Chapter 13: Blackmail - Kili
"Wyenne, wake up" Whispered Thorin softly, shaking me. It was dawn, the sun would rise anytime and he had the last watch. So it was safe to leave the others behind. He placed his finger to his lips in a gesture of silence and signaled with his head for me to follow him. We both sneaked out of the encampment and into the woods. He took orcrist with him just in case.
"Here!" whispered Thorin, "Can you see the others?"
"No, I think we left them far behind enough" I responded.
"Good!" He said, pulling me to him by the waist from behind.
"Oh, Thorin.." I chuckled softly, turning around to nuzzle with him, wrapping my arms around his neck.
"I have missed you" He said, devouring my lips hastily...
Simultaneously, Kili was only pretending to be asleep and saw us leaving. This was his great chance. He made sure we were gone, and then he sneaked out too in opposite direction. Curiously, he did not invite his brother this time. He wanted to be alone...
Morning had broken and one by one the rest of the company woke up. Bilbo was still stretching when Dwalin tossed a pair of rabbits on his lap.
"Your turn to cook!" He said.
"Me?!" Exclaimed Bilbo, still a bit disoriented.
"Don't worry, lad. I'll help you!" Said Bofur with an ear to ear smile.
On our way back, I heard steps on the grass. Thorin pushed me behind him, hand on the hilt of his sword and ready to attack. But all he found was a deer hopping by. I smiled ear to ear, and decided to chase it.
"Wyenne, wait!" Thorin whispered.
"I just want to see where it goes. I won't go far, I promise!" I said with a smile.
"Women..." he said, shaking his head and rolling his eyes.
The deer kept hopping and I lost it from sight. But then the giggles of a female voice nearby got my attention. I sneaked between the bushes and what I saw got me turning all shades of red; It was Kili kissing a she elf with passion. He had her sitting on his lap. I turned around with embarrassment, covering my mouth to suppress a giggle. As promised, I returned to Thorin.
"What's the amusement about?" He asked.
"Oh, nothing other than love being in the air. I just lost the deer from sight. And I found these Rosemaries. They will justify our long absence." I said.
"Brilliant. Now let's go!" He responded.
We love birds returned to the encampment, holding hands and smiling. It was refreshing to see Thorin in good spirits. I handed my Rosemaries to Bilbo and Bofur, joining them to help season the meal. Thorin on the other hand, reunited with Balin and Dwalin to trace the day's plans. Kili returned after a while, adjusting his trousers and letting out a merry sigh.
"Where did you go? I was looking for you!" Fili confronted him.
"What? I was just watering the flowers! Do I need your company for that?" said Kili.
"You were gone for too long. Don't scare me like that again, ok?" said Fili.
Before long, everybody gathered for breakfast. Bilbo and I distributed the bowls to each. Once everybody was served, I sat by the boys to eat. Fili rose up to go repeat. That's when Kili made his move on me.
"So tell me, how good is he?" He gave me the elbow with a naughty smile.
"Pardon me?" I responded, unsure of what he meant.
"I saw you sneaking out at dawn with uncle." He said sharply.
"Oh bite your tongue! That's none of your business. We have the right to privacy." I responded with indignation.
"Not if I speak, it will be the end of your privacy!" He said with mischief.
"But I know you will not speak, ELF lover?" I said sharply towards him.
"What did you call me?" He narrowed his eyes at me.
"You heard me well enough." I gave him a no nonsense stare.
"Nonsense! Is this another of your fantasies?" That was his lame attempt to deflect.
"You wish. I can even give you details; She has long red hair, pointy ears, creamy skin... she was dressed in green. Or was she dressed at all? I can't quite remember. But I know you called her love every now and then. And you seem to be a passionate kisser..." I teased.
Kili paled with eyes wide open, gulping. "Please, don't tell uncle. He will kill me for sure.."
"My silence has a price, dear. How about you hoot every time your name is said?"
He narrowed his eyes at me, "You wouldn't dare!" He groaned.
At that moment, Thorin came to give instructions, "We will depart in an hour. I see you are bonding with the boys, Wyenne." He smiled at me.
"Oh yes, was here having a conversation with your nephew.. Kili!"
"Hoot!" Kili gulped right after.
"Are you alright, Kili?" Asked Thorin raising an eyebrow.
"Hoot! y..yes I am good." Responded Kili, eyes wide open.
Thorin rolled his eyes while mumbling the word kids under his breath and leaving. Kili sighed with relief, "That was close!"
Everybody packed their belongings to resume their journey. Along the way, Fili intercepted his brother.
"Hey Kili, you forgot your talisman. Here, have it!" He said.
"Hoot! I mean, thank you!" Responded Kili.
"What's wrong with you?" Fili was concerned about the odd behavior of his brother. Kili pulled him apart, whispering low enough so the rest would not hear them..
"Fili, you have to help me! Please promise me you will not tell a soul." He whispered.
"Sure, you know I got your back regardless." Responded Fili.
"Look, I am dating an elf. Remember the redhead from Mirkwood? That one. Point is, Wyenne saw us and is threatening to tell uncle if I don't hoot every time my name is said. I am in big trouble, Fili." He looked scared.
Fili laughed, "So that's what this is all about, genius!"
"Please, will you help me!" Poor Kili was pleading.
"Of course, you will now hoot for me too!" Fili grinned widely with mischief.
"What?! You nasty little cheat!" Said Kili with indignation, walking away from his brother.
Along the way, Fili began to tease. Each time, a different member of the company would give Kili an odd look, wondering what he was up to. Some even asked him. Kili was growing highly irritated and close to his limit of tolerance. At a given point, after Fili said his name three times in a row, Kili finally lost it...
"Gah! I can't take this anymore!" He yelled angrily. Everybody turned to see the boy with a tantrum.
"Kili, what's wrong with you?" Demanded Thorin.
"I am not hooting again, Fili and Wyenne! Did you hear me?!" Kili kept yelling.
Thorin seized his hysterical nephew by the shoulders, demanding some answers to his incomprehensible and overall stupid behavior.
"Look, you love a human, alright?! And I love an elf! Disown me if you will, I no longer care!" He broke from his uncle's grasp, walking straight to Fili and I, "I hope you both are happy now!" Groaned Kili, running away into the woods afterwards.
Thorin turned to us both with a demanding glare for explanations. Fili and I shrugged our shoulders, wide eyed and gulping.
That day I learned it was a bad idea to push too far.