Sam stopped after Jules walked into the living room and closed the door. He stepped back from the door and locked it. He was shaking so hard that he could barely make it to the bed. He put his head in his hands, elbows on his knees, trying to catch his breath. The tears fell unheeded as he listened to the knocks on the door. What the hell was wrong with him? He felt like he was losing his mind. Since when did thinking about talking to his team cause him to panic? He couldn't face them all right now. This whole thing was too much.

##### outside the bedroom door #####

Jules turned around when the door closed behind her. She heard the click of the lock and frowned deeply. What the hell, she thought. Did he just lock her out? Lock all of them out? She grabbed the knob and turned it. When it didn't turn she looked back at the others. She knocked softly. "Sam? What's going on?" She said as gently as she could considering this kicked her worry up a notch.

Greg stepped forward and looked at Jules. "What just happened?"

"I don't know." Jules frowned back at him. "I thought he was ok and was going to come to the living room, but he closed and locked the door."

With another gentle knock, Greg said, "Sam? You ok buddy?" No answer. He looked back at Wordy, Ed, Spike and Hannah.

Hannah looked at Wordy and Spike and gave them a reassuring smile. She walked forward and stood next to the door jamb. She leaned forward and put her ear on the door. She heard Sam saying something, but it was too low to understand. She put her hand up and rapped her knuckles on the door. "Sam? It's Hannah. Are you ok? If you need a minute that's ok." After a short silence she heard a muffled, "yeah. Ok." She looked at Jules and Greg and tipped her head towards Wordy and Spike. They walked back.

"Why don't you go back and debrief? I'll stay with Sam. I think it'll be good to let him have a little time to himself. I'll stay to make sure he stays safe and in case he wants to talk. Ok?" Hannah looked at each of them and could see this was going to be a hard sell.

Spike looked at Greg and shook his head. "We can't."

"Hannah isn't going to let anything happen to Sam, right?" Ed put a hand on Spike's shoulder and looked at Hannah.

"Right." Hannah nodded.

"Sam is strong and trained to be stealthy." Jules shook her head and looked at Hannah. "No offense."

"None taken." Hannah smiled. "Ok, so leave an officer from the local PD here but they must stay outside the door. I don't want Sam to feel like he's trapped." She said with conviction.

Greg nodded. "Ok. It'll only be for an hour or two. C'mon." He looked at the team. "The sooner we debrief, the sooner we can come back."

"That's another thing," Hanna said cautiously, "I would prefer if only Wordy returned." She looked at each person. "I mean, no offense to any of you, but Wordy is the one that got through to Sam in the woods. I would like him to continue to work with Sam. Ok?" She raised a brow.

Ed looked at them and nodded. He knew it would be hard to accept, but they had to do whatever it took to help Sam. "If it's what's best for Sam, it's what we do. Let's go debrief."

Spike set his jaw and nodded. "Copy."

Jules nodded reluctantly and said, "copy".

"Thank you Hannah." Greg smiled at her then turned and followed the others out.

"You're welcome." Hannah smiled at each of them before they left. She turned and looked at the door, wondering what Sam was thinking and feeling.

##### inside Sam's bedroom #####

Sam turned the light off in the bathroom and sat back down on the bed. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. How could he close himself off from his chosen family when all they wanted to do was help him? He'd walked to the door and back to the bed several times, trying to get up the courage to unlock and open the door. For some reason, the thought of facing them scared him. Would they look at him with disgust for having these "episodes"?

Would Ed and the Boss want to kick him off of the team because he couldn't seem to get himself together? The Boss certainly had mentioned that as a possibility. What would he do if he didn't have Team One? Go back to the military? No, he couldn't do that. He couldn't go through all of that again, especially without Matt. So many times Matt had been his anchor, keeping him from losing his mind after some of the horrible missions they went on.

He knew he had been Matt's anchor as well. They were so alike in so many ways. Both had come from strict military families, although Matt's mother tended to take the military discipline more seriously than his father. Matt's father was often out on missions for months at a time, but he was warm and loving when he came home to his only son. His mother was the perfect army wife on the surface, always making sure he had food on the table and clothes on his back. At home, she was a totally different person. Angry and lonely, she took her frustrations out on her son. Matt had sworn Sam to secrecy before he showed Sam some of the lasting scars he had from his mother.

They had both joined the army to get away from their home lives, which Sam was sure saved Matt's life. Both of their fathers, high ranking by the time their son's joined up, were extremely proud of their sons although neither really understood the full reason for it. Sam had done the unthinkable when Matt's mother died. He went to his father and asked permission to attend the funeral with his friend. He was sure that the General would say no, that his unit needed him, but he was granted the leave.

Not for the first time today, Sam wished that Matt was able to go to Scout's funeral. He knew Matt would be just as upset to know that their Sarge had died. They'd spent so many nights under the stars in the desert together. Half of his happy memories were of those nights. He wished he could go lay under the stars and talk to Matt and Scout. He looked to the door and realized the apartment was silent. He looked at the clock and saw it was only 1530. No stars were out yet.

Curious as to why the apartment was quiet he went to the door and unlocked it. He cracked the door and looked around. He pulled the door open further and realized everyone had left. He turned down his mouth and stuck his lip out a little. Huh, he thought, they left. He walked out and jumped when he saw Hannah on the couch sipping an iced capp.

"Hi." She smiled warmly. "I hope you don't mind that I made myself a drink. I saw your machine and I couldn't help myself."

"No," Sam shook his head, "that's ok. Help yourself. I don't have a lot here, but you're welcome to whatever you can find." He sat in his black chair and sat cross legged.

Hannah eyed him. "How're you feeling?"

Sam sighed and looked down. "I hate to say this, but relieved."

"Why do you hate to say that?" She leaned forward and put her iced capp down.

"Because the team left and they're like my family. The kind I got to choose."

"They're very important to you." Hannah nodded.

"Yes." He lifted his brows and looked at her. "If I lose them," he shook his head.

"What makes you think you're going to lose them?" She cocked her head to the side.

"Because I'm a mess." Sam ran a hand through his hair.

"No more than anyone else." Hannah smiled when he looked at her. "Do they feel the same way about you? That you're family?"

"Yes. We treat each other like brothers and sisters, father and children. We're a very tight unit." He nodded.

"Ok. So let's go back to what you first said, that you were relieved that they left. Why are you relieved?"

"I was, am, scared to talk to them." Sam put up a hand, palm up.

"Because?"

He let out a frustrated breath and looked away.

"What do you think will happen?"

"I don't know. I-I think they'll judge me. Think I'm crazy and not worthy of being on the team." He frowned, the hurt of saying it out loud cutting him deep.

"Not worthy of being their brother?" She arched a brow.

Sam looked at her, his eyes filling, and nodded. "I couldn't take that."

"Sam. Do you know what your team has done for you the past couple days?"

"Kept me out of trouble?"

Hannah nodded. "Yeah. When Wordy and Spike saw that you were in trouble in the woods, what did they do? They, and the team, came running to help you." She said gently. "I asked them to go debrief because you seemed like you needed a minute. Do you know what they did?"

Sam swiped the back of a hand across his eyes and chuckled. He could imagine what she must've been up against, especially with Ed. "I imagine it probably wasn't easy."

She chuckled. "Right. Like trying to get a cub from a momma bear." She raised her brows. "Do you know why?"

"Because they care." He shrugged. He thought for a momen. "They can get overbearing sometimes." He scoffed. "Mother hens." He shook his head. "So they aren't going to judge me or kick me out of their lives."

"Nope. If anything, they're going to help you fight to get through this." She smiled at him. "We all are."

Sam gave her a lopsided grin and nodded.

"I hope you don't mind, but I asked Wordy to come back after they debrief. I think he'll be able to help a lot." Hannah picked her ice capp up and took a sip. She closed her eyes. "Heaven in a glass." She sighed as she put it back down.

"No, that's fine."

"Good. You and Wordy seem to have an especially tight bond."

"Yeah. When I hurt my knee during training he let me stay at his house with his wife and kids. It was great. His girls call me Uncle Sam." Sam smiled at the thought of the pictures in his locker with the three Wordsworth girls. One was him asleep with the girls on and around him, the other was him in a tickle pile with the girls, his hair standing on end and a goofy look on his face.

"They've been there for you." She nodded. She was glad she'd gone with her gut and chosen Wordy. He was definitely the right one to help Sam.

Sam nodded. "I babysit for Wordy and Shel when they want to have a date night." He laughed. "Although sometimes I think I do more harm than good." He went on to explain that there had been more than one time that Wordy and Shel had come home to find the house a wreck and all four of them passed out on the couch from pizza and hours of playing dress up. They called him Princess Sassy Pants.

They were laughing at his Allie, Holly and Ivy stories when there was a knock at the front door. Sam jumped up and answered the door.

Wordy had showed his badge to the officer, then listened for a moment at the door when he heard laughter coming from the other side. Relief flooded him. When Sam opened the door he was extra relieved to still see the smile on Sam's face. "Hey." He said, unsure of what else to say.

"Thanks for coming back." Sam said genuinely.

"You knew I would." Wordy smiled.

"I did." Sam pulled Wordy in a tight hug. When he pulled back he kept a hand on Wordy's shoulder. "I was just telling Hannah some babysitting stories."

Wordy laughed and rolled his eyes. He sat in the chair to Sam's right. "Did he tell you about the jello debacle?" He looked at Hannah.

Hannah shook her head, knowing this was going to be a great story.