This was the first time in my life that I had lost control of something as important as the birth control method. I turned on the bed, making Christian lie on me and he stared at me, smiling at me. He pointed a hand at my face. And I could see his intention in the look. He was going to take my mask off.

I reacted quickly and got out of bed away from him.

—Can't I see your face? —he asked me while I stared at him, staring away from him.

I decided to answer him with another question.

—May I see yours? —he stared at me.

—I don't think that's possible. —If you saw my face, I'm sure you'd scream.

—Are you disfigured? —he just laughed.

—No. I'm a public person and my face is well known, so I want to remain anonymous.

—I'm the same. —I replied smiling.

I imagined he was wondering who I was. But I wasn't going to tell him.

—Can I use the bathroom? —I asked him while he was pointing there.

—Can I come with you? —he asked me as he got out of bed.

—I need some privacy. —I said while I was almost running to the bathroom.

I picked up my clothes from the foot of the bed and went to the bathroom quickly. I closed the door as soon as I entered. I took off my mask and put it aside. I went to the shower and opened the water to rinse a little. I needed to get rid of all the whipped cream that I had on me. I rinsed quickly and after drying I put on my clothes, put on my mask again and came out of the bathroom. Christian was putting on his pants and staring at me when I came out of the bathroom looking for my shoes.

—I need to find my friend, I didn't tell her where I was going.

—Don't worry, we'll find her, I assure you she must be having fun. —he said to me as he stood in front of me.

God!

His body was to take the breath away. Pure muscle and no fat. Although he wasn't excessively muscular, he was perfectly defined everywhere. I could feel the rumbling of my heart in my chest as I did not take my gaze away from his body.

He lifted one hand and took me by the chin making me look into his eyes and take the lascivious look away from his naked body from the waist up.

—When can we see each other again?

—I don't think that's possible.

—Why not? Haven't you felt the same connection as me?

He raised his other hand and placed it over my heart and then smiled sideways. He took one of my hands between his and carried it to his chest.

—Doesn't my heart beat as fast as yours? —he said to me as I felt his heart wanting to escape from his chest.

Oh God!

I have to get out of here quickly.

—I need to go. —I said to him quickly as I made my way to the door.

Christian took me by the hand when I reached the door.

—Please. Give me one more night, just one. Let me show you who I am, how I am.

—I'm sorry, I can't. I'll never be able to show you who I am. I'm really sorry. —I said to him as I got rid of his hand and opened the door.

—Wait for me! —I felt him scream behind me.

But I didn't stop.

I hurried down the stairs. The music became more noticeable. I had completely forgotten that we were at a party.

When I got to the bottom floor I started looking for Kate. I found her sitting in a corner with Elliot I supposed. I got to where she was and she who was laughing stopped as soon as she saw my face.

—What's wrong?

—I need to get out of here now.

Kate got up quickly, apologized, and taking my hand we went out in search of my car.

I gave her the keys and after giving her the address I let her drive. I couldn't do it. My hands were shaking.

By the time Kate parked at Grace's house, I was calmer. I offered to stay with me that night, and she agreed. Also, at that time, I couldn't let her go.

I changed my clothes and dropped into bed while I covered my face with one arm. But I knew that peace and quiet wouldn't last long. I knew that sooner or later I would have to face Kate. I slowly pulled my arm away from my eyes and found her gaze.

—Please, not at this hour.

—This is the best time there is. Why did we have to run out of the best party in L.A.?

—Do you remember who I was dancing with? —I said to her as I sat on the bed.

—How could I forget those movements. —he replied with a smile.

—Yes, apparently he remembered them too. He's the same guy I slept with at the club, Kate.

—Yes, that's what Elliot told me.

—Did you know? Did you know I'd be at that party? —I can't believe he tricked me into going to that party.

—I didn't know. I left you dancing and I went for a drink, when I came back I couldn't find you. When I was looking for you, I met Elliot and he told me where you were, and who you were with.

I looked away from her for a moment.

—What happened Ana? You're scaring me. Did he do something to you against your will?

Well, if being handcuffed to bed and filled with whipped cream is against my will, I'll do it again.

—No Kate, he didn't do anything against my will, rather I let him do everything he wanted and much more. —I said to her as I stared into her eyes.

—Then what's the problem, why you came out of there as if...as if... —and she stared at me.—Tell me you didn't? Tell me you didn't lose control?

I dropped into bed again. This wasn't going to end well. I knew it.

—I did it.

—But that can't be, that only happens to you when...

And I decided to interrupt it.

—Yes, I only lose control when I fall in love. I know.

—Are you in love with him?

—I think so. But rather I ran out of there when he asked me one more night, he wanted to show me who he really was.

—And what did you say to him?

—I can't Kate, I can't have a relationship with anyone right now. Much less with him.

I couldn't explain how things were. I couldn't tell her that I knew who he was, and that according to our contract we couldn't be together. We had already slept together twice after signing, there couldn't be a third.

—So you won't see him anymore?

—No.

If she knew the truth. I will see him every day of the filming and torture myself seeing his naked body and kissing him and letting him caress me. Pretending that we are something when in reality we are nothing.

—Well, I won't touch on the subject anymore. How was the filming today?

—Good.

That's all I told her. I wasn't allowed to talk about the filming with anyone. We talked for a while more until the interrogation was over and I went to bed. Tomorrow would be another day.

My cell phone rang far away. I was tired, I didn't want to get out of bed and I refused to open my eyes. The cell phone stopped ringing. But I knew I had to get up or I would be late for the shoot. I hugged the hot pillow next to me more. A few minutes later I felt someone knocking on the door. But it was probably my imagination because I didn't feel it anymore.

—Anastasia, are you there? —Then I sat down all of a sudden on the bed.

What the fuck was Christian doing here? And then I looked at my side in bed. The hot pillow, to which I was hugging, was Kate.

—I'm in the room! —I yelled at him trying to keep him out.

Kate woke up with my screams and sat on the bed.

—What's going on? —she asked me half sleepy.

—Shhhh. —I put a hand in her mouth.

I felt his footsteps walk here.

—Don't come in, I'm naked. —I shouted at him trying not to meet Kate.

Christian couldn't see her. Without knowing it, she had slept with him on other occasion. And if he saw her, he would recognize her. And I'm sure he'd jump to conclusions quickly.

—As if I hadn't already seen you naked.

What do I do, what do I do?

—I'm not alone! —I shouted at him and his steps stopped.

I just hoped that it would be enough to keep him out. But then I felt his footsteps again and how the door opened slowly.

—Lie down and pretend you're asleep. —I told Kate and she looked at me. —I'll explain later.

And she quickly did as I asked.

Christian finished opening the door as I quickly got out of bed and met him in the middle of the room.

Christian looked at the bed and then stared at me.

—I thought you were naked? —he said, looking up and down at me and checking that I wasn't naked.

—I lied in that part, but not in the part where I was accompanied.

Christian looked back at the bed with a frown.

—I didn't know you liked women.

Oh God, how do I get out of this now?

—Anyone who gives me pleasure and satisfies me is good enough for me. —I said to him while he looked at me with a big smile.

—I see. My mother sent me to see if you had arrived well last night, apparently you are perfectly well. —he said as he turned around and headed for the door. —Don't be late.

That was the last thing he said as he left my room.

—You owe me a good explanation.

I turned to the bed where Kate was sitting looking at me very seriously.

—Who was it that came in that you didn't want me to see?

I knew there was only one way to escape this one.

—Christian.

—Why didn't you let me see Christian Grey up close?

—I'm sorry but I signed a confidentiality agreement, I can't tell you anything.

I had actually signed two agreements, but I wasn't going to go into the details of which of the two I couldn't violate.

—Yes, but what does that have to do with the fact that you didn't want him to see me. Why didn't you want him to see me?

—Kate, I don't want to lie to you, you're my best friend, but if you keep asking me I'm going to have to. —I said to her while I was going to the bathroom. —I can't tell you the truth.

When I finished in the bathroom and went out to the room Kate was sitting on the bed. And from the look on her face, I imagined she was waiting for an answer to her question.

—Then why didn't you want him to see me?

—Kate, don't insist. — I said to her while I was looking for some clothes in the closet.

—Ana, we've always told each other everything, and after filming the confidentiality contract, you know that nothing you tell me will come out of my lips.

—I can't tell you Kate. —please stop insisting.

—Ana, just tell me what the fuck you didn't want him to see me. —she said furiously.

—Because he could recognize you. — I shouted at her quickly and covered my mouth.

Shit!

Whenever I get angry I let go of the first thing that comes to my mind without my brain processing it.

—Now we're getting to something, where could he recognize me from?

It didn't matter if she found out, it's likely that sooner or later she'd draw her own conclusions.

—From when you slept with him. —I said to her as I stared at her evaluating her reaction.

—You're silly, but if I haven't slept with... Oh no! he is...

—Yes.

Kate let herself fall into bed.

—Shit, no wonder you couldn't tell. You're in love with Christian Grey, who happens to be the one you've fucked tied up and gagged. I never would have imagined that he was into all this.

—And I didn't tell you what he did to me last night. —I said to her as she raised her eyebrow now with curiosity. —Forget it, Kate, I'm not going to tell you anything else.

And I finished dressing under her attentive gaze. But in the end I had ended up telling her everything, otherwise I would tell her everything that was happening to me. She was the only one I could talk to about my problems. I don't think my brother was too interested in them. I'm sure he would be shocked by the things I've done.