive hand and tried to sit up. It took a little time, though, given Rey actually really liked running her hands through his hair. The strange thing was, his hair was seriously soft, and it soothed her as much as it seemed to soothe him. "I don't understand why you feel the need to wake me like this every morning. It isn't as if you're going to be around to do this all the time and make sure that I'm not waking up… paralyzed."

She noticed he took into account the weight of what he just said, and they were both silent for a few moments. He couldn't look her in the eye, and Rey's hands paused on his scalp. She tried not to think about that, honestly. It was hard enough to live in the present without thinking about the past—and thinking about the future certainly didn't seem pleasant.

"I know," she answered slowly, looking off toward the river. "It's just… for now. And I don't think there's anything wrong with trying not to think about what's to come. Don't you like this?"

"I do." Hux nodded, and he sat up completely now. "But Rey… be realistic. This isn't for forever. This isn't even for that much longer."

Rey frowned. Did he really have to put a downer on this? "That's what makes the small moments like this really count," she said lowly, stroking her fingers through his hair again. This was all they were going to have, and she would be damned if they weren't making the most of it. Still, she couldn't bring herself to go any further than whatever they'd been doing so far. But the more time she spent around Hux, the more confidence she felt.

She shifted to lie down, her leg pressed up against his. Sometimes she wondered what it'd be like to sleep next to him, but there always needed to be someone on watch, just in case. The closest she'd gotten to that was his head in her lap, her fingers in his hair, which, after a while, turned quite hypnotizing and peaceful. Usually she kissed him again before she fell asleep, but she instead reached down and took his hand, holding it lightly. Her cheek pressed against his hip when she turned to her side, closing her eyes. Hux didn't pull away, though he tensed, which Rey felt for a moment. He eventually relaxed, and Rey fell asleep like that, a content smile on her face.

He wasn't holding her hand when she woke, as Rey expected. What she didn't expect was to wake up early to find Hux still bathing in the river, his back to her. It was first light, so Rey could make out his pale form. She could get up and inform him she was up early, but given how terribly self-conscious he was about bodies in general, she stayed silent, and just watched, to see how he acted alone.

It wasn't much different—he was still completely collected and silent, from what she observed through half-lidded eyes. But the sight that made her look twice was his mussed, damp and drooping down his forehead. While Hux looked younger in his sleep, he looked even younger with his hair so disheveled. And yes, she knew that was a strange thing to fixate her gaze on, but she could now make a legitimate case of Hux looking… handsome. She now felt the urge to run her hands through hair just to mess it up. Damn, was she tempted, but she remained still, hoping he still thought her asleep.

A yearning in Rey's stomach surfaced as Hux emerged from the water, shaking his hair out. Like her, he remained nude for a bit to dry off, and given he thought she was asleep, he didn't shy away from hiding anything. She certainly blushed, glad that his back was to her. There was a huge difference, she realized, gazing at someone she found attractive versus everyday encounters. She could feel her heart beat in her ears again, louder than before. Rey even found herself strangely attracted to the huge scars on his back (what were they from, she kept wondering), and the blush deepened when her eyes scanned lower. Oh no, she… really wanted him, in a strange way she just couldn't explain.

Hux looked out over the river, still like he was contemplating something. Occasionally Rey would hear him sigh, or stretch his arms over his head. And not once did Rey find herself bored with the sight, despite the slow crawl of light across the clearing, the dimming of the dying fire. Skinny as he was, he still had some muscle. Rey wanted to dart her hands out and see if his skin was soft all over, like his face.

She even watched him dress back in his uniform, being a bit slow with his newly healed arm as he pulled on his undershirt, then his suit over it. He knelt down and washed his hands, then slicked back his hair, much to her disappointment. If only he knew just how much better he looked when he wasn't trying so hard to be perfect! But, of course, she had to stay silent, keep her breathing low and deep, like Hux had taught her.

She only closed her eyes completely when Hux walked over after pulling his pants on, and sat just to pull on his boots, Rey suspected.

"I know you're awake," he stated, and Rey sighed in defeat, opening her eyes completely. Hux had a stern brow raised at her, his arms crossed tightly. "How long have you been staring?" The way he spoke was like a father condescending to a child. Rey wondered if he took on this tone with his soldiers.

Slowly she sat up, scratching the back of her head. "After you dressed," she lied. "It wasn't for very long."

"Right," he replied, clearly not believing her. But he didn't ask her to tell the truth.

Rey ducked her head down to start putting her hair up. She noticed her lightsaber was still in her thigh holster. Strange… he was going more off their usual schedule, with him bathing much later and not hiding her weapon.

"You didn't hide my—"

"There's no point anymore. You've never had trouble finding it," he said with his usual scoff, running a hand through his hair, to make sure it stayed in place. "Obviously your powers are getting a bit stronger."

"I sense something resembling a compliment, General," Rey teased, getting up despite her hair only in one bun so far. She moved to sit beside him before continuing to put her hair up.

"Here, let me counter it, then: I don't understand why you put your hair up like that." Hux turned more toward her, his knee grazing hers.

Gaping, Rey leaned over and nudged his shoulder with her own, before putting her hair up the rest of the way. "I suppose the style makes more sense on Jakku. But it looks better up than down—or rather, I'm too used to it up. Still… you could be nicer."

"'Nice' isn't in my vocabulary, I'm sure you know. This is dangerous—it's too early in the morning to be this… intimate." Hux then shied away from Rey, scooting away from her very slightly. Had she not been used to his tendencies, she wouldn't have noticed the slight change.

Unfortunately, Rey had too much time on her hands and she immediately noticed every little thing Hux did. Her slight smile faded, and Rey pulled her vest tighter around herself, if just to keep her hands busy. "I guess you don't remember what I said about making these small moments count," she murmured, looking down.

"Oh, I do." But Rey could already sense the internal struggle in those three words, the want to do more with her, but the hesitation still very presence in his every move. If only he would let go a bit more!

Before she could think of a rebuttal, though, Hux clenched and released his fists, then declared, "I'd like to spar."

Taken aback, Rey leaned away for a moment, processing the idea. She was about to ask the terribly stupid question, "Together?", but realized that he'd no one else to do this with. And honestly, Rey could use this kind of exercise. Sure, she could use tree trunks to kick and branches on which she could pull herself up and climb, but she remembered the occasional spar with others on the Resistance base, the charming smiles and chummy jabs in good taste. Rey had never had fun fighting someone before—would it be the same with Hux, she wondered. On one hand, he took everything so seriously, and it really might not be enjoyable. On the other hand, would it be strange, given this romantic entanglement? Would she be able to fight fairly with him? Hux would likely not hold back—he'd shot her hand before, after all.

Then she took into the other dilemma. "Are you sure you're fit for that with your arm?" she asked, just making sure. But the mention of sparring already had her at the edge of her seat, her body itching to do something. This was almost as exciting as, well… a kiss, really. She was getting similar reactions: tingles moving through her body, the fluttering in her stomach, her heart beating faster, her breath catching slightly. Everything minus the press of Hux's plump lips softly against her own.

"I won't use it much," Hux replied, quite sure of himself. Rey knew better than to argue with him about this. Besides, she really wanted this, despite Hux probably still recovering a bit from what happened to his arm.

"Best six out of eleven? The round is determined by whoever can pin the other down for a solid ten seconds," Rey suggested, knowing they had all day, given they weren't doing their usual separate morning walks. "If that's too much, then best five out of nine?"

"Just because we're… romantically involved, does not mean I'm going easy on you." Hux stood and moved over to where there was more room. Was that a hint of a smirk on his face? Rey certainly like to think so, because now she was grinning. This could actually be… fun. She didn't think "Hux" and "fun" even belonged in the same sentence or activity, but here they were.

"Funny, I was just about to say the same thing." Rey followed Hux and tossed her lightsaber aside for the moment. They faced each other and she noticed the challenge in his eyes, and even a bit of playfulness, despite his focused, stoic expression. But she was the one who made the first move, charging toward him.

However, she completely forgot just how fast Hux could be. She could barely land any of her swings at him; he ducked and dodged so quickly, and he was somehow amazingly able to keep his newly healed arm from receiving much damage.

Smartly, he went for her legs, and knocked her down, pinning her quite thoroughly. Rey squirmed against his hold, his hands holding her wrists, his knees pressed to her hips. His face was certainly… close. Because they'd been moving around so much, they were both panting, breaths intermingling. Instinctively she raised her chin toward him.

"One for me," he suddenly declared, quickly leaping back up. Rey was surprised that he held out a hand for her to take so he could pull her up, and he didn't use it as an opportunity to flip her over and pin her down again. Maybe she just used it as an excuse to hold hands for a few moments, but she then readied herself for the next round, hoping to sense a pattern in his attacks. Someone as rigid as him had to have a pattern.

Next round, she caught it, but was too busy trying to figure it out that she didn't find time to really defend herself. Given he was probably usually smaller than his opponents, Hux opted to strike more at the legs, and relied on his quick reflexes to get the upper hand. This also worked to his advantage, given he was trying so hard to hardly use his right arm. The thing was, Rey was smaller than Hux. He couldn't rely on his usual methods to win all six rounds now. That didn't stop him from pinning her down again in her distraction, though, raising an amused brow at her. They were so close again… Why was Rey thinking so much about the press of his hips against hers, his lips so close…? "I'm two for two. Start stepping it up," Hux warned, quickly helping her up again.

Fine. He wanted a challenge? She'd start giving him a challenge. She had to admit, the negativity certainly gave her the right motivation. Or maybe Hux still had that terrible way of getting under her skin and she still felt the need to prove herself to him. Rey pursed her lips and took a step back, readying herself.

Hux tried attacking low again, but Rey prepared herself for that, particularly with how he stuck to his word and didn't really use his more dominant arm. She was finally able to pin him down by simply charging at his midsection, tackling him down. Maybe not the best strategy, but it did the trick. Rey was careful to barely hold down his right arm, but she kept thinking about her hips holding his down, panting slightly at how close they kept getting after each round.

"Th-that's one for me." Rey shook her head, not even knowing where her mind was at the moment, and helped Hux up. She took a deep breath—the way Hux had taught her—and readied herself for another round, promising herself to stop lingering on what happened when one of them got pinned down. Why was she focusing on that rather than the actual sparring? They'd fight and the round would be over so quickly, it seemed!

When Rey won the next round, she noticed Hux's brows furrow at realizing they were now tied, and that she'd figured out how to best him with his usual methods. "Start stepping it up, General," she teased as she pulled him up, and he rolled his eyes.

"Don't get cocky now, little minx."

Was he just saying that as a distraction? Because damn it, it kind of worked. Rey lost the next round, because Hux did indeed land a few good hits (as did she), but he really wasn't holding back anymore. So Rey stepped it up even more, trying to even the playing field. Despite the aches all over her body, she enjoyed finally being able to do something so active, that kept her mind working so rapidly, with them both working off each other. And it was refreshing, even if Hux never compromised his scowl. He didn't banter much, like Poe, or offer strong words of encouragement, like Finn. But he was here, and he seemed just as grateful to perform the exercise, even if he didn't really show it.

He'd swing, she'd dodge; she struck, he took the brunt of the blow. And when he pinned her down, Rey would linger on his long fingers wrapped tight around her wrists, his knees holding her legs together. Her chest would heave, her breasts barely grazing his chest with each rapid inhale. His hair would come out of place, bright strands tickling her sweaty forehead. That feeling in her stomach came back with full force, and that tingling feeling moved from her thumping heart down to her hips, which would accidentally roll not due to her own volition.

She'd tilt her her head up slightly, and Hux would suddenly leap back up and pull Rey with him until she was standing. He'd slick his hair back, and the next round would begin.

When she pinned Hux down, given she was shorter, Rey laid atop him so her knees pressed into his thighs to hold his legs closed. She kept wary of his right arm, as always, and she'd keep herself up by leaning her weight on her other arm, so she wasn't completely atop him. Still, that feeling in the pit of her stomach remained—in fact, it only grew more prominent.

Their latter rounds did not consist of biting words and jabs. Their actions, however, told Rey a frightening story of how she wanted more of… something, despite this being a relatively serious exercise. She enjoyed the muss of Hux's hair, which wouldn't stay still despite how many times he tried to slick it back, the heaving of his chest, his red lashes shielding his half-lidded green eyes, the parting of his thick lips, seeming to invite Rey to kiss him. She pinned him down on their tenth round, making this a tie, and they only had one more to go to declare a winner. But neither of them moved. Was this to just catch their breath, she wondered as she watched Hux put up a very halfhearted struggle against her.

She was acutely aware, however, of him giving a slow roll of his hips against hers, but he stilled as if he made a mistake. And Rey knew, she needed to get up first. But she didn't.

Rey instead stopped thinking. She should have gotten to her feet and helped Hux to his so they could duke out this final round and determine a winner. But she watched the bump in his neck move up and down in a heavy gulp, and the parting of his lips was too inviting for her to refuse. She closed her eyes only after she crashed her lips against his, swallowing the surprised noise he made.

Kisses, she realized, were even better like this, where she had her weight on him, where they had to change the angle every few moments after gasping for air. She didn't mind the strange way her nose pressed beside his, or how he made a few noises that sounded like he was utterly confused. Her hands eased up as she fell onto him, as if trying to mold her body to fit completely against his.

He kept his arms above his head, even when Rey moved her hands down to his shoulders, and lower still, acting on instinct and feeling as thought melted away. She couldn't stop kissing him. And he obviously enjoyed this, too, as he kissed back, and didn't push her away like she expected him to. This was the longest they'd ever been in lip lock, but honestly Rey saw it as an accumulation of everything that'd just happened—the sweating, being pinned down, the panting. Something inside her wanted, and she wasn't so afraid to act anymore.

He was a few beats off, but it looked like Hux wasn't so afraid to act, either. Or perhaps he wasn't thinking, like her. Because his hands moved to her waist, holding her delicately, like she was going to break, or maybe despite the kisses he was still really scared to touch her. But he then moved his hands up slowly, under her vest, from the belt slung low on her hips to her ribs, right under her breasts. She gasped, parting the kiss for a moment.

Hux took that opportunity to completely surprise her by quickly flipping them over, so he straddled her. Rey started to shake, but only because she hadn't expected it. She gazed up at him, staring into those half-lidded eyes, and they weren't clouded with confusion—he looked at her like he wanted to devour her, and she let out a sound she'd never expected to make. She surged up again, but she didn't think—didn't think about how she wanted those parted lips, and certainly didn't think when her tongue darted out before she chased it with a kiss, a shock running down her spine when he didn't hesitate to meet it with his own. She swallowed a low growl he emitted, her hips once again rolling into him because it just felt right. Her hands moved to tug at his belt, unbuckling it so she could feel how warm he was underneath, above his undershirt. Yes, it'd been nice when she lay on top of him, but to have him pin her down like this… Her hips rolled up again, wishing there weren't so many layers, wishing she knew how to give more, take more and keep such a feeling up.

Rey's hands slid up from his chest to his neck, her thumbs running over his cheeks, then up to his hair, where she pulled gently at the soft, bright strands, and he growled in her mouth again. Everything kept clashing, but it was primal, and hot, and when his hands moved under her shirt, she could feel her chest heave off the soil, pressing herself against him.

Even if they parted for air, barely even a moment later either Rey would crash herself back into Hux, or he would chase the kiss quickly, his hands digging into her ribs. The tips of his fingers barely grazed the skin under her breasts, and Rey let out another noise, this one a bit louder. She certainly wanted more—how should she go about it? Should she go about it? Did he want it, want something similar? Was this moving too fast, too slow?

She wasn't thinking about it, and now she was thinking too hard about it. Now her mind focused too much on what she was doing now, rather than acting on whatever she felt.

Hux must have been thinking the same thing, because he slowly pulled away from her lips, still panting. Rey felt her chest heave still, shivering when his hands moved down her sides, still under her shirt. She gave him a timid smile, and Hux pressed his forehead to her cheek, resting a moment. Instead of tugging at his hair, Rey instead stroked her fingers through it, as she so often did. "Let's call it a draw," she decided, looking up at the sky.

"I suppose we're equally matched, for now," he conceded, and Rey could tell, they were definitely sparring again, hopefully with the same results.

So for now, the "T" rating will stay up, but given what's happened here and what I've written for this ship from before, that will probably go up.

And given what's happened in the fandom today, with the reveal of Hux's first name and the secrets of his past, will that make it into the fic? Of course!