Chapter 14: Taking Chances

Author's Note: Omigod, I wanna start by saying I really appreciate all the reviews and enthusiasm for the last chapter, I was really worried you wouldn't like it. And I also wanted to say my updates will start to slow down because I start my senior year of school tomorrow, but I know you don't care about that. Lol. And for those who are wondering, Jake's little modd swings are a part of the change he's going to be going through,the whole head injury thing did a little more for him than he knows. And enough spoilers, so on we go.

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What do you say to taking chances

What do you say to jumping off the edge

Even if there's hell to pay

What do you say (Celine Dion)

As Jake walked away from the place he called home and the people he'd called his family, the sound of the door slamming echoed in his ears he found himself walking, his bike completely forgotten. Soon, his legs began to work faster and faster until he was running. He didn't phase, he didn't need others finding their way into his head. So he ran, his human legs carrying him as far and as fast as they could.

Jake tried to think as he ran, tried to remember what had just happened, but he couldn't. He didn't know where his attitude had come from or the utter sense of confidence he had felt. But now as he ran he found his anger, his pride, his defiance, all of it melting away and confusion taking his place.

Was this really what he wanted. Yes. No. Maybe. Probably not, but he also knew he wanted Edward. His chest grew heavy at the thought of his name. Jake knew he wanted Edward, but did Edward want him. Jake tried to shake the sinking feeling that was washing over him. Even if he had agreed to cut of his feelings for Edward, or at least tried to, eventually his feelings would grow for someone else. One could only suppress themselves and the way they felt for so long.

By now the lights of La Push and the sounds of the freeway were beginning to fade, replaced by the sound of his heart pounding in Jake's ears. Jake could feel his clothes begin to stick to him and his hair begin to fall.

It was raining. Jake thought about how appropriate the change in the weather was. But he only lingered on the thought for a moment.

Soon after the rain started Jake's pace slowed until he was walking again. His legs ached and his heart and lungs felt like they were on fire, but Jake ignored the pain. Realizing that sooner or later he was going to have to phase. He had no where else to go. At least as a wolf he could live off the earth. For a few brief seconds the idea didn't seem so bad, but then the reality of what was happening it hit him.

He was alone. And not the melodramatic teenager kind of alone. The kind where you really have nowhere to go. The kind when you had no one to turn to. The kind of alone where you didn't even know if you could count on yourself. Or if you even liked the person you were.

And not only was he alone, but he was lost. And not just the emotionally confused kind of lost. But the kind where you look around and go, "Where the hell am I?" Only Jake didn't vocalize his question.

Jake stopped moving and looked around. Nothing was all that familiar, but then again, how familiar could things be? It was all green. Jake sighed and closed his eyes and breathed in, but stopped, because it had hit him again. Even if he did know where he was, did it really matter? Where was he trying to find his way to?

Once he'd found his answer he began moving again, unwilling to linger on it. Jake tried to think about something. Anything. But his mind was to jumbled for him to pick out a coherent thought. All he could do was watch as his mind flashed through a sort of slide show of the past two days. Bike. Blood. Pain. Tubes. Drugs. Edward. Shower. Edward. Alice. Pack. Punch. Run. Over and over again the same sad show, that was his life, played over and over again.

When Jake was finally able to pull himself out of his thoughts he looked up to find where his legs as taken him as his mind had wandered off in other directions.

The familiar giant, white house filled his line of vision. This was a joke, right? Some sick joke that his mind and body had decided to play on him. The show of memories in his head had been a distraction while his legs betrayed him.

Even through the rain Jake could see the lights of the house through the windows, but he didn't see any shadows moving through them.

Jake stood at the edge of the forest contemplating whether or not to go up to the door and knock. By now they had to smell him. Jake laughed internally at what Rosalie had to be doing; turning up her nose and frowning as she chocked out the phrase, "Ew, I smell wet dog." However, his amusement was short lived.

For a few more moments Jake contemplated what to do, but he knew he had no business here. One more place he didn't belong. Jake pushed his hands into the pockets of his soaked pants and closed his eyes. As he breathed in he could feel his mind clearing and for a short moment he could smell him. And despite the fact that everything had just fallen apart, he was at peace. The image of Edward's perfect faced filled his mind. But just as quick as it had come it was gone. Jake opened his eyes, but realized he could still smell him. Jake cursed himself silently. This place wasn't good for him.

As Jake turned to leave his heart stopped for a short moment, "Edward."

Edward stood in front of Jake, just as wet as he was. His eyes were clouded and confused and for a moment Jake thought he could see past the hard mask that resided on the rest of Edward's face, but then the moment was gone, "What is it, Jake?" His voice wasn't as cold as his features, it was...pained almost.

Jake hesitated for a moment, "I...I don't know." Edward threw him a confused glance, "I was just leaving."

Immediately guilt worked its way into Edward as he saw just how broken the boy in front of his was and as Jake went to walk past him, Edward reached out and gripped Jake's arm gently.

Jake was surprised at the burst of cold electricity that rushed through him and he looked up at Edward, "What are you doing?" Jake spoke softly, he couldn't take another let down tonight.

Edward looked up at the boy, "What's wrong, Jake?"

Jake looked down at the ground, "Nothing."

Edward cracked a small smile, "You're not a good liar."

Jake looked up at him, his mind running through a silent run down of the night's events but Edward just looked at him, Jake grew confused, "Well aren't you going to say anything?"

For a moment Edward was confused, but soon he realized that Jake didn't know that he couldn't hear him. It was Edward's turn to look away, but his gaze returned to Jake before he spoke, "I can't hear you."

"What do you mean you can't..." Jake trailed off, growing worried, he stepped closer to Edward, "Are you alright? Did something happen?"

Edward's hand dropped from Jake's arm and he shook his head, "Not to me."

Jake was momentarily thrown by Edward's cryptic answer, but the realization of what he meant came quickly, "You mean...my accident?"

Edward nodded, "When you woke up, it was silent." Jake's face fell and even through the heavy rain Edward could see the sadness on the boys face. It was Edward who stepped closer this time, his hand going back to Jake's arm, "What's wrong."

Jake looked up, "Nothing, I just..." he paused for a moment, unsure of whether or not to continue, but an encouraging squeeze on his arm from Edward pushed him on, "I don't want you to not be able to hear me," Jake's word's were barely a whisper.

Even as the rain pounded into the ground Jake's words were clear in his ears, "Why?"

Jake shrugged, he really didn't know why the news was so hard for him to accept. He looked to Edward, "I just...I liked having you there."

Now Edward was the one who was thrown. He looked up at Jake and realized he was telling the truth. He stepped closer to him, a small smile playing on his lips, "I'm still here." Edward inched forward once more, "As long as you'll have me of course."

Jake smiled and for a small moment, the entire night had faded away and Jake felt like he belonged.

Edward's hand fell from Jake's arm, but in stead he took Jake's hand in his, "Come on." Edward smiled and led Jake across the lawn up to the porch. The two stood in a comfortable silence for a moment, small smiles on bother their faces. With his free hand Edward reached up and brushed a strand of rain-soaked hair out of Jake's face. He didn't pull away, but instead rested it against Jacob's cheek, he smiled as Jake leaned into his touch, "Now are you going to tell me why you're here?" Edward's voice was soft and inviting, but concern was still evident.

Jake looked down at Edward's concerned face, but didn't speak. He could feel his heart speeding up and he chewed lightly on his bottom lip. He sighed and closed his eyes. What was Edward going to think when he told him what had happened? Surely he would be shocked and send him on his way, reprimanding him for his stupidity.

Edward frowned as Jake visibly locked up. He slowly and gently massaged Jake's warm cheek with his hand, "Hey, you can tell me," Edward spoke softly and kept their hands intertwined as he stepped closer to Jake.

Jake opened his eyes and let out a deep breath, "You won't like it."

"How about I be the judge of that," He rubbed his cold thumb against Jacob's soft, warm cheek.

Jake took a deep breath and let it out before opening his mouth to speak, "I got exiled."

Edward's eyes widened, and his hand tightened on Jake's, "What? Why?" His voice wasn't soft anymore, but angry, "Just because you got hurt. Jake this is ludicrous, you've got to go back and fix this."

How could the pack have done this. Maybe it wasn't the best decision for Jake not to let them know what had happened, but this was a little extreme. Besides Jacob hadn't been the only one to keep them out of the loop.

Jake shook his head, "That's not why." Jake said nothing else and waited for Edward to put the pieces together himself.

"Then why..." Edward trailed off as he looked up at Jake. He couldn't have...no...it had to be another reason, "You didn't." Jake looked down, away from Edward's eyes. Edward's hand fell from Jake's face and his hand released Jake's. Edward took a step back, "Why would you do that, Jake? What were you thinking?"

Jake looked up at him, pain and rejection heavy on his face, "I don't know...it just...it felt like my only option."

Edward laughed sarcastically, "Well it wasn't."

Edward's words cut Jake deeper than any wound, "And what other option was there?"

Edward stumbled, "I don't know, just not that one."

Jake looked away from him, back out to the forest. So much for no more let downs tonight, "They wanted me to stop," Jake spoke softly, his eyes still locked on the forest.

Edward spoke just as softly, "Then you should have."

Jake couldn't help it as his head snapped back to Edward, "What?" He made no effort to hide the pain in his voice.

Edward looked down at the ground, the pain that was written on Jake's face was too much, "You can't abandon them. Not for me."

Jake frowned, "I didn't," Edward looked up, "They abandoned me," Jake could see Edward begin to speak, but cut him off, "If it hadn't been you and it hadn't been now, the time would have come eventually. I would have fallen for someone else and they would have wanted me to stop then, too."

"Jake-" Edward began, but once again Jake interrupted him.

"No. Stop doing that, just stop," Jake's voice was pleading.

"Stop what?" Edward made a confused face.

Jake sighed, "The excuses. All the reasons why I shouldn't want to be with you. None of them are ever going to be enough to make me stop wanting you."

"Make them enough," Edward was pleading now.

"Don't you think I've tried?" Jake shook his head, "I've been fighting this for months. I don't want to want you. Don't you think I know this is wrong?" Jake laughed sadly, "I'm supposed to hate you," Jake looked at Edward, an expression of pure desperation on his face, "Everything I feel for you is wrong. I shouldn't look at you and wish you'd look at me like there's one else around. I shouldn't go home and dream about you. I shouldn't burn inside after you kiss me and count down until the next time you will. I shouldn't like the way you smell. I shouldn't love you." Jake's eyes widen the moment the words left his mouth, "Oh, god."

Jake watched as Edward body went rigid. As his face displayed his shock. Jake had never meant to put it all out there like that and now he was sure he'd pushed Edward too far. Maybe it was for the best. Now Edward knew everything and when he rejected him, Jake would know that he'd done all he could.

Edward stood frozen at Jake's words, but not for the reason's Jake was probably thinking. Hell, he stood frozen for reasons that even went against everything he knew he should do. Edward knew he shouldn't be feeling elated. He should send Jake on his way, but he couldn't. He wouldn't. Edward's eyes never left Jake and he tried to find the words, he tried to find any words, but nothing left his mouth with every mistart.

Jake's head hung in shame and rejection, "Right," he spoke more to himself, but raised his head, prepared to address Edward, "I'm sorry."

Still Edward said nothing.

Jake could feel his chest growing heavy and turned to head back out into the rain, but found himself being pulled back and before his mind could fully register the moment his back crashed into the wall and Edward was standing in front of him. Jake's eyes instinctively hardened and his body tensed, but as Edward's cold lips descended onto his own Jake's body relaxed and melted into the cool one that pressed into his.

Edward's arms wrapped around Jake's neck as Jake's wrapped around his waist, pulling his body even harder against his.

Jake moaned as Edward's cool body pressed into his and Edward didn't hesitate in taking advantage of this. His tongue darted into the warm cavern of Jacob's mouth and began to eagerly explore every inch of the warm space, relishing the taste of Jacob's breath on his tongue.

Jacob moaned into Edward's mouth, but his pleasure was short lived as Edward's lips pulled of his, "Don't," Jake begged.

Edward looked up into the pleading brown eyes, "Are you sure?"

Jake didn't bother answering, instead he crashed his lips back onto Edward's. There was no way he'd ever be able to find the words to convey just how sure he really was.

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Author's Note: Did that totally suck? ugh, I don't know, but I think it's doesn't suck enough to post it. I hope you guys enjoyed this. But now I need your opinion. In the next chapter the Cullen's will get the news of Jake and Edward's 'relationship', BUT it's up to you guys if they (Edward and Jake) get down and dirty. So, go, review...tell me whatcha want, whatcha really really want. Lol.