Legal Stuff: I do not own Galaxy Angel. The anime is owned by Madhouse Media and the game and manga are owned by Broccoli. The art of the game and manga were drawn by Kanan.
Catfight! Sherry vs. Lulu!
The G.A.G. were sitting miserably in their tiny prison cell on board the Black Moon. Actually, to be more exact, it was more of a large bird's cage, with strong iron chains hooking it up to the ceiling. The cage hung perilously over a pit full of burning acid. The Hell Hounds and Lady Sherry were nearby, surrounding the area and guarding all four exits lest the three members escape. Sherry was elated.
"Wait until Lord Eonia hears about this!" said Sherry, clasping her hands to her heart.
"Yar, yar; we've heard you say that at least a hundred times already." came Vermouth's voice. He was lying lazily on a large slab of rock, which there was plenty of in this room of the Black Moon.
"Actually, she's only said it twenty four times." said Guinness, who was loafing around.
"…I was BEING sarcastic." retorted Vermouth, rolling his eyes—although one couldn't really tell with those swirly glasses of his.
Camus was sitting on another rock, Riserva next to him, with Red Eye leaning casually on the nearby wall. And fortunately for both Vermouth and Guinness, Sherry was too busy raving about how great Lord Eonia was to hear their comments.
And the Galaxy Angel Guys were sitting miserably in their prison—but that's been said already. The G.A.G. had also ditched their nurse costumes from earlier (which they had been wearing over their normal outfits).
"We are so screwed." Said Lester simply, sitting cross-legged in the middle of the cage. Takuto was also sitting cross-legged next to him, and Kuromie was standing at the edge, looking solemnly out through the bars. Takuto seemed deep in thought.
"Hey Lester," started Takuto suddenly, breaking the silence. "If a cat always lands on its feet, and toast always lands on the buttered side; then if we tie a piece of toast butter side-up onto the back of a cat, will it float?"
"…What the HELL kind of question is that?(!)" Lester spat. "And what the heck does that have to do with the situation we're in now?(!)"
"Well… Absolutely nothing!"
There was a loud "THWACK" and a strangled "Gah!" from Takuto as Lester swiftly whacked Takuto over the head with his closed fist.
"Lester, please." Said Kuromie, turning to face the two older members. "We have to work together if we want to get out of this place alive."
"I know that!" put in Lester angrily. "Unfortunately, our leader is somewhere in Lala Land thinking about cats and toast!"
"…I like toast." Said Takuto randomly.
"Don't make me smack you again." Lester threatened, and Takuto drew back quickly.
"I wonder if Space Whale Jr.'s okay…" thought Kuromie, sighing, as he remembered how he had left the space whale calf inside the space pod at the landing dock.
"You actually mean to tell me that the Galaxy Angel Guys have been captured?" asked Eonia, pleasantly surprised. He and Noa were currently standing in his room.
"Yes, dear brother." Said Noa in the same sickly sweet tone, waving her tentacle arm around playfully.
"Wonderful! With the Galaxy Angel Guys (ugh, that's a long name) in my grasp, I will interrogate them about their plans, hold them for ransom, and then lie and torture them to a horrid and painful death instead! Muhaha!"
All the while, Noa just smiled.
"We're doomed..." wailed Takuto like a banshee.
"Well thanks for stating the obvious!" spat out Lester sarcastically.
"You guys, please..." put in Kuromie trying to pacify the two older members.
The Hell Hounds outside had turned to a board game of Chinese Checkers, while Sherry still babbled on about the greatness of Lord Eonia in the background.
"Geez, does she EVER shut up?" said Riserva under his breath.
"...You have obviously never been near her enough." This came from a bored Camus, in a heavy French accent.
"..." went Red Eye.
"...I don't understand this game..." said Guinness, looking down at the board in confusion.
"I win!" cried Vermouth. "Hmm, maybe we should start betting..."
"Hey," interjected Guinness, bringing out a pack of cards. "How about we play strip poker instead!"
"NO." said the other Hell Hounds simultaneously.
Back in the cage a few feet away...
"We're doooooomed..." wailed Takuto once again. Lester and Kuromie seemed put on edge by this display.
"Doooooomed... Doooooomed...Doo—KAPOW!"
"SHUT UP!" shouted Lester, loosing his nerve, after delivering yet another swift whack to the back of Takuto's head.
"Eh? What's that noise?" asked Kuromie, turning towards one of the exits at the front of the room, though he couldn't really tell if it was the front or not, due to the whole room looking completely symmetrical.
The door was slowly creaking open...
"Lord Eonia?" cried Sherry happily, while the G.A.G. looked with horror towards the opening door.
"Oh shi—oot." said Lester, quickly changing the curse word to a less offensive word when he caught sight of Kuromie's glare.
"We're gonna die!" sobbed Takuto.
The door finally opened all the way. There was a lone figure engulfed in the glare of the light in the background. Then, the figure stepped forward, until...
"You!" half screamed and half yelled Sherry, pointing a finger at the figure. For the figure was...
"Lulu!" cried a surprised Takuto from behind the bars of the cage.
"It's that crazy girl who kidnapped you!" put in Lester.
"...Why is Takuto always getting kidnapped by girls?" asked Kuromie.
"Err..." stammered Takuto.
However, Sherry heard none of this conversation, for she was glaring angrily at Lulu, who had started to speak.
"So, we meet again Lady Sherry." Lulu pronounced the word "Lady" with disgust. "I thought you died."
There was an angry gasp from Sherry, and a low "ooooo" from her Hell Hounds.
"How dare you talk to me like that," started Sherry. "I am a higher ranking official than you!"
"It doesn't matter," said Lulu. "Because Lord Eonia will always favor me more!"
Lulu seemed to have hit a nerve, for in a moment Sherry suddenly became livid with rage.
"I'm his favorite! He doesn't even notice you!" shouted Sherry, pointing accusingly at Lulu, Phoenix Wright style.
"Wha? ...You!"
"And besides, I am the one who truly loves Lord Eonia!"
"Well, I love him more!"
"I love him more than you!"
"I love him way more than YOU!"
"I love him most of all!"
"No, I love him most of all!"
"No, me!"
"Me!"
"ME!"
"...This is giving me a headache." said Red Eye, putting a hand over his forehead.
"Right that." said Vermouth.
"Wow, Eonia's a pimp!" said Takuto, and he was swiftly whacked by Lester for it.
"...What's a pimp?" asked Kuromie, innocently.
"I'll tell you when you're older." said Lester.
"O…kay."
Meanwhile, Sherry and Lulu had been reduced to glaring angrily at each other, trying to out-do one another in how loud they could go "grrrr..."
Lester looked from the two glaring women to the Hell Hounds, who had their backs to the G.A.G.
"Hey, I think we might have a chance to escape, if we're quick enough." Said Lester, indicating that the Hell Hounds and Sherry were distracted.
"But how?" whined Takuto, in a …whiney voice.
"Takuto, may I please see your chrono crystal for a moment?" asked Kuromie, holding out a hand.
"Um, sure. I don't see why not…" said Takuto, taking off the triangle shaped crystal from the front of his uniform and putting it in Kuromie's hand.
Kuromie turned the crystal over on its back and inspected it. Then he held it out, took aim at a small rock on the ground, and pressed a button. A red laser beam shot out from the middle of the crystal, and completely vaporized the rock. Takuto and Lester were awestruck. Luckily, the Hell Hounds, Sherry, and Lulu, were still too wrapped up in their situation to take notice at the noise.
"Wowee, that's AWESOME!" cried Takuto.
"Whose bright idea was it to give something that powerful to a guy like Takuto?" asked Lester, though it was more of a statement than a question. "He's the kind of guy who can't even handle NORMAL guns!"
"That doesn't matter now!" said Kuromie, getting straight to business. "What matters now is that we get out of here alive."
"How are we going to do that?" This was asked by Takuto.
"Oh come on, Takuto!" said Kuromie. "You're our commander! You're smarter than that!"
Takuto scratched his head, and closed his eyes in thought.
"Aha!" he cried suddenly, scaring both Kuromie and Lester. Takuto quickly grabbed the crystal out of Kuromie's hand.
"Hey, be careful with that thing…" said Lester, more than a little worried.
Takuto took aim and then used the laser to cut through four of the bars near the top. He did the same near the bottom.
"Ah, I see." Said Lester. You're going to make an opening for escape!"
"Yes, and a ramp too!" Put in Kuromie, clasping his hands.
The G.A.G. quickly and quietly lowered the bars to the ground, and one by one, they got out of the cage. Fortunately for them, their guards were still preoccupied as the two women started arguing again.
"You think you're such an angel, don't you!" came Sherry's sneering voice from a distance. "You think you're such a goodie-two-shoes!"
"Well at least I'm not a suck up." Countered Lulu, an angry tone.
"You… You…" sputtered Sherry.
"Not only that, but you're a jerk! And ugly! And stupid!"
"ARRG! Oh yeah? Well you're a-"
Sherry then proceeded to say a whole string of insults, which were much too offensive for this writer to write down.
"Ouch…" said Takuto from afar. He and the rest of the G.A.G. were quietly sneaking towards the exit at the back of the room (or, so they thought; it was kind of hard to tell.).
"It's got one of those hand scanners on them!" whispered Kuromie, who was the first to get near the door. "How will we get out now?"
"I… Have an idea." Put in Lester suddenly. "I need to borrow your chrono crystal first."
He took the crystal from Takuto and raised it up towards the ceiling.
"When I shoot, prepare to run." Said Lester calmly.
"…Why?" asked Takuto slowly.
Lester aimed at a sprinkler on the ceiling and shot. It quickly exploded and started spewing water. All the other sprinklers that were arranged about the ceiling did the same. At the same time, all the exits opened.
"WHAT THE HECK?(!)" came a shout from a distance. This belonged to an enraged Sherry. "My clothes! They're ruined!"
"Hey, the Galaxy Angel Guys are getting away!" This came from Vermouth, as the Hell Hounds had finally taken notice of their escapees.
"Run, NOW!" shouted Lester, as the G.A.G. quickly ran out the exit.
"After them!" yelled Sherry.
"Yes ma'm!" went the Hell Hounds as the quickly pursued the G.A.G.
"Ha, you can't even keep hold of your prisoners before Lord Eonia gets here!" Said Lulu triumphantly.
Sherry turned angrily on Lulu.
"This is all YOUR fault!"
"What?(!)"
"If you hadn't gone and distracted me, this would never have happened!"
"Well, it's your OWN fault for being distracted!"
"Why you little-"
And this went on again for quite some time, but let's not bore you with the trivial stuff.
"Whatarewegoingtodonow?" asked Takuto, though in his rush of adrenaline, his sentence came out jumbled.
"We run like hell, that's what." Said Lester, in the lead. Kuromie followed closely after, and in the rear was Takuto.
"It's no use to run if we don't know where we're going!" cried Kuromie, trying to be level-headed. "We'll just get lost!"
"Well at least we'll hopefully be able to lose them too." Stated Lester, nodding towards the Hell Hounds behind. Luckily, the G.A.G. had a head start, so the Hell Hounds still had a couple more yards to go before they would catch up.
"Hey guys! I see two paths!" This was said by their heavily panting commander. And indeed there was. One path went left, another to the right.
From a distance, the Hell Hounds saw the Galaxy Angel Guys head left, just as they neared the spot.
"Aha, we've caught them now!" shouted Guinness joyfully.
The Hell Hounds rounded the corner themselves, and then met—not the G.A.G.—but five dark passages.
"…Crap." Went Vermouth. "Now which way did they go?"
"How am I supposed to know?" replied Camus in that same heavy French accent. He seemed annoyed, though that was probably because his hair was disheveled from the sprinklers and the run.
"I guess we have no choice but to split up." Said an equally annoyed Riserva. "Let's hope the G.A.G. did that too. If they did, they'll be easier to catch."
And with that, the Hell Hounds parted ways, each going into a different passageway.
"YOU LOST THEM?"
This came from a furious Eonia. Lady Sherry and Lulu were bowing near Eonia's feet, cowering. Noa was standing near Eonia, shaking her head in disdain.
"We're so sorry Lord Eonia…" came the voices of the two women.
"If it weren't for Lulu…" started Sherry, turning an angry glare at Lulu.
"What?(!)" prickled Lulu. "Accusing me again when it's your own damn fault-"
"ENOUGH!" shouted Eonia, and the two ladies cowered again. "I thought I could count on you Sherry, but I guess I was wrong."
"Ha." Whispered Lulu, loud enough for only Sherry to hear. Sherry gave her the evil eye.
"—And you, Lulu." Eonia continued.
"Yes, my lord?" asked Lulu, standing up hopefully, thinking that Sherry might finally be fired.
"How dare you come onto the Black Moon without my permission?"
"W-what?" sputtered Lulu, as a look of shock fell over her face. "B-but, my lord…"
"I specifically told you to gather information, and you disobeyed me!"
"B-but…but!"
"And not only that, but you caused the Galaxy Angel Guys to escape. You've really disappointed me."
Of all the insults Sherry said to Lulu, nothing could match what Eonia said in that single sentence. Lulu was absolutely crushed. She fell to her knees with a dull "thump." Tears fell to the floor. Even Sherry was kind enough not to taunt Lulu. After all, it's not nice to kick a girl when she's down.
Eonia turned his back to the two ladies, and Noa went to him.
"Big brother, dear brother…" started Noa, in that same sickly sweet tone. "I can re-capture the G.A.G. so easily. Why don't you let me do it? And I won't fail so miserably like these two pawns."
Here Sherry and Lulu gave their death glares to Noa, who only stuck out her tongue teasingly at them. If there was only one thing that Sherry and Lulu would ever agree on, it would be their hatred of Noa—and their love for Eonia.
"I'll give you two a chance to make up for this mistake." Said Eonia suddenly, which came as a surprise to all three girls. Noa reacted violently.
"What?(!)" cried Noa angrily. "Why are you giving them another chance when you know that they'll just fail?(!)"
"I believe in them." Stated Eonia. "And you've created enough of a mess yourself, Noa. You should go clean up your room."
Noa was shocked at this comment. Meanwhile, Sherry and Lulu quickly stood up, and saluted.
"We won't let you down Lord Eonia!" said Sherry and Lulu together.
Noa just gave a loud "hmph!" and ran back towards her room.
As this was all happening, Camus, the Hell Hound leader, was currently wandering down the dark passageway alone. He had taken the middle passage.
"This dankness can not be good for my hair!" said Camus out loud.
Suddenly, there was a loud battle cry, and Camus was immediately on the floor and tied up faster than you can say "."
"Ha, looks like you're all tied up now, Camus!" This comment came from none other than Commander Takuto.
"Wandering around here without a weapon, we were really lucky." This comment came from none other than Space Whale-Keeper Kuromie.
"That was easier than I thought. Good thing he's such a pansy." And this, of course, came from none other than Vice-Commander Lester.
"I am not a pansy!" cried Camus angrily, but since he had rope binded around his mouth, it sounded more like, "Um mm mm mamsee!" Lester rolled his one eye and quickly removed the rope around Camus's mouth.
"Alright," started Lester. "Tell us how to get back to the landing dock, and we won't hurt you."
"Never!" was Camus's reply.
"Guess we have no choice but to torture it out of him…" said Takuto, scratching his head.
"W-wait, torture?" stuttered Camus.
"Yup, if you won't tell us where the landing site is…" started Takuto, grinning. "We'll have no choice but to burn your hair!"
"…One inch at a time." Finished Lester, also grinning.
Camus looked horror-struck.
"I don't think it was very nice to leave him tied up like that…" said Kuromie, as the G.A.G. resumed their running, now towards the landing dock and escape.
"Well, would you rather face the wrath of Eonia?" asked Lester, in the lead once again. "After all, they're the enemies; we can't do anything about that. At least we didn't burn his hair, since he cracked after we threatened him."
"Still…" said Kuromie, frowning. "If only we had met on better terms…"
"Look, that's our space pod!" shouted Takuto, pointing towards it. They were currently in the landing dock, approaching the pod, when suddenly…
"Stop right there!"
The G.A.G. gasped, for standing right in their way was Sherry and Lulu. Sherry was wielding a whip, and Lulu held throwing knives in her hands.
"So close…" wailed Takuto, as he and the other two members backed away slowly.
"I knew the Hell Hounds couldn't be trusted." Said Sherry.
"Yeah, but WE won't let you escape twice!" said Lulu.
"Wow, they're actually working together." Noted Kuromie. Takuto and Lester exchanged glances. Kuromie's observation gave them an idea.
"Sherry would OBVIOUSLY be Eonia's favorite." Lester started suddenly. Sherry, Lulu, and Kuromie were taken aback.
"Lester, what-?" asked Kuromie, but Takuto butted in.
"No way! I believe that Lulu is Eonia's favorite!"
Kuromie then understood what the two older members were up to. He smiled and let Takuto and Lester continue their act.
"Sherry's sexier," said Lester, resisting the urge to gag, since he would never say something like that aloud, even if it about someone he liked. "And she's also older. I've heard that Eonia likes older women."
"Yeah, but Lulu's cuter. And daintier." This was said by Takuto, but unlike Lester, he actually meant it.
Sherry and Lulu still looked on, speechless.
"Are they actually fighting…about us?" asked Lulu.
"That vice-commander's right, though." Said Sherry smugly. "I am sexier."
"That isn't enough to make you Eonia's favorite." Said Lulu hotly, turning to glare at Sherry. "As Takuto said, I'm much cuter."
"It doesn't matter; I'M Lord Eonia's favorite!"
"No, me!"
"Me!"
"ME!"
"It's working!" whispered Kuromie to the two older members, who had stopped their skit to watch the two women argue.
"Now's our chance!" said Lester. "Run for it!"
Sherry and Lulu had now started fighting each other with their weapons.
"I'll always be his favorite!" huffed Sherry, swinging her whip like a mad woman. "Lord Eonia tells me EVERYTHING!"
"Well I get the secret missions and stuff!" huffed Lulu, dodging Sherry's attacks and countering with thrown knives. "Bet you didn't know THAT!"
"The G.A.G. are getting away!" This was said by a heavily panting Vermouth. The Hell Hounds had re-grouped by now (including a freed Camus) and were running towards the two fighting women. The comment was enough to bring Sherry and Lulu out of their fighting trance and they turned to look at the space pod in horror. Sure enough, the G.A.G. were going inside it.
"So it was all a trick to distract us!" cried Sherry, as realization finally hit.
"Just so you know," started Lester. "You aren't really my type, Sherry."
"But you can go out with me anytime!" said Takuto, and this was, of course, aimed at Lulu.
"I hate you and I never want to see you again!" was Lulu's angry reply.
Lester rolled his one eye again and quickly pulled Takuto by the ear into the pod. Kuromie was already inside, having a happy reunion with his space whale calf.
"Let's go!" said Lester, pushing buttons.
The space pod slowly drew away from the dock.
"Someone, please, stop them!" cried a frantic Sherry, but it was no use. The G.A.G. space pod had already gone into space and flown away. Lulu crumpled to the floor. The Hell Hounds looked on with a sinking feeling in their stomach.
"That's bad…right?" asked Guinness, hesitantly.
"Aw darn," started Lester, who was driving the pod back towards the G.A.G. base. "We were supposed to gather information about Eonia's plans, but we were too busy escaping!"
"I guess we'll just have to tell General Luft that we failed this one…" said Kuromie sadly, sitting in one of the pod's chairs, with Space Whale Jr. in his lap.
"Not quite."
Lester and Kuromie turned to their smiling commander, who was holding a disk he had swiped from Noa's room. Their faces soon lit up with smiles too.
"Ugh…" went Sherry. She, Lulu, and the Hell Hounds were currently cleaning the docks. That was their punishment (declared by Eonia) for letting the Galaxy Angel Guys escape (again).
"Well, this isn't so bad…" said Vermouth, trying to lighten the situation. "At least we didn't have to scrub the toilets…"
"Don't jinx it!" Was the reply of the other Hell Hound members.
"This is all your fault!" cried Sherry, throwing down the sponge with which she had been scrubbing the floor. It splashed into the bucket of water near her, creating an even bigger mess. Sherry pointed accusingly at Lulu. "Because of you, I got distracted! We never should have worked together!"
"Like I had a choice!" countered Lulu, wielding the mop she was using like a sword.
Sherry and Lulu then began a full on fight, with slapping and hair-pulling. The Hell Hounds just looked on, mouths open.
"Whoo, cat fight." Said Vermouth, sniggering.
"At least we get some entertainment." Put in Guinness happily.
"I wonder if their clothes will get ripped off…" said Camus, grinning.
"You guys are such perverts…" stated Riserva, rolling his eyes.
"…" went Red Eye.
END!
(Yes, I finally went on and finished this two-part story. A four-part story is coming up next!)
Additional notes: Okay, here's how I came up with this chapter, in case you're wondering.
In my imagination:
Sherry: I love Eonia!
Lulu: Well I love Eonia more!
(Insert chibi fight here)
Yeah...
Anyway, I hope the language didn't offend anyone. I noticed there was a lot more cursing in this chapter than the previous ones.
Character bio time!
Lulu (last name unknown): (Poor Lulu, she's so minor, the producers don't even have a character bio for her! Manga only character.)
Gender: Female
Age: I'm pretty sure she's only 17 or 18. She could also be 16 too, but I think that's pushing it a bit.
Height: At least a head shorter than Takuto. I think she's around Milfie's height, which would be about 5'1''
Job: She does missions for Eonia. That's all I know. She used to be under Sherry's orders, but now works on her own.
Looks: She has white shoulder-length hair, wears a white frilly dress, and has glasses.
Personality: She's obsessed with Eonia (much like Sherry is). However, she's much more of a crybaby, and less experienced than Sherry is at her job. She's a bit flirtatious too…
My Opinion: Although I don't like Lulu much as a character, I do like her as a villain. She had so much potential. Sadly, she only appeared in GA vol. two. I was hoping she'd make a come-back later, but I guess Kanan didn't find time to put her in. Oh well… I gave her knives to throw because I thought that would be kind of cool, even if it is a bit out of character for her…
See you next time!