Um, this chapter is sort of all over the place. It basically follows Sirius' day to a point. Alot of back story stuff, as well as plot moving forward. But I think there are quite a few funny points in it, so yea :D

Sirius was dressed and ready for the school day at five thirty in the morning. James and Peter had only been in bed twenty minutes. But Sirius had only gotten an hour of sleep; he had fallen asleep in the window sill. It had taken only one time calling the boys name to get him to stir, when normally it took twenty minutes. James ordered him to bed and he merely laid there till he heard James and Peter fall sound asleep.

And now here he was standing outside the hospital wing. Typically the marauders came together after they got a few hours of sleep and after a quick breakfast. But Sirius couldn't even think about eating before he saw his friend. Hoping the moon had been kind to him.

As he pushed open the doors he looked inside, he could see Madam Pomfrey leaving a curtain which he knew was Remus'.

"Mr. Black he cannot see you now, he's sleeping"

"I won't be long" Sirius looked at her "If he were awake he'd just tell you to tell me he was sleeping or to turn me away period…I just wanna drop this off and see him" Sirius whispered, in his hand was a bar of chocolate he'd skipped Care of Magical Creatures to run off to Honeydukes to get.

He could see Madam Pomfrey fighting an inner war. "You two haven't talked much this past few weeks have you" she finally asked, motioning for him to come inside and shut the door.

"No ma'am" Sirius frowned, the woman had always felt more like his mother than his own. Between her and Mrs. Potter he couldn't tell who was more motherly.

"I could tell" she sighed "If it hadn't been from this it would easily be from what I've seen the past few weeks. Not even sitting beside each other"

"Excuse me" Sirius interrupted "What do you mean see by this" he asked, afraid Remus was very hurt.

"Oh" Madam Pomfrey chuckled "Between his body being a little more scratched up that usual, your in here at five thirty in the morning dress and begging me to let you sneak in" she chuckled "Go ahead, but be quiet, if you wake him I'll hex you out of my wing"

"Yes ma'am, thank you" Sirius smiled as he slid past her and into Remus' corner of the hospital wing. He felt his stomach twist into a tight knot. "Oh Moony" he whispered walking over, laying the large bar of chocolate on his table. He brushed a bit of blonde hair out of the boys face. "I'm sorry" he whispered. "For everything"

He looked at the boy's sleeping form, "For Halloween, for not being there last night, for everyday in between" he reached out and took Remus' hand. He'd seen him scraped up worse than this, but it hadn't been recently. Typically only on blue moons or the first few moons after the marauders had joined him. But for the past year he had never looked this bad. It's like his body had taken revenge on him for the stress Sirius had placed on him. "I hope one day you can forgive me" he whispered softly. "But I understand if you can't" he stroked Remus' hand with his thumb just looking at his sleeping face. Any words he wanted to say no longer had any strength to climb out of his mouth.

He sat there for a good thirty minutes just holding his friends hand, watching him sleep. When he started to feel his own eyes start to drift shut he stood up and tucked Remus' hand back under the cover. The boy gave a soft whine when Sirius released his hand as the warmth left it. "Shhh" Sirius whispered running his fingers through the sleeping boy's hair. "I'm always right here" Sirius reached over and rested his hand over Remus' heart, feeling his own flutter. "No matter where I am, I'm always here" he leaned down, body trembling and placed a soft kiss on the boy's mouth. "I love you Remy, don't forget that" and he sighed as he left, he passed Madam Pomfrey on his way out and he gave her a small smile. She returned it as he slid out of the door.

Sirius had taken his place back beside James. Though today in Transfigurations he was sound asleep, McGonagall had noticed. She had tsked as she walked by the sleeping boy, but she didn't wake him. After she had seen the pitiful look James had given her.

It was no secret the marauders where her favorite students, though she did not treat them any different than the other students. It also was no secret she had a soft spot for Sirius Black. Most would say it was because she had been affected by the young boy's charm. While that was one of the reasons it was also his defiance against what others expected of him that made her take a liking to the young boy. She loved all four boys as much as the rest of her house and her students, but most everyone knew that when the marauders left Hogwarts no one would replace them in her heart.

When the bell rang James nudged Sirius who woke with little to no effort and rose.

"Mr. Black, can I see you a moment" McGonagall smiled from her desk as she straightened up from her class.

"Yes ma'am" Sirius smiled. When she was addressed as ma'am McGonagall's head jerked up, as well as earning a stare from a few students that remained in the class. Sirius Black did not call McGonagall by her ma'am. Nor did he call her by her last name or merely Professor. No since three months after his first year he had called her Minnie, of course it had annoyed her for some time but after realizing there was no changing it, she got used to it.

"Sirius" she started "Is there anything going on" she asked, watching the boy. Everything about his behavior had been off the past few weeks most of the teachers had been thrilled at first at his sudden good behavior. But now it had them all on guard and put off, not a prank the past two weeks. No undone homework. Sirius had transformed over night.

"No ma'am" Sirius smiled.

"You normally are a very good liar, but right now I can see right through you" McGonagall sighed "What's wrong"

"Nothing" Sirius sighed. "Nothing that can be fixed really"

"Try me"

"Pro-"

"Ok if you won't tell me then I'll give you a detention" the middle aged witch had nearly had enough "I cannot stand this behavior"

"Ma'am"

"THAT RIGHT HERE"

"…what" Sirius asked confused.

"You're…behaving, it's driving the staff and I crazy"

"Um…haven't you been telling me for years to behave?"

"Yes but not like this!"

"What would you prefer then?"

"Being yourself"

"That tends to get people hurt"

That stopped McGonagall in her tracks, as she looked at him eyebrow raised, demanding he continue.

"Just…"

"Go on"

"Remus and I had a fight; I was myself…ended up making him hate me. So…I'm trying something different" Sirius looked down at the mahogany desk, avoiding one of his favorite teachers' eyes. McGonagall would have laughed, probably so hard she collapsed if she hadn't known by the boy's tone he was very serious.

"Mr. Lupin can't hate you"

"He can and he does" Sirius looked at her.

"And you think he'll like you this way" she asked leaning forward eyeing the boy. Almost daring him to tell her she was wrong.

Sirius shrugged. "Who knows, he might hate me more but at least I tried"

"Sirius…" she sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose "Stop trying to be something your not. Even if it drives everyone crazy we'd prefer you that way" she looked at the boy "Because honestly you're driving me crazy. This is not you, I've know you since you started school, really if you want to think about it I knew you when you were a child. This is not you, and I for one do not like it so as your professor I demand you stop behaving like this"

"What happens if I don't" Sirius asked, a grin slipping on his face.

"You know how you hate the trophy room"

"Yea"

"I'll make you wish it never existed" Sirius blinked at the look in McGonagall's eyes.

"Dearest Minnie" he watched her smile "that's all you had to say"

"Good, now go carry on and cause chaos so I can punish you for that instead"

"As you wish" the eldest Black bowed before her before grabbing his bag and walking out.

When he left the room he couldn't help but sigh. His head hurt, he'd been thinking all night how to fix this and he was no where closer than he had been two weeks ago. He aimed a frustrated kick at nothing in particular as he stormed down the hall. Walking straight to the hospital wing, knowing it was a stupid idea he did it anyway. Because that's what Sirius did, he made stupid decisions and either they worked or they didn't. Either way it's what he did and he liked it that way.

When he walked inside he could hear Remus' voice he was talking to Madam Pomfrey. He watched the older witch pop her head out from behind the curtain to brush him out the door. Sirius shook his head, not a single no would turn him away. As he slid past her as she gasped at him.

"Morning Moony" Sirius smiled plopping down in the chair that he had been sitting at earlier that morning.

"What do you want" Remus grumbled, Sirius smiled at the already half eaten candy bar, he must have figured it was from James.

"I wanted to know how my best friend is doing"

"Wouldn't know him"

"You do too, stop playing like that"

"Like you have room to talk" Remus spat. "Look I made it clear…"

"That I wasn't to touch you" Sirius sat back "So I won't touch you" Sirius smiled. "You never said anything about talking to you"

Remus starred at the boy, almost like he had given him whiplash. He didn't realize he'd blinked so many times before he realized Sirius had mocked his blinking. "Get out"

"Why"

"Because I don't want to see you"

"But you always want me to come down here"

"That was before you…"

"How about we get this straight" Sirius leaned forward his hand resting in his lap. "You pulled me onto you" Sirius raised an eyebrow. "And don't look at me like that" Sirius chuckled "You did, if you'd let yourself remember"

Remus pushed back the memory of knotting Sirius' scarf in his hands, and pulling him over him. He tried to forget the way Sirius looked at him, full of shock but in this eyes glittered, was that hope? No it was lust because Sirius liked a thrill, along with the fun of a new chase. And poor Remus had been that new chase. He shook his head, no Sirius had crossed the line, and Remus was acting on drunken feelings.

"Leave, please" Remus whispered finally looking at Sirius. "I don't want you around, your toxic to me"

Sirius starred at him, almost confused as what he was talking about.

"I can't have you near me" Remus continued, "You put these ideas in my head, these…things I can't explain" he looked at Sirius, who's eyes hadn't left his face. "You used me for a cheap thrill"

"Now look here Lupin you…"

"Pulled you on top of me yes I know that, but you're the one who didn't stop when I clearly was drunk" he looked at Sirius whose eyes left his face and now stared at the floor. "Which is called taking advantage, or is that not what you told James second year"

Sirius felt his face flush, he felt his hands tremble. That's exactly what he had told James second year. He had told him it was something he would never do. And what had he done?

"But…"

"No buts, maybe with time these wounds will heal, but…I already have to deal with one moon, I won't deal with another" and with that Remus had made his close. He had made his final point.

Sirius stood up, nodding. He couldn't force any words to come out of his mouth as he stood but as he reached the curtain he stopped.

"You know Remus" he started before he turned and faced him; Remus looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. "I'd never taken advantage of anyone, except you. Most people would take that as a hint" and with that Sirius walked away, hoping maybe Remus might just understand.

When Remus heard the hospital wing doors shut he shook his head, shaking the pitter in his heart, the pitter of hope that he had taken that the way he had wanted to.

"Yea, it means you thought I wouldn't care" Remus whispered curling into his covers. He wouldn't let his heart trick him into falling back into his second full moon. Fall into the arms of a man who was just as dangerous to him as the full moon.

Even if the moon gave him strength and power. Even if the moon had brought him so many gifts, such as his friends. Even if the moon never really hurt it except for the curse of the wolf.

He wouldn't even let himself think that some people thought love was a curse.